Vampire Heart
by Radiorox
Summary: Being a 700 year old vampire can suck sometimes. Haunted over his feelings for Mac and the fear of betraying an old flame, Harm is tested when a dangerous nemesis follows him to Washington turning, his immortal world upside down. COMPLETE.
1. Vampire Heart

**Title:** Vampire Heart  
**Author:** Jackie  
**Rating: **On JAG Angst Anon – AO, on FF(dot)net, T.  
**Summary: **Being a 700 year old vampire can suck sometimes. Haunted over his feelings for Mac and the fear of betraying an old flame, Harm is tested when a dangerous nemesis follows him to Washington turning, his immortal world upside down.

_"_**_Vampire Heart" by: H.I.M._  
**_Hold me like you held on to life  
When all fears came alive and entombed me.  
Love me like you loved the sun  
Scorching the blood in my  
Vampire Heart.  
_  
**Chapter 1: Vampire Heart**

**2304 Local  
****Rock Creek Park  
****Washington, DC**

Time surely did change things. That fact was almost entirely obscured from those involved in a relationship, but clearly seen by those on the outside. The only problem was that Harm and Mac weren't in a traditional type of relationship. Some would assume that they were made for each other, while others hoped they would do the deed and let a particular type of tension ease away.

Since the untimely demise of Mac's marriage to Mic and her subsequent need to get away to the Indian Ocean, things were definitely different. The time apart had allowed both Harm and Mac to reevaluate things and start on an even keel.

Time was something that Harm had plenty of, but for those around him it was a different story.

Such was the case when you were almost 700 years old and had lived to see friends and family wasting away until there was nothing left but ashes.

"It's nice out." She commented as they walked along the perimeter sidewalk outside of the park. They had gone out to dinner and a movie and then opted for a walk before calling it a night.

Harm nodded in agreement, "Sure is. . .Can't believe it snowed so much this winter."

Mac sighed. She hated the cold weather, which was just about the only thing she despised about living in Washington. "Don't remind me. As much as I love my 'vette, it's hell on my immune system to drive around in a convertible. I swear, even with the heater blasting, cold air manages to seep through."

"Can't say I don't envy you, though. . .It's costing a fortune to get Rosy back in shape."

"Rosy?" In all of the years that she'd known him, Mac never quite heard the man mention that the car had a name. "Rosy?"

Harm shot a sidelong glance at her direction. "You're not gonna get feminist on me are you? Rosy was the name of the lady that I bought the car from, way back when, so I decided to keep the name."

Mac snorted. "Rosy." She said under her breath, never quite coming to terms with men's need to name their toys. _All_ of their toys - even the ones that were part of their anatomy. She giggled at the thought of _that_ part of his anatomy and managed to stop herself before asking him a rather dirty question.

'_I missed this.'_ Harm thought to himself as his arm lightly brushed Mac's. In the beginning, when feelings and emotions weren't so raw, it was easy to just go out as friends. Now, though some of that old comfort had returned, there was always an underlying question that burned. A question that he didn't want to think about, especially given the way he'd kissed her senseless on the night of her engagement party.

It had been rather selfish of him and definitely dangerous to the moral code that he lived by. He'd promised himself he would never become involved with Mac and that was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life. He'd never forgive himself if she saw him for what he was and, like most mortals, instantly believe he was the spawn of Satan or some other soulless creature.

Deep in thought, Harm didn't register the shadowy figure following them until it was too late. "Give me all of your money and don't try anything stupid."

Superior night vision allowed Harm to get a read on the person – a young male, wearing a hoody and sporting a Beretta. The man wasn't nervous and a quick whiff with Harm's heightened sense of smell deduced that their attacker was high on heroin. "Don't you think you should leave us alone?"

"Harm. . .Let's just hand over our things." Marines weren't the type to back down from a fight, but moments like these, self preservation was more important than opting to become a human weapon. There were at least four places that Mac could have either punched or kicked the man in order to disable him, but it was likely that he'd get a shot off before she had a chance to connect. She wasn't about to gamble with Harm's life or her own.

An itchy trigger finger, coupled with the massive quantities of narcotics in the man's body, caused his finger to trip the trigger. The bullet sailed through the air, towards Mac's direction and before she had a chance to move, Harm's body shielded her, the bullet slamming into his gut. "No!"

She expected his body to hunch to the ground, but instead, witnessed a sight that boggled the mind.

While Harm's facial features hadn't exactly changed, the length of his teeth (mainly the incisors and the canines) sure as hell did. Then there were his eyes, which normally offered a color palate between sea green and a grey hue. Those were now large black orbs which were trained directly at their assailant. "I don't think you'll be taking anything from us." He spoke the words in a rhythm, like a command given to a misbehaving child.

The tone of Harm's voice had changed as well. It was deeper and had an almost terrifying quality. "You will go to the police and turn yourself in."

"I will go to the police and turn myself in." The attacker responded in a monotone. He lowered the weapon which was still trained on the pair and immediately turned away, heading towards the general direction of the nearest police station.

Harm took a deep breath to help him endure the pain that he currently felt. Bullet wounds hurt, no matter what species you were. He heard a gasp, followed by the 'ping' of the bullet hitting the ground as the wound to his gut began to heal. The sound made him realize that Mac had witnessed the whole interaction. She'd seen him turn. _Shit!_

"What's going on?" Instead of being by his side, as she had been only minutes earlier, Mac was flattening herself against the nearest tree with a look in her eyes that he'd never seen before, but knew too well. Fear.

"Mac, I can explain." He raised his hands in surrender and made the foolish mistake of walking towards her only to find himself with a frightened Marine, attempting to sever his head with a branch. Knowing she wouldn't listen to reason, he opted for a mental command. "_Stop_."

But it went unheard and he had to almost back up into the middle of the street before he was able to incapacitate her. "Stop, Mac!" But she wouldn't and Harm had to use a countermeasure to prevent her from hurting him. Too bad that he had to use a well placed chop to the side of her neck to do so.

He held her limp body in his arms, his mind racing to find a reason as to why it was happening again. Why couldn't he read her thoughts or force her to heed his commands? It worked with virtually every mortal that he came in contact with, even some others of his kind. True, he rarely used the unique gift, opting instead to try to fit in and be a bit more normal. It made his courtroom cases much more challenging as he fought the want to change the outcome to suit his client.

Minutes later, he was in the SUV, driving towards Mac's apartment with his cell phone pressed to his ear. "Sturgis! Get over to Mac's place right now. She knows."

Yes, time really did change things. Two minutes ago Mac was happily oblivious as to his nature and now he was hoping that his oldest friend would find a way to make her forget.

Being a Vampire sometimes sucked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Author's Note:**

What you have to know: This is somewhere in season 7 before Paraguay and Clay and all of that nonsense. Originally, I was going to do it post-Paraguay somewhere during season 10, but I didn't like Harm and Mac then. They were strangers. At least, around season 7 they started to fix the relationship.

To fit my story, things will change, I might erase some of Harm's past just to fit peices together or just ignore things that i can't really explain. LOL! Go with me on this or abandon all hope. ;)

I've been _dying_ (pun intended) to put this story together. A recent influx of Vampire novels and Bloodties on Lifetime pushed me a bit more into it.

For those that don't know, I used to vampire role play a few years back. I have a tattoo that belongs to the "clan" of vampire that I belong to, etc. I've had a fascination with them since I was a little kid.

There is a sequel for this story. (Yes, I am using the 's' word. ;)) This is a romance/mystery/action fic and the way I write those, ye be warned! Oh expect a smutty scene… Man, it was so hot I needed to take a break from writing it. Course, that won't happen for a while. ;) Muahahaaa!!

Okay so you need to know the following:

Harm was born in the 1300s and because I was going nuts trying to figure out what nationality he was, I wound up making him Irish. Hey, it was an ode to having my first green beer this year on St. Paddy's Day. You'll read more about that once we get to the two "explanation" chappies. I did _some_ research, but, that not being my fav part of stories, took _a lot_ of liberties, had to find a Irish/Gaelic last name that comes CLOSE to Rabb.

You'll read about Katherine (no similarities to CB, the name carried over from another vampire story I was writing ten years ago and never got anywhere with it. Katherine was born a vampire and was the woman that turned Harm. Oddly enough _both_ Diane and Mac look like her, causing a bit of a problem for Harm. More about that as we go along. You will find one HUGE difference between Mac and Diane.

You are going to hear two terms that will be used and mean the same thing: immortal and vampire. One of the stories I've read, the vampires refer to themselves as immortals because they didn't like the word "vampire." The term has become rather cheesy, unfortunately. :(

Anyway, the terms are interchangeable.

Enjoy it, more as it gets betaed. :)


	2. Don’t Close Your Heart

Wow! Thanks for the comments guys, I didn't really think many people were interested. I tried not to make this as hokey as some vamp things. I used to (well, still am) a fan of the show Kindred: The Embraced and they kinda lulled you into a realm that you could see happening. One of their taglines was "we're all around you." More explanations soonish.

**Chapter 2: Don't Close Your Heart**

**0022 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

**"You are so alone  
And tired of breathing  
It's all going wrong  
And you just can't stand the pain  
Baby just don't close your heart" – "Don't Close Your Heart" by: HIM.**

Harm and Sturgis sat, side by side, on the coffee table facing the sofa. With an aloof expression, Sturgis turned to face his friend. "Why did you call me again? I know you have these moral standards, as do I, but I think you can handle Mac while she's in this condition." He waved a hand to Mac's prone form, still unconscious from the blow.

"I _wish_ it were that simple, Sturgis." He stared at Mac as if watching her would help solve some sort of mystery. "I can't read her thoughts." There, he said it and quickly cringed when Sturgis' head snapped his way.

From day one, he realized that her thoughts were impermeable. At first, he chalked it up to Marine training and her strong will, but as time passed Harm realized that it wasn't a fluke on his part. He really couldn't read her mind or control it and it had nothing to do with her strength. So, he'd pushed her away when she'd had the guts to make an advance towards him. He'd pushed her away and into another man's arms, only to live with the pain as he forced himself to watch her love someone else. It made it easier to choose someone else.

It was easy to be with Renee, she too was of his kind and they had made a good couple. But, his heart wasn't in it and a relationship couldn't last on great sex forever. So, she'd set him free. He should have sent Renee a 'thank you' card.

"What!?" Shocked couldn't quite describe his Sturgis' expression. It was more like, dumbstruck. "You what!?" His jaw dropped and he quickly glanced between Harm and an unconscious Mac. "Is _that_ why you two have _so_ many problems?" He waved a hand between the two of them and let out a deep breath. "You know what this means, don't you?"

Harm groaned loudly. He knew what it meant but it was difficult to accept that there was someone in his life who was made for him. No. No. It wasn't difficult, merely impossible. There were things that he was waiting for and Mac wasn't one of those things. "What does it mean? If you're gonna start with the whole soulmate thing, I will stab you with fire stoker over there." He sighed and stood up, then headed towards the balcony door.

_Soulmate. _

_Lifemate._

Both were terms that Vampires used when speaking about their one true love – a human or vampire who's mind you couldn't read or control. No one really knew how that phenomenon happened, only that it was imprinted into their DNA as a means to prevent couples from controlling each other. Essentially, every immortal had their match and Harm's soulmate had come and gone.

_Soulmate._

The word made him think of her - Katherine – his long lost love – the woman that made him a vampire.

Recalling the night that he was changed was both a pleasant and painful memory. Katherine, was the first true love of his life. She'd saved him from death and they'd lived together for several hundred years. One night she was taken from him, murdered, and Harm had never recovered. She had promised to come back for him if they were ever separated and he was holding her to that promise despite it being unlikely that she was still alive.

Of course, things in his life were never meant to be easy, especially not when he was forced to deal with not one, but two dead ringers for his lost love. But, he could read Diane and dictate actions that she was to perform like a marionette to its puppeteer. That alone squelched any thoughts of Katherine coming to him again. Mac, on the other hand, she was still his mystery. He couldn't read her thoughts but chose to chalk it up to her willfulness and strength. At one point, he'd hoped that Mac was Katherine and quickly realized that she had no memories of their past. No, Mac was a different person altogether.

"Damnit, Harm! You _know_ what that means!" Sturgis said sternly. The pair had forged a friendship centuries ago and were often each other's guiding light, so to speak. Sturgis had seen his friend nearly consumed with anger and knew that the key to saving Harm lay in the arms of the woman resting soundly on the sofa. "She's the one."

"No. She isn't." The words came out as a barely audible croak that belied what he really felt. "Even if she is, I can't turn her, Sturgis. . .I can't." Mac was life. She was one of the more animated and incredibly alive persons he'd ever met. Despite adversity, she held a beautiful soul and a mirth that he wouldn't crush. If Harm was true to himself, he'd admit that the reason why he couldn't turn Mac lay at Katherine's feet. He couldn't live through the loss of another lover. So, he would remain her friend and when it was time to move on, he would leave and watch her from afar.

It would be hell on him to see her age and know that he had the power to take that curse away, but it would be more of a curse to condemn her to a life that she probably wouldn't want anyway. Few people really did. "If you lose this chance, it's over. Some of us _never_ find it again."

Harm knew the ramifications of his actions too well. It wasn't just about losing a lover, it was more about losing oneself. Some of his kind became true monsters that had to be put to death simply because they couldn't handle the loneliness any longer and turned that rage into murder. "I can't." The light across the street from Mac's apartment flickered a few times before dying completely.

The transition into the immortal world hadn't been difficult for him. He had always been more of a night person, even before he was turned. It was all of the rules and regulation that were a bitch along with having to deal with the mortal world.

He enjoyed the night, thrived in it. Not to say that he would burst into flames when the sun hit him or anything pathetically cheesy that mortals wrote about in screen plays. He could walk in the sun just like any other person. It _did_ have a slight adverse effect, Vampires tended to be weaker in daylight due to their genetic disorder, but that was countered with a pint or so of blood.

"Just do it." Harm commanded, turning to his friend who was still seated on the coffee table. "Stop worrying about me."

Sturgis frowned. Long ago they had made an oath to watch each other's backs. So far, they'd managed it, saving each other from more than a few harrowing situations. This one though, was Sturgis' most important endeavor. "Fine." He acquiesced; glad that Harm couldn't read his thoughts. While Sturgis wasn't the match making type of guy, he was still willing to try; especially after Mac let it slip that she was in love with Harm. "But, a hundred years from now you'd better not whine about the one that got away."

"It's a deal. Hurry, before she wakes up."

Taking a deep breath, Sturgis concentrated on Mac's mind, seeking out her thoughts of the evening's events. He wasn't surprised that she'd been frightened of Harm's change in appearance. He finished erasing Mac's thoughts and opted not to tell Harm just how much she was afraid of him. "All done." He stood up then, and headed towards the door. "She won't remember much past the two of you walking around the park. And she shouldn't wake up until morning. . .Night, buddy."

"Thank you." Keeping his back to them the entire time, Harm waited a second or two before returning to where Mac lay. Carefully, he carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the unmade bed. He pulled the comforter over her and wrestled with the want of climbing in as well. Abandoning the idea, he settled for the sofa.

In the morning, Mac was surprised to find him in her kitchen whipping up eggs, bacon and pancakes. It was the coffee that woke her up and she curiously followed the scent. Leaning against the door jam, she couldn't help but smile at the domestic scene before her. Harm was absolutely adorable standing barefoot, wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a pink and blue apron with frills on the sides. "Not to say that I don't like to have attractive men cook me breakfast, but, what the hell are you doing here?" She smiled sweetly at him and opted not to chuckle when he jumped and pressed a hand to his heart.

"You scared the shit out of me." He had pilot and Vampire reflexes and yet, the woman could still sneak up on him, a fact that tended to tick him off from time to time.

Mac's smile widened, "I would say 'I'm sorry', but I'm not. . .I kinda like having you on your toes." She took the plates that he shoved at her and motioned towards the fridge. "Grab the orange juice too."

They sat at the dinner table and before Harm had a chance to fully chew his forkful of eggs (yes, he still ate normal food), Mac hit him with the question. "What happened last night?"

It was easy to be confident of the mind altering that he did, but when someone else did it for you, that tended to change the playing field. Especially when your friend was trying to play match maker. "You don't remember?"

She shook her head and swallowed down a mouthful of pancake before answering. "No, I don't remember."

Of course she didn't, but he still wanted to know what he was dealing with before giving her his version of the events. He finished off the orange juice and placed the glass back down on the table. "What _do_ you remember?"

Mac closed her eyes for a moment, hoping that it would jar back something that resembled a memory. There was something there, an altercation of sorts, but the details were so fuzzy and muddled that none of it made sense. "We were walking around Rock Creek Park. After that, it starts to get hazy."

Harm let out the breath he was holding- thank God for Sturgis. "We were mugged. . .Or it was an attempted mugging. . .The guy came out of nowhere and you used one of those maneuvers from your Marine bag of tricks." He waved his hands around, karate chopping the air. "Unfortunately, he got in one good hit and knocked you out. The next thing I know he's running the other way. . . I didn't bother with the cops."

Mac rubbed her hand over the side of her neck, suddenly finding a dull ache that resonated there. Her next question nearly stopped Harm's heart from functioning. And yes, he did have a functioning heart. "Did that guy have a gun?"

"Gun?" He choked out knowing full well that the little mind tricks didn't work on everyone. There was always a person or two that still held some sort of memory that was impossible to erase. "No. . .No gun. At least, none that I saw." Thankfully, he thought about changing his blood stained shirt, opting for a t-shirt that was packed into the gym bag in his SUV. "He didn't take anything either."

"That's good." She said and considered her muddled thoughts once again. "God, I don't remember."

Something inside of Harm caused him to panic. He didn't want to trouble her and loss of memory was a sure way to do just that. "Mac, I wouldn't worry about it. . .You and I have both been burnt out at work. Some people don't remember stressful situations." The rationalization seemed to appease her, if only for the moment, which he was sure wouldn't last. Reaching over, he took her hand in his and squeezed gently. "I guess I need to thank you for saving my life."

That wasn't exactly true and Mac could sense it, though why bother telling him otherwise? It would likely cause a disagreement, which was the last thing that their renewed friendship needed. "What are best friends for?" She smiled at him and genuinely knew that _he_ was the one that had saved _her._ It was his turn after all; she had saved him just a few months earlier.

Mac's heart gave a little lurch at the look that he was giving her. 'When you look at me that way, what do you see?'

'I see a desirable woman.' She was curious to know if he still saw her the same way or if pushing him away had finally driven that wedge between what could have been a beautiful relationship. Mac still loved him, always would and let that fact slip to Sturgis. But, it was the moments such as these, when their jobs didn't interfere and they were just friends, that she loved him just a little more. Leaning forward and closing her eyes, Mac was surprised to feel Harm's lips against her own. It was a soft and gentle kiss, not the all the consuming passionate one from months ago.

They were testing the waters, so to speak, and before Mac could deepen the kiss, Harm pulled away. 'Damn.' He thought with his heart at his throat from letting her suck him into a spell. Maybe he should have pushed her into marrying Mic? God knows it would have been easier to resist her that way, though his heart would break. "What time is it?"

The way that he was staring at her, Mac almost expect him to kiss her again, but it didn't happen. "Almost ten hundred." She couldn't help the disappointment in her voice if she tried. "Why?"

Harm reached for his coffee and downed the liquid. "Have to get going. I was supposed to meet Sturgis half an hour ago." They were rebuilding Rosy, something that he hoped to accomplish before the end of the year. "Get some rest, Mac. I'll call you later." Seconds later, he was gone.

Sadly, Mac stared at Harm's half eaten plate and wondered how long they could go on like this. She'd hoped that their decision to start at the beginning would lead to something else. Obviously, she was wrong. A lone tear slid down her cheek as she made the decision to stop loving Harm, no matter how much her heart would break. Mac would no longer hope.

Outside, Harm hurried across the street to his SUV and slipped on his sunglasses which were dangling from the driver's visor. His body was aching terribly, cramping up from the lack of blood in his system. He didn't feed after the attack and was paying for it in the rays of the morning sun. At the very least, the physical ache would prevent him from thinking about Mac.

**1202 Local  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia**

Harm sighed happily. The light caseload was a welcome from the tumultuous weeks he'd endured. Best of all, he managed to beat the pants off of Sturgis and would be enjoying free lunches for the rest of the week.

In the break room, he was working on making a fresh pot of coffee when Mac stepped in, Bud in tow. "Colonel, I am not entirely sure that it's plausible."

"Anything is plausible if you just put your. . ." Mac told herself that she wouldn't scowl, wouldn't act like a heartbroken teenager and yet, that is exactly what she was doing. Screw professional pleasantries, she was pissed. Depression had weaned off over the weekend. The smile that she'd been sporting all but disappeared when she spotted him.

"Hey Bud, Mac." Harm smiled at the two. He hadn't seen Mac since Saturday, nor had he heard from her save for one message to his machine that she was alright and was turning in early.

Harm noted her 'MacKenzie in the headlights' look and wondered what he did wrong now."Commander." She regarded him with an icy professionalism that only Mac could muster. Her plan was to distance herself from him or risk her heart breaking to pieces.

Bud, who knew the Rabb/MacKenzie tension better than anyone shot the first thing that came to his mind. "Is Harriet calling me?" He glanced out of the door and quickly sauntered off that way and out of the flames, so to speak.

Alone, the tension in the air grew so heavy it was threatening to choke any poor individual who happened to step into the break room. "Coffee?" Harm offered, reaching for Mac's mug which always sat next to his own in the cupboard.

"I'll get it myself, thanks." It wasn't easy to stay angry, but it was much easier than living with that dull ache in her heart.

Harm sighed and shook his head. He didn't have to read her mind to know that she was upset over Saturday morning. "Obviously, you're angry with me." He'd seen the hope in her eyes after the kiss and the hurt when he walked away. Trying not to feel for her wasn't easy for him, but hurting her, that was the part that destroyed him the most.

"I am not angry with you, Commander. And how dare you presume to know how or what I feel? Excuse me." She all but shoved him out of the way, filled up her mug and stalked out as fast as her high heels could carry her.

Sturgis, who was standing at the door through the entire show, resisted the urge to throttle his friend. "It's one step forward, ten steps back for your two. What the hell happened?"

Harm reached for a spoon and plopped it into the mug. "I left. . .I left JAG to fly Tomcats off of aircraft carriers. . .That's less dangerous than having to deal with her." He stirred sugar into his coffee and then tossed the spoon into the sink. It resonated with a loud sound that made his ears ache. "I could have stayed on a carrier. . .I should have stayed."

"You were ordered back." Sturgis pointed out. Although, it hadn't been the Navy who initially brought Harm back – higher powers were at work. There were easier jobs that a Vampire could do. Jobs that didn't require such a comprehensively false background history or as much training as he and Harm had been through. Then again, his race needed to be placed into strategic mortal positions in order to maintain some level of control over their adversaries. A high council of elders made sure of that.

Disgusted, Harm left the break room, seeking the sanctuary of his office but, Sturgis followed. "Why were you sent here, Sturgis? Was it to check up on me? I thought it was safer for our kind to be inside of a sub?" Harm tossed the barb knowing it would slightly offend his old friend's beliefs. They'd always been opposites in many aspects – Harm the loose cannon/hot head and Sturgis the cerebral/detail oriented/careful Vampire.

"I decided to live on the edge." Sturgis still missed that cold darkness of life as a submariner. It was far easier to live on a sub than above the water. There was never a shortage of blood and with over a hundred men on board, it was easy for him to take from more than one person without being noticed.

"Hah. Right." He studied his friend for a brief moment. Sturgis didn't have to say a word for Harm to realize that something was up. "They sent you to check on me, didn't they?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny."

Vampires as a whole were a relatively small race. Outnumbered by their mortal counterparts three to one, they learned to survive by blending into society.

Blending in brought forth a collection of rules and regulations that would have dire consequences for those that broke them. Immortals needed to be careful who they revealed themselves to. The termination of mortal or immortal life, without approval from the council, a group of elder vampires known as The Collective, was not permitted. Those that slipped, be it by accident or with purpose, were sentenced to death.

It was the hedonistic ways of vampires in the earliest of centuries that had made their culture become so strict. It was all in the hopes of blending in and preventing the various Inquisitions that practically decimated the race.

The rules had helped set a peaceful existence and allowed immortals to slip their kind into all facets of mortal life – government, law enforcement, military. Vampires also learned to curve their hunger for sustenance and began living off of bagged blood, rather than riskily feeding off of mortals. All they wanted was to survive in peace.

"I can take care of myself, Sturgis."

"I know. But who better to watch your back than me?"

"This is true." Not that he didn't trust the other vampires around him; it was easier to have someone to count on and Sturgis had always been that type of friend. "Listen, can you just forget about last night?"

The question made Sturgis want to jump over the desk and kick Harm until he conceded defeat. The man was more stubborn than a mule. "Okay. . .But, after you answer me this – Why? Why are you so afraid to take what you know is yours? You answer that and I'll leave well enough alone." He was tempted to give away Mac's secret but doubted that it would do much good. Harm seemed intent on living out the rest of his life in misery. It seemed to be a theme with vampires of their age and Sturgis would be damned if he allowed his friend to do something so stupid it would destroy his future.

Harm closed his eyes tightly, willing that question to disappear into thin air. It was of no use and he knew that the time to voice his concerns had come. "It's not just one thing. . .Part of me is afraid that she'll reject me."

"Like Diane did."

"Yes. . .I blame myself for her death. . .If I hadn't told her what I was. . .She would have never taken that final cruise. . .She would have never crossed Holbarth's radar." To say that Diane rejected him was putting it lightly. She'd been the first mortal that he found a kinship that turned into something more. He loved her, but knew that part of that love stemmed from her likeness to another woman - Katherine. But he could control Diane's thoughts, an action that signaled a bad match between lovers. It would have never worked out.

Sturgis never understood why Harm had to continually shift the blame on himself. It was the 'tortured hero' lifestyle which he'd hoped would have disappeared after so many years. "What if it was her time, Harm?"

Harm ignored the question. "Mac looks like both of them. . .Both of them. Now, I don't know if the universe is playing some cosmic joke on me, but I am not laughing." He paused for a moment, letting his memories take him back over six hundred years to the woman who saved him. "Mac's more like Katherine, though. . .Strong, willful, desirable." And while he still desired Diane, there was something missing and he knew it. But, with Mac. . . "Being with me is dangerous. . .I've done things, evil things and there are many out there that want revenge. . .The last thing I need is for Mac to be killed because of me."

"So you push her away?"

"It's easier that way."

"And break her heart in the process?"

Harm snorted, "Mac's only infatuated with me. . .She doesn't love me." And yet, she had indulged in that kiss with him. In fact, it was her fault that they kissed in the first place. "She might find me attractive, but. . ."

"Please." Sturgis waved him off and stood up abruptly. He wasn't about to hear the rest of it, not with the secret that he knew. "You know what? I give up. . .But let me give you one last piece of advice – let go of Katherine. . .She isn't coming back. . .You saw her die, case closed."

Harm felt a deep sickening feeling – if only it were that easy. "You don't understand." He whispered under his breath and sighed deeply. The memory was due to torture him forever. Katherine was in his arms, dying and her last words filled him with a small sense of hope that would haunt him. _'Wait for me. . .I'll come back for you.'_

And that is exactly what he was doing, waiting. "We get one chance to turn someone. One chance. I don't want to make a mistake. . .I don't want to turn the wrong person and miss out on. . ." With a deep sigh, Harm trailed off. Sturgis had yet to find _the one _and, therefore, had no idea what it felt like to truly love and lose. The loss was so unbearable that it changed Harm, turned him into a vengeful monster for so many centuries that he'd nearly lost himself. "She told me to wait. . . Katherine told me to wait for her."

"And you have." Sturgis understood the sadness of waiting. It gnawed at you, ripped out your soul until there was little left. Immortals who went too many centuries without their match became rogues. Hateful, vengeful, rogue vampires were lawless and used their anger to thrive. The call of the beast would get a hold and those, who once were good, turned to killing for pleasure.

Sturgis knew Harm had experienced some of it when Katherine died. He'd avenged her death for centuries and while he was not put to death, it had cost him his freedom. Now he could sense it in Harm, the deep, dark desires to break the rules and become one of the hunted just because he never accepted the other piece of his soul.

Contrary to the beliefs of the entertainment industry, Vampires weren't solitary creatures. No being could live so long without companionship. "Maybe I haven't waited long enough?" He scrubbed a hand over his face.

"I don't think you know what you're waiting for." With a frown, Sturgis stood and headed towards the door. "All of this waiting is going to cost you more than you could ever imagine. . .You're not going to get another chance." Stopping with his hand on the door handle, Sturgis turned to Harm. "I know you love Mac, even if you won't admit it. . .Eventually, she will die. Are you going to be able to live with yourself knowing that you had the power to save her?"

Harm sighed deeply and watched as his friend departed from the office. The day had been looking so promising. Now, dark clouds were looming in the horizon.


	3. Circle Of Fear

Ooooooooooookay, moving right along. This part took a bit... I had it one  
way and decided to change it. V - read it again. ;) I added some stuff,  
changed it... I think you might like it better this way - the whole crossing  
to another apartment made zero sense. This was the original version which I  
changed and then changed back. I am worse than an indecisive shop lifter.

Oh, and I've gotten a few "Who's HIM?" e-mails. They are a Finnish rock  
band that consider themselves to be "Love Metal". Dark lyrics/love songs,  
etc. I have their logo tattooed on the inside of my left wrist (no it  
doesn't hurt there and no, you don't nick any veins. :P) along with two  
hearts linked together - a symbol of a song called "Funeral of Hearts" and  
another symbole, the cross of Lorraine, which is their symbol for another  
song "Join Me in Death"

Enjoy!  
Jackie.

**Chapter 3 – Circle Of Fear**

"**Heartache's knocking on her door  
****Shadows dance outside her window  
****Tears keep falling on the floor  
****As the world around her crumbles." – "Circle of Fear" by HIM **

**1930 Local  
****Harm's Apartment  
****North of Union station**

Harm wasn't particularly into baking, and yet found comfort in sweets when he was depressed. At that given moment he had a right to be depressed. He'd kissed the woman he loved _again._ And again it led to nothing. True, it had much to do with the circumstances; Mac was obviously ready for him and he wasn't. Sighing in frustration, he tossed a rag into the sink. He knew he needed to leave and never come back, but Harm couldn't leave. Not without her. She was woven into the fabric of his life almost as if she'd always been there.

A knock at the door had him instantly on alert. Instinctively, he reached for a knife and shuffled his way towards the door. Before reaching it, he smelled her, that rich, spicy aroma that was very much Mac. Thank God he'd mastered the art of control. If he'd been a fledgling, it was sure that he'd drain her dry. As it was, control slipped from time to time.

He placed the knife on the butcher block and then turned towards the door. "Coming." Straightening his spine, he opened the door and smiled. "Mac. . . What brings you. . ."

"We need to talk." She never gave him a chance to finish his question, instead barged right in without him even asking her to. It was rude but she didn't care.

Sighing, he closed the door and settled against it. He didn't want to talk about it, merely wanted to co-exist with her without having to worry about talking or kissing or making lo. . ._No_. . .He just wanted to be. "Talking has never been our strong suit." Suspiciously, he eyed a white plastic bag which swung from her right hand.

"That's not true. We used to talk. In fact, we used to _confide_ in each other." Mac placed the bag on the kitchen island and then pulled out a cream colored box. "I _miss_ that. I miss that a lot."

"What's in the box?" He motioned towards his query and saw that Mac had taken the knife he'd previously taken.

She grinned mischievously, as if her box held a secret. Her Pandora's box. "Chocolate Mousse cake from Giovanni's." His favorite and the one dessert she would buy when needing to sway him. Mac would only purchase it during dire circumstances. His reaction towards their kiss and his unwillingness to let her in was definitely dire and it had to end. Especially if there were any hopes of them ever being a. . .well. . ._them._

Harm didn't even bother fighting her. "I'll put on the coffee." Dutifully, he waited for the brew, all the while trying to ignore her proximity as Mac plated up the dessert. He breathed a sigh of relief as she took the plates towards the living room, giving him space to breathe. He soon followed with the coffee, prepared just the way that Mac preferred.

Keeping the safe route, Harm took a seat on his arm chair, making sure he would kept a safe distance away from her. It had been a long time since he'd been this jumpy around Mac and although annoying, it was necessary until things evened out again. As much as it pained him, maybe it would have been better if she'd married Mic. At the very least, she would still be in his life, but loving someone else.

There was no future between them, he thought as he chewed thoughtfully on his dessert. A mortal and a vampire did not a good couple make. If she ever caught wind of the true him, like every other mortal lover Harm had, she would fear him. He'd wind up losing her anyway. At least this way she was oblivious.

"Mmmm." A rich moan sounded and Harm focused on Mac to find her licking the spoon. Eyes closed, pleasant grin on her lips, Mac licked every inch of chocolate goodness from the utensil and then went back for another spoonful. "God, this is better than sex." A blush crept up her cheeks when she realized that the comment had been voiced. "I wasn't supposed to say that out loud."

Harm was trying not to choke. He gulped down mouthfuls of coffee, wheezing as the dessert remained caught somewhere in his throat. When he finally regained his composure, Mac was staring at him with a raised brown and a cute little grin on her face. "Prude."

"I am not a prude, Mac." It wasn't the first time she'd called him that. Thank God they weren't on a boat this time. Talk about sinking the Titanic.

"Yeah, right. . .Guess you still can't figure out how to act around me. . .You're just this way around me." She snorted, taking them back to Sydney harbor and a night that had nearly sealed their fate. '_Only with you.' _Mac was never sure what he meant by his answer or whether or not it was a _good_ thing. The man could be so damned infuriating at times!

Harm sighed deeply. "Mac, you're reading too much into this thing between us. . .It's an attraction, nothing else." Then why did it hurt him to say that out loud? His heart hammered away inside so hard that he could hear it in his ears. Why was she making him so out of control?

Taking a ragged breath, Mac dropped the fork loudly on the plate. "Then why do you keep doing this to me?" She yelled at him as frustration crawled out from inside. "You don't want to be with me, and yet you can't stand to see me with someone else!"

"Mac."

"Is this some kind of a joke you play on women? Oh, poor Mac, she needs a little attention, let's see how much I can screw her up?"

Appalled, he stood up immediately and glared down at her. "No! You know that's not true."

Standing up as well, Mac took a few steps closer to Harm, leaving nothing but a breath between them. "Then explain it to me. I deserve it, don't you think?"

Her smell. Her heat. Her anger. It was all riding hard on his senses. Mac was entirely too close for his own good and the charge between them made him step back before he did something stupid. "Please, Harm. Do you want me to beg?"

The look in her eyes was killing him. "Mac, the conversation on this topic is over. For good."

Mac's mouth dropped slightly. The wind fell from her sails as she stood there, glaring at him. Out of all of things she expected, never once would it have occurred to her that he'd end things, just like that. "Then why did you kiss me that night?" It was that kiss which had left her a mess inside. She was learning to cope – learning to live without him – learning to love another man and then, with just one kiss, he shook her world off of its axis. It was still spinning out of control. "Mic and Renee were right there, just inside."

"You leaned in first." He accused and while it was the truth, Harm didn't have to grab for her so desperately. To this day, he still felt the breath leave her body as he crushed Mac against him. His hands had slipped under the jacket, feeling the bits of naked flesh of her back which were exposed.

"I only meant to kiss you goodbye. . .I pulled back and you grabbed me." She closed her fists and pressed them against her chest. "You followed me out to the Guadalcanal. Why?"

The answer was simple but the complications that would arise were too much to deal with. Forever, he needed to shelter his feelings for Mac. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. . .I made a mistake, so did you." Then, he mustered up all of his strength and walked past Mac to take the plates and mugs from the coffee table. "It's getting late, Mac. . .I think you better go."

Mac felt him brush by on his way to the kitchen. She watched him turn the water on and take the sponge to clean the plates. Her want to mend things was shattered. Without a word she took her purse and left his apartment. _'I won't cry.'_ She kept telling herself as she jabbed her finger to call the elevator. "It's busted again." She heard a voice say from the steps adjacent to the machine. Mac turned to find Maggie Leosh, Harm's downstairs neighbor. "Nice to see you, Colonel. . .Is he in?"

She spotted a small coffee tin in the girl's hand and motioned towards Harm's apartment. "The Commander is there, just knock." Often Mac had wondered about Maggie and if her good looks had gotten her more than coffee from Harm. A writer in her late twenties, Maggie was still single, her work for one of the local magazines tended to keep her love life at bay.

Maggie smiled brightly at Mac. "Good, I need to steal some coffee from him. . .Gotta finish a story by tomorrow, you know how that goes." The two women said their goodbyes and Mac hurried down the stairs. She didn't want to know, didn't want to hear any type of flirting. She need to get home, drown her sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry's and hope to be able to face Harmon Rabb the following day.

When Harm heard a knock, he was sure that Mac had returned. Being a Marine, she was always ready for a fight. However, the scent was different this time, sweeter and with a hint of a vanilla smelling perfume. "Maggie." He said under his breath and whipped up a smile.

"Hey, I just saw Colonel MacKenzie. . .You two never stop working do you?" She let herself in, pushing past Harm as she headed towards the refrigerator. "I'm just gonna grab some coffee, the boss is on my butt over some stupid story I gotta finish by tomorrow."

Harm watched her lithe body moving, felt the beast rage within him. Arguing with Mac had always brought out an animalistic side that he usually had no problems keeping under wraps. Today was much different. Immortals, in efforts to blend in by not feeding off of mortals, had discovered the perfect food source – blood banks. Rather than throw away any expired component of blood, it would be sent to an immortal laboratory who would treat the component to create whole blood and make it useable for vampire consumption. Unfortunately for Harm, his shipment was late.

"You're awfully quiet." Maggie said and then winked. "Cat got your tongue?" She never had any problems flirting with him and, for his current need, she would serve a great purpose. Maggie wouldn't have to know a thing either. He would easily crawl into her mind, command her to obey then he'd take what was needed. Her memories would be wiped clean.

Out of habit, Harm ran his tongue over his top teeth to find his canines and incisors fallen into place. With a mental push, Maggie stopped her flirting and stood perfectly still. Zombie-like, she walked to him and tilted her head to offer him her neck.

"You will not remember any of this." He stated in an otherworldly voice as he came around and stepped behind her. Harm held her body against him and sank his teeth deep into her throat. He drank deeply, craving the healing effects that only blood would supply for him. It was the benefit of being an immortal, the regeneration that would occur in rapid time. He wouldn't be fully healed though, until he was able to fall into a death sleep, a time when vampires were, literally, dead. It was a period where their body would regenerate fully and it required for all bodily systems to be shut down for repairs. During that time his heart wouldn't beat and his lungs would not take in oxygen. For all intents and purposes, he would be dead.

Still inside the building, Mac was waiting for the rain to ease. Each second that passed only seemed to anger her more. She wanted answers, good answers to his behavior. '_I see a desirable woman.' _She scoffed at the thought and stared up to the ceiling. Maggie still hadn't come back down, that thought alone engaged her body. Before she knew it, Mac was headed back up, vowing not to back down until she gave him a piece of her mind.

It was stupid to fight for a man that kept pushing her away but, to be fair, she'd done her own pushing. Maybe that had left him confused as she'd been? The door to his apartment was opened, left ajar and inviting her to enter without a knock.

Stepping in, she witnessed a sight that nearly destroyed her. There was Harm, kissing Maggie's neck, holding her in the way that only a lover would. Maggie's eyes were opened, half lidded and her face bore look of pleasure would make any woman envious of such attention.

Mac wanted to scream, to run across the room and rip Maggie out of Harm's arms. Instead, her eyes locked onto something peculiar. She followed it, the droplet of blood which rolled down Maggie's neck staining her white t-shirt.

"Harm?" Mac's voice made his eyes snap open and the horrified look on her face stopped his moment of nourishment. "Oh God." Something was terribly wrong. His teeth were long, extending farther than that of any human. But it was the creature's eyes that frightened her most.

"Mac." The name sounded out in a growl as he fought the urges inside of him. Harm didn't want her to see him that way, knowing he would lose her then for sure, especially if he couldn't get Sturgis to erase her mind. With her gifts, it was likely that she'd never forget.

Releasing his hold on Maggie, he took a quick lick of the puncture wounds, ensuring that they would seal and heal before she awoke the next morning. Zombie-like, the woman stood rooted in place, eyes glancing foreword, unseeing.

"Mac, don't look at me." He commanded, but she didn't heed it. Instead, she stared at him in shock. "Look away, please."

Marine training could not prepare her for this. . .this. . . "What are you?" As irrational as the question was, to Mac, it was totally called for. She _knew_ Harm and this wasn't him. Alarmed, she began moving backwards, hoping to reach the open door.

With preternatural speed, Harm crossed the apartment and closed the door, preventing an escape. Mac bumped into him then and spun around, pulling out a 9mm from her purse as she did. "What are you?!" She yelled at him backing away towards the dinning area. There was a fire exit there, which she intended to use as escape.

He tried so hard to retract his teeth and turn his eyes back to normal but his traitorous body wasn't cooperating. It was the smell of fear coursing through her veins, making the scent of her even more alluring as it would a wild animal. In fact, that was the other side of him, a wild animal which remained caged. Harm tried to stop himself from moving forward but took two steps towards her anyway. "Put the gun down, Mac."

"What is going on?" Mac yelled and maintained the pistol steady on her target. Her mind was trying to come to grips with what she was seeing. Everything in her mind screamed 'vampire' but, those things didn't exist. After what she witnessed, Mac just didn't know anymore. "Come any closer and I'll shoot."

"Mac, put the gun down." He inched forward, knowing he was tempting fate. Then again, this was Mac and she wouldn't hurt him, he knew that she wouldn't. "You won't shoot me." Then again, self preservation could make even the most trained individual a little irrational. "Ugh!" Two shots to his gut made him double over. "Damnit!" Harm yelled. He'd forgotten just how much a gunshot could hurt. Had he fed properly such a thing would not have had such an effect and yet, he could feel the pain start to make him black out. He came to his knees, breathing hard as oblivion began to take him under. Harm fought hard, managing to keep himself from blacking out. The ordeal had changed his features back to normal.

Mac's face turned from that of fear to horror. "Harm?" _Eyes_ wide with shock, she was moved slowly towards him, the hand holding the gun shaking. "What have I done?" She kneeled before him and pressed her hand to the wound. "Harm? Harm, talk to me." When he didn't immediately respond, she reached for her cell phone and dialed 911. "Oh God, what have I done?"

Harm took the phone from her and closed it. "Mac, I'm fine." He stood up and staggered past her towards the kitchen sink. "Did you have to shoot me?" He pulled off his blood soaked shirt and tossed it into the sink.

Staring at the bloody skin, Mac couldn't quite fathom what she was witnessing. The two bullet holes seemed to be moving. Seconds later, one bullet and then the other fell from the holes, clattering to the ground. She watched in awe as the holes then seemed to seal themselves. "What the?" Sure that she was losing her mind, Mac ran her fingers over puckered skin where the hole should have been. "This. . .can't. . .How?"

Secrets weren't the easiest thing to keep, especially when trying to hide them from a person you cared so much for. Worst of all, Harm knew that Mac would feel betrayed. How would she not with all of the lies? "Mac. . .I never wanted to hurt you, please believe me."

A poor choice of words, she could only stare at him unsurely. "What's going on?" Mac's voice cracked as she fought hard not to flee from the warnings her intuition was feeding her. "What are you?" When she reached out to touch him, Harm stepped away as if her hands would burn him.

"Immortal . .A vampire." The terms sounded foreign even for Harm who had been in this existence for centuries. It wasn't something he readily uttered to anyone.

The proof was staring her down, his eyes swirling in different colors, something she'd noticed before but attributed to change in emotions and light. It never occurred to her that his eyes changed because he was _different. _"Vampires don't exist."

A brief consideration of knocking Mac out and taking her to Sturgis passed fleetingly through Harm's mind, but something inside told him that she wouldn't be easily susceptible to mind control this time around. She knew too much and she had abilities that she had proven by saving him from a watery grave. "Mac. . .You know it's true." He held her shoulders, forcing her to look as his eyes took on the color of onyx. His fangs descended and Harm raised his upper lip, showing canines that extended pass the length of normal teeth.

Mac tried to step away but his hands, in a force she'd never felt from him before, held her still. "No. This isn't real."

"I'm sorry, Sarah. . .It _is_ real. . .I can't lie to you anymore."

At once he released her and Mac took three steps away from him. "You stay away from me." She raised a finger, accusingly pointing. "You're a monster!"

'_Monster!'_ It wasn't the first time someone accused him of such a thing. The last person had been Diane. Coming from Mac made Harm feel hideous. Indeed, he was a monster and had done monstrous things as a result. "You don't have to worry. . .I won't attack you." He changed his features back and shoved his hands in his jean pockets trying to seem as harmless as possible.

"Yeah, tell that to the girl you just sucked dry!" Just then, she recalled Maggie who was still standing in the middle of the apartment – a living sculpture. "What is wrong with her?"

"That girl is fine, Mac. . .Maggie will wake up in the morning and not remember a thing." He really didn't want to explain mind control and how that facet of his life was even possible. To this day, there was no complete answer, simply that it was part of immortal genetics – a way to keep the predator a step ahead of its prey.

Mac stared at him with disgust. He'd just taken the girl's blood and was justifying it with the notion that the woman wouldn't remember a thing? Her mind was going in circles, trying to grasp as to how it would be possible for the woman to forget this encounter when she found Harm walking towards her again. Instinctively, Mac raced to her gun, which sat on the floor. From a squatting position, she raised her arm up and pointed at him. "Please don't make me use this again."

"Fine." He stood in front of her, arms raised in surrender. This wasn't a fight that he was going to win and it was certain that Mac wouldn't listen to any explanation. He had to let her go and hope for the best. "Whatever you believe. . .It's still me."

Those words brought a pain to Mac's heart, an ache that she'd never felt before. It nearly compared to the ache she felt after kissing him on the Admiral's porch. But this ache was much more pronounced and rooted to her soul. She realized now why things always seemed to be so difficult for them. Why it was that he seemed so reluctant to begin a relationship with her. This time, Mac knew she'd lost him for good. No - she never had him. "I came back hoping to patch things. . .Now I realize I never want to see you again."

She practically ran out of Harm's apartment, thankful that she had the habit of shoving her car keys in her jeans. The last thing Mac wanted was to prolong her right to grieve the relationship – their friendship.

Harm stood at the window, watching as the red Corvette raced up the street and out of sight. A feeling of sadness welled deep inside. He should have taken greater care with Mac, never allowed himself to care for her. "What have I done?" He whispered to no one in particular. Turning to Maggie, he gave her a silent command that sent her out of his apartment and back to work after brewing a strong pot of coffee.

He turned his attention to the small pool of blood on the floor. Cleaning blood completely off of any surface was a hard task. It would take him a few hours to remove that intoxicating smell. In those hours he would contemplate what went wrong and why he was doomed to live a life of misery.


	4. Drunk On Shadows

**Hey gang!**

**We're moving right along here. The next chapters a LOT of things will be explained. :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Jackie**

**Chapter 4 – Drunk On Shadows**

**Drunk on shadows and lost in a lie  
Killing ourselves a kiss at a time  
Devil's dance while angels smile.  
"Drunk On Shadows" by HIM – from Dark Light**

**Three Days Later  
****2230 Local  
The National Mall  
****Washington, DC**

Harm wasn't the type to drink his misery away. To begin with, the only way that he could become undoubtedly inebriated was if he fed off of a mortal who was under the influence. Something in vampire blood seemed to dissolve normal alcohol as if it were never present. Eventually, after consuming three times the amount that a normal person could possibly toss down, then, maybe, he would feel a buzz.

But after the day that he'd had, drinking down a few beers just seemed normal – human. "That's not really a smart idea, is it?" Harm didn't have to turn around to know that Sturgis had been standing there, watching him.

Shrugging, he glanced up at his friend. "I know this won't get me drunk, Sturg. . . It's just . . .aww hell." Harm waved between the beer and the reflecting pool and then shrugged again, ". . .makes me feel a little more human." He finished one beer and reached for two more, offering one to his friend. "Here, I always hated drinking alone. . .So how'd you find me?"

Sturgis took the beverage and slid into a spot next to Harm on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. In all of the years since they've been friends Harm had always been difficult to find, but Sturgis had always managed. He would be left clues that he could follow like breadcrumbs. "After all of these centuries, you don't think that you're easy to find?"

Harm snorted at the notion, "How many places did you check on before you chose to come here?"

"Four. . . and thanks for the beer." Despite the alcohol's lack of effect, Sturgis too had a fondness for the liquid and the way it tickled his throat as it raced into his system. Some of their kind gave up eating and drinking as they had very little nutritional value for their bodies. Much like Harm, Sturgis had always found foods a pleasure and indulged in order to blend in. "This has Mac written all over it." He said suddenly, a challenging look in his eyes as he stared his friend down. "What did you do now?"

"Me!" It was difficult not to take a defensive position on the matter. "Why is it always me? Did you ever think that _maybe_, just maybe, she might have a thing or two to do with it?"

"No. . . What happened?"

Despite the clues that Harm had left behind, he found that company was the last thing he needed this night. And yet, Sturgis had always offered impartial advice. He was the only person he could count on to never betray him. "She knows what I am."

Nearly choking on his beer, Sturgis leaned forward allowing the amber fluid to drip out of his mouth and nose. He caught his breath long enough to turn a shocked expression towards his friend. "How the hell did that happen?"

"You know I've gotten into the habit of not feeding as much as I should."

"Oh no." The older the vampire, the less blood they needed to sustain themselves. It was somewhat of a rite of passage, the ability to cope. Harm had taken great liberties with that rite and often skipped or altogether forgot about blood until it was totally necessary. Life was easier if he didn't have to worry about carrying around sustenance, besides, he could always drink his fill once he got home. "You didn't do something stupid, did you?"

"She came over, we got into a fight and I couldn't. . ." The manner in which the night in question had unfolded was truly disconcerting. While he didn't expect Mac to welcome him with open arms, he did expect himself to, at least, stay in control. "I couldn't give her what she wants."

Sturgis seen it building from the moment he stepped his foot into JAG ops. The chemistry between Harm and Mac was consuming everything in its wake. "What do _you_ want?"

Harm _had_ been good at maintaining himself detached, able to control his ravenous hunger while others of his kind couldn't. It had always been his forte but two women, with similar faces, had threatened to steal that control away. "I want _her_, Sturgis." He said, as if the admission had cost him something. "I want her so bad that it's becoming almost impossible to control." He smiled in memory of the moment, her flushed face and the way she'd licked her mousse covered spoon. The woman could seduce him without even trying, which is why he held back, for both their sakes. "The emotions brought out the beast inside and she, uh. . .she shot me."

"What?!" Again Sturgis coughed up the amber liquid and decided that it was best to leave the beer alone for the rest of the conversation.

"Mac left and Maggie, my downstairs neighbor came up needing to borrow coffee. . .I needed to feed so bad that I couldn't wait for a blood shipment. So, I took a bit from Maggie." He cringed at the thought. Not that he didn't enjoy feeding from mortals, he just rather no one see him. "Mac returned and my fangs were in Maggie's throat. . .I tried to calm her down but, in the heat of the moment, she shot me."

"That's not good. Have you tried talking to her?"

" She won't talk to me now. Won't return my calls and removed herself from any case that we have to work together." That explains their icier than normal interaction for the last few days. While Sturgis believed that Harm and Mac had gotten over whatever it was that affected them when he first arrived, now it was worse. The tingle in the air was almost hostile. . .

_**. . . Earlier That Day. . .**_

Mac wasn't just avoiding him, no, she was positively ignoring him even during staff meeting when he'd managed to get a seat right across from her. The Admiral had given them a case to prosecute together. Hours later, he found himself with Bud as his new second chair, Mac had removed herself.

"Can we talk?" Finally summoning up the courage, he went to her only to be ignored. Harm tempted fate and stepped into the office settling himself into one of the guest chairs without being invited in.

Tension wove itself around her, menacing, threatening to strangle the life from her. Mac was scared, the smell of fear wafting towards Harm who could only hang his head in shame. He spotted her hand which moved to the left where her desk organizer was. From it, Mac retrieved a letter opener, its edge sharp enough to do damage. She held the unconventional weapon with an iron grip, knuckles going white from the effort.

The last few days had been insanely eating away at her gut as she sought out ways to avoid contact. Thankfully, interviews had kept her out of the office, but today there was just no avoiding him. Mac wasn't sure if the whole stake through the heart routine would work on Harm, but she was prepared to use it if he attacked her.

Self-defense came natural to Marines and, fundamentally, Harm understood her need

to protect herself from him. Still, it hurt that she couldn't trust him despite their past. "Mac, you can't just ignore me. . .The Admiral may have taken you off of the case today, but at some point we'll wind up working together. . .Not to mention, we bump into each other at least twice a day."

Mac's clutch on the letter opener tightened and her stomach as her stomach began doing summersaults. The Marines prepared her for almost everything but this. . .talk about being sideswiped. She'd been through so much with Harm in such a short period of life. But this was too much, even for her. At some point Mac knew that she'd have to speak to him, if anything to let him know that she was thinking of requesting a change in her billet.

Today though, she wasn't ready to face him. She was never big on sleeping and only fell asleep early in the morning when her tears had subsided and exhaustion claimed her. Exhaustion and fear did not a good combination make. It surprised Mac that he was remaining patient with her, waiting for an answer or at least an argument. She could feel his eyes on her and the heat that always seemed to melt her, even if she tried to ignore it.

How could she ignore it anyway? The man had a unique ability of taking over any space he was in. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic in her own office. "Harm." Sighing deeply, she finally found the guts to look up at him and challenge the demon that had frightened her last night. He was so handsome, so charming and so dangerous. "I ah. . .I can't. . . can't talk to you right now. . .Maybe not ever. Please leave."

"I had a feeling you would say something like that." Harm came prepared though he wasn't sure how she would take the proof of his existence throughout the years. He'd kept the images in a secret safe in his apartment. No mortal had ever seen them and he vowed that they never would. But, for the good of their friendship, for his sanity, she needed to know. "I am not sure if this helps." Carefully, with slow movements, he placed an envelope on Mac's desk and slid it across until it sat just in front of her. "No one has ever seen these. . .So, I am asking you to keep them between you and I. . .Please take care of them." With that, he stood and closed the door behind him as he stepped back into the bullpen. . .

_**. . . Present. . .**_

Sturgis stared at his friend as if he'd grown three heads. "You have pictures of yourself?"

"Daguerreotypes, small portraits. . .I've had them hidden for years. . .No one has ever seen them." It dictated his lives he had lived throughout his existence. Harm didn't know why, but he needed Mac to see them.

"I don't know how that will help." His friend confessed truly, wondering if this was the final nail to the Harm and Mac coffin. "You know you can't read her. I don't know why you didn't just change her once you found out."

Harm groaned audibly though he knew that Sturgis would eventually bring up the whole soulmate/lifemate situation again. "Sturgis, what if she's not the one I'm supposed to be with? What if I can't read her just because Mac has a strong will?"

"_I _can read her and _you_ are stronger than I am. . .If she had a strong will, I wouldn't be able to erase her memories." There were times that Sturgis really wanted to grab Harm and shake him hard until he came to his senses. "Why are you taking such a hard line on this? Don't you want to be happy again?. . . Once and for all explain it to me, damnit!"

He didn't want to explain, didn't want to relive the pain of loving and losing only to lose again. Harm didn't want to believe that there was someone else out there for him when the woman he loved most had asked him to wait. "Do you know why I became an enforcer?"

"No. . .Just like The Collective chose for me to be a healer, I expected that they'd appointed you." That was the way it worked in their community. The Collective, their secret vampire government, chose immortals for specific jobs. There were healers who had been taught to wield an ancient type of magic in order to help their kind survive. Enforcers were immortal police, jury and executioners, created to help keep their kind in line and persecute those who broke their hallowed laws. There was The Collective itself where immortal leaders, elders, would gather much like congress did in the US government.

It was all intricately woven into a near perfection and created to insure that the immortal race survived after atrocities such as the Inquisition when so many of their kind were obliterated.

Harm wasn't born an enforcer but was rather asked to choose between his own death or the death of those which defied consecrated laws. "When Katherine died, I took it upon myself to avenge her death. . . There were many immortals involved . .people who had spied for Kale and his family. . .Those who lied to The Collective. . .I killed them all and was sentenced to death. At the last moment, they made me chose to either work for them or die. . .I chose to live in hopes that, one day, I'd find Katherine again."

"Do you regret it?" Ah, the million dollar question. Most of their kind truly enjoyed what they were due to the knowledge and power that grew with each passing decade. Others remained disgusted and truly unable to fully integrate to the immortal way of life.

"No." He ran a hand through his hair and settled back against the steps, defeat lingering over his features. "I'm just confused. . .Imagine my surprise to find that Katherine and Diane looked so much alike. . .and Mac. . .Three women with the same face. . .I don't know what to make of that."

Sturgis understood that predicament, Harm had mentioned it to him before, but Diane and Mac were different. "You could read and control Di. . .You can't with Mac. . .Maybe it's time to let go of Katherine for good?"

"I want to. . .but, I am afraid of. . .If she managed to make it back to me and I am with Mac. . ." An ugly weight settled over his heart again, painfully crushing it. Ham had been though so much in his life and now it seemed like he was being tested even further. Worst of all, the emotions that he was feeling for Mac were running deeper than ever. He nearly lost her to another man. "How is it possible that I love two women?"

"Then you _do_ love Mac." The notion made Sturgis smile, especially considering the little secret that Mac let slip just a few weeks ago.

"I didn't say that. . .I care for her. I _want _her. But my heart will always belong to Katherine. . .Her blood flows through my veins, I can't deny that." Yet, it was hard to resist Mac's pull which was not unlike the feelings that Katherine had produced. In some ways, it was stronger, a living beast caged and waiting its release. "I wish I knew for sure. . .Wish I had some sort of sign."

Amazingly enough, at that very second, it was as if the gods had answered a prayer. A shrill cut through the air and Harm fished through his jeans pocket, retrieving a cell phone. "Mac?" He was pleasantly surprised to hear her voice on the line asking him over to her apartment. "This late? Okay. . .I'll be there in twenty." He shut the phone and slipped it back into his back pocket. Sturgis was studying him, he knew and raised a finger in warning. "Don't say it."

Sturgis grinned widely. "Not saying a word, but if I were you, I'd chew on some breath mints. Last thing you want is Mac smelling alcohol on your breath."

**2328 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

For once, Harm was on time. Of course, he didn't know that Mac had seen him drive up a good five minutes ago. She'd seen him from her kitchen window, hidden by the small curtain that prevented Harm from seeing her. He was nervous, almost as much as she was. This new discovery had eaten away at her insides to the point that most of her day had been a blur.

In the last few days Mac had hit the Internet hard looking for information on Harm's situation. _Vampire. _The word had brought up all sorts of queries from Bella Lugosi to Anne Rice_._ There were groups who role played and those who believed to be 'psychic' vampires, whatever that was. All of the information was mildly entertaining, but none of it would shed light on Harm's predicament.

To say that she wasn't afraid was an understatement, so beneath her clothes and at the small of her back, a 9mm lay hidden just in case. It was a safety precaution that Mac hoped she wouldn't have to employ. Maybe this had been a mistake? To have him show up at her apartment rather than some public place devoid of any connection to either of them. She needed to do this, though, to meet with him and set things straight.

Today had been exhausting, trying to avoid him every second of the day. She couldn't do that and wasn't about to make the dumb mistake of changing her billet because of him. If they had coexisted for so long without incident, then they could continue onward in the same fashion. Or she hoped. "Before you say anything, this isn't some friendly get together." Maybe it was a bit rude to gun the man down the moment she opened the door, but he needed to know the ground rules. It was, after all, her domain. "I asked you over because. . .you're right, we can't keep avoiding each other . . .But, I need to understand what I saw. . .Hi, by the way."

The look of shock slipped away, replaced with a genuine smile. Harm was happy to be there, no matter the reason. "Hey."

She smiled back and held the door for him to enter. He was holding a box of Krispy Kreme along with what smelled like two cups of hot chocolate. _Shit!_ Mac thought to herself. He was bringing in the heavy ammunition. She was a sucker for Krispy Kreme. "Just head towards the sofa."

He did as told, placing the donut box on the coffee table along with both of their drinks. The food was nothing more than just a stall tactic. If they were eating, it would give him a little more time to explain himself.

Explain himself?

The notion made Harm want to laugh. With the wealth of knowledge and the amount of years that he'd walked this Earth, he didn't _need_ to explain himself to a being that was inferior to him. And yet, for centuries, he'd wanted to be heard. He'd wanted to tell a mortal of his life without the fear that his secrets would be used against him. Harm was pleased to see his pictures on a pile at the corner of the coffee table.

Mac took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa and immediately cracked open the donut box. "Thanks. I love these."

"I know you do." He reached for a donut and took a big bite of the sugary goodness. "Mmmm. Freshly made." Harm said after washing the first bite down with a swig of hot chocolate.

The pair remained silent as they ate the confection. Silence stretched itself out, wrapping around them and strangling the air around. It was becoming difficult to breathe and support life and yet, neither of them knew where to start. As Harm reached for another, he found Mac staring at him with an odd expression. "What?"

She watched, waiting for Harm to take another bite of the donut. The act was perfectly normal and yet, it was astonishing to see him eat. "You eat normal food." It wasn't the most keen of observations – how many meals had they shared in the past? "I thought vampires only drank blood?"

_Here we go._ Harm braced himself. Surely she had a million questions and a million more when he gave her answers. This is what he always wanted, wasn't it? To have someone he could talk to, someone to understand without being perceived as weak by The Collective. "We can eat normal food. It gives us little nutrition, but I enjoy it anyway. Some of us chose to stop eating after a few hundred years and never touch mortal food ever again. . .We really only need the blood to survive. It's as essential as oxygen is to mortals."

Mac let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. The conversation was odd but not completely unpleasant considering the context. "How much blood do you drink a day?"

"Depends on the day. The more active I am, the more blood my body needs. . .Usually, three to four pints per day is enough."

_Three to four pints per day._ Mac mulled over that comment, her mind immediately searching out the image of Harm's fangs dug deep into his neighbor's throat. How many pints of blood did the body have again? 8? 9? If he was drinking three to four pints, would the person survive? "So you just find one of us and drain us dry?"

Harm frowned at the implication, although that's what he had done in the past, before blood banks were a regular part of society. "Sometimes we feed off of people, yeah. We take a little bit from various people until we'd had our fill. . .It's illegal to kill a anyone for blood. . .For the most part, we are now civilized and have our own blood reserves."

Mac nearly lost her appetite at the sudden gory thoughts going to her head. She had a vision of Harm paying off some shady looking gentleman in a lab coat as he handed over plastic bags of blood. "Your own?"

"My kind takes expired blood, adds some synthetic ingredients and we get shipments of it."

_We._ He'd used the word quite _a lot_ since the conversation had started. It made her curious as to how many of his kind moved around the world. Surely, there wouldn't be that many, or someone would have known. "How many vampires is 'we'?"

That was a question that he would never have an answer for. "I'm not sure. . . Vampires don't exactly have a Census Bureau. Many of our kind were killed during the various Inquisitions. . .The rest of us spent many years in hiding, hoping not to be persecuted."

Jesus Christ. The man had been alive during the Inquisition? The thought made Mac's mind whirl. "I was taught that the Inquisition had to do with heresy and religion?"

"Yes and no. For instance, when the Plague attacked Europe, its citizens began to worry and believed the disease was punishment from God. . .People were dropping dead in the streets." He frowned and shook his head in thought of how quickly mortals seemed to judge one another. There were some memories that he wished to erase permanently from his mind of the atrocities he'd witnessed through that particular time. "Seeing as we need mortals to live and conduct our business, some of the ones that our kind confided in became traitors for fear that God would punish them. . .As a result we were hunted down and forced to either move or live in hiding."

"Why do you keep calling us 'mortals' and not 'humans'?" The inferior way that he distinguished the two was rather unsettling. Or maybe she just wanted to believe that there wasn't such a gap between the two. "Are we that inferior to you?"

"I'm human, Mac." His answer was simple, but she didn't seem to believe him. Instead, she snorted and reached for another donut. "You don't believe me?"

Mac pinned him with a 'yeah right' kind of glare and licked the glaze off of two of her fingers. "You have fangs, drink blood and can probably kill me just by twitching your pinky. . .Sorry if I don't believe that you're human."

Harm wasn't amused by her sass and the easy way she cast his humanity aside. "I _am_ human." But she didn't seem to hear him, instead, Mac was busy licking the rest of the glaze off of her fingers. The sight brought a tightening to his groin and he forced himself to look away. "I don't age or die, therefore, I am immortal. . . But, we are both human." He had human traits, as did every single vampire that he'd ever met and that would never change. As much as evolution had warped their bodies, the human element was still there.

"I believe you." There was an honesty to her words as she searched the recess of her mind and found all of his human behavior. Harm was very much human, with a slight illness. . .no, that wasn't the right word. . .advantage. "What about children?" Mac asked suddenly as the question popped into her mind. Could vampires have little vamps? The idea seemed a bit odd until she remembered that he'd once promised her a child.

"What about them?"

Mac couldn't help the desperation that suddenly ran through her. She had a feeling that his answer would shatter something that she'd found herself holding on to. Taking a breath she chose to ask the question differently, "Can _you_ have children?"

The question was asked so quiet and tentatively that he had some difficulty hearing her. But Harm _did_ hear and felt a sharp pain where his heart was. "No. We can't." Swallowing hard, he promptly launched into an explication, hoping it would deter the memories of a promise made long ago. "It's the virus. . .It attacks abnormalities in the body." Although the latter part was true, many immortals had children. For him and Katherine, it just never seemed to happen.

Mac's head snapped towards him, anger flaming in her eyes. "A baby is _not_ an abnormality." She hissed at him, feeling hurt that he would just cast such a thing aside. It revolted her.

Harm shook his head. "No, they aren't. . .Children are precious and beautiful and innocent. . .But my body doesn't see it that way."

"You lied to me." She spat out. "You lied to me when I was at my most vulnerable."

He had lied, but only to protect her, to make her feel better after the loss that she had been feeling. "Mac, I didn't mean to hurt you. . .When the ambulance took the Roberts' away. . .I said what I said to make you feel better."

"You gave me false hope, Harm." At that, she stood and walked around the sofa and towards the balcony. The moon had nearly risen to its apex and it shone on her through the French doors. "You've lied to me about a lot of things, haven't you?"

Had he? In his mind, he'd omitted a thing or two and omissions were not lies. Besides, it was what he was trained to do – hide the truth and protect the innocent. Mac was innocent and, just like every mortal, was better off believing that beings like him were birthed in Hollywood. "There were a few things that I couldn't tell you. . .You wouldn't have understood."

Mac shook her head. She resisted the urge to throttle him, but only because she knew he would be stronger. Almost out of the blue, lightening crackled through the sky, the sight giving her an unpleasant memory. What other lies had he told her? What other things had he made her believe? "The night before my wedding to Mic. . .The crash. It wouldn't have killed you, wouldn't it?" His hesitation in answering was enough for her.

In anger, she threw her hands up and then headed around to him. "Do you know how much I cried?" She said between gritted teeth. "I would have given anything. . .anything to be out there with you so that you wouldn't be alone." Her body shivered as her temper flared. Dear God, she'd worried so much and all over a man who would have survived anyway. "I thought we would lose you. . .Do you understand what that feels like? Do you know what it's like to pray and pray and pray and pray and not hear anything? It destroyed me!" She slapped him hard and immediately stepped back a bit, fearing his reaction.

Harm stood, squaring his shoulders. "I could have been hurt badly, Mac. . .I didn't have blood and if the sun would have risen, it would have slowly killed me." He came around to her, sidestepping the coffee table. "And I did lose my memory." And he had really given the crew on the carrier a scare as his body, in efforts to heal, sent him into a dead sleep.

Mac shook her head. She didn't want to hear this now, didn't want to believe him. His answers were too easily dismissive and convenient, as if he had rehearsed them. "All you've done is lie and take me away from a man who loved me so much."

"You mean a man that you _never really_ loved."

She would have slapped him again if her hand wasn't hurting from the first one. "You son of a bitch! I _did_ love Mic. . .I cared for him very much."

"And yet you couldn't resist kissing me back that night on the porch." This time she did slap him and Harm grabbed her hand roughly to make sure she didn't try that again. "Stop doing that, Mac." As usual, the touch sent an electric current rushing through the both of them and Harm had to drop her hand before that current wound its way to his heart. He'd forgotten how much her touches affected him, a fact that he had ignored time and time again. He couldn't have her and wouldn't use her attraction of him to alleviate his savage hunger. "I'm sorry that things are so convoluted now. I never wanted to hurt you."

"And yet you did a great job of it anyway." Mac backed her way to the door, undid the locks and swung it open. "I need you to leave."

Although he wanted to argue, Harm didn't see the point. At the very least, she didn't seem disgusted by what he was. That was progress in itself. The sadness in her eyes, that was the one thing that he couldn't seem to shake. He caught an image then, only because she'd projected it mentally. It was a scene, almost like a movie, of the two of them together, kissing. He could feel the pain Mac was feeling and realized that it didn't have to do with the lies but more with the fact that she'd given up on Mic in order to be with him. Perhaps he shouldn't have deceived her then, shouldn't have asked her to come to him because 'she knew the reason.' He should have never kissed her either, not on the porch and certainly not during Christmas, despite traditions. "I can't make you happy, Mac. . . I can be your friend, but we can't be more than that."

Mac slammed the door once he crossed the threshold, choosing to ignore his final words. Leaning against the door, she vowed not to cry for him again, for them. There was no future there. A pesky tear ran down her cheek anyway.


	5. The Nightside of Eden pt 1

Hey Gang!

Thanks for your patience. ;) Or lack their of. I've been busy, V's been busy. The Good news is that I am about half a chapter away from finishing this one and starting on story 2 if it draws interest. Even if it doesn't, I'll probably post it anyway.

Okay, so in this chappie you start to learn a few things about Harm and his past and how he came to be. Well, sorta. It's a two parter and I'll stick up the second half on Friday. I keep having to make a few adjustments.

More things will be explained, I promise. But I didn't want to bombard you guys with info in every chapter.

Now, I tried to research some things. but, being how old Harm and is and the fact that I am slightly lazy in the research department - all geographical mistakes (including the historical acuracies to people's names) are mine. It's a story, just go with the flow. Thanks. ;)

Enjoy,

Jackie

**Chapter 5 – The Nightside of Eden pt 1**

"**In the nightside of eden  
We're born again  
Dead  
Forever we are  
Forever we've been  
Forever we'll be crucified to a dream" – H.I.M. "Nightside of Eden."**

**Next Morning.  
****0708 Local  
****Harm's Apartment  
****North Of Union Station**

"Last night, you used the word virus." The previous evening's events only perpetuated Mac's nights of insomnia. She spent half of it tossing and turning and trying not to _think_ about Harm. It was easier said than done and, at around six am, she jumped out of bed with renewed determination. She wanted to understand _everything_ and maybe not be so quit to judge. Hadn't she been the one that wanted to start at the beginning?

Harm glanced wearily at her. Dear Lord, it was seven am on a Saturday, did the woman _never_ sleep? He sure as hell hadn't. Much like Mac, Harm had been up half of the night pondering how to better their situation. "Huh?"

Mac's urge to smack him eased considerably as she took in the sight before her. Hair sticking up in awkward angles, eyes hooded and an expression like that of someone who hadn't slept in months. Her gaze traveled downward, though, to his chest and its muscular figure. She'd seen him topless before, but never quite had it in her to look so unabashed. Now, she was looking and didn't stop until her eyes locked on his white boxer shorts and the prize that lay covered inside.

The clearing of his throat brought Mac's eyes back up to his and a soft tint covered her cheeks. "I didn't mean to wake you. . .Coffee?" She held up two paper bags, one carrying bagels and the other coffee.

Grumbling something about women and bad timing, Harm left the door open for her to enter as he moved slowly towards his bedroom. Mac was half afraid that he'd just go back to bed but instead heard the shower start to run. Harm had always been grumpy when he first woke up, something that she stayed clear of when they were sent on investigations together.

When he'd finished, Harm joined her, wearing faded blue jeans and a black Harley Davidson T-shirt. "What did you ask me?" He questioned, taking the top off of the cup of coffee that she'd settled before him.

"Good morning." She smiled and then reached across to flatten a few strands of rebellious hair.

Harm snorted, "Good my ass."

She wanted to tease him for the comment, possibly say something about just how good his ass really was. Instead, she hit him with her query. "Virus. . .You used the word virus. Why?"

Ah, that. While not exactly the best description, it was the only thing that most people seemed to understand. The virus bit wasn't particularly easy to explain nor was he in the frame of mind to get into all of the scientific humming and hawing that was his race. To Harm, it had always seemed as if they were God's science project gone wrong. Yet, like all of God's creatures, they still deserved a place on this Earth. "None of our kind know where it came from. . .But our scientists have confirmed that the condition is like a virus which attacks normal cells preventing them from damage."

"Can't something cure the virus?"

Harm shook his head. "No. The virus is too smart. When something is sent into our bodies to try and stop the virus, it duplicates and attacks. We can't get rid of it. . .It's much too strong and has even gone as far as transforming our evolution so that hunting for blood and drinking it becomes relatively easy. . . The only catch is that we have to constantly drink blood or the virus will it's starving and attack any and all cells in our body, killing us." Unwrapping the item in front of him, Harm grinned when he found a sun dried tomato with veggie cream cheese. "Ooooh, I love these."

"Is the virus the reason why you don't eat meat?" There had to be a reason why a predator, such as Harm, disliked meat as much as he did. "Or is it a personal choice?"

"Red meat reminds me too much of blood. . .So I avoid it to not crave blood so much. As for junk food. . ." He paused for a moment and took a bit of the bagel which he washed down with some coffee. ". . .it isn't healthy and requires me to drink more blood to fix the damage it does to my body . .You'll find that most of us who still eat tend to have a healthier diet."

Mac nodded in understanding. All of that seemed to make sense. "I guess I can stop making fun of your stickboy diet . . Of course, _you_ could stop making fun of my occasional, junk food diet." She smiled at him, that cute smile that gave Harm hope that everything would be alright. While undoubtedly confused, Mac was alright with this predicament, or, at the very least, was trying to be. He couldn't hope for more.

"You _can_ walk in the sun, right? You didn't just put that in my head?" She asked and then finished polishing off the rest of her bagel.

"I can, yeah. All of us have the ability to tolerate sunlight, some can do it more than others. I happen to have been passed on a gene that helps me. When I turned Sturgis so that he wouldn't die, he received the same gene which makes it easier for him to handle the sun."

Mac stared at him as if he'd grown two heads. "Sturgis?" It really shouldn't have surprised her. The two were as thick as thieves half of the time.

"Yeah, Sturgis. . .C'mon, its more comfortable on the sofa." He motioned for her to follow and settled in comfortably on his oversized armchair. Harm diligently answering Mac's questions and even providing a few tidbits that she wouldn't think to ask. He brought up Sturgis and how they had met nearly two centuries ago. Sturgis had been hunted by mortals and Harm had saved him from a painful death.

"Where are you from originally?"

Harm chuckled. "I was wondering when you'd ask that." _This is good._ He thought and couldn't help but compare Mac's reaction to Diane's. The initial shock had been similar, though Diane hadn't pulled a gun out on him, she merely called him a monster and ran off. Diane never gave him a chance to explain and it shamed Harm to think that Mac would act the same. She was different, much different and he knew it though preferred not to admit it. "I was born in Ireland in 1222."

Now that wasn't something that Mac was prepared for. Yes, she knew he was _older_, weren't all vampires? But she never quite fathomed that he was _that_ old. The revelation shocked her so badly, that she fell off of the very edge of the sofa. "Oww."

"Mac?" Harm came to his feet, offering a hand to stand her up. He had the audacity to laugh. "You okay?"

"Laugh it off. That'll save you from my Marine wrath." She rubbed a sore spot on her back side and turned up to stare at him."I didn't quite expect you to be _that_ old."

The laughter slipped away into a mere smile as he took her hand and pulled Mac up. She tried to move away, not ready for him to be so close to her, not yet anyway. His strength, overwhelming and unyielding held her still.

They stared at eachother and the deluge of emotions swept over. After that damned kiss at her engagement party, Harm found himself wanting to kiss her every time that she was near. His gaze fell on her lips as her tongue slipped out to moisten them. "Harm." Her warning tone made him step away. Though he sensed her fear, he smiled and motioned towards the door. "What?"

"Why don't we head out of here? The weather's should be nice. . .We can take a drive over to Georgetown and just walk around." His eyes held her own captive in a silent conversation that was forcing Mac to be swayed. She was still scared of the unfamiliar world that he'd thrust her into, but instinct told her that she had nothing to fear. Was this the reason that they never worked out? Was was afraid of telling her the truth about his condition and having her turn away? Well, she wasn't about to turn away now but a little distance at a public and neutral setting would make this transition easier. "Sounds good."

"You don't have an accent anymore." Mac stated once they arrived at the opposite end of a crosswalk. They had taken her Corvette to Georgetown and had walked the historical streets as they'd done in the past when things weren't as complicated. "You said you were born in Ireland but you have no accent."

Harm shrugged. "It disappeared. I spent a lot of centuries away from home." Stopping abruptly, Harm pointed to the right where a store was advertising the Chesapeake and Ohio canal boat rides. "Ever toured the canal?"

"No. Like most people, I haven't done the touristy thing in my own town."

"Up for it?"

"Sure." Tugging at his sleeve, she maneuvered him in the direction of the canals, chuckling that a vampire still wasn't very good with directions. "Rabb isn't an Irish last name, is it?"

"My real last name is O'Rabhartaigh. . . I've changed my last name throughout the centuries but have tried to keep something that sounded like it. In the 1700s there was an influx of Rabb's coming to North America, so it's made it easier for me to keep the name. . . But, I am Irish, through and through."

They came to the entrance to the boat tours and while not congested, there were a few people waiting to board. "We're not going to be able to continue this conversation on the boat, are we?" Mac motioned towards the boat launch and the small group at the launch.

That arrogant, self-assured grin was his response. "Ye of little faith." Patiently, Harm waited for the first boat to leave. Once the second docked, he sent a mental 'push' to the captain's mind, a suggestion to not let anyone but he and Mac on. "C'mon." Gingerly, Harm took Mac's hand, guiding her across the dock and into the boat.

Before anyone else could board, the captain locked a small gate and then headed towards the engines in a zombie like manner. "What did you do?" Mac followed Harm who took a seat at the end. "How did you do that?"

"We have the ability to read and control minds. Some of us are better than others." He sensed her shift slightly away, her body becoming rigid with tension. "I've never controlled you, Mac. . .And, in case your crazy mind goes there – no, I've never changed the outcome of any case. I've never controlled a client or a witness or a juror."

Mac wished that would ease her sudden tension but it didn't. Just the fact that he could do such things was disturbing. What's to stop him from manipulating her or anything else around him? "I don't know how to respond to that." Dear God, did he ever zero in on her more lust filled thoughts of him?

"Just trust me. . .I know I've kept things from you and trust is probably kinda difficult right now but I won't lie to you anymore, Mac." He reached for her hand, surprised that she didn't pull away. He wouldn't like but would bend the truth if needed.

Sighing deeply, Mac placed a hand over their joined ones. "Okay, hotshot, if you can read minds, what am I thinking right now?"

He should have figured Mac would have asked. The answer was still a difficult pill to swallow. "Honestly, I can't read your mind."

Characteristically, Mac's eyebrow drifted upwards, a look that often fascinated him. "Why am I so special?"

Deep inside he knew the answer although Harm was unwilling to allow himself to believe it. An immortal's life was seldom so cut and dry. "I happen to think that it has to do with that little metaphysical ability you have." He lied, knowing full well that Sturgis could read and control Mac like a puppet. So much for not lying to her.

"How did you become and immortal?" The million dollar question – the one everyone wanted to ask but few did. Harm considered that, perhaps, people really didn't want an answer. "Let me guess, it involves a woman." She nudged him playfully.

Harm couldn't help the deep rumble of laughter. Mac was good and always would be when it came to him. "Yes, it involves a woman." Not just any woman, Katherine Burel was incredible – his savior from a death he was sure to succumb to. He'd loved her, truly loved her with everything that he was. Nothing could ever change that; Harm feared that nothing ever would. "I was born sick. I'm not sure what it was, back then there weren't ways to diagnose things. The town doctor said I wouldn't live to be a year old but I did."

"Back then you did farm work at an early age. I was so sick that I couldn't help around the farm. Every little thing I did left me tired. . .winded. I couldn't even go to school. Just walking into town, I would have these attacks. I guess it was kind of like asthma. So, my father's sister who was a teacher, worked with me. Dad always believed that a man needed to be knowledgeable."

Quietly, Mac sat next to him, listening intently to each detail and unable to prevent herself from conjuring up images of Harm as a child. She wanted to ask him about his current family, Harm senior, Trish and Frank but figured that was a conversation for a different time. "Sounds like a good dad."

Harm shrugged. His father _had_ been a good man, a farmer and somewhat of a town handyman, a real jack of all trades. Still, with all of his popularity, Iollan O'Rabhartaigh failed when his son needed him most. "A good father wouldn't kill himself when his son is only eleven years old." Throughout the centuries, Harm had become desensitized to certain memories and emotions but some still affected him. This was one thing he could never let go of.

He felt Mac's hand on his own, squeezing gently as if she knew he needed that comfort. "I'm sorry. I'm sure he didn't mean to leave you behind."

"He didn't. . .He just couldn't deal with the grief after my mother died during childbirth. Both she and my baby sister died. . .He lost the will to live, I guess. . . His sister, Nora, wound up raising me with her husband. They moved into my home, helped me take care of the farm."

"I _was_ happy with them, but it wasn't the same not having your real parents. And I was still very sick . . . never could recover from whatever it was that I had. . .When I was in my late 20s, Aunt Nora decided that I needed a wife, someone to take care of me when she died. She also believed that I needed an heir or else our government would get the land. . .So, she found a girl for me, Liadan, the daughter of the town tailor. . . I wasn't in love with her and though I came to care for her. . .I never, I was never in love with her. She knew that but, like most wives from those times, knew it was her curse to stay with me."

"We wound up having a boy, Aiden." Harm smiled. It was perhaps the only good memory he had of the time until Katherine found him. "He was a good boy, healthy. When he got older, he would help out on the farm. . .Spitting image of me."

There was a reason why Mac always felt he'd make a good father. Just watching Harm with little AJ was enough proof but now she understood why it was so easy for him to relate to children. "I can imagine you with a little boy. I bet you were a great daddy."

"Aiden had everything I could give him. . .That was the part of all of this that hurt the most. . .While I didn't kill myself, I had to leave him behind." It wasn't just leaving the child behind, it was forgetting. For the most part, Harm had to forget that he had a child and disappear in order to keep him safe. He sighed deeply and stared down at his hands. "It all started when I had to go to another town. . .Locusts had attacked our crops and we needed extra to survive. . . I went with Li's brother, Connor and we stayed at an inn. I'd never been to a town bigger than the one we lived at. Never went into a pub. To me, it was incredible." The scent of stale beer comingled with moisture inside of a dark environment. Even to this day, he could remember every second of that moment.

"Connor got drunk. . ._very_ drunk and I wound up having to take him to our room. I became bored and decided to head back." Typical of taverns during that particular period in time, the place was dark, lit sparingly with candles and oil lamps giving an eerie glow to the stone bricks that made up the walls of the tavern. Wooden tables were scattered around the small space and Harm had chosen a dark corner to sit at. Not being accustomed to dealing with so many people, the rowdy patrons frightened him, though he tried to hide it behind the pint of ale he was trying to drink.

He found a barmaid that seemed to have a little more than a keen interest in him and responded back with a full smile. "Can I get you something else, luv?" Harm shook his head, whatever she was offering, he just didn't want. "Suit yourself."

At once, something caught his attention and he found the throng of men parting as a woman, dressed in deep blue walked between them. The dress hugged her waist, and showed off the swell of her breast, risqué for the women of her times but it was clear that she wasn't a barmaid, but rather someone who demanded respect. Most women would dread to be in such a location with so many unruly men, but she was confident and unwavering. They gawked at her, remaining frozen as she strolled passed and towards Harm.


	6. The Nightside Of Eden Pt 2

This chapter is going to go back and forth between the past and "the present" and you'll learn how Harm was turned. There are still missing peices. I know A LOT of people wanna know about Trish and Harm Sr. That will come up in a few chapters. I am adding to them in order to fit those peices in semi-seamlessly. ;) So here we go!

Jackie

**Chapter 6 – The Nightside Of Eden Part 2.**

**The Laughing Lady Tavern  
****Ireland, 1254 AD  
**

"May I?" The mysterious woman pointed at the seat next to him, her soft voice warming him from deep inside. He felt his heart lurch and almost stop before banging hard against his chest. She was absolutely stunning and exotic with olive colored skin, long brown hair and eyes the color of caramel and chocolate.

Harm licked his lips and swallowed down the lump suddenly prevalent at his throat. "Please." She had moved almost as if floating across the stones beneath her feet and slipped to the seat next to him, the fabric of her dress caressing his leg. She didn't dress like the women of their time. She was brazen, wild and utterly captivating. _"Love at first sight." _Harm told Mac with a half smile; the love still shining in his eyes as he recounted the tale of the siren which had claimed his heart.

"You are not from here." The mystery woman stated with a secret smile. She then waved the barmaid over and took a silver goblet with red liquid, then motioned to Harm. "Please bring him another."

Watching her with fascination, he quickly snapped out of the trance. "No. I don't have enough money for another." Harm's voice suddenly came back to him and his brain began to function once again. What was happening to him? Why was he gawking at a total stranger?

The mystery woman simply chuckled and motioned for the barmaid to retrieve his drink. "I own this place, Harmon. You don't owe me a thing." Her eyes softened as they locked on his and danced alive with fires of passion. She slipped her hand over his and squeezed gently. While she was always used to getting what she wanted, this time, Katherine knew it would be difficult. She'd never experienced the raw emotions that were being channeled between her and Harm. It was exhilarating and painful all at once.

"How do you know my name?" Harm sat back, utterly shocked that anyone here knew of him. He wasn't an especially popular individual in their town, mostly seen as a weakling. In this town, he was a total stranger. Still, there had to be an account for the odd feelings that befell him. Damnit, did he want to kiss her. Lacking the confidence that most men his age had, Harm wasn't the type to stare at women so unabashed or have such impure thoughts. He was married man, for Christ's sake! "Do I know you?. . . What's your name?"

"Katherine. . . And I know much about you, Harmon." As much as she was able to read off of his brother-in-law's mind when they first stepped into the tavern. Once he stepped inside, automatically, she knew that her lifelong search was over. A great deal of sadness befell her when she realized that he was dying a slow death. Katherine could smell the disease in his blood and chose to read Connor's mind in order to get to the bottom of things.

His almost immediate and insatiable attraction was truly disconcerting. His wife, too, was attractive but he'd never had such a desire to kiss and make love to her. Not with the passion that he was feeling for Katherine. It was almost too hard to resist and so knew that it was frightening.

"Why do I feel like I know you?" He asked as the scent of her drew him in. Katherine leaned closer, allowing him to breathe her in more deeply. Women in his town were never so forward with him. In fact, he was fairly sure that they all pitied him for the weakness he was born with. It was only because of his aunt that he'd managed to marry only to produce a child to take care of the farm when he would pass away.

"You were made for me." She whispered into his ear, her lips lingering slightly in an action that made him shiver. "It was fate that brought you here." While most immortals did not believe in fate, there was that silver lining, the meeting between two immortals that was so happenstance that some accredited it to fate.

Taught to be an honorable man, Harm wrestled between desire and reason. He was a married man and had once made a promise to honor his wife. Yet, there was no love between the two of them, only a sense of duty. "I'm married."

"And I'm currently involved with a married man." She smiled shyly at him, almost as if she were embarrassed at the revelation. The truth was that Katherine had grown tired of waiting for him. Centuries had passed and she decided to settle on a man that made her happy. Unfortunately, she could read his thoughts like a book and though he spent most of his nights with her, the man was still married to someone else. "I am not meant to be with him. . .You aren't meant to be with her." It was a constant battle to fight her natural drive to read minds and her lover often fell victim to that gift.

"_Somehow she convinced me to see her home."_

Mac grinned, ever the gentleman he was, though she figured he had an ulterior motive at that time. _"I don't think you needed too much convincing."_

Harm chuckled. _"Not much, no."_ The walk to Katherine's home had been rather pleasant. It was awkward for him to be so talkative with a woman, something he'd had so many problems with back home. Walking side by side, her hand would occasionally brush his and bring to life feelings Harm never knew existed.

One more touch, as Katherine tripped over a stepping stone, and Harm was unglued. He found the courage and was bold enough to kiss her. "I want to make love to you." Words he was sure would never be uttered to anyone came out of his mouth. It sounded so unlike him and yet, this was him – the man he was supposed to be.

Their lovemaking was powerful, earth shattering and magical. For a man that had only ever been with one woman, it was surprising that he knew how and where Katherine liked to be touched. It was almost as if they'd been lovers for centuries. "_My brother in law, came looking for me the next day. . .But, I just didn't want to go home. . .So, Katherine, she made him believe that I needed to stay and negotiate the trade. . .Connor went back and I stayed. . .I stayed for almost three months."_

Their first time together had been normal; human. The second time, Harm felt her fangs slide into his neck, followed by such an intense feeling of pleasure that he was sure his weakness would kill him. _"It was the most intense thing I ever felt."_

Past mortal lovers had always feared Katherine's nature, especially when it came to the art of vampire lovemaking which usually climaxed with her teeth piercing their skin. Katherine's lovers had never quite grown used to the feeling and many times she needed to wash their memories clean of the incident.. Harm craved the pain and the pleasure, giving in willingly and taking just as willingly.

He never questioned any of it until the night that she almost killed him.

Alarmed, Katherine had fed him her blood, hoping that it would save Harm but not turn him. She had yet to gain permission from the council in order to create another immortal – rule that they upheld for centuries. Hours later, Harm lay in her bed, slightly dazed but full with questions he never bothered asking until then, "We've spent many nights together and I never question what it is that you do to me. . .But, I need to know. . . what are you?" He knew she was different and that those differences seemed to have a profound effect on him. "You've given me your blood. Does this mean that I am what you are?"

Katherine sat at the edge of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her body slipping down her back. Harm ran a hand down her spine, eliciting a soft moan that caught his breath. "Tell me."

With a heavy heart she told him about their kind – immortals, vampires, beings that were as old as time. "I was born in Persia over one thousand years ago."

The notion would have seemed absurd had he not witnessed the changes in her. Katherine was also knowledgeable, too knowledgeable for the women of their time.. "One thousand?. .. How can that be?"

She turned to him, disappointed that he didn't just accept her rather that question her age. "You don't believe me."

"I do, Katherine. . .I have to. There are things about you that don't exist with the women of our time. . ..I believe, but I don't understand how it can happen. . .Were you cursed?"

Katherine chuckled. In some ways, it was like a curse, having to live on without the hopes of ever finding peace. "I was born this way, immortal."

Harm didn't care what she was or how many years she'd lived on earth. All that he cared was that she was meant to be with him, the fibers of their beings were created for one another. He knew that to be true though it was impossible to explain. Everything made sense when she was around. Without Katherine, it was like the other part of his soul was missing. "Make me what you are." He pleaded, "I want to spend all of my life with you."

Reaching to touch her eyes, Katherine found tears, something she hadn't shed in close to five hundred years. She loved him more than any other and felt that impenetrable bond that nothing could break. She loved him and because she did, Katherine knew it was time to let him go. "You have a wife. A child. I can't take you away from them. I've already kept you away for too long for my own selfish reasons. . .It's the same reason I kept my former lover from coming home. . .I didn't want him to discover us."

"I don't ca. . ." His words trailed off, managing to cut Harm from saying the one thing that wasn't true. While his relationship with his wife was a mistake, their child was not. Aiden needed a father and he wasn't about to leave him fatherless. "I love my son." Harm tightened his jaw(,) realizing that she'd been correct in keeping him away from his family. He'd forgotten about his son. "I love you, Katherine. I don't want to leave." As much as he loved Katherine, this wasn't the time for them. "At some point my son won't need me. . .When my son is older, come to me. Please. . .Katherine, I will wait an eternity for you."

Katherine's body trembled from the emotions welling deep inside. She didn't want to lose just when she'd found him, but it was the right thing to do. She'd destroyed so many lives, killed because she could. It was time to right the wrongs in her life for his sake. "That's how long we may have to wait." She said under her breath and then turned to face Harm. "I'll come for you. Just promise me you'll wait."

"I will." He swore and sealed the promise with a soft kiss. That night he made sweet love to Katherine, forever branding her soul. When he awoke the next morning, Katherine was gone. . .

Neither Harm nor Mac had realized that they'd been talking for over an hour and that their boat trip was over. "C'mon, let's stroll down the bank and find a nice place to eat. My stomach is talking to me." She nudged him slightly, getting him back into the swing of things after the emotional tale that he'd woven.

Reluctantly he followed, feeling the exhaustion draining him from the soul out. Memories of Katherine were always difficult for him, as were the memories of how he came to be – the only part of the story that was missing. He pressed his hand to the small of Mac's back, needing the comfort he could only find with her. Yet, those touches, as mundane as they were, sent his emotions reeling.

It was happening again to him, falling for a woman that wasn't supposed to be his. This was what Katherine felt, he knew – the excruciating pain of falling for someone and having to let them go. He'd let Mac go twice and she wound up coming back to him. Wasn't that a sign? Still, he couldn't let go of Katherine's words asking him to wait. Nor could he take Mac's mortality away and force her to live a life of danger, much like his own. He had also turned Sturgis and while there wasn't some gene that stopped him from turning another, The Collective was tightening their hold on how many immortals one could create. With all of the horrific things he'd done in his past, it was likely that the council would kill him and Mac if he turned her.

"I did go back home." He stated out of the blue, almost startling Mac whose mind was still churning from his tale. Harm laughed without feeling and his mood, if possible, turned more somber than before. "And when I got there. . .It was almost as if hell had broken lose. . .Li was pregnant when I left and had gone into labor while I was away. She died, so did our daughter." He cleared his throat and brushed off a solitary tear that slipped from his eye. "I didn't love her, but I didn't want her to die either. . .From that time on, I became obsessed with our land. . .Katherine's blood did something to me. It almost erased the disease, made me stronger, powerful. I was finally able to take care of the land on my own."

"She didn't come to me, but I could feel her. I could feel her watching over us." But there was one time that she hadn't been watching. An immortal elder had needed her assistance with a rogue vampire and she needed to leave, praying to God that Harm would be taken care of. When Katherine came back, all she found was a fresh grave and the man that she loved buried deep inside the ground.

Mac's breath caught in her throat. "Oh God." He'd been buried alive, forced to die in one of the most traumatizing ways. She couldn't imagine going through that and feared for the amount of damage that the situation caused Harm. "Who did that to you?"

"Li's brother, Connor." The man had blind sided him, using a shovel to bash Harm over the head until he'd been rendered unconscious. Knowing that Harm was still alive, Connor had stuffed him in a wooden box and, with the town's approval, had him buried in the village cemetery. "I found out later that Connor told our town that I'd died due to my illness." He snorted at the thought(,) recalling how good he'd been feeling during that time. Katherine's blood had rejuvenated him. "Before I blacked out, I remember Connor standing above me. He said he knew about the _'other woman'_ that I'd left his sister for. I would pay for the infidelity . . .He told me not to worry about Aiden. . .Thankfully, Katherine found me."

When Katherine found the grave, she came to her knees, using preternatural strength to dig through mud as rain pelted her. Once found, she pulled Harm out and leaned her head over his chest. He was breathing was labored, heart barely beating. She was losing him. Katherine knew the consequences of turning another but she hardly had time to contact the council or even ask Harm for his permission, which needed to be given at that specific time.

Being one of the oldest members of The Collective and daughter of the founder, Katherine knew the rules and yet, she couldn't help herself. Survival for her was becoming a grim reality without someone to share the night with. She needed Harm, loved him more than any other lover that had come before. He was her soulmate, the other part of her heart. He completed her.

Biting hard, she pierced the carotid artery, and felt the blood splatter into her mouth. Katherine drank deeply, draining him almost completely of the life giving essence. She could still taste the disease in his veins. As before, she could see his memories, sense his immeasurable feelings for her. This was right. This was just. He would forgive her for the change.

As she felt him start to slip away, Katherine bit into her wrist and dripped blood into Harm's mouth. The only thing left was his mortal death, an excruciatingly painful experience that he'd remember for the rest of his life. "The change is painful and the one part of my life that I wish I could forget. . .After that she took me away, hid my body from the sun and the elements until I was well enough. . .I never went back home. . .I couldn't for fear that, being so new, I would attack someone in my family." He frowned at that, recalling a time when the blood lust had cause him to murder a mortal. "From time to time I watched over my son. He married a beautiful woman and they had three children together."

"What happened to Katherine?"

Harm knew it was a natural question to ask, especially since Mac knew he was single. "She died four hundred years ago. . .I don't want to talk about it."

Despite her curiosity, Mac honored his wish and opted to change the subject to something not as heavy. "Any silly things I can ream Sturgis over? I need all the help I can get."

"Oh, there are a few things that will rattle his chains." Thankful for the emotional reprieve, Harm steered them back towards M street and down the streets lined with restaurants and shops. "What are you in the mood for?"

Mac glanced around the area, noting a nice Chinese restaurant close to M street. "Express has some good Chinese if you're up for it."

"Chinese it is." He followed her to their destination, a great deal of weight off of his shoulders.

**One Day Later**

**1020 Local**

**Starbuck's**

**Washington, DC**

"O'Rabhartaigh." Harm had not heard his last name in centuries, it was just not in immortal believes to hold on to the past. They tended to concentrate on the future, choosing to call their members by current names. "O'Rabhartaigh!" That voice. _That _voice specifically was one that Harm dreaded. It stopped him dead in his tracks and he felt that innate sense of dread that usually welled up when dealing with enemies.

He turned to find a dark haired man, almost as attractive as himself, standing next to Mac who Harm had bumped into while running at Rock Creek Park. They'd decided on breakfast together in hopes of continuing their talk from the day before. Anger raged inside of Harm(,) as did the fear of that man hurting Mac. "Kale. . .What are you doing here?" His words were clipped, his voice almost menacing. He fought the urge to extend his teeth and lunge for the man's jugular.

The man's typical, malevolent grin spread wide as his eyes fastened on Mac. He'd been watching her for weeks now, curious as to who the woman was and why she looked so much like someone who shared a past with him and Harm. "Mmmm. I see the fates have been kinder to you." Politely, he reached out and kissed the back of Mac's hand. "Kale Donnelly. And you are?"

"Sarah Mac. ." She trailed off as Harm shoved his body between the two of them, leveling Mac with an almost frightening glare.

"Mac, could you grab us a place to sit? I'll be there in a sec." He was surprised when she complied and waited for her to be at a safe distance before facing Kale. "You know damned well you are not supposed to come anywhere near me." He growled and his eyes glowed red from anger. Kale's presence was not a good omen, especially considering Mac's likeness to Katherine.

Kale shrugged; unimpressed by any rules or regulations that The Collective had placed between the two of them. "I never followed the rules; did you expect me to start now?" Unable to keep his eyes off of Mac, his gaze followed her every move. He was fascinated that she would even exist. "Does the poor girl even know what she's getting herself into?" He moved close then, so that he was speaking directly into Harm's ear. "Does she know what evil things you've done?"

If it were possible for the blood to suddenly boil in his veins, Harm's body would self combust. He felt the animal raging inside, dying for release from the cage it was locked into. "Leave her out of it. . .The Collective may have set that stupid rule between us but it doesn't mean I can't kill you."

"They should have never let you live. . .Murderer."

Harm snorted and shook his head. Yes, he had taken lives without much mercy, but what Kale's family had done was much, much worse. "Your family is the_ real_ group of murderers. . .Your father just couldn't stand the fact that Katherine was meant to be with me. _Me, _not him. What he did to her is unforgiveable."

Having an affair with Kale's father, Garron had been Katherine's biggest mistake. Desperation and loneliness at waiting for her soulmate had made her weak. She never would have considered that Garron would retaliate. He was devastated to find that Katherine wanted to move on without him. The only reason he let her go was because she planted that thought in his mind.

Without someone to teach him the rules of immortal life, Garron eventually murdered his wife and two female children in the rage of blood lust. His inability to cope with jealousy, combined with the utter rage which stemmed from the beast inside, forced him to make Katherine and Harm his targets. The hatred, bitter and unrelenting, eventually made him turn rogue, poisoning his own blood. It didn't help that another rogue, nearly as powerful as Katherine herself, had befriended Garron and opted to teach him the benefits of patience.

From that time on Garron took great care in his plans, opting to let his three male children survive to be an older age before he brought them across. Kale hadn't wanted the change but his father's constant rage had sullied all that was good in him. Willingly, at the age of 29, he gave in. "Katherine destroyed my family. Someone had to destroy her."

Death, especially for immortals, was unpredictable, but the one thing that Harm could never quite understand was how Katherine's own father, the leader of The Collective, would allow his daughter to be killed so savagely without avenging her death."She was innocent."

Kale chuckled. "Innocent? Katherine? Do you know how many people she killed in her life?"

"I knew everything about her. . .She turned your father because they made eachother happy. Katherine never thought I'd come into her life. It was a mistake to turn him, I won't deny that. . ."

"Rules are rules, Harm. She created two immortals. . .That's illegal, is it not?" It was illegal. Immortals were only allowed to create one other immortal. Such a privilege was usually saved for one's life mate if they so happened to be a mortal. Katherine _had_ tried to wait for him but succumbed like so many others had. Not everyone found their lifemate and those who didn't choose to live with someone else or risk loneliness.

Creating more than one immortal was punishable by death. A rule created only to stop the race from overpopulating the mortals. Rules could be bent when dealing with an extreme case as a lifemate, the person who could stop an immortal from turning truly evil. For Katherine, it was a technicality that was outrageously used in order to exact revenge. Harm could still hear her screams as the flames consumed her body. _Wait for me! I'll come back for you._

Even if The Collective was involved, to Harm her death was worth avenging, so he began a crusade that would end in the extermination of all those involved in Katherine's death. He did so without permission, executing mortals and immortals alike, even those that crossed his path. Neither the blood nor the pain seemed to be enough until they had all been executed. Unfortunately, he could never catch Kale and his personal vendetta came to an end before The Collective's high counsel.

His murderous streak would have ended with his death but Katherine's father, Seth, had offered him a choice – become an Enforcer and uphold the laws of The Collective or die. With the craving for pain and blood still in his veins, Harm had chosen to become an Enforcer. "I never understood why Seth wouldn't let me kill you."

Kale sighed dramatically. "I'm innocent. . ._You_ were the man who killed everyone left of my family. . .It's me who doesn't understand how _you_ are still alive." He chanced a glance back towards Mac who was wearing a concerned expression. "I've made it my life's goal to destroy you and I think I know how."

Angrily, Harm lunged at Kale, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him against the wall. "You stay away from her. . .The Collective won't protect you forever."

That ever smug grin spread across Kale's lips. "Are you willing to die to keep her alive?"

"Yes." Harm hissed and reluctantly let Kale go as he sensed Mac coming to his side. "Get out of here and stay away. . .You want to fight me, fine, but this is not the place nor the time."

Kale nodded in agreement, patience was always the key, his father had taught him that. "I know it will happen eventually. . .I just wanted to remind you that I still haven't forgotten what you did." Turning to Mac he smiled eerily at her. "You are beautiful, aren't you?" He made to take her hand again but the Marine stepped into action, her hand connecting with the side of his face. "Ouch."

"_Don't_ touch me." Mac stood defensively, in a stance used to attack in a hand to hand battle. She had a feeling that Kale was an immortal like Harm, but she would take any shot she could land.

"Always attracted to the feisty ones, aren't you O'Rabhartaigh?" Chuckling, he walked out of the establishment, casting a backwards glance.

"You're not going to tell me about him, are you?" As much as Mac wanted to know more about his life, she wasn't too sure that this was a subject he was willing to divulge upon. The intensity in his face as he spoke to the man was frightening. She could sense all of his power that was being held back by whim alone.

Harm shook his head. "No." Without so much as a goodbye, he walked out of the shop and headed straight towards his car. At the moment, with the rage running through his veins, he just couldn't be near Mac. His world was far too dangerous.


	7. Play Dead

Woooh! Okay, so as of now you guys have 7-8 chapters to go. And here you will see a little bit of Harm's hunting abilities. ;) I was amused that one of my fav writers also uses the term "Enforcer" for Roque hunters. Course, Harm is just more than a rogue hunter, he pretty much protects other vampies. sighs He can bite me any day. ahem Anyway... I love this chapter.

Enjoy!

Jackie

**Chapter 7: Play Dead  
**"**I play dead  
****To hide my heart  
****Until the world gone dark fades away"  
"Play Dead" by HIM off of the album **_**Dark Light**_**.**

**2210 Local  
****Rock Creek Park  
****Washington, DC  
**

Cool weather afforded Harm the chance to wear a long, black trench coat, the perfect place to conceal weapons. He touched his fingertips to a modified 45mm pistol attached to a holster wrapped around his right thigh. Throughout the years of vampire wars and hunting, weapons had been adapted to merge with the modern world. Harm rather liked guns, they were easy to carry and conceal with the use of clothing or other accessories such as briefcases and knapsacks. However, the certain death of an immortal would only come two ways, with the removal of their heads or fire.

ChemTek pistols, like the 45 he was carrying now, had come to pass as a fluke. One of their scientists had been working on a formula in order to aid enforces in attacking rogue vampires. The scientist had found that combining high quantities of iron with other chemicals could be fatal to some vampires or cause enough damage to make their capture easier. They also hurt like a bitch.

With those thoughts in mind, Harm headed down an embankment and crouched down, pressing his back against the stones of one of the many rock bridges in the park. Remaining still, he was able to take a good look through the area noticing that his prey had stopped relatively close. Taking a deep breath to the oncoming air, Harm was able to deduce that the woman he was with was mortal. Frowning, he removed a pair of binoculars from inside of his trench coat and used them to get a better view of the pair.

Gregory Bradford had only been an immortal for a year, but in that time, had committed atrocities that defied their laws. First there were the three women he'd raped and brought across against their will. Second was the attack on a blood bank which had left one mortal dead and another immortal wounded. It had been a miracle that The Collective, hadn't sent Harm after Gregory in the first place. He was the best that they had and everyone knew it. No, they decided to send a new hunter thinking that a fledgling vampire would be of no match to an older one. Gregory evaded and killed the young hunter.

It was absolute luck that had brought the rouge to Washington, but Harm wasn't about to question its meaning. He was just happy that he didn't have to travel somewhere to do the job. Slowly, he walked across the creek, careful not to slip on the hidden rocks. He barely felt the cool water lapping at his ankles as he crossed. Then he came down on his stomach, laying prone at he other side of the embankment, just enough so that only the top of his head was visible. He could see Gregory turning back with the mortal, a pretty woman that had been running down the trails.

At once, his mind brought up images of Mac. It was no secret that her bouts of insomnia had made her restless enough to run through this very park at odd hours. The notion had always worried him and had, twice before, brought him out to the area, hiding in the shadows until Mac gave up and went back home. _Damnit_. Why was he thinking about Mac right now? This wasn't the time or the place for such thoughts, he had a killer to catch and bring to justice. He trained his binoculars back towards the area where Gregory and the female human were. He needed to wait for the proper moment to pounce on the man.

Another distraction brought his eyes away from Gregory and up to concentrate on the bridge above. Soft steps echoed in his ears and he tensed slightly. If someone looked down, he'd be spotted despite the darkness of his clothing and the leaves around him. Carefully, he came to his knees and pressed himself against the stone. As the tentative steps came closer, Harm moved beneath the bridge and was barely able to keep watch on Gregory as the embankment took away most of his vantage. He noted that the vampire was on the move, headed his way and hoped that the person above would not scare the rogue off or become a victim. "Shit."

Under the bridge, he moved across the water and to the opposite end, heading up the embankment only to careen into a person. A woman, he noted from the softness of her body and the succulent scent of her perfume. With a start, he glanced up and stared. "Mac?"

"Hi." She smiled sheepishly, a blush beginning to taint her cheeks. Noting that they were practically pressed together, Mac took a step backwards creating a little bit of space between them.

"What are you doing here?" Harm whispered, raising his brows as he noticed her outfit which consisted of black BDU trousers and a sweatshirt with a hoodie.

Mac shrugged. "I went out running." But the upturn thing to her mouth gave her away and at Harm's stern look, she changed the story. "Okay, so I followed you. . .I was just curious as to what. . ." The words caught in her throat as Harm took her roughly against him, his hand covering her mouth. He maneuvered her down the embankment, practically crushing her body with his weight.

Harm bit back a groan as her teeth sank into his hand which he figured was more of a survival thing than a want to actually hurt him. Above he heard Gregory talking with the girl and stopping, mid-bridge. "You will give your body to me." The rogue said and Harm realized that he needed to move quickly else another life would be lost. Practically hopping off of Mac, Harm hurried up the embankment and onto the bridge, pistol drawn and pointed towards Gregory.

"You won't hurt her." He said, gun trained at his mark. Gregory did not seem surprised to see him. Then again, most people that did wrong didn't. "You know who I am."

Gregory grinned. "Of course. And you know that I won't make it easy for you to take me in."

Harm shook his head. "What makes you think that I'm gonna take you in? I'm an enforcer and can kill you on sight."

The woman had started to move away from Gregory, heading towards the opposite end of the bridge in slow movements that would not alert the rogue. That is until Mac came out of that end, bumping against the woman and sending her running towards Gregory who quickly snatched her and held tightly to her throat. "Kick that pistol over to me and I'll let her live."

Never one to negotiate, Harm stood his ground, moving towards Gregory slowly until the rogue's nails dug into the woman's throat, drawing blood. "Okay. . .fine." He placed the pistol on the ground and kicked it towards Gregory and then cursed inwardly at Mac. She had ruined his hunt and possibly put all of them in danger. Yet, he couldn't blame her fully, he knew well enough that he too would have been following her if the roles were reversed. "Let her go."

Gregory did and the woman set out running towards Harm. He took that chance to pounce, but the rogue rolled to the right and plucked the weapon from the ground. He pulled the trigger twice, sending two ChemTek shells towards Harm's gut.

The initial burst of pain brought Harm to his knees."Oh God." He rolled into a fetal position, tightening his body as the pain rushed through his veins. Suffering the pain from the iron was an initiation rite for all hunters of his kind. They needed to know the pain inflicted in order to know what their victim was feeling. Harm had forgotten just how debilitating it was. Pleased, Gregory threw the pistol into the creek and headed off past Harm and into the night.

"Harm!" Mac rushed to his side and kneeled next to him, her hands skimming his body for wounds. She pulled up his shirt, finding two ugly wounds, each two inches in length which skimmed across his abs. His stomach cramped and she could see something almost moving beneath his skin and spreading out through his torso. "This isn't good, is it?" Unlike the wound from the time she'd shot him, this one wasn't closing up easily. It wasn't closing up at all. "Aren't you supposed to heal?"

Harm yelled out in pain, fists clutched tightly at his sides. "It's. . .a special gun. . .hurts us. . . bad." He grunted out between breaths. This had been the first time anyone had gotten the drop on him with his own weapon. The idea was quite nauseating and embarrassing. He would have to face The Collective for his failure.

"I'm sorry. . .I shouldn't have followed you." Mac tried to make him comfortable, but each movement only seemed to bring him more pain. "What can I do?"

There was only one way to remedy the situation and stop the pain, but it was likely that the iron would kill him before Mac could get him home and fed. "Blood. . .I need blood. . .In apartment. . .inside the island, hidden fridge." The iron was spreading quickly through his bloodstream, moving through pathways and into his organs. Bloody tears fell from his eyes and he was starting to lose his vision, a sign that he would die without proper help. Taking one ChemTek shell was one thing but two. . .Despite the hurt he'd caused and the pain of living without Katherine, Harm didn't want to die. And he didn't want Mac to see him like this. He didn't want the guilt of his death to be on her shoulders. It was easier just to send her away. "Go. . .please."

"Okay. . .I'll be back as fast as possible." Mac stood up and set off in a dead run through the park. She needed to get to her car and to his apartment, something that would take time.

_Time!_

The word echoed through her head making Mac stop abruptly and turn back towards Harm. Deep inside, she felt it, a pull to him that couldn't be explained and yet, it spoke to her clearly. He didn't have time to wait for her. Glancing down at her hands, she spotted a vein on her wrist which had a habit of protruding slightly when she was under tension. "Blood."

Harm was surprised to find her back at his side kneeling over him. "Mac. . ." He found her reaching into her pocket and pulling out a one inch, foldable knife. "What?" Before he could say another word he felt his mouth fill with blood; Mac's blood. He tried to stop her but his weakness was too great and the overwhelming feeling of her liquid life trickling down his throat was too much a temptation.

Mac bit her lower lip, holding back the urge to scream when his mouth fastened to the wound. Deep inside she knew that he'd never hurt her physically, but each movement of his mouth sent a shock of pain up her wrist and through her body. It was a task to remain still and calm for him.

Blood lust had the nasty habit of consuming even the most noble of vampires. For Harm, it was no exception as the need to take more grew. He wanted to drink her dry and past the point of which Mac's heart would stop. It was like ecstasy and the reason why he'd usually made sure to feed before making contact with mortals, especially Mac. A groan alerted him to the pain he was causing and reality settled back in. Mac was giving him her blood. Mac's blood.

He needed to stop.

Against his inner most wishes, Harm pulled Mac's wrist away from his mouth. He darted his tongue over her wound, his saliva healing it almost immediately. The pain still coursed through him, easing slightly but it would be long before he could get moving on his own. He needed sleep, deep sleep that would help repair any wounds that were deep inside. Slowly he rolled over and came to his knees.

Mac lifted one of his arms and brought it over her shoulder. She stood up and winced, taking on a good portion of Harm's weight as they headed off out of the park.

**0830 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

The convenience of a working elevator was the only reason why Mac had decided on venturing to her apartment rather than Harm's. The stupid elevator was out at his apartment again and the last thing they needed was to try and haul up a flight of steps with her carrying so much of his weight. As it was, the few steps up to the main door of her apartment complex had been almost daunting. She guided him through the apartment and into her bed. He'd fallen asleep immediately, affording Mac the time to make a run to his place and retrieve some fresh clothes and blood.

Mac stripped him down to his boxers and cleaned up the blood which was caked to his abdomen. Surprisingly, the wound had closed up, leaving only a jagged mark which seemed to disappear before her eyes.

At around five am, she saw the rise and fall of his chest cease altogether. She tried to wake him, shaking his body, but got no response. She'd prepared to start CPR when his body gave a little jerk and then the breathing resumed. The action happened three more times before his breath stopped completely.

It made her nervous and yet, something inside told her it was perfectly normal, a method of healing, really. Cautiously, she waited, forcing herself to stay awake until she felt him stir.

Harm took in a deep breath of air, a normal occurrence when rising from dead sleep. His eyes opened cautiously as his body sensed that he was in unfamiliar territory. Slowly, Harm's senses came back and as he took another breath, he realized that Mac was with him. "Mac, where are we?"

Mac propped up on one elbow and let out a deep breath. For a moment there, she thought he'd never wake again. "You don't recognize my bedroom? It's not the first time you've seen it." In fact, after dealing with Coster, Harm had helped her paint and the color had remained the same.

Slowly Harm looked around, snorting as realization struck. He was finally in Mac's bed and yet, it was the worst place he could be. "Never seen your room from this position."

Trying not to think too much about his position, Mac ran a hand over his forehead to find his skin slightly warmer than usual. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." He said. "I need blood." Harm knew he needed to head home and drink his fill before someone else became his victim of blood lust. Still, it was so nice in her bed, so warm and comfortable. He felt at home. "I have to go home."

Not one moment after he uttered that sentence, he found warm skin pressed against his lips. A pulse sang beneath the skin, beckoning him to take his fill. Mac's wondrous scent filled his nostrils and his mouth began to water. He recalled what she tasted like, spicy and so delicious that. . . "No." His teeth were already scraping, tempted to press down and break her fragile skin. "No. . .I can't take from you again. . .I shouldn't have taken from you last night."

"I offered." Mac said and promptly pressed her wrist to his mouth once again. She knew he needed blood to survive and would be damned if something would happen to him because she didn't provide her best friends with a means to live. "I'm offering again."

"I have blood at home. . .I'll be fine. . . Where are you going?" He felt her move from the bed, the movement sending a wave of nausea coursing through his body. Damnit, he needed blood and a lot of it. ChemTek bullets had a way of almost dehydrating a vampire. "Mac, help me get home."

When she returned he spotted the bagged blood in her hand. "I went to your place while you were sleeping. . .I wanted to feed some to you while you slept but had no idea how to go about it." She looked embarrassed as if she should have known such things. He was her closest friend, the least she could do was keep him safe as he did her.

Gratefully, Harm took one bag from her. "Thank you." He made to press the bag to his teeth but stopped as he found Mac watching with a disgusted look. "You don't have to see this. . ."

"Yes, I do." All the talk of vampires and his life story, but she still hadn't seen him actually feed; it was too dark at Rock Creek Park for her to really see what he was doing. Curiosity was killing her. "This is part of who you are and if I am to be your friend, I have to accept it. . .all of it." Even if she wasn't ready to accept it all. One thing was to talk about what he was, but seeing it in action. . .maybe that would cause rationality to hit her. Maybe then she would find what he was repulsive and monstrous.

She sat at the edge of the bed, watching as the blood disappeared, leaving the small bag completely empty. It wasn't repulsive, not one bit. Once done, she handed him another bag. "I brought you a few more."

"Ank ou." Harm replied, the second bag already in his mouth and draining quickly.

He had his eyes closed during the feeding which allowed Mac to study the blissful expression on his face. She was glad that at least one of them had enjoyed him drinking her blood last night. She certainly hadn't. "When you take someone's blood, does it always hurt so much?"

Startled, Harm's eyes locked on Mac. He was horrified; the worst of his nightmares came true. He'd hurt her; physically hurt her. Impatiently, he waited for the blood in the bag to drain fully before pulling away from his mouth. He swallowed hard, "I hurt you?"

"A bit. . .I think it was just the heat of the moment. I'm sure you didn't mean. . ."

"Goddamnit!" Angry at himself, Harm quickly came off of her bed, tossing the sheets aside. The act was premature for his still aching body and he careened into the nearby wall. "Ugh."

"Harm!" Mac was at his side instantly, helping him back up on the bed and settled against the headboard. "What the hell is in those bullets?"

"Iron and some chemicals. . .It does the trick." He offered on a grimace as he felt the stinging sensation still in his veins.

Mac frowned. "Apparently it works a little too well." She tenderly pressed a hand to his cheek, a means of comforting the storm brewing within him. She hadn't meant to upset him, nor did she think he'd taken it so seriously. Her hand slowly slipped down, fingers brushing his lips as Mac trailed her hand down his neck, coming to a stop over his heart which beat rapidly beneath her palm. "It's beating again."

Confused, Harm stared blankly at her. "What to you mean?"

"A few hours ago it was like you were dead to the world." She kept her hand pressed to his chest, waiting for the cessation to happen. "I pressed my fingers to your pulse point and you had none." Assured that he was surely alive and well, Mac removed her hand.

The moment she pulled away, Harm felt a pain deep within. He rather liked her coddling him though he wouldn't admit it out loud. The more one on one time he spent with her, the more difficult it was for him to resist. As it was, Harm was fighting the overwhelming urge to kiss her. Not many people that knew would have offered their blood so readily. She was special and if what he felt inside was true, she was also his. "Oh. . .Yeah, we do that. . .It's called 'dead sleep', when our bodies literally shut down. . .It's easier for our bodies to repair themselves daily if we give it proper rest. . .When we lose a lot of blood, it's almost automatic that our bodies go into dead sleep."

Unconsciously, he reached for her hand, squeezing gently. "I didn't mean to scare you. . .I don't want to hurt you." Yet he had, emotionally. Those were wounds that he was sure would never heal, unlike the physical ones. He turned her hand over, palm facing up and rubbed his thumb over the wrist she'd offered to him.

Mac's breath hitched as his fingers traced lazy circles on her flesh. "Why isn't there a mark?"

"Our saliva has healing properties. . .I licked the pinpricks after I fed from you."

"Oh." He was still running his fingers over her wrist, an act that didn't help Mac's mind from trailing to more interesting things. The thought of him licking her wrist sounded terribly erotic. She found her body leaning forward, moving closer to him when Harm grunted in pain. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Harm ground out, reluctantly letting go of Mac's hand to press his own hand to the area where the bullet had gone in. "I just need some sleep."

Frowning, she moved away from the bed. "I'll be in the living room if you need me."

"Thanks." He whispered out a second before the breathing stopped again.

Mac watched him sleep for a few minutes before deciding to get some rest of her own on the sofa. With a soft sigh, she wondered what it was about her that made him pull away. It must have cost him a humongous effort to share his feelings, as cryptic as they were, several months ago on the Admiral's porch.

Pulling the afghan over her, Mac fell into her own deep sleep, unaware that Harm would leave just a few minutes later.


	8. Dead Lover’s Lane

Okay gang,I've had this for a while now but due to family issues haven't had the time to check over the file and post.

So, here it is... Warning, there is a cliffy at the end of this one and V was calling me evil over it. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

**Chapter 8 – Dead Lover's Lane  
2210 Local  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown**

Harm knew he was in trouble the very second he caught Mac's gaze once he stepped through her door. Leaving her apartment in his condition was absolutely foolish, but he had a mission to finish, a rogue to kill. "You could have told me you were leaving."

"I know. I should have but. . ."

"You could have answered your phone."

"Well, it's just that. . ."

"At the very least open the door when I went to check up on you."

"I wasn't home."

While she wasn't yelling, Mac's posture was positively foreboding. "Why don't you trust me?"

Harm remained standing by the doorway, temptation to take her into his arms grew as did the despair in her eyes. She'd genuinely worried about him, a notion that made him feel warm inside. "I _do_ trust you Mac, but I had a job to finish."

"The guy at Rock Creek Park?" She asked, unable to keep the twinge of anger out of her voice. "You could have been hurt."

Her concern was truly amusing, Harm couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm fine."

"Right, which is why I needed to feed you my blood." She made to turn away but his voice stopped the movement, urging her to turn and face him.

"Mac, I know there are a lot of things you still don't know about me. . .Things you don't understand."

"Explain them to me. . ._Make_ me understand." She motioned for him to sit down and was surprised when he did. For a moment they sat in silence, Mac studying him. He still looked tired, exhausted. It was difficult not to mother him. "Why were you at Rock Creek Park last night? I'm trying to wrap my head around this. . .this . .situation with you." She waved a hand between the two of them and then tossed her hands up in frustration. "I think I can _understand _the vampire thing but. . .I don't understand this double life you live."

Double life. The term was so dead on that it made Harm shiver. He'd been living two lives as long as he could remember, yet there was a time when that wasn't so. With Katherine, he'd always been himself. The consequences of her death had done so much damage to him that all it left was his half existence. "Have I mentioned anything about The Collective?"

Mac wasn't sure. The last week and a half of life around Harm had been a whirlwind. "Yes. I mean, I think you mentioned them. . .I don't know."

"The Collective is a high counsel created by both made and born, elder vampires. . .They pass judgment and create rules that immortals live by. . .Without them there would be chaos." Chaos, much like the mortal world still existed with the immortals. He figured it was just impossible for everyone to follow the law even if defying it meant death. "After Katherine's death, I. . .I decided to avenge her. . .I did many things, evil things. . ." Those memories were the hardest to forget and the demons that came with them would haunt Harm for life. He still recalled the first mortal he killed, a woman and her young daughter; he was just too ridden with blood lust to know any better.

"I should have been put to death several times over, but The Collective gave me a choice – death or a life of service. He found I was particularly good at killing and made me an Enforcer."

Mac nodded in understanding, putting two and two together. "Like a vampire cop?"

"More like a vampire mercenary . . .Enforcers hunt immortals who don't follow our laws. . .Sometimes we hand out their justice, other times we escort them to the council." Throughout the centuries, Harm had served as both judge and executioner to more than 15,000 immortals and, in rare cases, mortals who had seen too much and chosen to destroy immortals with their information.

Hunting had helped ease some of the pain revolving around the death of Katherine. It quenched his appetite for destruction. "I gave myself to the service. . .As part of being an Enforcer, we need to join the mortal race again. . .step into strategic positions in order to make sure immortals and mortals can survive."

"Kind of like a double agent?"

"Yes. Exactly." Harm sighed softly. She understood or was, at least, doing a good job of making him believe that she did.

"There are a lot of pieces to you."

"Probably more than we could ever cover in this lifetime." Harm gave her a lopsided smile. "At least Sturgis and I have remained friends throughout the last two centuries. . .He's kept me sane."

Mac furled her brow. "Is he an Enforcer too?" The idea made her cringe. Sturgis, for all of his faults, always seemed to be somewhat of a pussy cat to her.

Harm burst out laughing. "Sturgis? An Enforcer?" He brought a hand over his eyes and laughed harder "No, he uh. . .He's a Healer. They have spells and powers to heal even the worst of wounds so long as they are not beheadings or severe burns. . .They also help during childbirth. . .Immortals have a particularly difficult time carrying kids to full term."

"I thought you couldn't have children?"

Groaning, he turned away from her, uncomfortable now that he'd been caught in a pretty big lie. "Some can. . .It's difficult and I didn't want to elaborate on that before because it's. . .difficult to explain." And though he and Katherine had tried, something always prevented her from getting pregnant. "We believe that only a born immortal can make another immortal pregnant. . .Katherine and I never could. . ." He trailed off with a frown and shook off that particular memory. "We gave up after a few years of trying and just focused on our marriage."

Mac wasn't certain that she'd ever wrap her head around Harm being married. The thought tightened the band around her heart and she wondered, selfishly, if Harm had felt the same jealousy when he discovered her marriage to Chris Ragle. "Marriage."

"Hard to believe I'd make a good husband?" While he'd meant to tease, it came out just the opposite which she mercifully chose to ignore and opted to head into a worse topic.

"Who was that man at Starbucks? He called you by your real last name." Mac hadn't asked, especially since he'd practically begged her not to. Now, after witnessing his attack in the park, she couldn't help but wonder what other dangers lay in wait. "Harm please."

As much as he tried not to elaborate on his life with Katherine, he knew that, at one point, he'd have to share more pieces with Mac until she knew the whole story. He hoped that through it all she'd never come to know two key pieces – that the two of them looked exactly alike; that she could be his lifemate.

Harm scrubbed a hand over his face and then let out a quick breath. "Kale isn't just an enemy. . .His father was the man who was with Katherine before me. . .Garron couldn't quite get over her and was taken in by a rogue vampire who wound up brainwashing him to the point that he murdered his own wife and two female children."

"He was married? Why would he have an affair with Katherine if he were married?" Although, if Katherine had managed to snag Harm, she figured the woman could have any man that she wanted.

Harm lowered his head in shame. It was the one aspect of Katherine that had always bothered him: the countless stories of other lovers. He wasn't comfortable with the idea even though, he too, had several affairs during the centuries of his life. His affairs, however, had not led to such a fatal conclusion. "When you spend centuries alone, you tend to take on lovers. . .many lovers. . .She just chose wrong and it cost her. . .It cost _me_ a great deal of pain." He glanced down, heart aching with memories that he sometimes wished would disappear. "Garron and his family had Katherine killed. . .He. . waited until his boys, Kale included, were in their twenties to bring them across. . .I opted to avenge her and wound up as an Enforcer for my troubles. . . I guess it was fair considering I killed a lot of people in order to right her death."

"Why didn't you kill Kale?"

"For some reason, he kept eluding me. . . Once The Collective got wind, they stopped me from finishing. Part of my punishment was to let Kale live and, no matter what stunt he pulled, his life was under their protection."

"So, if you go after him now you'll. . ."

"Be put to death." He stared up at her and carried the uncomfortable silence that had tightened around them. For the first time since the night she shot him, Harm figured she really understood why there was always an unreachable side to him. At least, that's what he saw in her eyes. On baited breath he waited for her to lash out, to call him a monster as so many before did.

"What about your family? Is there anyone left? Descendants?"

Harm shook his head. The last of his descendants had died in a ramp strike. "No. . . They all passed away."

"So, when we went looking for your father in Russia? Was that just another job of yours?" Much of the day, she had wondered about his family. Who were Trish and Frank? Who was Harmon Rabb Senior? What about all of those pictures that she'd seen of Harm, at Annapolis with Jack, Diane and Keeter? Surely, that wasn't him. Was it all just a lie?

The most intricately woven deception had been the one Harm created in order to join the US Navy as an established and popular Lieutenant. While immortals tended to easily slip into certain rankings in the mortal government and military, painstaking effort was taken to create a diverse back-story. With that back story came a family, records and anything that could trace the immortal to a normal, mortal life.

"I lost touch with my family." Although it wasn't so much as he lost touch as that he _wanted_ to lose touch. "Katherine was everything to me and, as much as I loved my son, I realized that I couldn't go back. . .From time to time, I would watch over him." Then a century passed and his want to watch over his family decreased drastically. He did know one thing, "Aiden married and had kids. . .His daughter married a merchant. They traveled and finally settled in Europe. . .I don't know the exact linage. But, eventually her descendants settled in Pennsylvania."

"The Rabb's." Mac caught on, even before he confirmed it. Harm hadn't just taken any last name, he'd managed to find his family. "Did you ever meet him? Harm Senior, I mean."

"I didn't even know he existed until, 1984 when I first visited the Vietnam War Memorial and I saw my name: Harmon." It wasn't exactly the most common of names, though, in modern times, it was found more as a last name. "I was curious. . .So, I went searching and found out that I had a great grandson." And while that didn't prompt him to automatically search out Harmon Rabb Junior, he still tried to watch over him. "With The Collective, I get sent all over the world. I was getting tired of jet setting and was trying to stay put somewhere. . .When I found out that Harm Junior joined the Navy, I decided to do the same."

He waited patiently for the back-story and the documents that would have him assume to be someone else. "During that time, I was sent away again and when I returned, Harm had crashed into the Seahawk. He survived but was in critical condition at Bethesda." So he did the one thing that he should have never done. "I went to see him."

Mac leaned back into her seat, floored by a history so intricately woven that it was practically seamless. A thought came to mind then, one that both disappointed and terrified her. "Did you kill him?"

Harm placed his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands. Lies were easy to construct for his kind – place a memory or a thought into a mortal's head and let them run with it. With Mac, he wished it could be that easy. "Yes."

"Oh God." Mad stood up and crossed to the dining room where she took a firm hold of the back of one of the chairs. Her breath hitched as her heart tried to stop hammering. "Is that what you do? Murder us to take our place?"

"He was going to die anyway, Mac. . .His chute didn't deploy on time and Harm had broken nearly every bone in his body. The chance of recovery was less than 4 percent."

She turned to him, tears threatening to spill. Harmon Rabb Junior, pilot and lawyer extraordinaire, her best friend – it was all a lie. "That's still a chance."

"He would have died." He stood firm on that belief. "We have the ability to smell death, to sense it. . .He wouldn't have survived and if he did, Harm would have never come out of that coma." With his special abilities, he could sense that each labored breath his great grandson took, the young man was slipping away a little more.

"So you took his place." She didn't question, knowing that is exactly what had been done. "Tell me, how do you know so much about his past? More research or did you invent all of that too?" She was referring to Annapolis, and Harm's family life – stories too invested to be fictional.

That was probably the easiest part of the whole process. It was the only thing guaranteed. "You already know I can go into people's thoughts."

"Not mine." She shot at him, tilting her head to the side. The smirk Mac gave him made Harm slightly nervous. That wasn't something he was about to explain to her.

He cleared his throat and shrugged. "Well, if we drink the person's blood, whether they are mortal or immortal, we can see. . .everything. Memories, feelings, thoughts. It's almost like opening up the hard drive of a computer." He explained in terminology that she would understand. "It all downloads to us. We use it to our advantage." It was also a big reason why The Collective was trying to prevent immortals from feeding off of mortals directly – they just didn't know what lengths a rogue or easily controlled vampire would go to in order to extract certain information.

Mac seemed uneasy with the recent news. Her brow furled and what was left of the smirk now turned into a frown. She sure as hell didn't want him fiddling with her thoughts. "What did you find out about me last night?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." She snorted. "I'm not about to believe that you had a chance to read my thoughts, which you claim you can't do, and passed up on that opportunity. I wouldn't have passed it up." She pointed to herself, tapping her chest slightly with the tip of her index finger. That comment seemed suspended in the uncomfortably silence that they shared. Glancing towards him, Mac found his eyes trained on her. She knew then that he hadn't breeched that level of confidentiality and felt ashamed at her accusation. "Damnit. I want, so much to hate you, but I can't."

Harm nodded in agreement. "It would be easier that way. I know. Easier to keep people away."

But he didn't have to keep _her_ away, she just wished he understood. Hell, Mac just wished she could fully understand all of this, how it worked and why her feelings for him were running at a million miles an hour without her consent. As much as she wanted to stay angry at him, it was impossible. With a sigh, she crossed the room again and settled back into her original spot on the sofa. "So, what happened? You became Harmon Rabb Junior."

"Yes. But, since The Collective knew I needed to train a few years in order to pilot a Tomcat, they figured that Harm needed a change in designator. So I went to law school and during that time also trained to fly jet fighters." The flyboy grin spread across his lips and he chuckled. "I had a real knack for it too. . .Flying a plane was just natural to me."

"Trish and Frank?"

"They don't know he's dead. . .Neither do any of Harm's friend. Keeter included."

Mac let out a breath she was holding and shook her head. "This is almost too unbelievable . . .Just when I _think_ I want to know more. . ." She trailed off and tilted her head to study Harm more carefully. Inside, Mac was fighting a war within herself. She'd always known that their jobs were half of the reason as to why they'd never given a relationship the chance to work. Now, she saw it was much more complex, if not insurmountable. Yet, even the most insurmountable seeming object could be conquered. "Harm, I need to ask you something. . .It has to do about us."

Bravely, she would have asked him, point blank, if he wanted her as something more than just a friend. It was an odd place and time to discuss such things, but she was tired of running in circles. If he genuinely believed himself unworthy of her love then he was clearly mistaken.

Harm held her gaze, captivated by the look in her eyes and pained by the loneliness that he found there. Again, he'd wished she'd been urged to marry Mic. She would have been lost to him, but at the very least she would have been happy.

There were times when he'd hear her laughter as the lovers conversed over the phone. The mirth in her eyes when the Australian paid her a compliment. As much as it all sickened him, Harm had to admit that Mic wasn't a bad guy. At least he'd made her happy, if only for a while. It was much more than he'd ever done. It was much more than he'd ever be capable of doing.

_Soulmate._

_Lifemate._

"_She's the one."_ He could still hear Sturgis' voice in his head, urging him to believe in a truth that couldn't exist. Enforcers weren't meant to be happy. He wasn't meant to be happy. "There is no 'us'." He shot Mac's own words back to her and immediately regretted it. "Mac. . .I didn't mean it that way."

If he were sitting a little closer, Mac probably would have slapped him. "I am trying to understand you. . ._really_ I am." While she too had a tendency to run hot and cold with him, it had been out of self preservation. She wasn't ready to suffer heartbreak at his hands again. "You pushed me away and then made my life miserable when I was with Mic."

Harm wasn't sure how to answer that. He certainly hadn't tried to make her miserable; he just always thought she could do so much better. "I can't give you what you want, Mac."

"I want to understand why you keep pushing me away. . .How could you kiss me the way you did and then. . .How can you turn it on and off?" She headed back around the sofa, confident now that she let him know just how much that kiss affected her. "Why is it that you're only interested in me when I have one foot out the door? Your interest fades when. . .when I'm in the position to return it."

"I'm not like you. . .We're different types, different beings. . I live with a set of rules and. . ."

"Bullshit." She interrupted, waving off any explanation that had to do with his condition. "I know what you are. . .I've accepted it. . .It's obvious that we're attracted to each other and there's nothing in the way anymore."

He was hoping it would never end up here, at a place where he needed to explain his actions to her. In truth, he couldn't understand what had come over him. "Mac, you will never understand this, but I'm doing it to protect you from me."

Mac's brows furled in confusion. "You hurt me to protect me?"

"I care for you, a lot. . .I hoped that keeping you at a distance would be better. . .safer."

The sadness in her eyes made him feel like such a monster. From the moment he notice the attraction, Harm should have run. He couldn't, she'd become so much a part of him. "If that's your way of caring, I hope you never hate me. . .I wouldn't live through it"

"It's not about what either of us feel. . .I have enemies. Real enemies, worse than Kale. It's very simple for them to use you against me. . . I won't lose you that way."

"You're going to lose me anyway. . .I'm going to grow old, die and you'll live on,"

Her eventual death, Harm knew, would likely be the one denominator that would cause him to turn rogue. So many people in his life had died and yet, he wasn't prepared to lose Mac. "I know. . .I think about that all the time when I am with you. . .Every good moment that we have, it's engraved in my mind. . .I don't ever want to forget how good I feel around you." Cautiously, he moved close to her and took her hands in his. "I'm scared of what would happen if we. ."

Mac understood his concern. If possible, she would move heaven and earth to make sure he never felt pain. Maybe it was time to just give up? "I should have a say in this too, you know. . Maybe I don't care what anyone will do to me because I chose to be with you. . .I should have a choice and you aren't letting me."

"I'm sorry." Reluctantly, he let go of her hands and motioned towards the door. "I think it might be a good idea if I go home."

Normally, she would have agreed, hell, she would have tossed him out in favor of licking her wounds. "No. . .Stay." The words came out before Mac could stop them. At his confused expression she shrugged. "It's late. You were hurt last night and, as far as I can remember, last week you offered to help me paint the living room. . .In fact, you offered your SUV and your premiere expertise on the matter."

"Oh. I forgot." Okay? What had happened? Weren't they supposed to now hate each other for weeks on end and drive everyone at headquarters absolutely insane in the process? "Is this an olive branch?"

Mac shrugged. "I just don't want to go through another spell of us, virtually, hating each other. . .The only thing that accomplishes is to piss off the entire staff at JAG. . .We're a part of each other's lives. . .You're my best friend and I want to keep that for as long as possible." She wouldn't give up on him, not yet. Not until it seemed absolutely impossible. Maybe she was a fool for trying, but something urged her not to give up. Not yet.

Harm wasn't going to concede but when she stuck out her lower lip in a pout, it was his undoing. "Fine," He sighed, "but you take the bed. . .The sofa's a pull out, right?" And if he remembered Chloe's complaints, it was awful to sleep on unless the mattress was on the floor. "I'll just put the mattress on the floor. . .I'll be fine."

Mac nodded. "You can take the shower first. . .When I went to your place I brought back some of your clothes. . .The bag's at the foot of my bed."

"Thanks, Mac."

Sometime later, Harm lay on the mattress with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was flipping channels on the TV, but his super sharp hearing remaining at attention until he heard the water shut off in her bathroom. There was a silence that stretched on after that and he'd come to the conclusion that Mac was finally in bed and hopefully asleep.

Sighing, he shut off the TV and slid down, laying his head on the pillow. Why was this happening to him? Hadn't he suffered enough to be put through so much pain with this woman? He wanted Mac and knew that he always would, but he couldn't betray the woman he loved before. They were true lifemates, something that he couldn't just ignore. Then again, he and Mac seemed to be much of the same. He could feel it start to draw on his heart – this push and pull game he was playing in order to force Mac into hating him. It would be easier if she did, but the woman had a stubborn streak about her. At the very least, she wasn't throwing herself at him as she did so many years ago.

Things probably would have been easier had he given in during a particular ferry ride. If only Katherine would not have asked him to wait. If only Mac didn't look so damned much like her. That alone made him fear that his feelings for her weren't genuine. What if he was in some sort of state of shock that blocked him from reading her thoughts? What if, after sleeping with Mac, he realized that she _was_ controllable? It wasn't something that he could deal with. Worse yet, what if she was one of those mortals that were particularly difficult to read? She had metaphysical gifts.

Harm groaned. All of the 'what ifs' were starting to give him a headache, something that he rarely, if ever, got.

Consumed by his thoughts he hadn't noticed that Mac had stepped into the living room and was making her way to the edge of the mattress. "Mac? Are you alright?" He sat up and paused once he noticed one particularly intriguing fact – Mac was naked.

(AN: On the great grandson front. Harm Senior would be great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great… I haven't even tried to figure out how great he'd be considering that Harm's son was born in the 1100s LOL! I prefer not to do the math. ;))


	9. Heaven Tonight

Alright my fellow FFNet brethren... whatever. The moment you've been waiting for and in a nice and neat(ish) not overly descriptive version. ;) What I mean to say, you want the goods? Like the 4-5 paragraphs of descriptive Harm and Mac goodness? Ya know, the kinky scenes? E-mail me: radiorox(at)bellsouth(dot)net. - or PM me with your e-mail address. If e-mailing put the subject "Vampire Heart"

This chapter, the next, and some in the future will have naughty bits.

I wrote this a loooong time ago... kept having a scene in my head and had to write it down and eventually, it developed.

Originally it was at Harm's place. But, as much as I love his bachelor pad, Mac's house seems a little "warmer" and "cozy". So, my next step was to try and find a reason why Harm would be over at Mac's, laying in bed with only a towel on him.

Originally he was on her bed and she comes out of the shower... but... I don't think Harm would have been laying around half naked in her room with Mac in the shower... Yeah, that makes plenty of sense. Right? Right! Glad you can all agree. ;)

I realize this is a bit "bold" for Mac. I think she became much more careful around him after the whole "Eternity on the bridge" fiasco. I figure, she's fed up, understands why he's pushed her away and why he hasn't persued her... why he didn't stop her from almost marrying Mic. She knows, she understands, loves him anyway and that whole vampire, lifemate, attraction thing is kinda hard to fight for too long... So yeah... enjoy ;)

Jackie

**Chapter 9 – Heaven Tonight  
0020 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

Harm _had _to be dreaming. Despite her actions towards him in the past, Mac had never been the type to be _this _forward. She moved as if stalking him and although he was certainly the hunter, at the moment, he felt nothing more than like her prey. Thank God he had the gift of nocturnal vision. He could see her body almost perfectly. "Mac?" His voice caught in his throat and he swallowed thickly.

Between their last conversation and the end of her shower, Mac had contemplated all that had happened in the last few weeks. As much as she wanted to hate him for the feelings she held, Mac knew that she never could. He was much too important to her. She wouldn't let Harm destroy _them_ because of his fear of hurting her. She wouldn't let him stop her anymore.

"You keep saying that you're afraid you'd hurt me." She walked up to the mattress and stopped at its foot. "I don't think you have it in you to do that."

Harm's gaze lingered on her body, taking in every swell and curve until his eyes found hers. He'd fantasized about this; seen her in his dreams wearing nothing more than a sexy smile. For all of the comparisons that he could have drawn up between Mac and Katherine, the Marine had a much more wonderful physique. "I've already hurt you."

She shrugged. "No. You were trying to protect me from you. That's different." But Harm didn't see the difference. He'd hurt her, broken her heart more than once. He'd known that she wanted him and turned his attentions to someone else knowing the act would make her upset with him. "You're making these decisions on my behalf without consulting me."

"Mac, you're playing with fire." As he said this, she squatted down and crawled towards him until she settled herself on his lap. "I'm not talking about hurting your feelings." His breath hitched as she ran a hand over his chest, the tips of her fingers teasing his skin. Each touch set every nerve ending on fire. Even the softest of touches was sweet agony. "Mac. . ." The fight was starting to leave him and something was making him give in. Mac was bewitching him much as Katherine did centuries ago. Men were powerless to this kind of onslaught.

This is why he never allowed her to get close enough. This is why he preferred that she be kept in the dark over what he was. It would be too difficult to distract her now. And it was damned near impossible to resist a woman hell bent on seducing you. Most men in his position would thank their lucky stars, but Harm was damning the heavens. "Mac, we can't." His voice hitched as her fingers ran along the edge of the towel, the only scrap of fabric between them.

Mac bent over and pressed her lips gently against his, feeling a strange sensation – a peaceful one. As much as Harm wanted it to be wrong, Mac could feel it in her bones – this was right. They were meant to be together. Breaking the kiss, she pulled up to look at him. Even in the near dark, she could make out his expression and see his brow furled in confusion. She'd chased him before, yes, but never this blatantly. What had come over her? Mac still wasn't sure but, she was determined to ride out the storm with him. She smiled at him and pressed her fingers to his lips, so soft and kissable that she couldn't resist claiming them again. "Harm, I want you." She whispered softly and pressed her lips against his again.

She wasn't the only one that wanted and needed. Since the day that they'd met, Harm had wanted her but chose to fight his feelings until he made some sense of her likeness to Katherine and Diane. His resistance, Harm knew, was futile and did nothing more than damn him and hurt her in the process. It was the waiting that scared him the most. Some vampires who waited too long for a lifemate often caused physical pain during their first union. Knowing that the monster still lurked inside, he was afraid of hurting her or worse. "Mac. . ." There went her hands again, tracing lazy circles on his chest, skimming the edge of the towel. She _had _bewitched him, else he wouldn't have started to kiss her.

Gentle kisses gave way to deep, sensual ones as hands roamed in discovery. A vampire could only hold out for so long before their basic nature made its presence known. Harm's mouth moved towards her delicate neck and a spot he'd taken pleasure in with so many women. He could smell the blood underneath, feel the staccato of her heart as excitement and fear rushed through her veins. It's song was to hard to deny and his fangs slide out, rasping Mac's skin. She gasped as he made to bite down and pierce her flesh.

The fear radiated between them and Harm could sense her apprehension even as his blood lust begged him to bite deep and take all that he could. With a start he pushed her back and stilled her hands. "Stop. ." He couldn't do this. "We have to stop." He wouldn't kill her. "Mac, we can't."

"I'm not afraid of you." She lied and then kissed him again, trying to stop him from pulling away.

Harm was proud of her determination despite her fears. It was one of the things he enjoyed about her. But, perhaps the biggest problem was the unknown or rather, the things that _she_ didn't know. Damnit, he was dangerous and she needed to know. He took her face in his hands, stopping her kisses so that he could explain. "I'll hurt you. . .I want you so bad that I won't be able to stop myself from draining you dry. . ." It sounded like something out of a melodrama and yet, it was nothing but the truth. "It's happened to me before and I killed a woman because I couldn't stop myself."

The revelation was heartbreaking. Harm was a good man and she couldn't imagine the guilt that he'd felt at such an act. Rather than pull away, it made her more determined to see this through, to make him understand just what was happening between them. Could he feel it? - The charge so strong that it was often impossible to resist. "You _won't_ hurt me." She said solemnly. "I know this because. . ." It was now or never. Too many years had passed and her secret lay hidden beneath painful memories and tears. Words sometimes didn't mean a thing but, in this case, she hoped it meant everything. "I know you won't hurt me because I love you."

_I love you._ The words nearly made him cry. _I love you._ Centuries had passed and no one had dared uttered those words to him. Most people didn't love monsters and though he rather liked what he was, it was true - beings that drank blood were considered monsters. Monsters were unworthy of love. "You love me?"

"More now than ever." She claimed and felt her heart swell at the look on his face of pure admiration. Any resistance left over seemed to melt away as he began his ministrations on her naked skin once more.

The temptation was too hard to resist, as was his desire for her. Harm only prayed that he could make this last, that he could please her in the ways he'd only dreamt of. And when she reached out and ran a hand delicately over him, Harm was unglued.

He pulled the towel off and then sat up bringing Mac up with him. His tongue traced the seam of her lips until he slipped inside her welcoming mouth. Their kisses were deep, urgent and their tongues meshed, massaged. She was reviving feelings in him that had lain dormant for centuries.

He tried desperately to memorize the sensations and savor the moment. She exposed her throat to him, something that teased and tempted him so much that his fangs slipped out again.

Harm could feel the edge coming but it wouldn't be the same, not without feeding off of her. Instinctively, his mouth came to the pulse point on her neck. His tongue swirled around it, the temptation so irresistible. He needed to taste her. He wanted it so badly that, Once again, his fangs grazed her skin. And once again, he hesitated at her gasp. Harm could feel Mac's heartbeat and the fear that lingered. To a predator like him, fear called to him and sang a sirens song so sweet it was impossible to give up.

Mac's moans reverberated through his body tempting him to take what he wanted the most. He hesitated once, twice and then he heard her voice. "Do it. Please." She brought his head down, urging him on as his lips caressed her neck. Her heartbeat was racing wilder from the pleasure and the fear he instilled in her. She was afraid to die in such a fashion and yet, something about him taking blood from her neck was so damned erotic. "Please, Harm. . .You won't hurt me."

Harm's desire to claim her won out and he turned his head to the havens. "God help me." He said and lowered his mouth to her neck. His fangs extended again and without hesitation pierced through the delicate flesh. Blood bubbled to the surface and Harm created a seal with his lips to prevent any from escaping as his teeth did the work.

The act sent a shockwave of pain through Mac's body so hard that she had to gasp. Then, just as she was about to beg him to stop, the sensation changed entirely. She could feel his lips on her skin, a sweet, tingling sensation that radiating from there and moving through the rest of her body. Ripples of pleasure ebbed, flowed and as she closed her eyes Mac could sense that this type of love making was on a different plane. Beneath her closed eye lids she was seeing things, visions that played like a movie which was telling a story of her youth. Frightened of the scene, she popped her eyes open only to realize that it wasn't just a vision but a memory. Closing her eyes again, Mac opened herself to the visions and found herself in the very distant past.

As Harm fed, memories of his past crossed between them in a silent conversation. She felt his pain, his pleasure and the sadness that had lived through him due to a great loss. The memories made her grind harder against him, increasing the heightened sense of pleasure. With each movement, she sensed the pain lessen and soon Mac only saw colors, bright and beautiful. Music rang in her ears in tones that she hadn't heard before. A concerto that played beautiful songs only for them. Riding that wave, she was disturbed to find Harm start to pull away and pressed his head down to stop him from doing so.

Harm willingly took more until he lost himself in her. Mac's blood was the sweetest he'd ever had the pleasure of tasting. Rich and spicy, it nurtured his body and soul. His want to consume her completely was overweighed with his fear of killing her. When he finally pulled away, Harm was sure he heard her groan in disappointment. The erotic feelings he was giving her during the bite was a common practice among their own as a way to mask the pain when they fed off or mortals. He ran his tongue over the blood trail that had leaked from the wounds and then sealed it closed with his saliva. It never ceased to amuse him at how easily certain superficial wounds healed just by using his tongue.

When Harm felt her body start to relax, he quickly moved their position so that Mac was lying on the bed and he was on his side next to her. She could feel his gaze on her skin, almost as if he'd been branding her with just his eyes.

Soon after, Mac was held down by his strong arms as the sensation sent her on another ride that she wasn't sure she'd survive. Could people actually die from pleasure? If so, she welcomed death with opened arms. This time, their love making was not as gentle.

"My God." He breathed out softly as the sensations still rattled his body and flowed onto Mac. She held him to her, arms wrapped around him as tightly as possible until exhaustion and blood loss claimed her.

It was a little over half an hour later when Harm came to, finding Mac asleep. His eyes skimmed her body, noting every bite mark that he'd left in his wake. It wasn't an uncommon act but it disturbed him to have lost so much control. Carefully, he moved his fingers over each bite hoping that none of them had caused her much pain.

Settling his hand over one bite mark atop the swell of her left breast, Harm felt her pulse beneath the skin to be weak and slow, almost sputtering. She was alive but if he'd taken a little bit more. . . "Christ, what have I done?" Sitting up, he glanced around the room to find that they'd made love on a mattress on the floor. It wasn't quite the setting that he'd dreamed of for their first time, although, most of his fantasies of Mac usually involved harder surfaces.

Still, a floor wasn't the best place to spend the night. "Damnit." Carefully, he pulled her into his arms and lifted her off of the mattress. Recent experience taught him that Mac's bed was, indeed, as comfortable as it looked. It would allow her to rest more soundly and hopefully counter the effects of the blood loss. In the morning, he would feed her a hearty breakfast and make sure she got plenty of orange juice and vitamin B12.

After pulling back the covers, Harm laid her down and then climbed into bed with her, his body settling against hers protectively. He kissed the top of her head and then covered them up with the comforter. As much as he wanted to remain awake, there was a little problem when vampires had sex with their lifemates, they tended to be completely worn out. It wasn't long before he drifted off into a dead sleep.


	10. Right Here In My Arms

****

Woooh! I finally had a few minutes to beta the beta so here it is... the morning after. ;) Nah, don't worry people, it's fine... more than fine...very fine actually.

**However, remember to order your three-point-restraints, it will get a little bumpy. Hey, you know me, angst is my thang. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

**Jackie.**

**Chapter 10 – Right Here In My Arms  
0720 Local**

**Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

_What have I done?_ Harm didn't have to press his fingers to her pulse point to know he'd taken too much the night before. Mac's heartbeat was slow, irregular and utterly disconcerting. During the third time they'd made love, he couldn't help but indulge in small bites on various places of her body. She was so addicting, a fine wine that a vintage collector couldn't get enough of.

Mac would live but _if_ she had a heart condition, his feasting on her body would have likely killed her. As it was, she would be weak for a few days while her body worked on building up its blood. If he wouldn't have fallen asleep, Harm would have insisted on her eating something in order to jumpstart that process.

He didn't want to sleep but there was something about making love to your lifemate that wore you out. It was impossible not to give in.

_Lifemate? _No, she couldn't be. As much as he wanted Mac to fill that void, there was someone else who had filled that space. Someone else that he still. . . loved? Did he _still_ love Katherine? That question had been pondered throughout the years when his lust for blood had grown so savagely that he'd nearly lost himself. Sometimes it felt as if it didn't matter anymore. She was gone and he was left to deal with her mistake.

Sighing deeply, he turned to face Mac. She was lying on her side, arm tucked under her chin and a relaxed expression on her face. Harm was sure he'd never seen her this content, something that was making his heart swell with pride. God, he loved her, so much that. . . He sighed again, confusion rearing its ugly head. Was it possible to truly, genuinely love two women? The thought had caused havoc in his mind from the first day he'd met the Marine.

In truth, guilt was the only thing holding him back from giving his heart fully to her. Sturgis was right, Mac was meant for him. He felt it as they made love, that unique completeness that most lived without. She fit him perfectly and knew exactly where to touch and what to do, as if she'd done it before. Yes, she was his and he was hers, but could he live with the guilt of knowing that he betrayed his first love?

Katherine had forever locked him in a prison of guilt and all she'd done was ask him to wait. He had waited. . . somewhat. . .indulging in women he knew weren't for him if only to take the sting out of being alone. Now, much to his dismay, the wait seemed to end. It was time to let her go.

Carefully, he eased himself off of the bed and headed into the living room where he slipped on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He made his way to the kitchen, deciding to prepare Mac a very hearty breakfast in hopes of building her blood back up. He had taken a lot, too much, and the weak pulse had filled his dreams with nightmares.

Reaching into her cupboards, Harm took out two tall glasses and set them on the counter. Each was filled to the brim with orange juice which he placed on a tray. Next, he located her frying pan and proceeded on making an omelet consisting of Canadian bacon, onions, cheese, tomatoes and mushrooms. While the outside of the omelet browned, Harm popped two pieces of toast in the toaster.

The feast barely fit on the tray but he managed to make it to the bedroom without incident. Harm placed the meal on the opposite end of the bed and then tried to rouse Mac. "Wake up." Gently, he shook her shoulder but received no response. "Mac, wake up. I made you breakfast."

"Mmmmm." Mac moaned as she tried to force her eyes to open. Her body felt odd, heavy, almost as if she'd been running a marathon. There was a pleasant ache between her thighs and a tingle in her body that was utterly heavenly. She didn't want to wake up.

"I should have figured that the mention of food would have gotten you up faster." He chuckled as he urged her into a sitting position. "I need you to drink this." Harm waved the glass of orange juice in front of her face and then eased it to her lips. She took a small sip and then made a face as the bitter taste assaulted her senses. "Take a big drink, Mac, it's important."

Too tired to argue, Mac did as told and then settled back against the pillows. "Why am I so tired? I feel practically lethargic." Her voice was soft, subtle, lacking the strength it usually carried.

"I'm sorry, Mac. . .Last night, I. . .I took too much." Harm frowned at his admission and brought the glass back up to her lips. "I told you it was dangerous. . .I could have killed you."

Mac propped an eye open and gave him a dubious look. "But you didn't and you won't." He should have argued with her, but deep down inside, Harm knew she was right. He didn't have it in him to kill her and was beginning to doubt that the blood lust would grow so out of control that it would endanger her life. Lifemates tended to control and quell much of an immortals rage. With every touch and every caress he was beginning to feel whole again, almost human.

Harm swallowed down the lump at his throat. It didn't matter what she was or what her presence in his life could do to his battered soul. He wouldn't turn her. If Mac was to become an immortal like him, her life would be put in jeopardy. His enemies and even The Collective would make her a likely target in order to force his compliance. "You'll feel better once you get some food in you." He speared some omlet with a fork and raised it to Mac's mouth.

With a groan, she sat up and took the offering, then took the fork away from him. "I can feed myself, thank you." Once she was done, Harm suggested she get some rest. Though Mac would have complained, exhaustion won over.

A few hours later, Harm retreated to the living room and reassembled the sofa before lying down to watch TV. With a heave, he pushed himself upright and sat up, unaware of the pair of eyes on him. He leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. Immediately his mind conjured up images that he knew would never be deleted from his memory. Making love to Mac had been incredible, much more so than it ever had been with anyone, even Katherine.

From her doorway, Mac watched him, curious of the pleased expression on his face. She wondered if he was thinking about her, them and the exquisite moment they'd shared. Would things be different now? Lord knows that they had a nasty habit of taking one step forward and twenty back. Shrugging away her insecurities, Mac made her way to him. "You know, my bed is big enough for two."

Harm raised his head, looked at her and smiled. She was wearing a dark red, fluffy robe and surely nothing under it. "Feeling better?"

Mac's smile was positively radiant and so damned infectious. "Yup. . .Still a little tired. . .I guess you did a number on me." With a grin, she walked right up to him and slipped up on Harm's lap, her legs on either side of him. "And I have a bunch of bite marks that are starting to sting a bit. . . You need to kiss them better." Except for his dreams, Harm had never imagined she could be so seductive and sassy. With a grin, she leaned forward and kissed him. Her hands cupped Harm's face as she deepened the kisses.

Harm's hands which were resting on Mac's hips moved down and under the robe. He trailed his hands up her legs and to the junction of her thighs to find that, indeed, Mac wasn't wearing underwear. The notion brought certain parts of his body alive and a rich moan escaped his throat. "You are going to be the death of me." It had been several lifetimes since he'd felt _this_ aroused by anyone. As it was, Harm was starting to believe that even his lust for Katherine was now being outmatched.

His body was longing to feel itself against her own. Pushing her down onto the sofa, he growled into her ear. "I want you so bad, Mac." Harm felt a shifting in his mouth as his canines fell into place. To his surprise, the aroused state didn't scare Mac away. Instead, she helped remove his clothing as quickly as possible.

"I want you too." Instinctively, she tilted her head back, giving her throat up as an offering. Though they weren't exactly gentle, Harm did resist biting. His guilt for nearly draining her dry weighed heavier than his lust.

Afterwards, he reached up grabbing the afghan off of the sofa and draped it over them. "Sorry." He said softly as he turned to the side to watch Mac.

"Sorry for what?"

Grinning, he waved a hand over them. "Sorry that I lost control. . .There are better places to make love than a sofa. . .Your bedroom isn't _that_ far away."

Mac chuckled and pulled him in for a soft kiss. Her lips lingered over his, teasing him. "I can't exactly complain. . .I _did_ seduce you. . .Successfully, I might add."

Yes, she had, and Harm doubted very much he would ever be able to resist her wiles again. He'd tasted the sweet wine he'd secretly craved for so long and wasn't about to live without it. The exchange, though not as powerful as turning her, was enough to bond them together for life. Though he knew that, in all likelihood, he would have to let her go at some point, Harm chose to give in. He pulled her closer and kissed Mac slowly as if he were searching for the meaning of life through her kiss.

When they parted, her eyes were heavy lidded with a drugged expression that made him want to kiss her again. He was surprised when she opted to take on a bit more of his existence. "Harm, I want to taste you like you did me." Harm didn't even bother trying to talk himself out of it. Instead, with supernatural strength and the edge of his finger nail, he tore a two inch line over his chest, just above the heart. Blood immediately oozed out of the wound and his eyes never left Mac as she glanced at the sight with curiosity.

She leaned in, her lips almost sealing the wound as her tongue licked the blood. Mac took only a tiny amount before the iron taste overwhelmed her senses and made her pull away. Harm licked his index finger and ran it over the wound, his saliva instantly healing it. He noted the awe in her expression and smiled. "One of the perks, I guess."

"That's how you closed the wounds on my neck." She nodded in understanding and snuggled into him. "When you let go, you really let go, don't you?"

That statement had meant to be a joke but to Harm, it was a painful reminder of a ferry ride across Sydney Harbor. "I've wanted to let go, Mac. . . There's just so much. . .too much that I don't know how to explain. . .I was afraid we'd destroy our friendship and. . ."

"Katherine, right?. . . I imagine that it must have been difficult for you to allow yourself to care for someone else." Only she didn't know the half of it, the one denominator that was so hard for Harm to deal with. "I understand."

"No, you don't. There are things that _I_ don't understand." Like why three women had all looked nearly identical. While Diane and Katherine had some differences, Mac and Katherine were almost identical. Maybe if he had lost Katherine a different way it would have been easier to cope with her death. They way that it had happened, he'd been rendered useless. "She died in my arms. . . On my birthday. . ." He trailed off, wishing he could erase that piece of history from his mind. "We were _together_ when they broke in, pulled her off of me. . . I was held back, too weak to do anything. . . I was forced to watch as they cut her and then set her on fire. . .Then Kale knocked me out. . . I don't know why I was allowed to live." In truth, he would have been happier dying with her.

Harm swallowed hard and brushed away the solitary tear that fell from his eye. "When I woke up she was almost dead. . .I threw a blanket over her, doused the flames and held her. She wouldn't take the blood I offered. . .and then she asked me to wait for her. . . so I did. . .I waited."

Despite the shift in their relationship, Mac felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. She now understood why it was so difficult for him to 'let go', Harm was still waiting for Katherine and always would be. Part of her wanted to run away and hide her newly broken heart. There was a reason why he'd never voiced his love for her. While Mac loved him deeply, his heart belonged to someone else. "You're still waiting, aren't you?"

"I don't know anymore because I feel something so strong for you. . .It's challenging what I felt for her. . . It's almost making those feelings and memories disappear." Sometimes he wanted to make those memories disappear so that he could explore his feelings for Mac without having a barometer to measure them to. Deep inside, he knew the wait was over. Katherine was a memory and just that. The only link he had to her was the blood in his veins and even that had been watered down through the centuries. "I want you, Mac. . . I need you."

The range of emotions Mac had just experienced had almost drained all energy from her. It was foolish, she knew, to trust him despite the many times that they'd let each other down. She didn't have the strength to fight her feelings anymore. It was time to give in, damn the consequences. "I need you too."

**0845 Local  
****JAG Headquarters  
****Falls Church, Virginia**

On his way to the break room, Harm crashed into Mac who was coming out with a piping hot mug of coffee which, luckily, didn't burn either of them. "Excuse me, Colonel. . .let me help you clean that up." He took a few sheets of paper from the counter and squatted down to clean up the mess he'd made. "How was your weekend?" He couldn't help the smug grin when her eyes met his and a shocked expression registered on her face.

Mac cleared her throat and took a breath. "Nothing special, Commander. . .Spent a lot of time in _bed_, resting."

"You weren't feeling well?" He asked innocently as he wiped up the rest of the mess and tossed the wet paper in a trash bin.

"I was a bit exhausted." She replied and brushed just a little too close to Harm as she made her way back to the coffee pot. "Never mess with a Marine and her coffee, Harmon." Mac went about preparing her coffee and then made a show of licking clean the spoon which she'd used.

Harm groaned at the sight knowing full well that she was just doing it to torture him. "Sorry about that. . .You can let me take you to lunch and call it even." He tried the charming approach, using that sexy grin which he hoped would win Mac over.

"Can't. . .I have a few meetings today. . . I'll see you in court, counselor." Mac brushed against him as she passed, chuckling when he groaned once again. "Suck it up, sailor."

"Looks like you two finally made nice?" Sturgis' voice startled Harm from his mental images of his weekend with Mac. It was difficult letting her go in the morning, but he knew he had to. Though he could control the office into believing that they were TAD together, he wasn't about to backlog the office to indulge in Mac.

"Yeah, we're on speaking terms again." Nonchalantly, Harm reached for a coffee mug and filled it with hot brew. He took a sip, deciding to forgo adding any condiments. He needed the jolt of drinking black coffee; hopefully it would help him get rid of the fog in his mind from lack of sleep and improper nutrition. Harm hadn't quite fed except for the last pint of blood in his fridge and that would barely tide him over. "You know us, Sturgis. Ebb and flow."

"Mmmm. . .More like Oil and Vinegar. . .By the way, you look a little pale."

"Yeah, I ran out. Didn't realize it until this morning." Harm shrugged it off and leaned against the cabinet just next to the coffee machine. "Not the first or the last time, I'm sure." He only hoped that the day wouldn't prove to be a stressful one else he would have to lure someone to the men's room and use them for blood.

"I'm sure you can slip out and get some during lunch." As Sturgis reached for the coffee pot he noted a specific scent on Harm which he'd never smelled before. It wasn't on his uniform but more like soaked into his skin and radiating from his pores. It was a sweet, intoxicating scent. Though faint, it was there. "You slept with her." He accused and the answer was confirmed when Harm spewed coffee, choking on the liquid. "Which means you also drank her blood." This too was confirmed by a renewed choking fit.

Harm poured out the rest of the coffee and grabbed a napkin to clean up as much as he could of the mess he made on himself. He took a deep breath, thankful that vampires couldn't choke to death and then turned to glare at his oldest friend. "How did you know?"

"I can smell her on you." Sturgis confessed, grinning idiotically as Harm proceeded to blush. "Wow, didn't know our kind could do that." He sipped his coffee and leaned against the opposite cabinet. "So, when are you going to turn her?"

Groaning, Harm pushed himself away from the cabinet and motioned for Sturgis to follow. "This is definitely not a discussion to have here." He weaved his way through the bullpen and towards the office, closing the door behind Sturgis who had followed. "You know I can't turn her." He said, setting into the chair behind his desk while Sturgis slid into the one at the front. "I turned you which means I'd have to _ask_ for permission to turn Mac. . .I'm afraid of what The Collective will do if they find out she looks like Katherine."

"Don't you think they already know?"

Harm had considered that time and time again but it never made sense to him. "You think that they did this on purpose? A test?"

Sturgis shrugged. "I know they like to play games with us. Seth especially has thrown every obstacle in your way that he could."

It was unpleasant to think of Mac as just an obstacle. She was more than that and he could sense it from the moment they met. By choosing to push her away, he'd endangered himself greatly and constantly felt the inner demon waging a war with his good side. "I don't believe they know. Kale does."

Now it was Sturgis' turn to spew coffee. "What?! He's here? He's not supposed to be here."

"I know. . .Mac and I bumped into him at a coffee shop. . ..It's been so many years and he still wants to destroy me. . .I'm just afraid he'll use Mac to do it." He scrubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. "I may have to die to keep her alive."

The centuries hadn't been kind to either of them but they'd been absolutely dreary for Harm. He'd lost his life mate and practically lost his soul before being forced to hunt after vampires for the rest of his life. Sturgis too longed to find the other half of him and was slowly starting to give up hope that she existed in this world. It was his own drive for a life mate that had pushed him to champion for Harm and Mac. They were meant for each other even if Harm's past had collided with his future. "I hope it doesn't come to that. . .If it does, you can trust me to make sure that she stays safe."

Throughout the centuries, the worst torture Harm had endured were the memories of Katherine. She was woven into the very fabric of his soul and almost impossible to get rid of. Often, she would haunt his dreams and extend his nightmares. "I need to ask you a favor and it's a _huge_ one."

Sturgis stared wearily at his friend. "I'm not going to like it am I?"

"If something happens to me, make Sarah forget me. . .Erase her memories of me." He took a ragged breath, realizing that his favor was absolutely huge. After sharing blood with a mortal, memories were much harder, if not impossible, to erase. Those sorts of bonds were so difficult to break. He just didn't want her going through the pain that he did. "Please."

"You know that won't be easy."

"It will if you can get The Collective to help and Seth owes me that much."

Reluctantly, knowing that Mac would hate him if his promise ever got out, Sturgis conceded. "Okay."

Outside, Mac came out of her office and made a beeline for the fax machine that happened to be situated just across from Harm's office. She wanted to _try_ and act normal around him, as if nothing had happened. She figured ignoring him was probably the best way to get scuttlebutt moving, so she decided to make a copy of the fax and make the delivery herself. In time the novelty would wear off and they could maintain professional decorum. Harriet and Bud were proof of that.

"Time to change the subject." He warned Sturgis and then waved Mac inside. "How may I help you, Colonel?" He couldn't help the sultry grin he gave her any more than she could help the blush that tinted her cheeks.

"The evidence on the Duffy court martial just came in. . .You may be interested in a copy." She handed him the file and wasn't too surprised to find Sturgis smirking at her. "You know, don't you?" At his nod, she settled into the chair next to him with a deep sigh.

"For the record, Harm didn't say a thing." Sturgis' grin widened almost mischievously as he stood up and waved between the two of them. "So, I guess this means I don't have to keep that secret anymore." He leaned forward almost as if to tell Harm a secret and then said conspiringly, "Mac let it slip once that she was in love with you." He was sure that the Marine wrath would eventually catch up to him but Sturgis just didn't care. His friend deserved a little love in his life. Maybe it would give him something to truly fight for. "I'll see you in court." With that, he up and left before either of them could attack with questions.

For her part, Mac wasn't upset but only relieved to have a friend like Sturgis. "He's a good guy. . . .I want to rip his spine out, but he's a good guy."

"Let me know if you want help with the spine ripping thing." He chuckled, remembering all of the stunts that Sturgis had pulled through the centuries. "Thanks for the file. I'll make some notes and send them over once I'm done."

Mac hesitated a moment before leaving and decided to just give in to an idea that she had. "I really didn't come in here for that. . .I. . .It's just that. . .How about we go out to dinner tonight?" It was silly to be nervous, they'd had countless of meals together, but this time, she knew, it would be different.

Amused, Harm settled back into his chair, flyboy smile firmly in place. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

Her answer only made his smile go up in wattage. "They guy is supposed to ask the girl out, not the other way around."

"Independent woman, here." She said, smiling coyly at his amusement. With a huff, she came to her feet and pretended to walk away. "I mean, if you are too macho to let a girl ask you out. ."

"No, no. . .What time shall I pick you up?"

"Eight."

"Attire?"

Oooh, now that was a good question. Though casual was more her style, Mac could honestly say that she was in the mood for a dressy kind of place. "Suit and tie." She had a certain dress which she'd purchased a month earlier. It was bought on a whim and was dangling behind her bedroom door, begging to be worn. She just hadn't found the person to wear it for until now.


	11. The Path

Hello Gang!!

I hope we've all recovered from the Turkey coma... Mine was so bad that even the Net decided to comatose itself. Most of my plans for the week didn't work out but it was still a nice weekend, not long enough. Didn't get in the writing I was hopng for and this baby wasn't checked so it wasn't ready to post. Always happens huh? Yeah, I am getting tired of it.

Anyhoo,here's chappie 11. Some cute H and M moments. :)

Enjoy!

Jackie - Going broke but enjoying it... ;)

**Chapter 11 – The Path  
2330 Local  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station**

Why was it that plans had a way of never working out? Sure, _certain_ things would follow their course, but most tended to veer off track much as her day had. The desire to have a nice, dressy, romantic evening was squashed when Mac was ordered off of her current case and sent to Norfolk. As the daylight began to dwindle down, she had a sneaking suspicion that dinner would have to be cancelled.

Harm offered to cook, suggesting that she head straight to his place from Norfolk. He picked up a spare uniform and even managed to locate and pack those infamous cowboy jammies. He knew she would be too exhausted for anything else but he needed to spend the night with Mac – even if he just held her. Though drinking some of his blood had revived her incredibly, Harm was sure that she wasn't actively taking B-12 vitamin and, eventually, the lack of blood in her body would wear her down.

Using her spare key, Mac let herself into the near darkness of his apartment. The only light was that of the lamp on his desk. Though she'd made the drive from Norfolk in just over two hours, it was still late and the two of them had work in the morning. Sighing heavily, she hung her coat on the rack, removed her heels and left them next to the door with her briefcase. She would have figured that Harm was in bed until the familiar sound of running water drew her towards the bathroom.

Mac slipped her uniform off, draping the blouse and skirt on the top of the dresser. The last of her clothing fell away before slipping into the shower with him. "Do you normally shower in the dark?"

Chuckling, Harm turned to face Mac and then drew her into his arms. He kissed her slow and deep, enjoying the feel of her body against his own. Harm could feel the exhaustion in her body and kept a hold on her even after they stopped kissing. "I _am_ a vampire, Mac. . . Besides, it's not _that_ dark in here." He motioned towards the glass blocks that made up his bathroom window and the soft light that slipped through from the street lamps outside. "You know, mortals _can_ see in the dark, somewhat."

"Not if it's pitch black." She pointed out and stepped under the spray of water. The warmth felt wonderful over her tired body and Mac welcomed one of the simplest pleasures in life. "I thought I'd never get here."

Leaning against the side wall, Harm stared as Mac raised her arms and raked her fingers through her hair while standing under the water. They had showered together the evening before. It was awkward at first and then playful. He was amazed by the ease that they quickly fell into in the span of two evenings. Then again, it shouldn't have surprised him that they could no longer fight the attraction which had always pulled them together like opposing magnets.

Reaching around her, Harm took the bar of soap, lathered up his hands and then handed the bar to Mac. "Just relax." He whispered into her ear before placing his hands on her shoulders. Harm kneaded her muscles gently, applying more pressure when he encountered a knot. "Jeez Mac, I think your knots have knots."

She chuckled and tilted her head to the right. "Try that spot there."

The action halted his movement altogether and his eyes focused on that very tempting flesh of her neck. Harm licked his lips as if savoring the taste of her, something that had been haunting him since the very first time. He bit his cheek, hoping that the painful sensation would stop him before his animal nature took over. His hands fell away from Mac's body and Harm spun around quickly trying to put as much space as possible between them. Damnit, he needed to feed – especially with a temptation like Mac being so near. "I ah. . .I'm going to warm up dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

He expected the objection. Although Mac had a healthy appetite, she rarely ate when she was _this_ tired. "You need to eat." Harm growled out and decided to make a hasty retreat before his desires got the best of him. After toweling off and dressing, Harm headed to the kitchen and popped a plate of food into the microwave.

As the food warmed, Harm pushed in a certain spot under the island which opened up a hidden, mini refrigerator filled with bags of blood that had arrived earlier that day. He took a bag and emptied the contents into a wine glass, then tossed the empty bag into the garbage. "I gotta stop doing this to myself." He said, referring to the lack of blood in his system. It wasn't that he was purposely trying to keep himself from feeding, but when Mic became a permanent fixture in Mac's life and they didn't see each other as much, the cravings had waned slightly.

He took a whiff at the blood and then swirled the liquid around the glass before taking a long sip. Harm practically deflated against the island as the euphoric feeling rushed through his veins, nurturing his body and mind. With each sip he took, the craving for Mac's blood decreased until it was something akin to a memory. Eyes closed, he savored the sense of strength pulsating through every nerve and fiber. He barely registered where he was standing until the annoying 'ding' of the microwave brought him back to the present.

"Are you okay?" Mac stood on the opposite side of the island with a look of confusion that changed to amusement as Harm stared with an aloof expression. She shook her head and sighed. "Never mind. I'm not too sure I want to know." After popping up on a stool, Mac breathed in the savory aroma and conceded to the meal which Harm placed in front of her. "Amusing how a smell can make you hungry."

Harm knew a thing or two about that. Mac's scent was positively alluring. He took another long sip of the red liquid and remained at the opposite end of the island, leaning against the cabinet. It was better that way, he thought. Though Mac had accepted his condition, he wasn't too sure that she would keep her appetite with him sipping blood next to her. Curiously, Harm studied her, noticing the faint circles under her eyes and a pale complexion that she wasn't wearing that morning. Working at JAG was far from easy. Though it wasn't a war zone, verbal combat had a way of affecting someone in ways a bullet never could. "How'd you feel today?"

"Ah, he speaks." Mac looked up and smirked. She was done trying to force him to talk when it was obvious that something was wrong. If there was one thing they both shared, it was the ability to close up until it bottled over. She swallowed down a bite of food and pointed the empty fork towards him. "I don't mind saying that _you_ did a number on me this weekend. . .I'm still pretty tired."

It wasn't as if he didn't know that he was the cause for her exhaustion, but it still bothered him. "Sorry about that. . .It's just. . .It's complicated."

Mac waved him off. "I'm not really complaining. . .It was wonderful." She blushed at the thoughts running through her mind. Every touch and caress set each nerve ending on a rampant fire. At times, Mac thought she'd stop breathing and would have happily died in his arms. Even moments ago, his hands on her shoulders had sparked to life sensations that still had her tingling. And then he stopped abruptly. "What happened to you a few minutes ago?

"I was wondering when you'd ask."

"You were hoping I wouldn't notice." She pointed out with a smirk. Mac thought about it for the briefest of moment which was all it took for insecurity to rear its ugly head. "This is moving too fast isn't it? We've only been together for a few days and there I went, barging into the shower."

Harm chuckled. "If there's one thing I don't mind is your barging into the shower. . .And this is moving just fine." After all, they had done the platonic thing for years now. With Katherine, they fell into bed the first night and never once thought about the consequences. They were lifemates and consequences were always easily dealt with.

"So, then, what was it?" Still new as it was, Mac couldn't help but have a million bad ideas come into her head. He'd mentioned once that he could get called away at any minute. What if The Collective had _ordered_ him not see her? Wait, did they even know about her? Damn, she was giving herself a headache on top of the one she already had.

Tilting his head to the side, Harm's eyes searched for that certain spot that had caused his erratic behavior in the first place. She was wearing one of his sweatshirts, the collar low enough that he could see the delicate piece of flesh. It still called to him but he would be able to resist, for now. "Your neck."

Confused, Mac arched an eyebrow and brought her hand up to touch the spot he was referring to. "What about it? I don't still have a bite mark do I?"

Harm shook his head. "No, it's just that. . .in the shower, you tilted your head to the side. . ." He trailed off and sighed. A million years would pass and Harm would never fully grasp the art of conversation. Sure, he could do the lawyerly thing in court, but when it mattered, he tended to be at a loss for words. Katherine always teased him at how unromantic he could be. "Let me try to make it simple." He offered but took a moment or two to formulate the simplicity. "I haven't had any in a while. . .Blood, I mean. And when you tilted your head. . ."

"You thought I was offering again?" She wasn't. Though she had to admit that having him drink from her was kind of a turn on. "I was hoping you'd work your magic hands on that spot actually. . .I have a crick in my neck from holding the phone there for two hours." Mac massaged the area to make a point and made a face when that dull ache resurfaced.

Clearing his throat, Harm glanced away from that spot and turned to his wine glass. He finished it off, still feeling the craving for more. It was likely that three more bags would be consumed before the end of the night. He waited patiently for her to polish off her plate of food before taking another bag and pouring it into the empty wine glass.

"Harm." He turned to find her looking at him with a soft smile, a cute expression that he'd rarely seen through the years. Mac usually gave him that look when he was doing something that she found silly and amusing. "You _don't_ have to hide."

"I thought that you'd be grossed out watching me drink this stuff." He poured it into the wine glass and tossed the empty bag away.

Mac hopped off of the stool and took her empty plate to the sink. "Nope. . .I'll admit, it's a bit unsettling but, I'll get over it." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled. "Dinner was wonderful. . .How about you finish that off and we head to bed?" She felt his hand sneak up around her waist, pulling her body to his almost suggestively. Chuckling, Mac slapped his hand away and turned to face Harm. "To _sleep_, Harm. . .I'm too tired for anything else."

Harm finished off the blood, washed the glass and then shut down for the night. He headed into his room, finding Mac under the blankets. "Are you warm enough?" From past experience, he knew that Mac could get cold rather easily. He slipped into bed and pulled her close.

Mac snuggled closer to him, savoring his warmth. "I'm good now." Sighing, she settled into him, allowing her body to relax for the first time all day. "Your body isn't very sensitive to temperature change is it?"

"With us it's as subjective as it is with mortals. We can handle the cold much better. Heat we need to be very careful with."

"Why heat?"

Harm shrugged. "For the same reason as mortals. Heat can kill you faster than cold can. It can take a while for your body to be at the point where you freeze to death. Fire can kill you in minutes."

"When you crashed into the ocean and Seahawk picked you up, they said that you were hypothermic."

"My body was trying to go into dead sleep to repair itself. They kept trying to wake me up. . .Had I stayed out there, in the ocean without rescue, I would have died."

It was a morbid line of questioning, but Mac was curious as to his weaknesses. She needed to know if her fears that night could be validated. The events that had unfolded because of the crash had a habit of haunting her at night. "Would you have drowned?"

"No. We can't drown. Technically, we don't have to breathe to survive. The only reason we do is mostly because it's a human characteristic."

She turned to look up at him and felt his breath on her skin as well as the rise and fall of his chest. "You _do_ breathe though. . .Doesn't it give you any benefit?"

"From what I understand, it helps to keep the blood alive longer. . .Makes us require less blood, too. If we weren't breathing, we'd need to drink twice as much."

That made sense, after all breathing took oxygen from the air and infused it into the blood. "I get it." Mac listened to the sound of his breath and the beating of his heart beneath her fingers. She could have lost him and nearly did all because she was too stupid to say 'no' to a man she never really loved. It was difficult not to traipse into the past and to that conversation on the Admiral's porch. So many truths were unraveled and yet, had she never discovered Harm's true self. She understood, now, his concern about losing her. Only, she didn't know how deep and complex that vein ran.

There was a relatively easy solution – he could turn her, but Mac knew that it wasn't as easy as her mind made it out to be. There was probably some odd ritual and a long, painstaking process that she would be willing to endure if it meant that they could stay together. "Times like this, I wish I could read your thoughts." Harm said suddenly and turned down to look at her. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." She tried to reassure him, not wanting to take a step into variable darkness. Too tired for deep conversation, Mac concentrated on his breathing again. "Don't worry about it." But he would worry about it though Harm chose to let it go - for now.

**0545 Local  
****Harm's Apartment  
****North Of Union Station**

Mac awoke to an empty bed and a muffled clicking sound – the type generated when someone was at the computer. She raised her head, peering through the louvered windows and focusing on the object of her affections. He was sitting at his desk, working only with the light of the computer monitor. She saw him lean back and raise his hand to his chin in a pensive position. All he needed was that damned pen, the one he often had in his mouth. Pens, stir sticks, tooth picks – Mac was fairly certain that he would wrap his lips around those objects as a way to torment her. She'd never let him know how much it worked.

After stretching, she jumped out of bed and padded across to the living room. "You didn't wake me up so we could go running." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his waiting lips, then leaned against the corner of the desk. He didn't automatically hideaway his work, something that he usually did when strategizing an offense to her defense.

Harm motioned to the windows. "It was raining a little while ago." He kept his eyes on the screen, feverishly typing with two fingers.

"Considering how old you are and all of the time that you have to learn things, why aren't you better at computers?" The man could fly a plane that had more cables, microchips, hard drives and computing equipment than Microsoft and yet, he was almost comical on a PC.

"Sometimes, they cause more problems than what they solve. . . Let's not forget that op-ed piece I never wrote." While Immortals had grown accustomed to using computers for _some_ business, not all of their members were so keen to use machinery to do their bidding. It frustrated Harm immensely that The Collective had decided to join the 21st century, shifting their operations to a means that was more accessible and, in his personal opinion, dangerous to use. "Damnit." He banged his fist on the desk and sat back to stare at the screen.

Mac found it all rather amusing. "Cursing the computer won't get it to like you more." She teased and then turned to look at the monitor. There were words, represented by symbols, that she could not understand. "Sanskrit?"

"This language has no name." He pointed at the screen and at two symbols that were a mass of swirls ending with periods. "Centuries ago, our first Enforcers created a language used to communicate strategic advances of our enemies. . .It stuck and is one of the first things that we need to learn." The language was not spoken. In fact, there was no way to communicate each word into a sound. "It's strictly a written language which has prevented some of our enemies from deciphering it."

"Have they deciphered it?" She asked, staring at each beautiful symbol with amazement. Mac loved languages and they loved her. She'd picked up German relatively easy and Russian, including Cyrillic, was almost a cinch.

"Yes, but not for long. The beauty of the symbols is that they can be changed at will." He didn't elaborate more on the subject. For one, it was considered treason and for another, it would be impossible to explain their meanings. "We have to install a special language setting on a computer to get those symbols." He pointed out, then sent a quick response back to the sender of the message. "You need to stay at your place tonight." He said as he stood up and made his way to the kitchen where he turned the coffee maker on. "I'll be. . .uh. . ._busy."_

Mac didn't need a more elaborate explanation to know what he was referring to. "I promise not to follow you this time." Her curiosity had almost killed them both as well as another innocent. She wasn't about to let that happen again.

"I would appreciate that." Not that he didn't already have a plan, just in case she decided to try and tail him - a 'thought' that he would put into the Admiral's mind in order to keep Mac busy. It would mean another day of exhaustion for her but he preferred tired over dead.

**1856 Local**

**Fashion Center at Pentagon City**

**Arlington, Virginia**

Best laid plans, even brainwashing the Admiral, had nothing on two women and a shopping mall. "This was a great idea, ma'am." Harriet said as the pair stepped inside of Victoria's Secret. To this day, Mac wasn't entirely sure why women bothered with lingerie, it was bound to come off anyway. Still, trips to Vickie's Secret were always fun.

"Harriet, out of the office, it's Mac." She pointed out for the second time since entering the mall. Spotting a certain rack, she swiftly headed over and began looking for her size. With a grin, she held the item up and stared at it with amusement.

"A girl doesn't buy something like that unless she has someone to wear it for." Cheekily, Harriet pointed out. While Mac had resigned herself to avoiding men after her botched wedding, with the playing field open, Harriet was waiting for Harm to make his move. What no one knew was that she had seen them kiss the night of Mac's engagement party. Harriet hadn't meant to pry, but at that particular moment, she'd looked out and seen the illicit kiss. Knowing she was overstepping a boundary, she asked a burning question. "Is that for the Commander?"

Mac knew Harriet would ask and prepared to steer the ship away from that particular iceberg. But, when the moment of truth arrived, she just didn't want to lie or mislead one of her closest friends. "Yes, it's for Harm." She prepared for yelling, lots of yelling, but instead acted perfectly normal. "Why aren't you surprised?"

Grinning, Harriet walked away, turning to rummage through the clearance section where various cute, pink pajamas were hanging. "All of us at the office know you two like each other. We don't discuss it, but we know." There was a certain way that everything seemed to stand still when the pair occupied the same room. Yesterday, Harriet noticed the air charged with something though the two remained consummate professionals. "Of course, I also saw you two making out the night of your engagement party."

Bracing herself against a display rack, Mac tried to wrap her head around that revelation. Someone _had_ seen them. "You saw."

"I didn't intend to, but I remember the Admiral was looking for you two and I peaked out at that moment and. . .I was surprised you were still going through with it." With Bud she too had misgivings and cold feet. It didn't really help that the man spent the night before their wedding in jail. Yet, she loved Bud, wholly and truly – that was something she didn't see in Mac or Mic. "I don't pretend to know everything. Bud wasn't exactly the tall, dark and handsome guy my mother wished for me. But I fell in love with him and it all worked out. I was deliriously happy when we were planning the wedding."

Mac smiled in remembrance. As the maid of honor, her duties required her to follow Harriet around and help pick out all sorts of things. From dresses to flowers and even the wedding cake. It was all in good fun but it left an ache in her that was hard to fill. "I enjoyed it."

"Yes, but you didn't enjoy anything about planning your own wedding." A time that was supposed to be stressful but fun was more like a chore. The planning had made her weary and so Mac decided to pass most of it over to Mic who was excited to help. "I know you loved Mic if not you wouldn't have spent all of that time together . . .But, I don't think you were supposed to marry him."

Words she knew to be true rang in her head as she followed Harriet to the clerk and paid for her purchase. They then decided to stop at the coffee shop in the mall, each ordering a little something to tide them over. "So, how long have you and the Commander been together?"

Mac chuckled at the question. Thankfully, she knew that she didn't have to ask Harriet to keep that news to herself. "A couple of days, really. . .I don't even know where we're going with this." She couldn't tell her everything but hedging towards her insecurities would, at least, loosen some of the anxiety she felt. "I only went to Mic because I thought Harm didn't want me."

Harriet raised her brow in surprise. Was the woman dense or blind? "I think he's always wanted you."

"Well, he had a funny way of showing it."

"Not all men are the openly affectionate type. . .Take Bud, his idea of romance is taking me with him to the latest Star Trek convention." The two laughed at her husband's obvious alien obsession. "Enjoy it. . .And if it gets serious, fine. If it doesn't, I think you two have the ability to remain friends, good friends, and that's really all that counts."

While Harriet had a point, Mac wasn't sure she could go from friend to lover and back to friend again. Not with Harm and especially not with all of the secrets that had been dropped into her lap. "I can't just go back to being friends with him." The pull was much too strong now and Mac knew, deep inside, that it would be absolutely impossible to resist him. "I'm afraid of investing myself and then losing him."

It was a valid point, one that even Harriet worried about when Bud was called away from Washington. "Bud's not a pilot like Harm, but we're in the military. . . .Every day that we put on our uniforms, there's a chance that one of us won't come home. We're taught to fight and kill for our country no matter what job we do."

Mac hadn't thought of it that way. Besides The Collective, there were other ways that they could lose each other. The thought made her sick to her stomach as she recalled the night before her wedding. "I almost lost him once."

"And I could have lost Bud when Raglan took him hostage." Sighing, Harriet leaned forward across the table to make her point. "I think that you need to stop worrying about what you can lose and start enjoying what you have."

"You're a really good friend, you know that Harriet?" Mac was lucky to have her and Bud even though casual moments like these were not very common. They would have to remedy that as soon as possible. "Whenever we decide to make this public, maybe the four of us can go out sometime?"

Harriet nodded in agreement. "I'd love that and I'm sure Bud would too."

With that Mac settled into an ease that she hadn't felt before. A calm that came after you weathered the storm. She knew things with Harm would never be perfect. Parts of his life were cryptic and Mac knew she'd never unravel all of the mysteries. Yet, she was willing to set aside her fears and fight for them; even if it meant fighting him.

An odd tingle at the back of her neck made her feel awkward. Mac glanced over her shoulder finding nothing of interest as other patrons made their way through the shopping centre. _That was odd._ She thought and shrugged the sensation off as nothing more than paranoia. They were two attractive women, alone. People had a habit of staring, especially when they were in uniform. Government town or not, it was somewhat of a taboo to find a pretty woman in a military uniform and people had a habit of staring too long.

What she didn't know was that the admirer could care less about the military or anything that encompassed law and order. He was accustomed to chaos, a trait that was passed to him the day his father turned him into a Vampire. Now, he just needed to wait – revenge was a dish best served cold.


	12. Love’s Requiem

****

Yup... It's time to buy your tickets and jump on the angst roller coaster of love. ;) Both of these parts were fun to write and it sets up something that will occur in the very near future. :)

**I think the main question on everyone's mind - Will Harm turn Mac? Ah, well... you'll have to wait.**

**Enjoy!**

**Jackie**

**Chapter 12 – Love's Requiem**

**December 24, 2001  
2234 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown**

Harm slipped his SUV into an empty spot just across the street from Mac's apartment, glad to arrive before the weather got worse. Snow was blanketing the area and he wanted nothing more than to curl up next to Mac and enjoy the rest of the evening by the light of the fire place.

Smiling, Harm glanced up towards to her apartment where he could see the twinkling white lights of her Christmas tree. His usual, melancholic Christmas Eve's were going to be a thing of the past.

The Holiday Season, ever since Katherine's passing, had been horrible for him. Often alone, he chose those particular days to reminisce about the things he'd lost and how he could have saved her. When he'd found out about Harmon Rabb Senior's disappearance, Christmas had become nothing more than a regular day. It held nothing special anymore, no meaning until Mac helped put the ghost of his great grandson to rest in the Taiga.

Despite visiting the wall that evening, Harm no longer felt heaviness in his heart but a warmth and a peace that he never wanted to live without.

They'd even chosen that night to let the JAG staff know of the change of their relationship, something that was received positively, especially from Chegwidden. At Sturgis' attempt to make him a little more romantic, Harm was considering a road trip in the spring. Now that his Classic Corvette was restored, it was suggested that he and Mac take a trip to some place secluded – a cabin in the woods. Though the idea was quite intriguing, Harm knew that Sturgis' urging had more to do with him turning Mac than any specific romantic overture.

Tightening his coat around him, Harm shook himself out of his thoughts and raced across the street, careful not to slip on the ice near the curb. Though cold didn't affect immortals much unless they were exposed to it for a long period of time, he still didn't enjoy the feeling of brisk air rushing up and under his clothing.

Using his key, Harm let himself into Mac's apartment and stopped short as he was treated to a sight that he wasn't quite expecting. At Bud and Harriet's party, Mac had been wearing a sexy, feminine, black suit with pink lapels that made a perfect 'V' across her chest. She'd looked adorable and he couldn't resist stealing a few kisses which caught the interest of the other party guests. While he hadn't expected to walk in and find her still wearing that suit, he'd figured that Mac would have changed into some sort of jammies. This was so much better and so unexpected that he was sure his heart would pop out of his chest.

Straightening ornaments, Mac stood by the tree wearing a deep red chemise with fluffy white trim along its hem that rested just above mid-thigh. Along with the Santa hat, Mac painted the picture of the sexiest Mrs. Clause he'd even seen. Santa never had it so good. "Close the door, you're letting a draft in." She turned and gave him a coy little grin and continued her musings as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Harm was sure his heart had stopped as he stood motionless, unbelieving that she'd taken such care in perfecting their first holiday together. Setting himself to motion, he closed the door, toed off his shoes, removed his coat, jacket and tie, then crossed the room to reach her. From behind, he wrapped his arms around Mac, pressing his body against hers. "Are you my Christmas present?" He whispered to her ear, his voice husky.

Grinning, Mac leaned up against him, arching her back so that she could tilt her head in order to look at him. "Yes. But you can't un-wrap me until _after_ midnight."

"It's almost midnight." He tried to reason knowing Mac wasn't likely to bend so easily. Now that she had his attention, she would draw this out. It would be sweet torture. "I've been a good boy."

Chuckling, Mac turned in his arms and faced him. "A _good_ boy? Right! Let's face it, trouble precedes you, Rabb. That isn't the sign of a good boy."

"I'm _trying_ to be a good boy?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and recanted his previous statement.

"Well, since you are _trying_. . ." She teased, her hands moving up and down his chest until they slipped behind his neck. Harm tightened his hold on her, pressing Mac's body almost painfully against his. He kissed her long and slow; his need for her had been growing uncontrollably like it always did. Before long, she could feel his hand slipping down and under the fabric covering her thighs, moving upwards until she broke the kiss and smacked his hand away. "Now, now, Commander. Patience." She purred and gave him a quick kiss before she snuck out of his embrace and headed towards the kitchen casting a backwards glance that called to him like a siren's song.

Helpless, Harm followed though he didn't stop ogling Mac's legs until he noted a pleasant scent. "I smell hot chocolate." He leaned against the kitchen cabinets and watched as Mac took a ladle and stirred the dark liquid in a pot. "Ooooh, is that what I think it is?"

"Yup! Home made hot chocolate and I have a box of glazed donuts over on the coffee table." The recipe was special, given to her by a Spanish classmate at college. The result was a decadent, thick concoction that would warm you instantly. "It's almost ready. Grab a couple of mugs."

After pouring the piping hot liquid into each mug, Mac followed Harm out to the living room and settled down on the sofa. He pulled her close and placed the donut box on top of Mac's lap, promising to lick the sugar off should any fall on her. Sighing deeply, he let the atmosphere wind him down.

Instrumental Christmas tunes played softly in the background and the glow from the fireplace and Christmas lights made Mac's apartment even cozier. How many centuries had passed since he felt _this_ wonderful during the Holidays? Katherine's death had been the crux of a change that nearly destroyed him. He wound up spending hundreds of Christmases alone or in the arms of women that he really didn't want.

He felt her hand on his arm – a gentle caress that awoke a tidal wave of sensations. How could he ever deny this for so long? Was he really protecting Mac by keeping her at arms length or was he protecting his broken heart? "This is the first time in centuries that I haven't felt. . .lonely." He took a sip of the hot chocolate and sighed in contentment. That was one of the most difficult things he had to admit, especially to Mac. Words always seemed to fail around her especially when he needed her to hear them. "Thank you for being here with me."

Harm grimaced at the words knowing that his true feelings were guarded by the strong walls erected around his heart. Even in his happiness, he could feel the pain of a lie that he believed in order to keep Mac alive. She could never know that Harm was in love with her so deeply that even his past admiration for Katherine was now marred, tainted. By not getting closer, he truly believed that he was saving her.

Mac too was having her own thoughts about the past and how it would have effected the present had her marriage gone through. "Last Christmas, with Mic, I _really_ wanted it to be perfect. . . I tried so hard and we wound up fighting about how he practically bent my arm backwards in order for me to put the ring on my other finger." She never should have taken that damned ring in the first place. She was a smart and rational woman whose defenses were low when another man offered such a grand attention. Mic had chosen the perfect time to snag her. In retrospect, Mac honestly believed that the turn of events would have forced Harm to play his hand. Instead, she ended up committed to the wrong man. "I feel so horrible. . .I know I crushed his heart and I don't know how to make that right." Heading to the Indian ocean seemed like a good idea at the time – a way to punish herself and nearly tank her career in the process. Even AJ had let her know it was a step back. At that time, she just didn't want to step forward, Mac didn't feel she deserved it after hurting a good man. "I guess I shouldn't have let it go as far as it did. Especially when almost all of the fights were about you."

The fighting, Harm knew, would have been a regular occurrence in the MacKenzie-Brumby household. Mic wasn't a bad guy – a reason why he could quite stand the man – but, he did seem like the type who was used to dominating every aspect of his life and Mac just wasn't the submissive type. A survivor, she had a fiery spirit and would have fought him at every turn. Still, it saddened him to know that he'd been correct – Mic would have made her miserable if they'd married. Worse yet, their friendship would have made things even more unbearable. "I'm sorry, Mac." He really was.

"Let's change topics. . .Actually, there's a present I want you to open." She slipped out of his arms, placed her mug of chocolate on the coffee table and then picked up a flat box from under the tree. "I wanted to get you something special which is damned near impossible knowing what I now know about you." She handed him the box and took her seat just next to him.

"Special, huh?" He was going to comment on how her outfit was special enough for him, but doubted that Mac would appreciate it. Instead, he tore through the wrapping paper and into the non-descript box which held the item. Harm pulled out the gift and stared at it with surprise. His fingers gently ran over the carefully crafted wooden shield that bore the O'Rabhartaigh family coat of arms. It was done perfectly and with an old world craftsmanship that reminded him of centuries gone by. "My God."

The only surviving crest had been destroyed in a fire hundreds of years earlier when his family home in Ireland had been a victim of arson - a feuding neighbor set it on fire. Harm had eventually purchased the land where the home stood and repaired as much as he could, adding certain modern conveniences. He'd never thought about the coat of arms until now. "Mac, I. . .I haven't seen the crest in centuries." The detail was almost identical to the original and only the colors were a little off. "How'd you find this?"

Mac smiled. "It wasn't easy." She confessed, "Your last name is practically ancient. . .But I got in contact with someone in Ireland who does traditional coats of arms. . .I hope it's accurate. He had to do some research."

Harm ran his hand over the lacquered wood, feeling the grains under his finger tips. "It's perfect." He didn't get the chance to reminisce for too long as Mac took the crest away from him, slipped it back in the box and placed it on the arm chair. She turned to him with a particular look that he knew too well.

"It's almost midnight." Mac stepped in front of him and took his hands, threading her fingers through Harm's. Moving forward, she placed her knees on either side of him and settled herself in his lap. "I really _do_ love you." And though she never expected to hear those same words from him, Mac knew that his feelings also ran deep. Her right hand gently caressed the side of his face, fingers coming down, running over his lips.

Harm didn't question her though curiosity was begging him to. He knew the answer; it usually lay in a lover's touch. Instead, his arms flattened her body against him as his lips sought out her own. His lips moved from her lips to her cheek and across to her neck, an area he was absolutely fascinated with. She always tilted her head back for him, always expecting the bite. Instead, he licked at the shell of her ear and then whispered, "Merry Christmas, Sarah."

**January 13, 2002  
****1655 Local  
****Harm's Apartment  
****North of Union Station**

Mac was on her back, lying on Harm's sofa, her head buried in a paperback novel. Engrossed, she didn't hear him sneak up. "Why are you reading that?"

Lowering the book, Mac pinned him with an annoyed glare. "You _do_ know that it's dangerous to sneak up on a Marine, don't you? I mean, no matter how much of a vampire you are, I can still kick your ass."

Harm grinned. Her threats at bodily harm were always amusing considering that he could incapacitate her with the tip of his pinky. She did look absolutely adorable with her face flushing pink from embarrassment though.. "I didn't know that you _could_ sneak up on a Marine." He teased knowing that he would be burnt dealing with her fire. He just couldn't help it. "I guess you were too carried away reading. . ." He settled himself on the top of the coffee table and snatched the book to peak at the title. ". . .'My Vampire Lover.' Catchy title."

Trying to hide her embarrassment, she snatched the book back. "I'm a woman, Harm. Reading romance novels _is_ a chic thing."

So it was but romance novels _did_ seem a bit too uncharacteristic for Mac. "Uh huh. What happened to the Clancy novel?"

Mac sighed and shook her head feeling like a fool for being caught with such a book. "This is research, okay." She waved the book at him. "There aren't a whole lot of Vampire books out there besides a Vampire 'Encyclopedia'." She used quotation fingers and grimaced. "And what a load of shit that was. Full of Hollywood mumbo jumbo. . .Not that this is any better." Disgusted, she flung the book to the opposite end of the sofa and sat up. The book _did_ have some rather sexy scenes but it wasn't research and she was beginning to think that information just didn't exist anywhere except in his head.

"If you really want to know something, you could ask."

The look of disbelief on her face stated otherwise. "I don't know where to start. . .And I don't want to ask you anything stupid."

Harm understood her concerns. When he was first brought across, he too had many thoughts but no real way to verbalize them into intelligible questions. Through time, he learned more than he ever wanted to. "Don't be too embarrassed. . .I read those novels too." He confessed, chuckling when Mac stared with a perplex expression. "Enforcers are urged to look into lead, no matter how stupid. . .We need to make sure our kind isn't writing things they shouldn't."

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope. . .Ever read Stoker's 'Dracula?"

She nodded, "Of course, it's practically a classic."

Harm snorted and shook his head. "Well, that little 'classic' is what made the term 'vampire' a household name. Before that, there were legends but not something so readily available." He motioned towards the bedroom and came to his feet. "I'm gonna hit the shower."

She watched him go amused at how much you could learn from one small conversation. "Research." Groaning, Mac pulled herself up and headed after him. "Which suit are you wearing?" She yelled, hoping that Harm could hear her over the sound of water. Standing in front of his closet, she ran her fingers over the fabric of his clothing.

Harm poked his head around the glass wall. "The black one all the way to the right." Grabbing said suit, Mac laid it out on the bed along with a white dress shirt.

Her dress was hanging in the center of the closet amongst Harm's civilian and military attire. There was something to that, a simple, domestic combination that warmed her. Taking the outfit, Mac placed it on the bed next to his suit and began to get ready.

"You know, we really don't have to go." Harm said stepping out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist to find Mac sitting on the edge of the bed, bent over slightly, and fiddling with her shoes. He stretched out across the bed, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "We could always stay in bed." Fingers grazed an exposed thigh, sliding upwards until Mac slapped his hand away. "Hey!"

Chuckling, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "As good as that sounds, I didn't get all dressed up for nothin'" She pulled out of his embrace and resumed her previous task. After tightening the strap on her heel, Mac stood up from Harm's bed and studied herself in the full length mirror. "How do I look?"

Harm rolled to the side and gazed at her through the mirror. Thoughts of seduction raced through his mind as he hungrily stared at her. "You look good enough to eat." Seconds later, he was behind her with arms wrapped around her waist as his lips kissed her neck His fangs extended and teased the delicate skin which she offered to him as she tilted her head back and to the side.

It was a touch that she was finding nearly impossible to resist. "You're not going to seduce me, Harm. . .Maybe later, but not right now." Grinning she pushed herself out of his embrace and pointed to his clothing. "Get dressed, _now_."

With a groan, he accepted defeat. "Fine. But, I'll have you know, this whole double date thing is going to be a disaster." He loved Sturgis like a brother and though Bobbi Latham wasn't a bad person, Harm knew of all the tricks that she was capable of. The two had been dating for a few months now and things were getting a little more serious as the days passed.

"Bobbi can be a handful but I'm sure Sturgis can handle it." She pointed out with a grin recalling that she wasn't too terribly surprised to find that the Congresswoman was also an immortal. The woman did have a certain predatory prowess to her. "Did you ever stop and think that maybe it'll work out?"

"No." Harm just couldn't see Bobbi as being 'the one' for Sturgis. "It's a bit more complicated than it just 'working out.' You wouldn't understand." Then again, he never really got into the whole soulmate/lifemate thing with Mac. She just didn't know that there was a perfect match for each of them.

"Complicated, huh? Now there's a word I've never heard you use before." She teased and headed towards the living room in hopes of finishing off the last chapter of her silly romance book. Mac stopped when the phone rang.

"Mac, can you get that? Whoever it is, just take a message."

"Will do." She walked across the room and towards the small desk Harm had situated in a corner of the living room. "Hello. . .Yes, the Commander is not here at the moment, may I take a message?" She asked the voice on the phone and then proceeded to rummage around his desk for a pen. "Okay, give me just one moment." Opening one of the drawers, she was surprised to find a bit of a mess, Harm was usually a very organized individual. Still searching, she pulled out an oval frame and placed it, picture side up on the desk. "Go ahead." On a note pad she jotted down the information diligently until her eyes caught sight of the picture.

Only it wasn't a picture, but a painting – a portrait to be more exact. "Thank you." She placed the phone back on its cradle and took the frame in her hand. Her brow furled and confusion registered on her face as she tried to understand what she was looking at. It was a portrait of her and Harm, each dressed in what appeared to be medieval dress.

Whoever drew the portrait was a true artiste capturing the love in the couple's eyes as they stared at each other. Mac knew it wasn't her in the portrait but couldn't quite understand the significance until she turned it over and stared at the names written on the back. _"Katherine and Harmon._ Oh, God."

Unsteadily, she made her way to Harm's sofa and crashed down, the portrait still grasped in her hands. _'Katherine and Harmon.' _She lived through the ups and downs of her relationship with Harm never understanding why, if they were so attracted to each other, they couldn't seem to make it work. Now she understood and the reality was positively unsettling. Mac didn't want to be someone's dead ringer, especially when the woman had meant so much to Harm. Jesus, was that the only reason he was with her? Was this what Diane had gone through?

Harm chose that moment to emerge from his bedroom half dressed with his shirt wide open and holding two different color ties. "Okay, which color? The light blue one or the dark grey?. . .Mac? Are you okay?" He placed the ties on the kitchen island and came to her side. When he did, he saw what she was holding and an overwhelming sense of guilt came over him.

He hadn't seen that portrait in months, choosing to try and ignore the memories by shoving them into a drawer. This wasn't an element of his past that he wanted to visit with Mac. He knew it would be difficult on her, even more difficult on him. "Mac, talk to me."

"This could be me." She turned the portrait so that he could see. "Katherine?"

Nodding slowly, Harm grabbed the portrait and ran a hand over the images. Memories flooded his mind as he recalled the hours that he and Katherine had sat together while the painting was drawn. "It was commissioned for our wedding. The artist was a friend of ours."

"Wedding. Oh." It never donned on her that vampires could or would marry. What was the point if you were designed to live forever? "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me I looked like her?"

"I wanted to. . ." That was a lie and it wasn't one that he was prepared to feed her. "No, no I didn't. . .I didn't want to tell you. I'm sorry." He reached for her hand in hopes to smother the whole incident before it blew up in his face. Instead, she pulled away. "You need to listen to me. . . Let me explain."

Standing up quickly, Mac moved away from him, retreating to the relative safety behind the kitchen island. "You don't have to explain. . .I understand."

"No, you don't understand. . .There are a lot of things that you don't know."

She waved him off and hoped that her anger would stop the tears from falling. "You told me you were no longer waiting. . .Why do I feel like you still are?"

"She asked me to wait." His argument was sounding flat, even to him. Sturgis had been right all along; the wait was going to kill him. Harm returned the portrait to his drawer and shut it closed hoping to shove the memories away once more. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to wait for. And then I have these feelings for you."

He took a step towards her and Mac took two steps back bringing her closer to his dinner table. "I'm starting to understand why, all of a sudden I've gone from being in control to losing myself when I'm around you. . .You lied to me when you said you couldn't control me. You can and you've been using it."

Out of all of the accusations, Harm wasn't prepared for this. She had believed him once, why was she back peddling now? Had he ever given her a reason to believe that he _could_ control her? "What? No! Mac, I can't read your thoughts. I can't control you and even if I could I wouldn't. You know I wouldn't."

All that she knew was that he'd woven a story but missed an essential piece which placed her right smack in the middle of it all. Mac weighed her feelings carefully and felt disgusted over the fact that she'd become an addict to his touch, especially after tasting his blood. Her love for him had grown so much since then that she felt as if she would burst from the feelings deep within. It was always the case with life mates, feelings would grow rather than diminish. But she didn't know that. To Mac it seemed like the ultimate betrayal. "I don't believe you."

"You care for me because you were meant to. I haven't tricked you. . .I haven't lied to you."

"What about Diane? She found out about Katherine and left you, didn't she?"

"No. . .Diane never knew about Katherine." And that was the truth. The demise of his relationship with Diane came when he'd made the decision to show her the monster within. "When she found out what _I_ was, it scared her. She left me but it wasn't meant to work out."

Mac snorted. "What? She didn't like getting bit?"

The barb hurt and though Harm tried to brush it off, Mac could see in his face that she'd scored a small victory. "I could read her mind and control her thoughts. . . .You can't be with a person like that, the relationship would never work. . .Katherine couldn't read my thoughts and I couldn't read hers. . .I can't read yours."

Mac found the whole 'reading minds' scenario rather ridiculous. "_Right_. . .I'm special."

"More than you know." More than he wanted to admit. It had taken him years to get this far and put himself in a position of trusting someone with his heart. He had tried bedding other women, hoping that spending the night in someone else's arms would heal the pain he had inside. It hadn't worked and merely made the sense of guilt even deeper - until Mac. "The very first time we kissed, down at the docks. . .I think, since then I realized what you meant for me. . .But, I didn't want you to get involved with me. . .I didn't want you to die for the same reasons Diane did."

She understood the hidden undertones of his last statement. "Holbarth didn't kill Diane because of a sexual harassment issue did he?" Suddenly, the fear that had been squelched the night she shot him was coming to the surface again.

Harm shook his head. Sadly, that had all been misinformation in hopes to lead Krennick off of the scent. It hadn't worked and, as a result, Harm, himself, had been held suspect of murdering Diane. "There's a group of mortal vampire hunters called The League of Light. Holbarth was a member and had been after me for two years. . . The League doesn't care if we're good or bad. To them, we're just monsters." For the most part, the group was nothing more than a nuisance that immortals learned to cope with. Sometimes a deranged member or two would exact their form of revenge on the wrong person. "Holbarth believed that Diane was one of us. He waited for the right moment and killed her. I avenged her."

"That's why you tried so hard to get away from me that night."

He nodded. "Yes. . .Holbarth wasn't innocent, Mac. He needed to die. Crushed against the hull and dock, by bullet or with my hands, he was meant to die."

Holbarth's death and Harm's involvement had often leaded to sleepless nights that were now nothing but a waste. If Harm had shot the man, nothing would have happened. There would not have been any consequences and her memories would have been erased. It all seemed very unfair. "Where do I come in? _Why_ do I look like them?"

Harm threw his hands up in the air and began pacing the small space between the coffee table and the sofa. "I don't know!" He'd tried rationalizing her likeness, often wondering if Katherine had returned to him somehow. It was impossible, the feelings for Mac were much stronger. "You aren't the only one surprised. . .Imagine, six months after Diane's death you appear. I thought I was losing my mind. And then I realized that I couldn't read your thoughts. . .I couldn't manipulate you." He stared at her for a moment knowing that the significance meant nothing to her. He'd never divulged about lifemates for hopes of never having to turn her.

This time, the fear in her eyes reminded him that his life was hanging by a delicate string. It was time that he explained in hopes that she would save him before it was too late. "Every one of us has a mortal or immortal that we're meant to be with. . .A lifemate who's mind we can't manipulate."

"You were created for Katherine." As silly as it all sounded, Mac _did _believe that every person had a counterpart. Unfortunately, so many walked the Earth and died without ever finding the perfect fit. "She died and, what? Someone else becomes your. . . whatever the hell it is?"

Harm shrugged. There wasn't an immortal's handbook with information about such things. "I don't how it works, Mac. . .I don't know why I can't read you. . I only know that I can't. . .Since Katherine, you are the only woman that I've been with that I couldn't read."

Mac would have been touched if thoughts of past girlfriends didn't come to mind. "Annie?"

"I could read her like a book."

"Jordan?"

"Same. I could read her."

And then the last one, a person that Mac tried to stand, if only for his sake. "Renee?"

Ah, that was another case altogether. "Renee is an immortal like me. . .We could read each other." That relationship had been a mistake from the get go. His want to put distance between himself and Mac had nearly made him miserable with the Video Princess. "She wanted to try and find a way for us. Some of our kind _have_ gone on to marry, despite them not finding their true match. It just doesn't work out." Renee had also realized that she was no match for Mac. "I _can't _read you, Mac. . .It doesn't matter who you look like. . .Do I still think of Katherine? Yes. . .What happened to us was unfair. . .But, ever since you've been in my life. . ." He trailed off, not wanting to gamble too much with emotions that were so raw, and too intense. He loved her, but part of him was still waiting and always would be. Harm reached out to touch her, hoping that contact would win her over. "I don't know why this happened. I don't know how long this will last."

Mac hadn't realized that, with each word, he'd bridged the gap between them until she felt his hand on her arm. She raised her head and saw the sadness in his eyes. Those feelings, ones that both of them were having trouble controlling, came to the surface. She had to fight it this time; had to fight that control that he seemed to have over her. "You're never going to turn me, are you?"

Harm glanced down at his hands, which were caressing the palms of her hands. "If I turned you, it would be so dangerous for the both of us."

"No. . .You're just afraid that if you turn me, whatever you had with Katherine would be gone, for good. . .I can understand that. . .But, I can't keep feeling so out of control around you." She pulled away from him, heading towards the front door before she lost her nerve. "I have to go."

"Mac, don't."

She sighed deeply and stared at him. "I know I can't stay away from you but, for now, I've gotta try."

Harm stood still as she rushed past him, grabbing her keys off of the coffee table before heading out of the apartment. In the deep recess of his mind, he could feel the darkness taking its hold, baiting him. It would be so easy to fall back to old ways. It was much more fun to be bad. The sick emptiness filled him urging the beast to be unleashed on humanity. There were so many he could kill, so much blood he could taste starting with Mac's own. The beast had no conscience; it was a wonderful way to live.

The thoughts of Mac's death on his hands severed his homicidal thoughts and had him reaching for his one lifeline. He hurried to his desk and punched the speed dial number that would connect him to his strongest ally. "Sturgis. I need your help."


	13. The Funeral Of Hearts

****

If you weren't worried about Kale you should be. ;)

This chapter and 14 both have a cliffhanger.

I'm trying to re-work 15 and hopefully have it going before Christmas. We'll see. Some parts don't make sense to me. LOL!!!!

Anyhoo... Enjoy!

Jackie

Chapter 13 – The Funeral Of Hearts

**Three Weeks Later.  
1820 Local  
****Whole Foods Market  
****Georgetown**

"Shit!" Mac cursed when she felt her Corvette sputter and then die. "Why me? What the hell else can go wrong?" The last three weeks had been a disaster. After breaking up with Harm, nothing in her life was complying. It was as if some otherworldly force was hell bent on destroying every aspect of her life.

Work was almost unbearable, especially when trying to secure another TAD assignment in hopes of keeping her distance from Harm only to wind up with him sitting second chair. He'd been cordial to her, as much as possible given the fact that they'd been intimate, a fact that hadn't bothered her until then. The Admiral, who was normally quite lenient, had driven her to the brink of insanity. When the TAD finally did come around, the end result was nothing more than a waste of time for the Navy. The airman she was defending decided to sing like a canary during cross. Then there was the sea sickness, something she'd never experienced before.

Once home, Chegwidden informed her that she could take the rest of the week off. Four days to relax and unwind if she could only shake the feeling of unease - a tension that seemed to want to strangle her. It was as if an icky fog that manifested itself no matter where she went and could only mean that someone was watching. It was a feeling that Mac hoped to never experience again. Dealing with one stalker in her lifetime was more than enough.

Now, as she sat in the confines of her vehicle, Mac could feel the hairs sticking up at the back of her neck. The prickly sensation sent a shiver down her spine and female intuition was practically screaming at her to run. There was just one problem: Marines didn't run. Using the car mirrors, Mac checked around the lot, happy to find that while she was not completely alone, the other patrons seemed harmless enough. "I'm losing it." With a huff, she rubbed the back of her neck, hoping to erase the unease. "I need a vacation." And she would get one too – four whole days. With renewed enthusiasm, Mac threw open the car door and headed into the store.

Mac took a shopping wagon and pushed it down the produce aisle, stopping to grab a bottle of orange juice. As she continued in the section, that eerie sensation settled in the pit of her stomach. A cool wind swept through her body, chilling her from inside out. Casually she looked around, hoping not to arouse suspicion if someone was watching.

To her right, a woman with two playful children stood by the vegetable section, rummaging through the stacks of broccoli. Behind her, an older gentleman with a Montreal Expos cap was placing lemons into a clear plastic bag.

Mac took a few apples and placed them into a similar bag and then into the cart. Each step she took made her feel as if she were moving deeper through a gauntlet. "Get a grip, Marine." She said to herself and wondered what she had done to deserve all of this bad fortune.

Not even in sleep was she afforded a respite. A particular nightmare plagued any type of sleep that she tried to have. Not even naps were exempt from the horrible visions that her psyche had conjured. It was always the same dream – She was running through a forest trying, without success, to outrun a wild animal that was chasing her. The animal pounced at her legs, tripping Mac and sending her tumbling down a ravine where a fallen tree finally stopped the decent. That's when the beast attacked and searched out her throat only to tear the flesh and kill her instantly.

With a sigh, she shook the thoughts lose and continued shopping, gathering only a few more items before heading to the check out. While waiting in line, she called for a taxi, opting to tow the car back in the morning. A relatively light traffic had her home in no time.

She considered calling Harm, just to let him know that she was back in town. Mac was sure he'd head over the second he knew she was in some kind of distress, but her actions towards him had been rather despicable and she was sill trying to sort out why she'd acted as she did. As was her nature, Mac had jumped to conclusions about Harm and his relationship with Katherine. It was unfair to accuse him of brainwashing her, especially when Mac fundamentally knew that he wouldn't do such a thing unless she was in severe danger.

Being hurt afforded people the right to act foolishly and, in retrospect, her accusations were definitely unfounded. At the time though, it made sense that he had controlled her in hopes of turning Mac into a version of Katherine. Why else was she so out of control with her feelings when it came to him? It wasn't until she was out at sea that something else struck her as interesting.

The whole soulmate/lifemate thing sounded preposterous at first. As much as she wanted to believe in the perfect match, this was real life and not a fairytale. Then again, she had warmed up to Harm's 'condition' and willingly accepted him for what he was. You couldn't get more storybook than that. It was that lifemate issue which prompted her to contact Sturgis on the guise of needing information on a case.

"_You shouldn't have disappeared like that." _He'd admonished her after collecting the information she was looking for. _"Harm's worried about you."_ And Mac was worried about him and what repercussions, if any, this would have on both their personal and professional relationships.

She knew that Sturgis, despite being such a good friend to Harm, would shed light on current revelations. Gut instinct told her that he was a good man and was only looking out for his friends. So, she'd asked him and felt like a fool for doing so. _"Sturgis, what's a lifemate?"_ Harm had explained, or tried to, but most of his words went in through one ear and out of the other.

Mac could hear the Commander's deep sigh and the faint sound of a door closing before he settled into a chair. _"I was hoping to stay out of this as much as possible." _He had, except for the 'motivational' conversations with Harm that he hoped would get the man together with Mac. _"All of us have someone that we are supposed to be with. Someone that makes up for our faults and fills in the empty gaps. . .When one of us finds that person we know because we can not read or control their thoughts. . .That person can be an immortal or a mortal."_

She still didn't understand that whole 'mind reading' process and why it had such a bearing on whom you could or couldn't be with. _"I don't understand that whole 'mind control' issue. If you love someone, why does it have to matter?"_

"_It shouldn't." _Sturgis confessed as he recalled falling victim to love and the fruitless relationship that had ensued 50 years ago when he'd met an immortal that had absolutely fascinated him. In retrospect it was probably nothing more than puppy love but it had taken him as far as nearly killing someone when the woman was in danger. After almost a year together though, the whole thing fell through and he felt nothing but disdain for her. _"But, if you can read and control someone, even a person that you love, that relationship will self destruct. . .You can't really love someone unless you are willing to allow them their free will."_

Okay, now it had started to make sense. Thinking back to past relationships, Mac was sure that her strong personality had probably irritated her former lovers. Mic had certainly felt the full force of her wrath in times when she didn't feel like complying. She just couldn't wrap her head around someone controlling her mind even if it was just to save her from arguing. She understood now the importance and was more than a little floored at the implication. _"So Harm and I? Are we. . ." _Mac couldn't bring herself to finish the question for the answer brought a deep weight on her shoulders from the guilt she was now feeling.

"_Lifemates? Yes."_ Sturgis was sure of it. He hadn't ever seen Harm_ this_ crazy over anyone to the point that his constant pining over Katherine was starting to wane. _"I know it's__ a__ lot to wrap your head around, Mac__, but __it's true. . .you're supposed to be together."_

"_I thought that Katherine was supposed to be with him."_

"_She was and some of our kind never find another lifemate and are forced to deal with living a half-life. It's rare that he found you."_

"_And even rarer that I look like her."_

Sturgis considered that for a moment and shrugged it off as purely coincidental. _"I know what you're thinking, Mac and Harm doesn't, for one minute, believe that you are Katherine."_ It was true, though at first, the warning bells had been ringing. Three women with the same face was a hard sign to interpret. _"Look, I know that you're probably angry as hell with him and I can't blame you. He isn't exactly tactful in explaining things__,__ but the bottom line is that you can't just keep away from him."_

Oh, she knew that. Not even being at the opposite side of the Earth was really keeping him away from her. Mac thought about him constantly and the way her body was craving his was akin to a junkie needing a fix. _"Why is that?"_

Groaning, Sturgis settled into the more difficult part of this conversation. He really didn't want to know about their intimate functions although he'd teased Harm mercilessly about it. _"Well, the attraction is there from the start, really. You can try all you like to have a normal relationship with someone else but it just won't work."_ It was funny that way and sometimes a bit depressing how the whole lifemate thing was supposed to bring you happiness but it often led to the destruction of someone else in the process. That was why most immortals just didn't let anyone in, unless they were being used as a food source. _"The moment you umm. . .get intimate with your lifemate, whether they are mortal or immortal, the bond can't be broken, ever."_ You just would not fall out of love with your lifemate unless, as in Harm's case, there was someone else that was created for you.

Unabashed with the conversation, Mac continued onward with her questioning. _"What happens if I had his blood?" _She was hoping that it meant he was going to turn her – a thought that both excited and unsettled Mac at the same time. At one point she was ready to give up anything to be with him, a thought that shocked her. However, as time went by, she was considering her life – it had been hell but she'd made it to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and, as unfair as it was, the law was her life. It was the only thing that really made sense and, perhaps, the one aspect that she had some control over.

Several conversations with Harm had informed her that all immortals, eventually, would have to leave their current life and start over again before mortals became suspicious about their lack of aging. She also knew that immortal scientists were working on a serum that would make the user appear to age – something that would reverse the second in which the serum was not ingested. Harm had experimented with the concoction a few times but found that it not only made him appear to age, but it also zapped some of his preternatural strength and abilities – something he wasn't willing to part with.

"_You're not a vampire, Mac. . .It's a little more complicated than just drinking blood. Harm would have to drain you to the point of death and then feed you his blood. . .Then, if you make it, you're one of us."_ If you make it? Could he sound anymore melodramatic? Sad fact was that many would-be immortals _didn't_ 'make it.' The pain of the turn was so bad that it felt as if you were being ripped in two. Though Sturgis had no memory of it, Harm still retained every excruciating detail down to his spine cracking from the seizures that had gripped his body. Then again, Harm had been a very sick man and it was probably a miracle that he was alive now. _"Sorry to cut this short, but I'm expected in court in twenty minutes. Call him, would you? At least just to let him know you're alright."_

"_I will, Sturgis. Thanks." _She did call but not after weighing her predicament all over again. Mac was just too chicken to have a live conversation with the man and opted to phone his apartment, leaving a short message on his answering machine. She promised that she'd talk to him as soon as she was home and had a couple of days to unwind from her assignment.

After storing her purchases, Mac turned up the radio in her kitchen and decided on cleaning out the refrigerator. She donned a pair of yellow, dishwashing gloves and set to removing a cranberry stain from the floor of the appliance. She hoped that doing some sort of work would get her mind off of him, if only for a bit. Amidst singing along with Fleetwood Mac's "Little Lies", she felt it again, that eerie fog like sensation. Only this time the feeling was so strong that Mac careened against the cabinets as she struggled for air.

Try as she might, Mac just couldn't breathe. In hopes that it was due to some form of claustrophobia, she ran out of the kitchen, heading towards the balcony for some fresh air when a pair of hands grabbed her. _"You will do as I say." _She remembered _that_ particular tone, it was the same that Harm used to control others except, this wasn't Harm. _"I said, you will do as I say."_

Mac felt a ruffling in her mind, a strange movement that was compelling her to listen. Instead, she shook her head and turned on her assailant, stomping her right heel on his foot. The man fell back in agony but quickly recovered and took her again before she had a chance to reach a pistol hidden behind her book shelf. "Let me go!" She ordered.

Never one to be denied, Kale struck her hard and then glanced down at Mac's unconscious form. He didn't really want to do this, but the evil in his veins was telling him otherwise. If ever there was a way to fulfill his father's wishes, this was it. And that was more important than his own life or his own happiness. Despite earlier protest, Kale had been bred for revenge.

So many centuries had passed and none of them had helped him complete the task set by his father. It just wasn't interesting enough to kill Harm – suffering would end with his death. No, what Kale had in mind was much more devastating. Carefully, he took Mac in his arms and jumped out of the balcony, landing on the grass beneath with the grace of a cat. There was a lot of travelling that needed to be done and little time to do it.

**  
Four Days Later  
****1900 Local  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station**

There were certain times when the lights just needed to be off completely. Darkness had been his friend for so long. Hiding sins, scars and even his fears. This time, it did not provide that comfort anymore. No, this time, all it did was remind Harm that he was still alone and so bitterly lonely. He cast a jaundiced eye towards the phone and considered, for the tenth time that evening, if he should call Mac. He knew her assignment had concluded four days prior so she had to be there. She'd promised to speak to him after getting back home and unwinding.

What would he say? For days now he had a nagging feeling inside that something had happened but was consoled on the belief that bad news would travel quickly. Groaning, he reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels which was sitting on the coffee table. Again, he unscrewed the top and took a long pull knowing that, if anything, all it would do was give him a light buzz. Liquor just did not have an effect on his kind. It was the act itself which made him feel again, if only a little.

"Harm?" A voice appeared from his doorway and upon inspection, Harm realized that he'd left it unlocked. "Hey? You here?" The room was then bathed in light which exploded into his sensitive eyes like daggers. "Good, you're here."

"Kill the fucking light, Sturgis!" He pressed a hand over his aching eyes and pointed with the opposite hand which was holding the Jack Daniels. "I told you to leave me alone."

"Like that was going to happen." Sturgis knew of Harm's mood better than anyone. While he didn't take offense, he decided to cut to the chase. "I was hoping Mac was here."

Harm peaked from under his hand, his eyes half lidded. "Yeah, me too."

"You haven't even _tried_ calling her?"

"No. She said she needed to unwind after her assignment. Maybe it's a good thing too, in all likelihood she's liable to chew my head off." Lob his head off was more like it. He hadn't quite been tactful in his means of explaining the truth about Katherine. Then again, what was he to say? 'Hey, did I tell you that you and my dead wife look alike? I used to love her a whole bunch but, lately, it's only you that I think about. How about I turn you into a vampire and we can live happily ever after?' Yeah, that would work wonders.

"This won't do a thing but require you to need more blood." Sturgis pointed out and then snatched the bottle away and dumped its contents into the sink. "I'm worried about Mac. I saw her car being towed out of Whole Foods. . .When I asked the manager he said she left it there four nights ago."

Snapping out of his wallowing mode, Harm stood up and walked into the kitchen. "That's not like Mac." If anything, she would have her car towed that very night or the next morning. "She loves that car." Reaching the phone on the wall, he dialed her number only to be greeted by her answering machine. "Hey Mac, if you're there please pick up. . . Look, I know things are weird right now but I need to talk to you. It's urgent." He waited for a few seconds, expecting her to pick up and when she didn't that strange sensation he'd been experiencing grew. Even when angry, she'd still answer, he knew that she would. Something was definitely wrong. "Can you drive me to her place?"

"Sure, I was gonna head there anyway."

The trip over had been nerve wracking. For days he'd been feeling a sense of distress that was gnawing at his gut. Anticipating her arrival had put him out of sorts and he didn't read his feelings for what they really were – fear. It had been too long since he'd had a connection with someone else and completely forgot that when a lifemate was in danger, those feelings would commence. Sleeping with Mac had only intensified those feelings, but he was too preoccupied with their argument to realize what it was until now.

Not bothering to knock, Harm pulled out his spare key, opened the door and stepped inside. Everything seemed to be in place except for movement that came from the curtains over by the balcony. They were nearing spring and though the weather was not as bitter, no one would be crazy enough to leave windows open. Especially not Mac who tended to get cold very easily.

The apartment felt like an icebox and there was a certain tingle in the air, detectible only to immortals, and it put both Harm and Sturgis on high alert. The men took opposite paths - Sturgis towards the kitchen and Harm towards Mac's bedroom. What he found was a clue that his worst nightmare was now a reality. He spotted the object taped to the mirror of Mac's vanity – a postcard with a specific image. Dejected, he stepped out into the living room and held up the discovery for Sturgis to see. "Kale's got her."

"What? Are you sure?" Sturgis took the postcard and stared down at the image. Lush, green contrasted against the harshness of jagged, sea-side cliffs. "Cliffs of Moher. Ireland."

Harm nodded. "Kale has a place a few hours away from my family home." He had been trying for years to tap into Kale's resources and figure out what the rogue was doing back in Ireland. True, Kale was Irish but his family home had been torn down many centuries ago. What distressed Harm the most was the length of time that Kale had Mac."Four days is a long time, Sturgis." For an immortal with the ability and resources to disappear to any ends of the Earth, that was a generous head start. "I knew something would happen to her." He also knew what rogue vampires like Kale were capable of. Their sins were unforgiveable – a straight ticket to hell. There was a reason why mortals believed that immortals were an abomination, a race too perfect to co-exist peacefully. "Kale is going to torture Mac."

Sturgis didn't understand the point. Knowing what he knew about their relationship, anything that Kale could do to Mac, Harm could reverse by turning her. "Why would he torture her?"

"Because, he's going to make me kill her." Verbalizing that thought made him feel like a million hot knives were being pressed into his flesh. Harm felt a pain deep within, so painful it drowned out the hurt he felt when he lost Katherine. Dejected, he sat on the edge of Mac's sofa and buried his head in his hands.

Alarmed by Harm's statement, Sturgis took a seat on the coffee table and stared at his friend, waiting for an explanation. "Okay." When it never came, he prodded for more information. "You can't say things like that and not explain."

"You're a healer, Sturgis. . .You help patch us up and make sure our women have healthy kids. You don't see what I see. You don't know what I know." His vague answer lingered in the air only making his friend that much more curious as to the horrors that Enforcers were programmed to endure. Rogues have been trying to raise an army against The Collective. To them, mortals are meant to be used for enjoyment and food. Rogues didn't want to co-exist. Every race had that group who fought against their government. Immortals were no different. "He'll turn her rogue and force me to kill her." He couldn't handle losing Mac and feared what he'd turn into for the sake of vengeance.

Sturgis shook his head in disagreement. There were rules and while not absolute, it was awfully difficult to get around them. "He can't turn her rogue." In theory, it was damned difficult to create a rogue vampire. Rogues usually targeted murders, rapists and sociopaths; people who's minds are warped so much that they were easy to control. Some people were just evil inside and Rogue vampires exploited that evil to create a foot soldier, a puppet to their vicious wiles. Turning Mac rogue would be a near impossibility. She had memories of her and Harm as well as his blood in her veins – bonds that couldn't be broken unless they lost one another.

Harm didn't want to think about it, much less explain the procedure. The discovery was a recent one, only a couple of years old. It was still a novelty and not readily known in the immortal world. "There's a sedative that acts quickly on the nerves of the human body. You won't be able to move but you'll feel everything done to you." The drug had little effect on immortals themselves, but to mortals, the lack of being able to defend oneself leaves such a psychological impact that makes the change easier for rogues to slip in and begin to mold their victim. He felt Sturgis' eyes on him, following as he stood and paced the living room. "Whatever that does to the mind of a person being tortured is enough for the change to happen. It does take several days though, especially with people who are strong willed." Despite her strong will, with Mac's past, Harm knew it would be _that _much easier on Kale. "It's the one thing he knows can destroy me. . .If Mac turns rogue, I'll have to kill her. . .They'll order me to."

Sturgis stood up abruptly and walked right into Harm's path. "No. There has to be a way to turn her back."

"Once it's done it's not reversible. .There's no way to turn her back."

The two men stood there, staring at each other in a silent conversation. They needed to get moving if Harm was going to find Mac in time. "If you get there and she's a rogue, would you kill her?." Sturgis dreaded asking that question, knowing that often, for duty's sake, they had been asked to sacrifice anything and were expected to comply.

Harm's heart told him one thing, but his head, the one thing he'd counted on for so long, said another. "I'll have to. . .and after I kill her, I'll find a way to kill myself. . ." He trailed off and felt a blood red tear sliding down his cheek. "Get me to Andrews."

**Same Time  
****County Kerry, Ireland.**

If there was one thing that Kale despised, it was quiet. Things were much too quiet which was the original reason why he forced the owners of the bed and breakfast to hand the castle over to him. He'd owned it for over ten years now and, much like Harm, had used it as a retreat when his life needed grounding. Unlike Harm, the place had no meaning for him. His family home had been destroyed when a young Harm had set it on fire in hopes of avenging his love. Really, it was more of a lair of sorts where he could do his dirty deeds without The Collective's prying eyes on him.

It was the perfect place to bring Mac.

The small castle was two stories high with turrets on each of the four corners of the building. There were six bedrooms, a library, a den and the usual rooms most homes had. What originally attracted him to the rather large home were the stories of the castle being haunted. However, if any ghosts did exist, Kale surely scared them away. All of the walls inside of the ancient home were made of stone. The only modern additions were the plumbing, electricity and climate control; the rest remained suspended in history.

Secluded as the home was, prying neighbors were kept far away and any plans of rescue from the outside world could be sensed with his preternatural hearing. From his place on the terrace outside of the library, Kale could see his new toy. The likeness between her and Katherine was absolutely astounding. Oh, there were differences. For one thing, Mac's hair had a few unnatural highlights and her body was much more tone and firm than Katherine's had been. As he recalled, Katherine had the same feistiness as the Marine, however, Mac seemed to have so much more fight.

He'd been in Harm and Katherine's bedroom when she was murdered. He saw the pleading in her eyes as she begged them not to kill Harm. Katherine did not fight but accepted her fate in an almost alarming way. That look in her eyes terrified him still. Had they done the right thing? To this day, he couldn't quite blame her for breaking his father's heart. Living a life devoid of love and then finding the other half of your soul was a powerful attraction. Nothing could stand in the way of the pull your lifemate had on you – nothing. In a way, he was in awe of Harm holding out for so long in regards to Mac. A man willing to put aside life's greatest happiness for whatever the reason was admirable.

Deep inside, he knew he wasn't meant to be _this_ destructive. He wasn't supposed to kill for pleasure and yet it was the life he was forced into once his father's poisonous blood mixed with the anger of losing his family. It wasn't just the revenge which flowed through his veins, Kale and learned to enjoy torturing mortals. Hurting Mac, however, was becoming a true test. He kept seeing Katherine's face, kept remembering the remorse he felt when she died.

His hand, which was normally as steady as a surgeons', shook quite noticeably when he made a laceration down her spine with a knife. Kale still held the knife, blood now dried on its sharper edge as he tried to remember why he kidnapped her in the first place.

Stepping inside, he moved towards where Mac hung by the arms from a T shaped bar that was attached with chains from the ceiling. Her eyes were open but unseeing, lifeless, though very much alive. The drug he'd used was quick and effective, working to sedate the person to the point where they were conscious but could not move. With that conscious came awareness of what was being done as well as the excruciating pain.

Kale took Mac's hand and turned it over to expose her wrist. "I know this hurts you." With the tip of the knife, he made a line from the base of her palm to the middle of her wrist. "I can't apologize for it. Trust me; this is for your own good." A reckless life with no rules had to be more appealing than Harm and The Collective's pathetic society. With his opposite hand holding her arm steady, Kale licked the trail of blood and then fastened his mouth to the wound. He drank from her, slow and deep until he sensed her heart start to cease.

With great effort, he pulled away – it wasn't time yet. He needed to be patient just a little while longer. "I want him here. . .I want him to see you when you become mine." Until then, he would dangle her between life and death.


	14. Cyanide Sun

****

Hey hey gang!!

I hope to get a couple more chappies out before the New Year. By my count. There should be, in total, between 5-6 chapters left. I was on the fence between doing two fics (a sequel) or just putting it together. I decided on together. works better.

Besides Mac being turned or not, I assume you guys are curious as hell over who Katherine was and why Mac looks like her, well you'll have answers in later chappies. ;) I have a couple of angles that I need to work with.

Anyway...On to the exciting moment of the fic. Tie yourselves down. ;) It's bumpy!!!

enjoy!

Jacke

Chapter 14 – Cyanide Sun

"This emptiness I've made my home

Embracing memories of dreams long gone

One last caress from the corpse of love

Is all I want underneath the Cyanide Sun."

"Cyanide Sun" by HIM.

**2220 Local  
****County Kerry, Ireland.**

For an immortal, being stealthy wasn't something that needed to be learned. For the most part, they tended to automatically blend in to all surroundings without being detected, if they so required. For Harm, the adrenaline rushing through his body was almost impossible to control in order to keep his position hidden. After gathering what he could from his family's home he'd hopped on the motorcycle he kept as transportation and pointed it towards Kale's place.

It was no secret that the other immortal was waiting for him and yet Harm desired to use the element of surprise in breaking into the home. From previous surveillance he knew every square inch of the place, but was in doubt as to how far-reaching the security system was. There had been upgrades, motion detectors installed around the perimeter. Their location, however, was a secret. Spending so much time at JAG had cut his trips to Ireland short and his surveillance had suffered.

That was why he lay crouched behind the log of a fallen tree using night vision goggles to scope the terrain around Kale's home. The lights inside were off and he wondered briefly if, maybe, he'd chosen another place to hold Mac. Maybe the postcard had been a ruse in order to buy him some more time? As far as Harm knew, Kale had homes in four other countries.

This home, in particular, was his most extravagant – something that most of their kind tended to enjoy owning. It was a show of power and wealth, two things that Harm could care less about. The castle, he knew, was some sort of a trophy for Kale, a way to show that though he wasn't part of The Collective, immortals like him could still amass a tidy sum.

Harm glanced up as lightening crackled above. The wind shifted and a familiar scent of the rain and sea brought him memories of his boyhood. Once he was a young man who was too ill to even care for his family and now, with all of his strength and power, it seemed he still couldn't care for those who he considered family. With a huff, he dropped the goggles into a rucksack and began moving towards the castle.

Between the trees that hid him and the short stone fence that surrounded the perimeter, there was nothing but an empty field. He needed to keep low to the ground and look out for any motion sensors that could tip Kale off. Moving slowly and keeping low to the ground, Harm crossed the field in a zigzag pattern stopping only to plaster himself against the stone wall. From that vantage point he could now see that there were lights inside the home, only extremely vague from his previous distance. He sat down and leaned against the wall as he prepared the quiet attack. He didn't have many weapons, just a long knife which was attached to a sheath around his right leg and about five sticks of dynamite that he was slipping into the pockets of the black BDU trousers he wore. In his worry, the two ChemTek pistols had been left in the plane that brought him to Ireland. It did not matter though; he would finish Kale off one way or another.

Leaving the rucksack at the wall, Harm jumped over and made a quick dash for the castle. There were no guards, no dogs, nothing in the way of a deterrent. It was almost as if he was being welcomed into the home and the uncertainty that lay in wait. He found an entrance on the side, a wooden door which opened to the bleak and dank kitchen area. Pots and pans hung from a brass rack, covered in cobwebs, which dangled over a wooden butcher's block. There was no smell of food which made him realize that Mac probably hadn't eaten in just under a week. It wasn't likely that Kale would feed a prisoner.

Moving out of the kitchen and towards the dining area, his eyes began to pick up the flicker of light coming from a fireplace at the great hall. He could smell it then, the specific scent that most rogue vampires seemed to have and followed it up the steps to the second level of the castle. There, he found another flickering of lights which he followed with his knife drawn and ready to strike. Harm pressed himself up against the wall and inched forward slowly until he came to the opened door where the light came from.

The smell that now assaulted his senses made his stomach churn in disgust. There was a hint of blood, mixed with an acrid smell of chemicals, charred wood and a faint scent of a woman's perfume. His hold on the knife tightened as he pushed himself off of the wall and turned into the opening, immediately squatting down in case any attack came from above. What he saw, once he righted himself, brought him to his knees.

There, dangling from ropes that were strung through a metal ring anchored to ceiling trusses, was Mac. "Oh no." She was a mess. Clothes torn and filthy, blood dried to the visible parts of her skin. Her head hung to the side and if it wasn't for the slight movement of her chest, he would have figured that she was dead. "Mac?"

Harm had seen worse – he'd _done_ worse. Yet, the scene before him was sickening, nauseating. He would have given his soul to erase the image that he knew would remain seared into his mind. In his rush to rescue Mac, he'd let his guard down and never realized that Kale was standing behind him until he blacked out from a hit at the base of the skull.

When Harm came to, he was sitting on the sofa, his head propped up against one of the armrests. Straightening, he glanced about the room, noticing he was in either a den or a library. A fire raged in the confines of a fireplace. Kale was standing next to where Mac was hanging. "I did a good job baiting you." For years the bait never seemed to work. It had drawn out the war between them and given birth to a renewed sense of destruction.

"Yes you did." Harm agreed. He'd taken the bait this time and walked straight into a trap so carefully set that there was no means for escape. In fact, he knew that the snare began tightening months ago. "You came looking for me in Washington."

Kale turned to him and grinned. "I did."

"Why?" It was fruitless to search eachother out. The one thing both men had to adhere to was to never culminate the feud between them. As an enforcer, that stupid rule had forced Harm to continue on, waiting for the day that Seth and The Collective would give him the permission to end Kale's life for good.

"I needed to see if you were still as miserable as I was." Kale's words were punctuated by an unexpected crackle of thunder that shook the home's foundation. He glanced fondly at Mac and then crossed the room and took a seat at the opposite end of the sofa. "I found my lifemate last year." He deadpanned and waited to see that knowing expression in Harm's eyes.

Most rogues were unable to ever find a lifemate. However, the few lucky enough to find their other half were often saved from the evil that motivated them to kill senselessly. Kale would have gone back to being the man he was before his father's vengeance corrupted him for life. "Surprising? I was surprised myself." At first, the feelings were so intense and confusing that Kale tried to keep himself away from the woman. Eventually, the desire, the connection, was too strong to resist. "It was incredible and I began to realize just _why _Katherine _couldn't _stay with father. Why she _had _to be with you." He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's an undeniable pull. . .I'm surprised you held out with her for so long." He pointed at Mac and shook his head. "I started to feel sorry for you. . .Living without Katherine, it must have been torture for you."

"It was. It still is." He glanced at Mac and frowned at the predicament he'd placed her in. If only he would have resisted harder. If only he would have mentally pushed Mic into staying around and marrying her. If only. . . "If you found your lifemate why aren't you with her? Why are you doing this?"

Kale laughed mirthlessly. The sound seemed as if it stemmed from the depths of hell. "She's dead. . .I tried to turn her. . .Did everything I could, but since I'm not a member of your stupid little vampire club, I couldn't find a fucking immortal to help with the Turn." He had tried to find anyone that would assist him. Someone that made sure that the woman wouldn't suffer. With all of the centuries of knowledge under their belts, creating a vampire was still a very tricky business. Even Immortal scientists could not understand why some could go through the transition while others died before the virus had a chance to work its magic.

"No one would help me. . .So, I sat there for three days watching Beatrix in pain. . .There wasn't a goddamned thing I could do about it. . .She waited for me to go off in search of blood and then took a gun and shot herself."

Harm knew better than most how almost impossible life could become without a lifemate. He'd lived it, breathed it and was consumed by it – a debilitating pain that made you long for death. While most immortals would find a way to kill themselves, Harm craved blood and vengeance. That combination left a gaping hole in his heart that was only now starting to mend. "I'm sorry Kale. . .No one should have to feel the pain of losing a lifemate."

Kale nodded in agreement. "I can't image what it must feel like for you. . .losing two of them." He sighed dramatically. "I came to Washington to ask for your help. . .I wanted to find a way to stop the monster inside. . .I knew that if anyone of us could help, it would be you. . ." After Beatrix's suicide the heartbreak had made Kale long for something else – a different existence and a chance to remedy his monstrous past. He wanted to live without the shadow of his father's hatred looming over him.

"And then I find, to my surprise, a woman with Katherine's face. . ." Kale hadn't expected to find Harm in love again. Most vampires could never find another match and the chances were so slim that most just gave up. The first time he'd seen Harm and Mac together, Kale tried to fight the hatred and anger. "You know, I wanted to stay away. I tried to stay away, but the poison in my blood wouldn't let me. . .I started to remember what my father wanted me to do." That's when he approached them at the café and the rest was history.

Standing, he walked back over to Mac and ran a finger down the front of her shirt. "She's close now. . .Just a little more and. . .it's over." He took Mac's wrist and bit down, taking just a little more blood.

From his seat, Harm was trying to hold his composure. If he launched himself at Kale, surely he would finish Mac off. He needed to be calm and rational. Emotions could not rule him in this battle. That said, he jumped out of his seat when Kale pulled on Mac's hair in order to tilt her head back to receive more of his blood from a cut on his own wrist. "Even if you kill me, you still lose. . .I can't imagine the pain of having to kill someone you love. . .I'm sorry you'll have to go through it, but it's the only way to end all of this."

Using Harm's knife, Kale sliced through the ropes that were holding Mac up. Her body dropped to the floor with a sickening thud which he ignored. He turned his back on her and casually walked to the adjoining den where two swords hung on a wall with his family's crest.

Harm ceased that opportunity to come to Mac's side. "Mac. It's Harm. . .I'm here. . .Hold on." He pushed down on her abdomen and then tilted her to the side, striking hard at her back, hoping to get her to cough up the blood she'd been forced to swallow. "That's it. . .let it out." He hadn't spotted Kale's return until he heard the 'swoosh' of a sword slicing through the air. Moving just in time, Harm rolled away and angled his body so that he could kick Kale's shin.

The fall had the sword skipping away from Kale and landing just in front of the fireplace. As he scampered towards his weapon, Harm came to his knees and reached for a pillar candle that was burning atop a round, wooden table. When Kale made to strike again, Harm grasped the candle firmly and flung melted wax at his face. "Son of a bitch!" Kale yelled, stumbling backwards in pain.

That momentary lapse in attack offered Harm the chance to run to the other room and take the second sword from the crest. He stared at the weapon wondering if he still remembered how to wield a blade. It had been centuries since he'd actually used it to fight – currently he only used such a weapon as a method of severing heads. Kale's second attack came unexpectedly and Harm barely had a chance to move away. He wrapped his hand tightly around the grip and quickly moved backwards as Kale sliced wildly at the space between them. The force was so violent that Harm stumbled backwards, falling through a wood and glass door that led outside to the balcony. From his back, he was powerless to stop the attack and braced himself for the familiar feeling of a sharp blade cutting through skin. Be it divine intervention or dumb luck, the blade missed his heart by half an inch. Despite the pain spreading through his chest, Harm reached up and grabbed Kale's arm, holding him still as he threw one leg upward, kicking Kale in the face with a blow so forceful, the man was thrown back into the den.

Carefully, Harm wrapped his hand around the blade in his chest, feeling the steel slice his palm as he pulled the weapon out. Blood gushed from both wounds, saturating the clothing he was wearing. Rain water falling on him only made each wound that much more painful. He could sense the dizziness that came from such wounds and fought the feeling of weakness that could render a vampire useless. He would heal soon enough but would require a few bags of blood to repair all of the tears his skin sustained.

Glancing upwards, Harm could see Kale moving from the den to the library next door. He rushed after him, recalling that Mac was unconscious and vulnerable to any attack. Reflected on the walls, Harm could see a bright light emanating from the other room. Rushing through the doorway that led to the library, Harm could see a fire spreading across the room and, in the middle of it all, was Mac.

"Remind you of something, Harm?" Laughing malevolently, Kale stepped out through the balcony and leapt off and into the night.

Without his consent, his mind began racing back in time to a fateful night that had sealed his future. There, laying on the floor and being licked by flames, was Katherine's body. He could still see her eyes staring back at him, knowing that she was leaving him behind. A bloody tear slid down his cheek and he was back at the present again. Mac was awake now but unable to move. He could see the fear in her eyes as she pleaded for him to help. "Harm!"

"I'm coming." Braving the fire, Harm leaped over a sofa, landing just in front of Mac. The heat was intense and it made it almost impossible to see. He grabbed her body and made a run for the balcony, lucky to move out of the way before the trusses on the ceiling began to fall in the room. Outside, he placed her body as far away from the doors as possible, hoping that the rain would keep her safe from the flames until he finished his task. "Are you okay?"

Mac coughed hard, ridding her lungs of the smoke that she'd inhaled. "No. . .So much pain." She could barely speak, much less move from all of the injuries that she'd sustained as Kale's toy. Her body shook violently and blood was mixing with the droplets of rain and mixing to form a swirl of red liquid beneath her. "So tired."

It was best if she stayed awake but Harm just could not stay with her. He needed to find Kale and finish him off once and for all. "Try to stay awake, Mac. . .It's important." He kissed her gently and said a silent goodbye before jumping off the side of the balcony. He ran across the courtyard and into the woods to find Kale waiting for him.

The other man was leaning against a tree, the sword sticking out of the ground, within reach. "You know you can't save her. . .She's dying and my blood is flowing through her veins."

"That doesn't mean she will turn into something like you." Harm's blood was in her veins too and had long established itself along with Mac's genetic makeup. It was part of her now and Harm was counting on that for her salvation. "This thing between us is over, Kale."

"One of us will die." Kale agreed and lunged himself at Harm, sword aiming at his chest. This time, Harm managed to move out of the way. He jumped to the side and came to a rolling stop before bracing himself for another attack. Harm's sword came up crosswise, blocking the blow with a loud clang. Several strikes sent him scurrying backwards until a tree stopped his movement. Harm used that tree to push himself up and forward, lunging at Kale who moved out of the way at the last second.

Harm spun on his heel, intending to rush forward again when he found Kale running towards him. Their swords clashed repeatedly, each man trying to take a piece of the other with every blow until the pair wound up blade to blade, shoving back and forth. The force of the movement sent both weapons flying, landing several feet away.

Kale yelled loudly as he threw his body at Harm, the blow taking him right off of his feet. Kale straddled him and began to rain down punches which Harm managed to block. The weakness of his body was causing his muscles to shake from the strain. He managed to roll out from under the other vampire and waited for another attack. When it came, he was ready and carefully pulled the knife from the sheath wrapped around his leg. When Kale made to attack again, he lunged forward, sticking the knife into Kale's gut. He twisted the blade deeper and felt it give as it pierced through any organs it encountered.

Extending his fangs, Harm plunged the sharp edges as deep as possible into Kale's throat. He drank deeply, with each swallow taking in memories, information and healing properties used for him to recuperate. Once done, he removed the knife quickly, blood spurting to cover his hands before he raised it again and, this time, used the sharp edge to sever Kale's jugular. While it wouldn't kill Kale, the injury would, at least, incapacitate him enough to complete the deed. He took Kale's body and dragged it back towards the castle and into the waiting flames consuming the building. Mesmerized by the fire, Harm watched as the flames licked up the sofa and over Kale's body. "Rest in peace."

Returning to Mac, Harm dropped to his knees before her and placed a hand over her heart shocked to find her skin so cold. "No." An overwhelming sense of dread gripped him. Harm didn't have to press his fingers to her pulse point to know that Mac was dead. "No. No, Mac!"

Harm could never believe that he would cry for anyone more than he had for Katherine - until now. Sobs shook through him as he grabbed Mac's body and held her close. "What have I done?" This was his doing, a mistake made when he let himself care for her. Now she was another victim.

Her salvation lay in his blood. Harm knew that her death had a chance of being reversed, but did he have enough proof to know that his decision was correct? Was she really _the one_, his lifemate?

_**Yes. **_

"You wanted this once. . .I hope to God you still want this now." He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and then bit into the flesh of his wrist. Blood immediately pooled to the surface and dripped down. With his other hand, he forced her mouth open and let the blood drip down. All the while, he prayed that she wouldn't hate him for turning her. There were many immortals that, despite wanting the change, hated what they became. He hoped Mac wouldn't loathe him if she survived the ordeal.

He forced the blood into her, keeping her mouth open and watching intently as the liquid moved down her throat. "C'mon. . . Mac, wake up. Drink!" Harm shook her body violently, hoping that the movement would jar her back to life. He needed her to swallow and take the blood deep inside of her. "I love you." He said suddenly and felt everything suddenly stop and shift. "I love you." Harm said again surprised to realize that it was true – he did love her. "Mac, I love you. . .You need to drink, please." He said hoping that she could still hear him and that his voice would bring her back. "Drink, Mac."

Mac _had_ heard him but the pool of warmth that she was currently floating in was too hard to resist. She felt safe there, comfortable. It was easy to just slip away, but every time she tried, he'd wake her again, shake her body into a living dreamland. She wanted to comply, wanted to feel him, but the warmth was so pleasant. With whatever ounce of strength that she had left, Mac weighed her options and forced herself to join him, if only for a second. She opened her mouth, cleared her throat and swallowed the iron-tasting liquid. And then, she let the warmth take her over again.


	15. Tragic, Ecstatic Agony

****

Okay, okay, okay... Mainly because I don't want to be a grinch for the Holidays. Here you go. It's a bit angsty but a nice little pay off at the end.

Any more chapters will probably be posted AFTER the New Year. So be patient! - Yeah right. :)

Behave yourselves, enjoy yourselves and be kind to your fellow man and woman. ;)

Happy Holidays!! Stay safe!

Jackie

Chapter 15

** – Tragic, Ecstatic Agony  
0345 Local  
O'Rabertaigh Family Home  
5 miles East of Dunquin  
County Kerry, Ireland**

During an immortal's existence, life and death were always intertwined. It was the mortal death which brought about an immortal life. Centuries of existence taught immortals to cope and, even so, certain aspects were impossible to prepare for.

The rain hadn't stopped beating as Harm plucked Mac from the ground and carried her into Kale's Land Rover. He placed Mac inside and went about the dirty business of erasing centuries of life with a raging inferno. To insure that Kale's death was permanent, he used the sticks of dynamite he brought to destroy the building, then remained vigilant until the castle was completely gone.

He secured Mac as best as possible to the passenger's side, hoping that the change would not begin until he reached his cottage, an hour's drive from Kale's. He wasn't surprised when Mac began to groan in pain and was lucky to have found five coolers full of blood inside a shack on Kale's land. The change always required two things – pain and blood.

With each second that passed, Mac's groans became louder and louder. Though most made vampires forget entirely about the Turn, Harm had every painful moment inscribed into his memory. It felt like being ripped apart from the inside out with a white hot object. The second you though that the pain had subsided, it hit you again with a force so strong that you longed for death.

By the time that he arrived at his family's home, Mac was bathed in sweat and shaking like an addict with withdrawals. She was still unconscious despite the movement. Carefully, he took her inside and placed her at the center of his bed. Though he was reluctant to leave, there were things he needed to do in order to insure her safety. First, he brought in the coolers of blood. Second, he set to finding ropes to tie her down with. Third, he prepared his IV kit – something that all immortals had in case they were too wounded or needed extra nourishment as they slept. Intravenous kits allowed for the blood to bypass the digestive system and go straight into the body. It made recovery a cinch and had saved many immortals from fatal wounds.

Harm stood at the foot of his bed, staring at Mac with concern for what he had to do. "I'm sorry." He took her arms and legs, binding them each to one of the posts of the bed. As heartless as the sight seemed, it would prevent Mac from hurting herself or removing the IV once he got it started.

It was fairly easy to find a vein, years of practice had almost made him a pro. He hung a bag of blood on his portable IV stand and set it to drip at a medium pace. She'd been quiet for some time but Harm knew it was all part of the calm before the storm. He used that moment of peace to look over his ancient home.

The stone cottage had been partially destroyed by a fire which had prompted Harm to buy the land and restore the home. The land itself had not remained within the family. After his great, great grand daughter married and moved from the village, the home had passed onto another family. Then, for two centuries it was nothing more than a partial ruin. It had only been just over fifty years since Harm seriously considered repairing the old home. In 1989, he hired a stonemason to repair the walls and make the building slightly larger. He weighed heavily the decision of bringing modern conveniences into the cottage and considered the horrors of life without plumbing. It was really the only thing that he would rather not live without. Combined with a small, gas powered water heater, hot showers were possible. He really _needed _to keep things simple with minimal utility bills and an alias to keep mortals and immortals away. For cooking, Harm had purchased an antique wood burning stove which, along with the fireplace, provided enough warmth during the colder seasons. This home had become his sanctuary and the safest place to take Mac during the transition. It was also an "immortal friendly" home with four windows – one in the bathroom and three in the kitchen/living room/dinning room area. All windows were treated with a special tint that let light in but kept UV rays out. The drapes were heavy, with special black out material that could dip the cottage into total darkness if he wanted.

Harm walked to one of the coolers and pulled out a bag of blood which he promptly bit and drained. He wasn't going to take much, merely two or three bags, enough to hold him over until he was able to find more. During his own change, Harm had consumed over two dozen bags in less than 24 hours. Katherine had suggested that his lifelong illness attributed to the gross amount, but he wasn't about to take chances and deplete the supply which could save Mac. She was going to be uncomfortable enough as it was. He would have to endure his own injuries until it was all over.

The first sounds of pain sounded out nearly an hour later when the moaning began. He was at her side in seconds, frightened over having to deal with something he'd never witnessed before. Theoretically, Harm knew what to do, enough immortals had discussed the change to him, but that didn't mean that he was ready. As of the last fifty years, Immortals would use pain medication in order to ease the suffering. Mac wouldn't be offered such reprieve and Harm hoped to God that she wouldn't remember any of the last few days. More than anything, he hoped that Kale's rogue blood would not take root in her veins.

Beads of sweat began breaking on her face and the moans grew louder. She began to tighten her body almost as if she were preparing to break out of the restraints. Then came the cold chills that caused Mac's teeth to rattle and her body to shake as if she were experiencing severe form of hypothermia. Taking a blanket out of a chest, Harm draped it over her, knowing that it would soon become more of a hindrance than a help.

Seconds later, the screams began. He was never more grateful that neighbors were nowhere in earshot. Strangled cries escaped Mac's throat, each sound cut off slightly when another feeling of pain tore through her. Then hallucinations were a part that Harm had nearly forgotten about until she began to speak between her cries. He couldn't make out the exact nature of the nightmare but knew that she was seeing and remembering all of the horrors that Kale had inflicted on her.

Mac thrashed wildly trying to move away from Kale's sharp knife and his techniques of torture. She called for him then, begging Harm to save her and cursing him when he didn't. Every inch of her body was now covered in beads of sweat and in one swift movement she had managed to dislocate the needle in her vein. Trying furiously to get the flow started again, Harm clumsily took the half empty bag and wound up ripping it from the stand sending blood cascading in all directions. "Damnit!" He cursed and rushed for another empty bag in hopes of starting the procedure again.

It took him nearly ten minutes before Mac's convulsions stopped enough for him to successfully find a vein. His previous attempts had left several tracks on her arm not unlike those of a drug addict. She seemed fine now, almost relaxed, but Harm knew differently. The calm would not last long, there was still much more to come. He took a deep breath and slipped off of the bed to the floor. "Damnit." With curiosity, he stared down at his hands which were pink from the blood that had spilled. Half a bag of precious blood wasted. He'd always been awful with anything medical – it just wasn't his specialty, which was why an 'official' Turn was overseen by a member of The Collective and a Healer like Sturgis. Healers used special herbs and medication that, when infused along with the blood transfusion, would quell the pain and stop the hallucinations.

It wasn't wise to risk a Turn without the proper know how. Many would-be immortals had died due to their maker's carelessness. It had happened to Kale and Harm was not sure it wouldn't happen to him. He'd brought it on himself, after all. How many times had Sturgis called him out on his feelings for Mac? How many times had his friend urged Harm to turn her? The risk would have been lesser then as he wouldn't have had to challenge her body with the wounds Kale had inflicted. There was an unwritten rule within the Immortal community about the Turn – 'Those to be turned must be healthy.' The virus had a way of running rampant on persons who were ill; devouring any illness that they found, sometimes the battle for supremacy was too much for a wounded body to bear. With Kale's blood running somewhere through Mac's veins, Harm worried that the mixture would turn volatile and seal her fate without giving her much of a chance to survive.

Laying his back against the side of the bed, Harm felt the weariness hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew he needed to feed more but was unwilling to ravage through any supplies that were needed for Mac's change. With no food in the cottage he had nothing to eat, which would have forced his body to produce a little more blood. Fighting the want to sleep was futile and he would soon find himself laying on the cold, stone floor in a dreamless sleep.

Harm would have slipped into a dead sleep had he not heard Mac's voice calling to him. "Harm? Where are you?" Her voice was raw from screaming, words coming out just above a whisper. Slowly, he pulled himself up to a sitting position and found her tugging at the restraints.

"Mac, just relax."

She turned to him then with an expression that he couldn't quite pinpoint. It certainly wasn't one that he'd seen before. Mac looked absolutely pitiful but her eyes hinted at the anger within. Dear God, what did it all mean? "Harm. . .I hurt so much."

"I know." He would have done anything to take that pain away but there was nothing more that he could do. There were neither medications nor the time to rush out to find some. He certainly couldn't leave her alone and trying to contact another Immortal for help would lead to the discovery of his ancestral home. He still wasn't sure how The Collective would receive the prospect of a lifemate for him. Katherine had been much loved and he hadn't let any of the elders know of his decision. While he sometimes doubted that they would take his life – his past transgressions had his fate dangling by a string.

Again, Mac tested her restraints tugging at her legs and her arms without much result. "Why am I tied up? Let me go. . .Please."

"I can't do that." And he needed to turn away from the pitiful look before he gave in and set her free. "You'll hurt yourself."

But she continued to plead, this time sounding more pathetic. He couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "Harm. . .Please, everything hurts so bad. . . let me go."

Unable to look at her any longer, he stood up and turned away. The act hurt him more than he could ever imagine but he reminded himself that it wasn't an act of cruelty – he was trying to save her life.

Mac took it as a sign of treason and used the remnants of her energy to bellow out, "Goddamnit, you fucking bastard. . .Let me go!" When harshness didn't work, she stared at him, eyes soft and pleading, but Harm wouldn't look at her. "You're killing me."

And she was killing him. It killed Harm to know that he could have prevented her pains if he would have thought this out better. There were drugs that he could have administered that would have lessened the discomfort. Now, he was forced to watch her writhe in pain as another round of convulsions overtook Mac's body. The second half of the Turn came much faster than he had anticipated. This was the most crucial and deadly side when the virus would start to attack vital organs if enough blood wasn't presented into its host.

Unsure of the procedure, Harm increased the flow of blood on the IV. There had been claims that administering the blood as quick as possible would allow for the Turn to continue without the virus attacking and killing the heart from the start. It would first search out sickness and wounds and then move onto the organs. The virus would morph Mac's body and turn her into a predator if she survived the agony.

Her wild movements caused the ropes at her feet and ankles to burn into her skin. Harm could see the angry marks and was sure that they would soon bleed from the friction. He didn't expect the bindings of her wrists to break and was then forced to use his strength to keep her from moving. Nearly half an hour passed before he could let go of her. He lamented having to put her bindings back in place, especially with her skin so damaged as it was. The virus would take care of it all, he knew, but this was extra stress that she didn't need. "Why didn't I turn you years ago?"

Thinking about the past was one of the things that had always consumed him. Neither moving on nor letting go were never his strong suit. He tended to let things fester and knew that Mac's fate would be added to the ranks of his worries. Sighing, he moved away and headed towards a cooler in hopes of starting a fresh IV cycle.

For two whole days Harm rode the waves along with Mac, changing the bagged blood and keeping her calm as much as he could when she began to hallucinate. He heard the bones of her right leg snap when one particular seizure became more violent than the rest. Her screams of pain echoed in the small building until exhaustion mercifully forced her to sleep.

When it all subsided, Harm opted to make Mac a little more comfortable. She'd fallen into dead sleep as was common once the change was complete. Now all she had to do was wake up and when she did, the last thing he wanted was for her to wake with dried blood on her clothing and lying on dirty sheets. He drew a hot bath for her and then carefully removed the IV from her vein and set aside the stand in case she was too weak to feed once she woke up. Harm carried Mac into the bathroom, removed her soiled clothing and then placed her in the water. He bathed her slowly, making sure to remove every last drop of blood from her skin and hair. Once finished, Harm wrapped Mac up in his robe and laid her on the sofa while he attended to the sheets and bindings on his bed. He placed them all in a corner until he had the chance to burn them outside.

When she was lying comfortably on his bed, Harm sat on the side and watched her sleep. Again he questioned his decision and feared that he may have been too late. If the Turn was meant to fail it gave no warnings. Bathing her, Harm was able to see that any and all of her wounds had closed. It gave him faith that, maybe, she had made it through and all she needed was a recovering sleep. He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb gently over the palm.

Mac could feel his presence, even from the dark recesses that she was cocooned in. She forced herself to wake up and was greeted with a strange sensation all over her body. She took a deep breath, feeling as if it were the first time that her lungs had taken in air. The feelings surrounding her were slightly euphoric in nature, Harm's touch even more so. Her breathing regulated and a sensation of warmth filled her body. Mac forced her eyes to open and glance around quickly at the unfamiliar home. What the hell happened? Whose home was this? The very last thing that she remembered was cleaning the fridge before someone knocked her out. There were other things, bits and pieces that seem to be more of a nightmare than real life.

She turned her head to the side and found Harm sitting just next to her. His eyes were closed and despite the uncomfortable position, he was most definitely asleep. Squeezing his hand, she urged him to wake up and hopefully fill in the numerous blanks in her memory. His eyes settled on her own and she noticed his expression turn from that of worry to that of happiness. "You're alive."


	16. Resurrection

****

Okie dokie guys. Here's chappie 16. I was hoping to have more of this story written over the hoilday break, however, my laptop decided to die. That's where most of my writting happens and where the new chapters were. I was trying to save them onto my zip drive when it decided to crash Probably won't be fixing it any time soon either, looks like the hard drive is fried. The sucker won't boot up it's operating system. So that is gonna cost a bit and Iam currently trying to catch up from Christmas shopping.

I hope everyone had a cool New Years. Mine was boring mainly cause I wasn't in the mood for parties. So, that is that. Well, I'm off to finish working. My boss has this nasty habit of constantly changing his mind every two seconds about things. Just when I think work is completed, I have to re-start it. It's pissing me off. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

Chapter 16 – Resurrection

"**We've been slaves to this love  
From the moment we touched  
And keep begging for more  
Of this resurrection" - HIM "Ressurection"**

**1845 Local  
O'Rabertaigh Family Home  
5 miles East of Dunquin  
County Kerry, Ireland**

"You're alive." Harm's eyes watered with unshed tears and then each pesky drop fell, sliding down his cheeks. He pulled Mac close, holding her tight against his body, hoping it wasn't all a dream. She had survived perhaps the most difficult thing any human could endure. Words just could not explain how truly traumatic the Turn was to a human body.

Mac was still tired – exhausted, more like it, and would remain so for a few more days until the Turn properly rooted itself and set her body in top condition. With what little physical strength she had, Mac wrapped her arms around him, happy to feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Damnit, she'd missed him so much. She was a fool for running away. "I'm sorry for leaving you. . .I shouldn't have. All I could think of was you." The frustration in her voice sounded out along with guilt over any heartache she'd caused. "I'm sorry."

Amused, Harm pulled away and smiled. "I thought you said that apologizing was a sign of weakness?"

"Oh sure, throw that back at me when I'm too weak to hurt you." She chuckled and settled back into the pillows, her head was starting to spin. Something was definitely different though and Mac wasn't too sure if it was the _good_ type of different or the _bad_ kind. Concerned, she opened one eye to find Harm staring at her with a look of wonder. She closed her eye and tried to remember what all had occurred. There were still jumbled pieces but nothing that put together a storyline that she could follow. Annoyed, she opened both her eyes and looked at him. "What happened?"

Although he hadn't wanted her to remember any part of the Turn, Harm would have been happier not having to explain that she was now an immortal. Some people, despite their want to be changed, just didn't handle it well. As it was, there was still the matter of Kale's blood and what effects, if any, it had on Mac. "What is the last thing you remember?"

That was a fairly easy answer, "I went to Whole Foods to pick up some groceries and then went back to my apartment, had dinner and started to clean the fridge." It all sounded like a normal evening, however Mac recalled that icky feeling and a weird ruffling in her head. "I had this feeling. You know? The type you sense when someone is watching." And someone was watching, she recalled being taken from behind. "Someone kidnapped me." The pieces were coming back to her now, in bright flashes and fast scenes, like a movie on fast-forward. While she didn't remember travelling to any given destination, Mac was conscious when Kale first strung her up and began making cuts on her body. "Jesus!"

Frantically, she pulled away the covers and yanked open the robe believing that she would find terrible scars from such a horrific ordeal. Instead, all that Mac found was perfect skin, not marred in any shape or form. Confused, she looked up at Harm, her brow furling. "I didn't dream that. . .I know what Kale did to me." She stared at her chest, recalling a particular time when Kale's blade had cut his initials right between the valley of her breasts. There was nothing to signify that the mark had ever been there and only one conclusion came to mind. "Harm? You turned me, didn't you?"

"Yes." He admitted and then defended his reason. "Kale did a number on you. . .I did the only thing I _could_ do to keep you alive." He took a deep breath, fearing the worst once she had knowledge of her new lease on life. "I had to turn you, Mac. . .You weren't breathing, you'd lost _so_ much blood. . .I couldn't let you die."

Why was it that, often, once you got what you wanted, the euphoria of it all seemed to wear off? Mac still wanted this but only if it meant that she could be with Harm, something that still hadn't been clarified. She just couldn't imagine living forever if he wasn't with her. "If I weren't dying, would you have turned me anyway?"

Harm thought hard about the question and considered his feelings for her. After they'd made love the first time and he tasted her blood, Harm knew that resisting was impossible. He may have wanted to hold out on turning her but, eventually, his emotions would have gotten the better of him. As much as he wanted to spare Mac from this life, he couldn't watch her die and grow old. She needed to be at his side. "I didn't want to turn you. . .Eventually, though, I would have had to."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." It surprised him how easily the words slipped from his lips. This time she was awake and able to hear the declaration that she most desired from him. It meant that she wasn't seen as a clone of another woman and that he'd finally let go enough to find what had eluded them – happiness. When she didn't reply Harm leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. "I mean it, Sarah. I love you." He kissed her then, gently, not wanting to cause any undue stress on her body. It was a chaste kiss but enough to drive home the affection behind his words. "Get some rest. I'm sure there are a ton of things you'll want to know."

Mac didn't want to rest, all she could think about were the millions of things her body was now capable of doing. Most of all, she was curious as to how their bodies would react to each other now that she was truly a part of him. "I don't want to rest. . .Not right now." She sat up in bed, resting her back against the headboard so that she could look more clearly at the space. Her 'new' eyes focused on all sorts of things that mortal eyes could not see. She spotted a small crack on the pane of the window at the far corner of the room as well as the year that was stamped to the side of the old stove.

She could smell the grass outside and the passing of heavy weather which brought on the cold. The wood burning in the fireplace smelled of hickory and humidity. In the distance, she could hear the sound of water dripping from a towel that Harm had used to dry her. The senses came and went as they were still not refined – something that would come with time. In wonderment, she looked at Harm and furled her brow in confusion. "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto." She joked and then did a quick skim of the building.

Washington and Virginia had a few historical districts but Mac was fairly certain that none of them boasted the looks, feels and smells that she was witnessing. "Where are we?"

"Ireland. . .This is my family home." He said knowing that she had a small knowledge of the place.

Mac glanced up at the wooden ceiling and then looked around once again. The home was destroyed in a fire, he had told her. It had taken him several decades to put it back together again. "This place is amazing."

Harm nodded in agreement. "Some of the things in here are a little more 'modern.'" He said with quotation figures and chuckled. "Originally it had a thatch roof. I decided that putting in a proper roof wouldn't destroy the memories."

Mac chuckled. "I think the thatched roof is a memory you wouldn't _mind_ destroying." It must have been hell to build such a thing, especially when there was a tear or a leak.

"Weaving a roof stinks. . .With me being sick it took forever and my wife wasn't too big on any type of housework."

"How many people used to live in one of these?"

"Up to a family of six. . .Mother, father, two children, grandparents."

Mac glanced around with a skeptic eye. "In _here?_"

Harm couldn't help a chuckle. Back then, you got used to those conditions, now it seemed ludicrous, though he knew some of the poorer citizens of society still lived that way. "Most of the time you would be working on the land, tending to the animals. . .You really didn't bump into each other." In fact, he and his wife usually had plenty of time to be alone, if they so desired, he was always too tired to bother and his wife had given up on him the moment they were engaged. They had children more out of her family pressuring them then from a want of actually sleeping together.

Silently Mac pondered his past and the life that he must have lead _before_ Katherine turned him. From his stories, she could always tell that he wasn't happy then and that he truly loved his current existence. She hoped to share the same exuberance for this half life. "So, what now? After the changing is done, do we go back home?"

_Home._ He bit back a cringe at the sound of the word. His true home was _here_ in his motherland and yet, his home had been so many different places during the years that it felt as if his heritage had been watered down. Somewhere along the way he'd lost his accent, his culture, all with the hopes of fitting in without others recognizing that there was something truly different about him. Through the years, Harm never quite felt at home, until he went to JAG. Now, with his lifemate in his ancestral home, was there a need to go back to that world? Theoretically, Harm knew there wasn't, and yet he couldn't forget the family he had there. "We're not heading back. . .not yet anyway."

To Mac that sounded awfully like their return to Washington would never come. "Then when? I have cases. I finally found someone who would testify against Kudrow. You know how big that is."

"I know, Mac." He frowned. Damnit, this really was the most inopportune time for her to turn. Though he was sure that Bud and Sturgis were capable, Marine Lieutenant Leonard Kudrow was scum, accused of sexually assaulting two female petty officers while onboard the Patrick Henry. One of those women had come forward after nearly six months of silence and was hoping that, with Mac's help, more victims would step forward. "I know what the case meant to you. . .Sturgis will take it over."

"Sturgis? He doesn't know Chelsea, Petty Officer Herrlin. . .She's afraid to death of men right now." Angry, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. While she wanted this change to happen, Mac would have preferred that it fit her schedule. "What about the Admiral? He'll court martial both of us, for sure. . .we're AWOL."

Now that was something that was easily remedied though Harm had fought hard and denied his basic desire to often control Chegwidden. He shrug, not particularly caring about mortal laws at the moment. "Sturgis will make him believe that we're TAD."

"TAD _where?_"

Harm sighed deeply, "Does it really matter?"

Did it? With their abilities, it was a miracle that Immortals didn't run everything to their liking. "I guess not, you'll just brainwash people when we get back anyway."

"_If_ we get back." He didn't want to fool her into believing that things would be alright. Some people just never went back home, he was proof of that. In fact, if it weren't for the fire, Harm would have never stepped foot in this home again.

"We have to go back. . .We have a life there, a family. . .We're godparents to such a wonderful little kid." She frowned at the thought of never seeing little AJ again. Harriet and Bud were the main reason why she still believed in unconditional love. "The Roberts'? Sturgis? Tiner? Gunny? Don't you want to see them again?"

"I do. . .JAG has been like a home to me. . .But it's not as easy as just picking up and leaving once you're well. . .You need to learn to use your knew senses. Most important, you need to learn to stop the hunger from forcing you to kill someone."

It would have sounded very melodramatic if it weren't for the look in his eyes. Mac could sense a hunger deep within and considering that she was now a predator, she wondered how deadly that hunger would make her. "How long can that take?"

"I don't know. . .sometimes months."

"Months!?" Mac knew from his stories that, eventually she would have to leave for fear of friends and family discovering her lack of aging. However, she hadn't considered never going back. How could you leave without saying goodbye? "I didn't want this. . .I mean, I _did_. . .I would do anything to be with you. . .I thought I would have a chance to see my friends again."

"I understand, Mac." These last decades were easier. Advancements in medicine could make mortals appear younger and there was always a vast amount of cities and countries to integrate with. Before, living outside of the city, while safe, was also dangerous since bagged blood had yet to be invented. That forced immortals into towns where they were seen as total strangers, people that weren't meant to be trusted. It made feeding hell. Had it not been for mind control, all of them would have either burned at the stake or starved to death. During those times, Immortals _did not _make friends with mortals. That unwritten rule had lessened throughout the centuries until they found a way to live cohesively with mortals. "There are a lot of things that you don't understand. . . We have rules and though I doubt that I'll be punished for turning you, technically, they can." And probably would make an example out of him.

"You're right, I don't understand."

"We're allowed to turn one person, period . . .I turned Sturgis." And while that wouldn't mean a thing to those that chose not to follow The Collective, Harm was a hunter, an Enforcer. He was the law and yet he had broken every single one of their commandments. "Sometimes The Collective will allow another turn. . .But, I would have had to ask their permission and since I never planned on turning you. ." He trailed off and glanced downwards to their hands entwined. There was a time where he would have planned for this, the belief that he'd find love again. If she looked like anyone else, it would have been so much easier. As much as he didn't want to admit it, it was her likeness to Katherine that had caused all of this. ". . .I shouldn't have said that."

"Why not? It's the truth." She pulled her hand out of his and slipped it under the blankets, away from his touch. All Mac wanted was to be happy with him. Why was that so difficult to attain? He was still pushing her away. "You say that you love me, but you don't seem happy about this. . .I feel like I'm an obligation. . .Do you even want me with you? Honestly?"

"Honestly? Yes. . .I do love you, Mac. But, there's so much in the way. . ." He ran his hands over his face and through his hair and then buried his face in his hands. "Damnit, why does everything in my life need to be so fucking difficult?" Hadn't he paid his dues? How much of his life did he have to give to The Collective? Would he have to give Mac up too? "I just need to stay here, with you, until I'm sure it's safe. Please, try to understand that. . .I lost the love of my life once and I _can't_ lose her again."

Mac still wanted answers; she knew there was something he wasn't saying, a secret of some sorts. Being angry with him, however, wouldn't solve a thing. "You won't lose me, not if I can help it." She tried to lighten the situation and was happy to see him smile, even if it didn't reach his eyes. At that moment, she heard her stomach rumble loudly and stared at Harm with concern. Was she in an all blood diet at the moment? Mac wasn't sure she'd be able to stomach drinking blood so soon. "Ah, Harm?" Her eyes followed him, as he jumped off the bed and headed towards a row of coolers. He pulled open one and took out two bags of blood. "I'm not too sure I'm ready for this. . .Drinking. . .er. . .you know."

Harm chuckled at her distress and pulled the IV stand to her side. "Don't worry, for the next day or so, I've heard it's better to use the intravenous. This way you can sleep and still feed." Surprised by her compliance at him poking her with a needle, Harm set up the IV to a heavy flow with one bag. The second bag he brought to his mouth, his teeth puncturing deep holes which allowed him to drink. He finished that bag rather quickly and then took another with him as he walked towards the bathroom. "I'm going to go take a quick shower. If you need anything, anything at all, just yell."

While he had taken time to change his blood stained clothing, showering hadn't quite been a high priority during her turning. Now he was able to wash off all of the blood, dirt and grime from his battle with Kale. He let the warmth of the water wash away the horrors of seeing her in so much pain. It was over now and he had saved her – Mac's hero. When he finished, Harm stepped out of the shower, dried off and wrapped a towel around his waist. In the bedroom, he rummaged quietly through his drawers, looking for the t-shirts and sweatpants he had stashed. By then, Mac had fallen asleep again and his want for her to rest made him seek a resting place by way of the oversized sofa. While it wasn't the most comfortable of places to sleep in, he'd slept in worse places. As the vestiges of sleep swirled around him, Harm heard Mac's voice calling to him. He popped his head up and found her staring at him with a perplexed expression. "Mac, what's wrong?"

"Why aren't you in bed?" She wondered if their past argument still weighed between them. Leaving wasn't the smartest of things that she'd done, but was it really _that_ punishable? "It fits two." Mac tried to tease and found him smirking at the comment. "And the IV is finished." She pointed at the bag and then jutted out her arm for him to remove the needle.

Harm came to his feet and shuffled his way to the bedroom. He removed the needle from her arm and put the IV stand in a corner, close by if needed. When Mac pulled back the covers, he gladly slid in close to her side. Her body curled next to his and he was reminded of what he'd been missing for so many centuries. Harm pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her body protectively. He prayed to God that he was strong enough for this task and that she would not fall victim to any of his misguided steps.


	17. Dark Sekret Love

Hey guys! Thanks for your patience. I had to re-work (read: re-write) the next chapters. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!! But, it gave me some good ideas and it's looking like this story will end at chapter 20 around there. No sequel! ;) And I already have the next story in the works. The title is pending but it will have to do with the eppie "The Stalker".

The premise would be that Mac needs to leave town because the threats are so bad that the stalker has turned his attention to getting rid of Harm. (I always found it facinating when Coster asks Mac, in her apartment, when Harm's there, if there were any other men in her life, even men that she fantasized about. - That little question got me thinking. ;))

Anyway, enough about that... onto VH!

Enjoy!

Jackie

PS: I know that Secret, on the title of the chapter, is spelled wrong. ;) It's the title of a song.

**Chapter 17 – Dark Sekret Love  
****O'Rabertaigh Family Home  
5 miles East of Dunquin  
County Kerry, Ireland**

"Are you still angry with me?" Curiously, Mac stared at Harm who was sprawled out on the sofa, book in hand. Though Mac had fallen asleep, Harm was suffering from a bout with insomnia. He remained in bed, staring up at the ceiling for nearly three hours before giving up. Annoyed, he quietly got out of bed and headed to the sofa. He'd turned on a gas lantern and took to reading a book from the small library he'd acquired throughout the centuries.

Lowering the novel, Harm turned towards Mac and smiled. "No." He closed the book and dropped it on the sofa before moving towards the bed. "I'm too old to hold grudges and I can't blame you. . . The relationship between Katherine and I was complicated." He admitted with a groan and settled on the corner of the bed, just next to Mac.

Studying him, Mac found his face to be different, exhausted. She wondered if he was as tired as she felt. "It's just that. . .you haven't kissed me." It was odd to wake up with such a thought in her mind, but that is just what had happened. Weeks ago, before she had decided to sabotage their relationship, the two of them were inseparable. "We had a moment there that we could barely be alone without . . . I miss being that close."

Harm grinned at her hesitation, understanding the craving that her body had for his. It was natural and happened to all Immortal life mates. If they wanted each other before the Turn, the want would grow to a need so great it was hard to resist. She was right; however, he really hadn't kissed her since waking up hours before. It was time to remedy that.

Cupping Mac's face in his hands, Harm leaned in and kissed her. It was meant to be slow and gentle but the moment his lips touched hers, a familiar fire began to grow. Unable to help himself, Harm deepened the kiss, his tongue darting out to brush over her lower lip. Mac sighed into his mouth and opened to him, her tongue reaching out to caress his. Her heart was hammering a tattoo at a million miles an hour as they devoured eachother. It felt as if it had been years since they touched and eagerly Harm's hand slipped under the robe, parting it to reveal Mac's naked form. She sucked on his tongue, as his hands dipped between her thighs.

The moment he touched her Harm could sense a change and it wasn't the good type. He eased his ministrations and broke their series of kisses to find Mac gasping in pain. "Mac?" He saw the muscles of her abdomen tightening as she fought the need to curl into a fetal position. "Damnit!" Quickly, he jumped off the bed and hurried to one of the coolers. He pulled out two bags of blood which he brought to Mac. "You should have told me you were hungry." He chastised and helped her sit up.

"This is what it feels like when your body is heavily dehydrated . . . Your organs are being attacked." The pangs of starvation were unique to anything a mortal would ever feel. Some had equated it to contractions when giving birth. To Harm, it felt like acid was eating its way through the circulatory system and spreading out to all of the organs in the body. Once experiencing that pain, every Immortal made sure it never happened again. "Open your mouth." Harm commanded intent on forcing her fangs to appear as he slashed his wrist and waved the wound under her nose. As expected, her teeth dropped down, perfect canine teeth in order to pierce the blood bag for her to drink.

Mac stared at him with horror. She wasn't ready to drink the stuff and turned away as he offered her the bag. "Not yet. . .I'm not ready." And didn't really think she'd ever be, though it was likely that the metallic tasting liquid would now taste differently. "Use the IV." She moaned as another pang of pain ricocheted from inside.

Though the IV would serve its purpose, Harm knew that she needed blood much quicker than that. As fast as possible, he put the needle into her vein and set the contraption to a fast drip. The wound on his wrist had closed fast enough but there was still a corner that was open. He brought his wrist to her lips and nodded for her to take from him. "You did it before, Mac. And this is crucial if you want the pain to stop quickly." Harm was happy that she didn't argue and braced himself as she began to suckle at his wrist. Pleasure exploded within him, much as he knew that it would. Sharing blood between life mates equated to rapture for the whole body. The feelings were exquisite and Harm tried to calm himself before he became too excited.

Almost immediately the pain began to dissipate and Mac could feel something that felt rather good. As she hoped, the blood no longer tasted metallic but something like what she expected a fine, sweet wine to taste like. Harm pulled his wrist away and licked the wound in order to close it. He watched Mac for a moment, noticing her eyes start to close in what he assumed was relief.

Recalling his own lack of nourishment, he went to the coolers and pulled out two bags which he made quick work of. The first thing on the agenda, after Mac was fed and feeling normal enough, was to teach her a few things, mainly how to bring forth her teeth and stop them from coming out without her consent.

Once Mac had woken, Harm set to that very task and found, with great surprise, that she was a quick study. Not only had she mastered the movement of her new teeth, but she'd also come to realize that they could now communicate without speaking. All of those years of sharing conversations with just their eyes had come to a true fruition. While they still couldn't read each other's minds, if projected, a silent conversation could be had.

From that point on, they spent several days in training when Harm suddenly suggested an outing. "How about going out for lunch?" The question, however normal it may have been at one point, just managed to shock Mac.

She arched a brow and couldn't be more surprised if Ed McMahon suddenly knocked on the door with a Publisher's Clearing House cheque. "You're letting me _out?_"

Harm chuckled and shook his head. "You aren't a prisoner, Mac." Though, at times, he may have treated her as such. It wasn't his intention, of course. He only wanted to make sure she healed properly. "There's a nice restaurant in town."

Mac's mouth watered in anticipation for restaurant food. Both of them had been on an all liquid diet since her turn. Their trips to the city had normally been late at night when only one or two patrons were left stumbling out of pubs. It was the easiest way to teach someone to feed - attack those that were least likely to resist. With Mac's feminine wiles and gorgeous smile, even her first time out had landed her a willing candidate. Harm controlled his mind while she fed, knowing Mac was still too early in her Turn to feed and control all at once - that was possibly the most difficult aspect of being Immortal.

**1405 Local  
****Half Door Restaurant  
****Dingle, County Kerry  
****Ireland**

Though she'd seen Harm eat countless times in various restaurants, Mac still wasn't quite sure that she could stomach regular food. That was until she stepped into the quaint restaurant and was assaulted with so many different smells that her mouth was watering. The restaurant was something like she'd envisioned when thinking about Ireland – intimate, with stone and wood walls, old pots and pans hanging from an area in the center near the kitchen. "Thank you." She'd told Harm and planted a soft kiss on his lips as gratitude.

They had ordered similar plates, each filled with various forms of seafood, which was the restaurant's specialty. Mac savored her meal and the explosion of flavor that she was more attuned to with her new senses. Over lunch, they chatted about nothing in particular, mostly over the Dingle Peninsula which was absolutely beautiful. Sighing happily, Mac leaned back and grinned. "I thought I wouldn't ever be able to eat regular food again."

"You've seen me eat." Harm said and then recalled that he'd worried about the same thing. After spending days on a liquid diet, it wasn't difficult to forget that there were other pleasures in life. "Some of us do stop eating entirely." Harm confessed and shrugged, "I did for a while, but I find I rather like a good meal."

"Why did you stop eating?"

Harm sighed and shook his head. That aspect of his life was one that he rather not get into. Some of the memories were fuzzy and others were just a little too well remembered. "When you go rogue you just don't consider things like that anymore. It's the blood that really drives us. . .And it drove me."

Reaching across the table, Mac placed her hand over his and squeezed. "Hey, that's over. You have me now and I'm going to make sure nothing like that happens to you again." She wasn't sure how exactly to keep that promise, but she was going to try.

After lunch, Harm had made a stop at several stores, purchasing much needed clothing and food. Though it was not a particularly sunny day, Mac's body needed to learn to cope with even the most minimal of sunlight, a trait she would acquire with time. Deciding to stock up on their liquid nutrition, Harm stepped into the community hospital and 'convinced' the nurse on staff that he was there to collect the blood bags that were close to expiration. The woman had taken the bags and placed them in a large cooler and then handed them over to Harm who then erased her mind and the minds of anyone else that had spotted them.

"So, are we going to go out again sometime?" Mac asked expectantly when Harm drove the Land Rover onto the small patch of dying grass that he'd designated as the driveway. He put the car in park and killed the engine. "To see the town, I mean." She frowned at the thought of feeding off of another person. Taking Harm's blood was one thing but stalking someone else like prey was an entirely different matter. Mac supposed that he would take her out to feed a few times until she mastered the art of controlling minds.

Harm was starting to get a bit of cabin fever himself. "We can, just as long as we pack extra blood for you. . . Soon enough you'll be able to handle the sun just like I do. Thankfully, that doesn't take centuries to learn, you just need to finish healing." As he understood, all turned Immortals took on the exact same strand of virus as their sire. That being the case, just like Harm, Mac would be able to withstand sunlight better than most.

While all Immortals _could_ go out in the daylight, most couldn't stand the direct mid-day sun and chose to either step out later in the day or gorge themselves on blood before stepping out. Noticing the skies start to darken, Harm motioned for Mac to step out of the car. "C'mon, I want to show you something."

Once outside, he took her hand and guided her through a small path that traversed heavy green foliage which Harm had purposely allowed to grow out of control. His family home had been built just adjacent to a great hill which helped block most of the cold air that came off of the coastline. The overgrowth of shrubbery and trees helped to mask his home away from prying eyes. "Where are you taking me. . .Oh!" Mac exclaimed when they had passed most of the green vegetation which opened up to show jagged, bright green hills and the angry seas of the Atlantic Ocean.

The view was the sort of thing one would only see on a postcard. A majestic coastline and rolling green hills combined with the darkening skies to form a scene that truly was breathtaking. "I really wanted to show Ireland to you that one time we were here." He said softly as he stood behind Mac and wrapped his arms around her. "The _Real_ Ireland, not the bustle of the city." He stared out with her and breathed in the smell of the sea. "I used to spend hours out here when I was a boy. . .I was always curious what was out there." He motioned out to the sea, still in surprise at what became of his life and where it had all led him. He should have died several times over but, somehow, he'd survived.

Mac wrapped her arms around his own and leaned back against him, craving his warmth. "This is beautiful. . .Kinda makes me forget about everything else."

"Mmmm." He agreed and bent down to press a kiss on her shoulder and another on the nape of her neck. "We should get back, it's about to start. . ." Harm barely got the sentence out before fat drops of rain began to pelt the area. ". . .raining."

Laughing, the pair ran back through the trees and shrubs, weaving their way through the path until it ended right next to the cottage. "C'mon!" Mac urged but then stopped to find Harm headed towards a stump a few feet in front of the Land Rover. "Harm?"

"Go inside, Mac, I forgot to chop wood for the fireplace." Annoyed, he took the ax that was stuck in the stump and grabbed a piece of wood that was in a covered stack nearby.

"Damnit." He cursed, wishing that the weather would have held up until his task was done. Harm had made quick work of several logs which he dumped into a wheel barrow and carted to the entrance of the home. Taking an armful of logs, he pushed the door open and then was stopped dead in his tracks just in front of the fireplace.

Turning slightly, he spotted Mac lying on the bed wearing nothing more than a bra and panties. His mind immediately turned to fog and he dropped the logs without caring where they fell. She was on her side, haphazardly draped across varying pillows and the heavy comforter. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"That's exactly what I was going for . . . It didn't turn out too well last time, but I just had two bags of blood and I'm feeling pretty good." She grinned conspiringly at him. She was watching him through the window. He'd taken off his jacket allowing him to slice through each hunk of wood without restriction. Seeing him in the rain, muscles rippling under a wet t-shirt, had done things to her body. As much as she wanted him, Mac really hoped that this attraction had an 'off' button. The last thing she needed was to face Harm in court while turned on. Especially with the way he was looking at her now, as if she were a feast.

Harm ripped off his wet shirt and tossed it to the side, then tugged off his jeans and moved slowly towards the bed. He loved the way her eyes devoured him and noted them shifting to the more interesting part of his anatomy which was already twitching with desire. Crawling on the bed, he slipped between her thighs, his cold body making her shiver. "Warm me up?"

"Absolutely." Mac kissed him and wrapped her legs around his waist.

They made love passionately, their mouths rarely leaving each other's skin as they moved together. When their climax neared, Harm bit into the top swell of her breast drinking deeply as blood bubbled to the surface. Don't stop." Mac begged, pressing his head against her chest as the tension of pleasure vibrated between them. Harm could feel her need for release and offered his wrist for her to take in her mouth. Instinctively, she did so and plunged her teeth into his flesh. He felt Mac tighten around him, her nails scraping the flesh of his arms as she screamed out with her final release. Exhausted, Harm rolled off and pulled Mac so that she was draped over his chest. Soon they were both asleep.

Hours later, the lack of fire was inviting a slight chill into the room. It was Harm that felt it first, his body shivering as he reached for the covers but they had fallen to the floor. Annoyed, he raised his head up and glanced around, surprised to find the other side of the bed empty. Shaking the vestiges of sleep from his head, his eyes followed the soft light which pointed him to the bathroom. Grumbling, he stumbled out of bed and followed, finding Mac fiddling with the old water heater. "Sneaking up on me won't work, Rabb." She said with a start and turned to find Harm rooted in place. Chuckling, she turned to him and inched up to kiss him. "I was getting a little cold and decided to draw a bath."

Harm turned to the tub, finding heat swirling off of the water. He'd never really used the thing for himself, other than for showers. "Join me?" She asked and Harm found himself unable to resist.

They settled at opposite ends of the tub, enjoying the warmth of the water as it relaxed their weary bodies.

"Not every Immortal works for The Collective do they?" Mac asked suddenly. The query had made Harm's head snap up in surprise. He'd offered to answer questions but her overwhelming situation had left her rather at a loss for words.

"Nope. You have to be chosen." Harm was never certain as to why he was chosen. Besides the fact that he had eluded The Collective for years, he wasn't 'warrior' material, or so he thought until the training had started. He found he had a knack for catching bad guys. "Some of us actually want to work for The Collective but that doesn't mean you'd get chosen to do the job. Hunters, especially. We don't just pick whoever to join. There's a process and much disciplined training."

"So you can't just fill out an application." She grinned.

Harm chuckled. "Nope. . . And then you have vampires like me, who have both a mortal and immortal job. _That_ can get very tricky."

"How do you do it? How do you find the time?" She'd been curious about that very fact from the moment she'd followed him as he stalked a vampire in Washington DC.

"For the most part, The Collective knows where all of its Enforcers are at any given time. For us with a permanent residence, they send us off to areas that are a quick plane ride away from our current location. They try to make sure that we can make it back in time for the next workday."

"What happens if you're TAD?" She had reason to suspect that he'd been sent to hunt while they'd been away on investigations.

"I need to let them know where we're headed and if something comes up, I take care of it."

"That would explain why you've been too tired or busy to go to dinner when we're away?" Mac recalled numerous occasions when he'd declined joining her for dinner while away on investigations. There was even a time when he'd faked feeling sick and was not in his hotel room when Mac went to check on him.

Harm nodded. "It wasn't like I could tell you." He'd lamented that fact over and over again even remembering how he'd ruined Christmas for the both of them some years ago. "You remember that Christmas Eve when Chloe hid in the elevator at JAG?"

Mac grinned and shook her head. "Of course I do." Thankfully, the girl had matured and was turning into a wonderful young woman. She supposed having a family did that to those who had lost their way like Chloe had.

"I know you wanted to spend Christmas with me." He'd seen it in her eyes, the hope of not having to spend the holiday alone, but his duties had called him away. "I wasn't trying to find someone else to spend it with."

"What about all of those girls you were calling?" At that point she was wondering where she stood in his life. Hadn't they gone through enough in nearly three years for him to, at least, see her as more than just one of the guys?

Harm snorted and shook his head. "I needed you to believe that I was unavailable and make sure you wouldn't just drop by my apartment. If you thought I was on a date. . ."

"You know, I _was_ going to ask you over. . .I'd hoped that maybe we could have. . ." She trailed off, trying to remember what she felt for him then. Mac wasn't surprised to realize that she loved him, just as she did now. "Maybe it was stupid to think that the magic of Christmas, or whatever, would have made you want me but . . ."

Sliding forward, Harm reached over and placed a hand on her cheek. "Sarah, I _did_ want you . . .I have wanted you for a long time."

"It's good to know my feelings weren't one-sided." And even better to know that he reciprocated those feelings with the same fervor that she felt. All in all, it had worked out, thankfully. Leaning forward, she brushed a kiss over his lips. "I love you, Harm."

Approximately half an hour later, Harm stepped out of the bathroom, leaving Mac to relax while he planned dinner. He dressed quickly and shivered at the cold still seeping into the small building. The unpredictable Irish weather had turned and with it, Harm could sense an unseasonable cool air that was coming off the ocean. He decided on something hearty and warm, deciding that a soup would be best. As he stepped out into the main room of the tiny home, he felt the hairs in the back of his neck perk up.

An eerie darkness settled over the stone home whose only light was that of a small lantern over the kitchen sink which he had not turned on. His eyes adjusted quickly and settled on a figure that was standing behind the closed door. "Who are you?"

The figure stepped out of the shadows and moved to the light of the lantern. A familiarity became apparent as the figure turned so that Harm could clearly see his face. If it were another place and time, Harm would have been glad for the unannounced visit.

"Harm?" He heard Mac question behind him and quickly, Harm threw his hand out to stop her from approaching.

"Stay back, Sarah." Harm's fangs dropped into place and his eyes turned to a deep black. He kept Mac behind him as he circled around the kitchen table. "No. . .You aren't going to take her." He pointed at the intruder and growled menacingly. "You can't take her away from me." His body tensed, ready to strike if the other man should come closer.


	18. Thorns In Every Rose

Okay, so after re-writing chapters 19 + 20, I got a revelation. Which is good for me, good for you, cause you'll get a little more story out of it. And a little action before the end... erm, not THAT type of action, you sickos! Sheesh!

Anyway... here we go!

You get a little more insight into the vampires. Keep in mind, Mac doesn't know that Katherine is Seth's daughter. The audience did but Mac didn't so it'll be a little more weight on her shoulders. I belive either chapter 20 or 21 will explain why she looks like who she does... It's something that I was wrestling with since the beging of the story. I had a few scenarios and this one finaly makes sense. LOL!!

Enjoy!

Jackie

**Chapter 18 – Thorns In Every Rose.  
****O'Rabertaigh Family Home  
5 miles East of Dunquin  
County Kerry, Ireland**

"Sturgis!" Mac sounded genuinely happy to see their friend and really didn't understand why Harm was holding her back. "Harm?"

"Stay away from him, Mac." Harm kept her behind him in hopes that, in case Sturgis should strike, he would have the ability to defend her. Sturgis was not a fighter but, like most vampires, could hold his own if required. "You can't do this to me, Sturgis. Not after all I've done for you."

The man held his hands up defensively. "I'm here only as a messenger. Seth wants to see you, both of you." He may have come as a messenger but he was also given the right to use force, something that he wasn't comfortable with. "Did you really think you could just hide away from him?" Sturgis asked and remained where he was standing. Although strong, none of his efforts at battle would be enough to stop Harm's attack.

"Harm, you know I'm on your side with this." The news had been a great blow for Sturgis. First, he had been busy trying to put away the rapist from Mac's case and second, he wasn't willing to comply with the Collective, and possibly, get both Harm and Mac killed. In the end, he knew he had no choice. "I wasn't going to say anything, but Seth read it from me." Sturgis truly looked upset at that fact and said with disgust, "You should have never told me about this place. I'm a liability to you."

"I only told you about this place in case you were in danger. . .It's as off the Collective's grid as possible." Relaxing a bit, Harm slid his fangs back into place and released his hold on Mac. He motioned at the table and waved for his friend to come forward. "Take a seat." Harm waited for Sturgis to sit and then pulled a stool around to settle into so he could offer a chair for Mac. The two men sat staring at each other, Sturgis looking decidedly worried.

"How long are they giving me?" Unless requested immediately, Harm would take his time and double his efforts to train Mac before having to meet other vampires. She needed to learn to guard her thoughts from them, especially older vampires who weren't too fond of his past exploits.

"Two weeks. He said that would be sufficient time for you to wrap up what you're doing." Sturgis hesitated slightly and then said in a rush, "You _need_ to bring Mac to him."

"_Him_ who?" Mac asked, starting to feel like the third wheel. She wasn't fond of all the posturing men could do. As far as Sturgis was concerned, she was quite sure that she could kick his ass if needed. Vampire or not, Bubbleheads just couldn't stand a chance to Marine training.

Sturgis turned to Mac in surprise and then he turned back to stare at Harm. "I thought you told her about Seth."

"Ah, _him._ Yeah, Harm's mentioned him a time or two. He leads the Collective, right?" At least, that is what Harm had told her though she often wondered how convoluted _that_ story was. It was obvious to her that no vampire lived without some labyrinth of a life.

"Seth is a _born_ Immortal and one of the oldest vampires in existence. He was a Pharaoh during Egypt's second dynasty."

Mac stared at him as if he'd grown two heads. While Harm's age had been a shock at one point, she hadn't really considered that vampires could live thousands of years. "That would mean that he's _thousands_ of years old. Jesus." She sat silently for a moment, trying to absorb the concept of time, or lack there of. She'd been in Egypt before and got a quick glance at the pyramids without the availability to see them up close. To think that there was someone alive that lived in that period was truly shocking. "Did he know Katherine? Is that why you don't want to take me to him?"

Harm opened his mouth to speak and then shut it quickly. He brought his hand up and scrubbed his face. Sturgis was right, they couldn't hide away forever. "Mac. . .Katherine was Seth's _only_ daughter."

"That's not something I really wanted to hear." She stated suddenly, her face falling with the news. It finally became clear as to why Harm had done his best to keep her away from his affairs – he was afraid that her likeness to Katherine would be seen as something more than it really was – a coincidence. "What's going to happen to me?"

"I don't know." Harm admitted on a sigh. "I also created you without his permission though they are sometimes lenient when it comes to the death of an innocent victim. And you were an innocent victim in all of this." Besides his own fears over falling in love with a woman that was a copy of his lost love, Harm knew that others would see Mac and immediately want to probe at the meaning. "I swear, Mac, nothing will happen to you."

"I guess we'll see." She said sadly and then turned to Sturgis. "So, how's my case going?" Mac hoped that the man would hold some good news in the shade of all of the current unpleasantness surrounding them. There was no way that Kudrow could be set free and Mac knew that Sturgis was as zealous about that as she was. "That bastard has to be put away forever."

Sturgis glanced down at his hands nervously as he said, "The Collective called me away before we could even step into the courtroom. I put into the Judge's head to issue a continuance. I know how important this case is to you and I wasn't ready to push it onto someone else. Not even Roberts." He said with a frown. "The last news I received was that the prosecution found a few people to speak on Kudrow's behalf. I'm not sure if they are trying to claim insanity or if they are planning to vouch that he was somewhere else when the assaults took place. I'm sorry, Mac." The Collective had a nasty habit of requesting things at the most inopportune moments.

As of late, Mac seemed to have the worst luck in cases, but while the others had been petty at best, this was one of the most important cases of her career."When you get back do what you can to put him away and if it doesn't work, we'll appeal." Even if she had to go against Harm's ethical principals regarding an immortal's gifts, Mac would make sure that Kudrow was behind bars.

**Two And A Half Weeks Later  
****1310 Local  
****The Château  
****Loir-et-Cher  
France**

The two weeks following Sturgis' news had become somewhat of a boot camp of sorts for Mac. Gone was any form of romantic interaction between her and Harm. It made it difficult not to be angry. She knew he was only trying to protect her but hated his methods. The way that Harm could shut off his emotions and pretend that they were nothing more than friends always disturbed her. It reminded Mac of the elicit kiss that they'd shared during her engagement party and the nothingness that had ensued afterwards. Even the long trip to France had been a silent one.

Crossing through the countryside they passed many small homes, farm houses and even a few large Châteaus until Harm veered off to a dirt road with no discernable signs. The tires of their rental car crunched on the uneven surface and a ten minute ride seemed to go on forever until the car was swallowed up by a dense forest and stopped in front of a set of thick iron fences. Looking left and right, Mac noted a ten foot high stone wall with iron points at the very top to stop any intruders.

There were no guards or security of any sort except for a closed keypad which extended from a metal pipe that ran into the ground. Harm opened the keypad box, punched several keys and then pressed his finger to a small plate at the bottom. He winced as a needle shot up and drew a bit of his blood and then waited patiently. "This system was invented twenty years ago. It basically tests and matches our blood and fingerprints with people who are allowed in the property. You also have to enter in a secret alphanumeric code." He explained and rapped his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel as he waited for entrance.

Minutes later, a loud beep sounded from the machine before a light turned green, signaling that it was safe to enter. Then the gates parted and Harm drove pass, still engulfed in the dense forest that served as a perimeter for the 2,000 acres which the property stood on. "You need to be on your guard here."

"I figured as much."

"No. . . The Chateau is big, there will be a lot of immortals there that knew Katherine and might find it odd that you look like her." He hated having to remind her of the resemblance but knew that it was for Mac's own good. Harm was quite certain that Katherine's kin would not take kindly to her. "Her brothers especially . . .All but one of them hate me. . .They think I could have stopped the attack on her."

Mac hesitated a moment and then asked, "Could you?"

"As much as I blame myself for not doing more . . .We were blindsided and I wasn't a warrior then." He hated to admit it but Katherine had him as more of a love slave than a husband. It was amazing to him how finding Mac had started to cloud his judgment of Katherine. He was seeing things now, little things that didn't seem right. But then, he'd been young, impressionable and sheltered during his life with her.

Harm held his breath as they drove pass the trees and found the clearing which opened up to a large, gothic looking building. The term "large" was an understatement and he heard Mac gasp as her eyes took in the sight. "When you said Château I was expecting a large mansion in the woods not a. . ." Her eyes slid over the building and its five stories of grandeur. ". . .small city."

Built in the 1400s, the Château had been the creation of Seth himself as a means of establishing a home base for his family and The Collective itself. The façade was absolutely intricate and specific details had been taken into consideration to the ornate decor of the building's roofscape which looked like a city line with several rooftops extending skyward. There were six turrets, four in the front of the Château which extended upwards to spires. The other two, at the rear of the home. A wall ran along the perimeter, making the rear side of the Château appear more like a fortification.

To the right and up, at the end of a well maintained dirt road was a small home as well as another road which led to the stables and garages in the rear. "With over 400 rooms, yeah, I would say this place is a small city."

Mac expected to see several people bustling about but her first sign of life was that of the man waiting expectantly at the front door. "Doesn't look like there are too many people here."

Harm shrugged. "People come and go. For the most part, Seth and his family live here as well as some of our hunters and their families. I lived here with Katherine for around fifty years or so." And the year that they moved out Katherine was killed.

"I've never asked, what year did she die?"

He remained silent for so long that Mac thought he'd never answer. As Harm pulled the car to a stop he finally said, "1622 on the night of my 400th birthday."

"Harm!" As they stepped out of the vehicle a man looking to be in his mid-20s stepped forward and took Harm in a bear hug. He was attractive with light brown hair, ice blue eyes and a stocky build. While not as tall as Harm, the man certainly was taller than Mac. When he turned her way, she saw him freeze for a moment, his eyes scanning over her body in a peculiar fashion. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

His scrutiny, however, was still unpleasant and she became very aware that this man was likely one of Katherine's family. "I would have thought this was impossible if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes." He stepped towards Mac and extended his hand in greeting. "I'm Michael but I prefer to be called Mike."

Politely, Mac placed her hand in his and nearly snatched it back when he turned it over and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "Sarah MacKenzie, you can call me Mac."

Once Mike released her hand, he remained standing in place still gawking at her as if expecting a trick. "I'm sorry for staring but you look like. . ." Trailing off he turned to Harm and raised his hands in defense, "How is this possible?"

"I don't know." Harm confessed and cast a jaundiced eye towards Mac's direction. He was convinced that she and Katherine shared nothing more than the same face and yet, in this ancient setting, even he was having trouble forgetting the past. "Where are we staying?" He moved around to the trunk of the vehicle and pulled out two duffle bags and the one cooler which had made the trip with them.

Michael motioned to his left at the small home which sat about forty yards away from the Château. "In the manor house." He shouldered one of the bags and motioned for the pair to follow. "I told father it might be a bit weird for you to stay there but he insisted, saying that you and Mac might be more comfortable." All of Seth's children, except Michael, had always taken offense at their father's blatant attempts at making Harm feel like part of the family. It had all been for naught when Katherine's death put a wedge between the two men. To say that Harm hated the man was an understatement. "Harm and Kath lived here for a while." The younger man stated and continued the trek until they reached the front of the manor house. "The maid filled the refrigerator with food and blood. You guys can relax today; Father won't be here until sometime tomorrow. Show Mac around. I'm sure she'd love to see the main house." He suggested and then handed his burden over to Harm. "Here you go. I'll go put your car in the garage."

He started walking back and then stopped and turned around. "He doesn't hate you. . .Though I can't say the same for my brothers but, dad's never hated you." Getting no response, he shrugged at his efforts and hurried back to the vehicle.

Harm pushed open the front door and then paused as the familiar scent from the house took him back in time. He hadn't actually been back to the small home since 1621 and all of his subsequent visits for Enforcer related affairs usually found him staying somewhere in town. He really hadn't wanted to spend more time in The Château than needed.

Mac stepped inside and glanced around. The manor house was much bigger than Harm's cottage in Ireland. In that room alone was a full kitchen with a modern day oven, microwave and all of the conveniences of the century. To the left was a living room with a large television set which was mounted over the mantle of the fireplace. On the right a dinning table which was surely able to accommodate six people rather comfortably. "What's upstairs?" She motioned to the spiral staircase and headed up before Harm could say differently.

At the top she stepped into a bedroom approximately the size of the first floor. She moved further into the room gawking at the elegance of the home. The bed was a large four-poster bed with the proper curtains tied against the posts. The comforter was deep red velvet which matched the throw pillows on the seating area near the window. A door just next to the stairs leaded to a bathroom double sinks, a very large shower and also a Jacuzzi tub which sat to the corner. While it was all very beautiful and offered the conveniences of home, Mac had grown quite in love with the cottage and the bare necessities. It was definitely a treat not to have any distractions while she and Harm were alone together. "Seth has always been big on keeping up with modern technology."

Harm walked to the desk in the seating area and opened up the main drawer to point out a computer monitor, keyboard and mouse. "I haven't actually been _in here_ since the year before Katherine died. Michael kept me up to date on the new _amenities_." He shrugged and closed the desk up. "You're a little more in touch with civilization here."

Walking up to him, Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. She was surprised when his arms wrapped around her. "When we're done here, I want to go back."

"Okay, there's no reason to hide you away anymore." As much as he wanted to go back to a normal life with Mac, he rather liked keeping her to himself.

She shook her head and grinned conspiringly. "Not to Washington, back to the cottage. . . Back to just you and I."

He couldn't help but smile at her words and his arms tightened around her waist. There was nothing more that he wanted than to spend more time with her at his ancestral home. "As much as I would love that, we have to go back to Washington, Mac. . .I just didn't really realize it until now. I have to finish what I started there. You're not in danger, not from whom I thought would try to hurt you. . . We can go to the cottage any time you want but, now, we need to wrap things up here so that we can go home and you can prosecute that bastard. . . I made Sturgis promise to delay as much as possible until I can get you back to take over the case."

Mac was touched that he'd considered her want to prosecute Kudrow. They weren't mortals anymore and definitely weren't held to the same standards but if she could take one more bad man off of the streets, it would all be worth it. "Thank you." Grinning, Harm began moving forward, forcing Mac backwards towards the bed. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I know I've been a bit of an ass these couple of weeks. I just needed to know that you could hold your own out here." He said and finished with a kiss which trailed down to her collar bone. Harm turned his head and began to kiss and nibble on the delicate skin of her neck. Mac's body shivered and she pressed herself against him urging him to continue. They hadn't been intimate since before Sturgis arrived and that lack of closeness was torture. "I want you." Harm whispered softly and didn't wait for an answer as they toppled into bed together.

A short while later Mac lay on her side, watching Harm with curiosity as he glanced up at the ceiling. Their love making had an almost desperate edge to it and she wondered if there was some hidden meaning to that. Gently, she ran a hand down his face, outlining the contours with her fingers. Taking her hand, Harm pressed the palm to his lips. "I didn't think you'd want to make love while we were here." She said softly and blushed at the admission. "I mean, you lived here with Katherine. . .I thought it would be uncomfortable for you."

Harm turned to his side to glance at her. Since stepping inside the home, he'd wanted to forget about his past but he knew it was impossible. The next best thing was to make new memories. Good memories. "The years that we were here weren't the best. We were living in Italy in the mid 1500s and decided to flee when the Roman inquisition came calling. We moved around for years until Seth managed to get word out that he needed Katherine to come home." During the 51 years that Katherine and Harm lived at The Château, only 49 of them were spent in the manor house. "He built this little home for us at Katherine's request. She was used to being on her own, unlike her brothers who had stayed to help Seth. I guess she wanted a place that was close to home but afforded us some privacy."

"How many brothers does she have?"

"Four, Michael which is the youngest, he was only eighteen when we first came here in 1570. Peri, short for Peribsen who was born sometime in 700 bc when Seth found his lifemate, Kiya." He smiled at the word and then saddened at the same time, the woman who had captured Seth's heart had died while giving birth to Michael. She was a charming woman and a person whom Harm loved to discuss history with. Her death had affected him just as much as her children. "Around 100 BC, the twins Alexander and Gabriel were born and then Katherine in 205 AD."

Mac furled her brow in consideration. There had been a huge gap between the birth of Seth's children as well as an extreme difference in their names. "Why did they wait so long between each kid?"

Harm shrugged. "Some of us don't even have kids. You can try and try and try but never get pregnant; I think that's the story with all of us – kind of like God keeping tabs so that vampires don't over populate our food source." As macabre as that sounded, it was the most plausible of ideas. "I never really got along with Katherine's older brothers. I think it's a guy thing; you really aren't comfortable with anyone who dates your sister. Seth didn't help either. Since Katherine was his little girl, he bent over backwards to make sure that we were both happy." In fact, Harm hadn't realized just how much Seth preferred him to his sons until just that very moment.

"When we first moved here it was so exciting to me." He recalled and smiled at the memories of being able to run, with reckless abandon, up and down the fields surrounding the property. Even after all these years, Harm never forgot his mortal illness which prevented him from doing such things. Seth had offered to train Harm and Michael in the art of sword fighting, something that his sons had declined in favor of more modern weaponry. It had been Harm's first taste of battle and he was found to be a quick study. "I had some of the best days of my life here and then. . .Katherine was pregnant, things slowed down, we were more careful." But even being careful couldn't prevent what was bound to happen, "One day we were coming home from horse riding and I find Michael absolutely freaking out. Katherine had miscarried while she was asleep and nearly died from the blood loss. 21 years we spent here while she dealt with the grief of losing our son until she just couldn't handle spending time with her family anymore. So we left, and the rest you know." He sighed deeply, wishing he could force certain parts of his past out of mind. Some things were just harder to forget than others.

"I'm sorry that you went through all of that, Harm. I wish I could make it better for you but I know that I can't." Mac knew that being with Harm meant that there was a lot of baggage that she'd need to help him carry. She was ready for it now though still felt a pang of jealousy at how the past with Katherine still affected him.

Harm wrapped his arms around her and pulled Mac closer so that his body was touching hers. "I know it's hard to trust me when there's so much to my life. I love _you_, Sarah." He chucked at his own thoughts and then said out loud, "With her, I never felt equal. I don't know if it was me and my lack of knowledge of the world at the time, but with her I sometimes felt like she was superior to me. . .With you, I feel like we're equals, despite my age." He couldn't explain it but he had sensed it from the moment they met, Mac was someone who would stand by his side, not in front of him or behind him. "I love that we can argue about things and come to the same resolution at the end. . .And I love that you can defend yourself and that you're tough as nails. . .I love how sexy you are when I look at you and your body blushes all over like it's doing now."

Harm's voice had dipped to a low, seductive timbre. He slipped a hand under the sheets partially covering her body and moved from her arm down to her hip bone. "I love the way your body forms perfectly to mine when we make love." His body covered her own then and Mac's legs parted to accommodate his body against her own. They kissed wildly and passionately, Mac sucking at his tongue while his hands roved over her excited flesh.

Releasing his mouth, Mac plunged her fangs into his shoulder, the mixture of pain and pleasure so intense that it nearly blinded Harm as he plunged into her. They made love at a frantic pace, Mac matching his movement until she felt his own fangs pierce her flesh. It didn't take long for both of them to black out, spent and sated.


	19. Endless Dark

****

Hey Gang!! Thanks for being patient! Between my boss having me write up data files for 1,400 products and my laptop being broken (sometimes you just DO NOT feel like sitting at a desktop all day long!!!) this story has taken longer than I would have liked. The good or bad part about that is that now it's EXTENDED. ;) I added a few things that just popped up out of nowhere but works. LOL! I hope.

Extra special, with frosting on top, thanks to V for just rocking these out!

Enjoy!

**Loir-et-Cher  
France**

Jackie

Side note: The Chateau is a cross betwen the Biltmore Mansion in North Carolina and Château de Chambord in France. I mean, Seth needs a big, bad place, right?!

Chapter 19 – Endless Dark  
0820 Local  
The Chateau

Harm awoke with a start as he heard someone stepping into the bedroom. He whirled his head towards the door, ready to pounce until he spotted Mac carrying in a tray. "Mac? What's the matter?"

"Why does anything have to be the matter?" She said and settled the tray on the empty side of the bed. "Can't I make you breakfast in bed? You've been taking care of me for the last few weeks; I had to return the favor."

"What time is it?" He asked, and then pulled himself up to a sitting position, accepting the tray she handed him. She took a plate off of the tray and settled in next to him.

Mac thought for a second and then said, "8:21 local. . . My internal clock has been a few more seconds off than usual since you turned me." She figured it was all of the time that she spent unconscious as well as the difference in time zone. Nevertheless, the accuracy was almost perfect and she could live with that. Taking a mug of coffee, she took a sip and motioned for him to do the same. "I made it like you usually drink it, six teaspoons of sugar and a quarter cup of cream." She made a face at his form of coffee and then shivered. "I swear, it tastes more like maple syrup than it does coffee."

Harm took a peek at the vast darkness in her mug and snorted, "Better than lighter fluid. Thank God this stuff can't kill me; whenever you or Chegwidden make coffee I'm afraid that my kidneys might need dialysis." He joked but was on the money, at least with Chegwidden's Seal coffee which could probably be used as jet fuel. And then there was Tiner who had forgotten, on more than one occasion, that the coffee machine required a filter. Shaking his head, Harm took a fork and cut off a piece of the omelet that Mac had made.

"How is it?" She asked after swallowing a bit herself, deciding that it was light, fluffy and delicious.

For many years the pair had joked about their cuisine, Mac comparing everything to his meatless meatloaf and Harm couldn't forget when they'd been working on a case in the living room and she'd nearly burnt her kitchen down. To be fair, the woman _could_ cook, just chose not to. She'd explained once that it was rather boring to cook for oneself and it was just easier to pop something in the microwave. But if there was one thing Mac was very fond of, it was breakfast. He'd found it cute when they'd gone to an all-day breakfast place in Texas and while he was having a salad, she was eating through one hefty stack of buttermilk pancakes.

He'd never really been a big eater and was sated rather quickly; Mac on the other hand, savored her food like she did her life. Her homemade breakfast was definitely some of the cuisine which he preferred. "It's great though not as good as those homemade waffles." He grinned her way, hoping that she'd get the hint.

Chuckling, she waved her fork at him. "No waffle iron here, but I can make some pancakes and just use a similar batter." Harm had driven her crazy the day that she'd decided to treat him to MacKenzie's Wonderful Waffles, as he'd dubbed him. He'd been trying to swipe the recipe since. "And no, I'm not giving you the recipe, don't ask."

"Well, we're going to be together for a very long time, eventually I'll figure it out."

Mac shook her head. "Not a chance." She missed their banter and the fun that they used to have. Thankfully, that part of their relationship survived intact. Life was too boring sometimes to not have a little fun.

Once they were done with breakfast, Harm took the tray downstairs and set the plates and glasses in the dishwasher. He was amused at the irony of staying at such an old establishment with such modern conveniences. He glanced around, spotting paintings and decorations all picked by Katherine, including the dinning table. Her presence was making the home feel tiny, almost claustrophobic. As much as he wanted to forget her, the memories would always be there.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Mac slipped an arm around him and snuggled close to his side. Staring out of the kitchen window she could see The Château standing there majestically in the morning light. "You have history here. I can't blame you for thinking of her." Even though Mac understood, it didn't mean she was pleased by it. She didn't like being someone's doppelganger, nor the looks that Michael had given her. If Harm's warnings were any indication, she'd be the recipient of many other strange looks as the days progressed.

For now, Harm didn't want to consider their likeness or the up coming meeting with Seth. He just wanted to spend time with her and forget the past. Taking her hand, Harm pulled her towards the steps. "Let's go back to bed. No one here has a mortal job so they keep Immortal hours. They won't be up until 5 or 6 tonight."

"Right, like we're going to get any sleep." She said, laughing when Harm took the steps two at a time.

**1748 Local  
The Chateau  
****Loir-et-Cher  
France**

"Close your mouth, you'll let flies in." Harm whispered to Mac as they stood inside the great room of the Chataeu. The walls were a white stone, stretching upwards to fifteen foot arched cielings. Within each section there were small squares etched into the stone, inside each a coat of arms and the famous fleur-de-lis. The floors were another kind of stone, beautifully maintained and polished to a mirror shine. In the center of the room was a great staircase that went straight up the center and broke off to the two separate wings of the home. On the main landing was a beautiful stained glass window with a multitude of colours that shined from the rays of the setting sun.

From the steps decended a man dressed in khaki pants with a long sleeved blue shirt. He seemed to be in his late twenties and had jet black hair, dark eyes and facial features that seemed to be chisled by an artist. "Harmon." His greeting wasn't friendly and if the slack of his jaw meant a thing, it was clear that this mad did not like Harm.

"Peri." Harm regarded the man in the same fashion. "Where's your father?"

If Peri had a problem with Mac's likeness to Katherine, he didn't show it except for a slight twinge which was barely noticeable. Speaking with Michael had prepared him somewhat, but having her so in reach, he was fighting the desire to cry with joy. "In his office. He wants to see you, alone." He stepped off the stairs and walked right to Mac, his hand shaking as he extended it in greeting. "You must be Mac."

Mac took his hand and expected a kiss but, instead, he just held her hand for a moment while his eyes stared deep into her own. She felt a familiar movement in her mind and knew that he was trying to read her mind. Automatically, she thought of a brick wall, hoping that Harm's attempts at teaching her to guard her thoughts would work. Irritation flashed in his eyes as he let go of her hand. "My name is Peri. . .Would you like to me to show you around?"

She turned to Harm seeking his approval which came in the form of a nod. "I would like that, thank you." Confused, she stared at Harm's retreating form as he headed quickly up the main steps without even turning her way. The whole interaction was certainly odd and she doubted that other interactions would get better. At the very least she would try to be amicable. "Where are we going?" She followed Peri down a long hallway lined with windows that she knew had a special UV treatment.

"You'll see." Peri lead her through one hallway to something that resembled a foyer and then stopped at a set of double doors. "I don't know how long they'll be chatting, but this will give you something to do." Opening the doors, he led her into a room that was absolutely massive. "This is the main ballroom, there's a smaller one on the East wing." He pointed out and flicked on a light switch.

Three massively ornate chandeliers hung from high ceilings, bathing the room in a warm glow. The wooden floors expanded out in a unique criss-cross pattern which could only be seen when standing at the entrance of the ballroom. The first two feet of the walls were wood with a molding that spilt the wood from golden colored wallpaper that stretched to the ceiling where more molding rounded the room. There were five massive windows, all with wispy curtains in a matching gold color. At the end of the room was a small stage where a harpsichord sat, waiting to be played. "Dear Lord, this is absolutely beautiful."

Mac _had_ seen ballrooms before, she and Harm had been to several functions along with the rest of the JAG staff, but the opulence of The Château was truly one of a kind. "This looks to be frozen in time."

Peri grinned and then took her elbow, motioning her to the center wall. "These are the family portraits. Father prefers not to have pictures. Actually, the only pictures that he _does_ have are on a secured computer with files on all members of The Collective."

"What's your job title?" She asked with a raised brow and found it amusing how the man seemed to think as to how to answer. "Oh, c'mon. I'm one of you now, it's not like I'm going to run off and tell someone. Not that anyone would believe me anyway."

"I'm a scientist." He said finally and followed Mac as she walked along the wall, looking at each portrait. "We do many things for our kind, including making expired blood usable again. We provide blood for mortal blood banks and even are working on various serums that would _aid_ immortals in the mortal world."

Mac wasn't listening, instead she was trying to put together the century in which each portrait showed. The family was simply stunning, each person just as beautiful as the next. Then she caught an image that she was familiar with. Cocking her head to the side, she studied it knowing that a smaller version sat in the drawer of Harm's desk back in Washington. "Harm and Katherine." She whispered and moved on to find several more portraits of the pair, even one where her twin was heavy with child. Surprised, she studied that picture the longest, feeling an odd sense of pain.

"You remember that don't you?" The voice mad her jump and she turned on her heals to face a man she hadn't met before. He was elegant, with beautiful facial features and dark, piercing eyes. The man bore an uncanny resemblance to Peri.

"You must be Seth."

The man held himself in check for a moment, seeming displeased that she would use such a name. He took a breath, regained his composure and smiled. "Yes. I'm Seth."

"Do you have a last name?" Except for Harm and Sturgis, Mac had failed to hear any other immortal introduce themselves with anything more than a first name and wondered why that was.

Seth nodded, "Several, actually. Vampires don't really care to have a last name; it just makes us easier to track. So, we create a new one every few years just to deal with business related issues." He saw that she wasn't terribly impressed with the idea so he offered an olive branch. "Currently, I'm Seth de Artois."

"So you keep your first name but change the surname?" Harm had done that, choosing some variation that was close to his ancestral name.

"Yes. Though some of our law breakers try to change their name completely in hopes of evading capture. It rarely works." He studied Mac for a moment and appearing to be satisfied in what he saw, motioned towards the door. "I'd prefer for us to chat in my office, if you don't mind."

Seth was being extremely pleasant and though she didn't want to fall into a false sense of security, Mac truly could not find something worth fearing. At least, not yet. "Only if you lead the way." She said with a smile and followed down a separate hallway that, while grand, was not quite as ornate as the others. There were more paintings on the walls, landscapes of nature as well as more stone statues. It made Mac wonder if any of the pieces were from a famous painter like Monet or Michelangelo.

"I have a few original Monet's." Seth said suddenly and turned to start up a winding stone staircase. Pausing, he turned around to find Mac still at the bottom and staring at him with a perplexed expression. "Are you coming?"

"You read my mind and I didn't even notice it." She accused more disgusted with herself than she was at his probing. While she had defended herself against Peri, Mac could not hold her guard up at all times. It was much too difficult for newly turned vampires and something that would take years, even centuries, to master. For Harm, guarding his thoughts was just like breathing – involuntary. Unlike breathing, if he was injured or very worried, thoughts could be sent out subconsciously, allowing for any immortal, young or old, to hear them.

Seth chuckled. "Well, it's not like you were guarding them. . .In fact, you seem to be _broadcasting_ your thoughts at the moment and have been since you were downstairs looking at the paintings. . .Come along, now." He motioned for her to follow until they reached the very top which landed at the second story and another long hallway.

This part of The Chateau looked more 'lived in', if you enjoyed medieval appeal. A dark red rug ran the entire length of the hall. There were several doors and between each hung tapestries in all shapes and forms. Though large chandeliers hung from the ceiling, at certain intervals, Mac found sconces that were likely used to illuminate halls in the old days. She nearly bumped into Seth when he suddenly stopped and opened the fifth door on the right side. "Wow."

Naturally, the owner's office was meant to show his strength and power but Mac was taken by how beautiful the entire space was. The walls were mahogany that reached the ceiling and then flowed around the room in the form of crown molding which then shot across and met in the middle. To the left was an extremely large conference table with enough chairs to sit, at least, sixteen people. Against the wall near the table were various types of warriors dress from traditional Japanese Samurai armor to chain mail all with their accompanying weapons. Turning to the right was a seating area with four leather sofas and a coffee table between them. An expanse of shelves covered with books of all types of bindings and colors ran the length of the shelves. They even offered a sliding ladder to reach the books in the upper shelves. Right in the center of the office was a large desk, behind it windows floor to ceiling windows lined the wall. Stepping forward, Mac was able to peek out and see the view of the gardens. Even with the low light from dusk, the rear area of The Château was breathtaking. The gardens were a collection of miniature hedge mazes and rose bushes in every color imaginable. The different sections pieced together to form a horticultural version of a stained glass window surrounding a large pond at its center. "Perhaps Harmon can show you the gardens later. The pathways are lit at night and though not as beautiful as in daylight, they are still worth a look."

Mac turned to him and raised a brow in question. "Let me guess, there's some story in those gardens, something having to do with Harm and Katherine, right?"

Seth didn't answer, his annoyed expression was answer enough. "Let's move to the seating area, I've had the maid bring some tea and scones."

"Thank you." Mac eyed the tea suspiciously, deciding to forego any food until she was safe with Harm. She was grateful when Seth took a seat across from her, leaving plenty of space between them. "How long has The Collective existed?"

While Seth had intended to be the only one asking questions, such an act required her to drink the tea which was infused with a couple of droplets of a psychotropic chemical. Throughout the years, Seth had toyed with small doses of the drug to help an immortal successfully fall into hypnosis. "Myself and seven other immortals created The Collective just after the Medieval inquisition. Around the late-1200s"

Though Harm hadn't been an Immortal at that time, he'd heard stories from Katherine of the vampires having to run off and leave their belongings in order to survive. It was how she'd arrived in Ireland in the first place, choosing to leave her father and brothers behind in order to survive. "Historians want to believe that it was all Religious persecution and it was, but it was more than that."

There were secrets that were not written into any history books but the Immortals knew the stories by heart. "One of the Cardinals during that time had a priest working under him who was constantly hospitalized due to some mysterious illness. When the years went by and the priest failed to age, the Cardinal thought it a sign of Satan and began to search out others like the priest. Anyone who they found with such a condition was tortured and killed. Figuring that there was a greater chance success, that Cardinal founded a secret order meant to eradicate vampires. We don't have a count but know that hundreds, if not thousands of vampires, were killed during that time and the other Inquisitions to follow until one of us broke through the secrets of the order and managed to steal documents that accounted nearly all of our abilities."

History, for all of its wonders, was truly paved in blood. "Does that order still exist?"

Seth frowned. "Yes. Even today, they are the prime reason why The Collective and its Enforcers exist." He leaned forward and reached for the teapot, pouring some of the liquid in each of the two cups on the tray. "If we find a hunter, we will kill them. No sympathy and no mercy would be given to these individuals." He took the tea cup and slid it across the table so that it was sitting just in front of Mac. "I hope you like jasmine tea. We grow the flowers for it right on our property." Settling back, Seth pretended to take a sip and simply spit it back into the cup.

"What is it that you want from me?" Mac finally dared to ask the question that had been burning so deeply inside. She knew _who_ she looked like and that it would, no doubt, raise a few brows, but this need to summon her to The Château seemed more like a hidden agenda than a once over.

"You're one of us now and the lifemate of a very prominent figure in our community." He sighed dramatically. "There are a lot of things that Harmon knows. . .things that he probably shouldn't know. . .I want to make sure that you can keep our secrets just as well as he has." Although the spiel had been _part_ of his want to speak with Mac, there were more pressing matters. He watched her settle in more comfortably, the invisible weight on her shoulders less of a burden. It would have been easy to sneak into her mind and force her compliance, but Seth knew that Harm had trained her against such an onslaught. It would then be impossible to make her forget what he had done. Instead, he was trying a different approach that would get answers just the same, if not better than a simple mind control.

He tried to hide his relief when she finally reached for the cup and took a sip. The drugs would work almost immediately and offer him, at least, five minutes of unblocked thoughts before the virus took care of its foreign guest.

Harm had hoped to be part of Seth's meeting with Mac and found it extremely odd to find himself seated in a large room amongst a group that he'd come to know like brothers. "When was the last time all of us were in the same room together?" He asked Gabriel, the man sitting across from him.

Gabriel and Harm along with Beck, Octavian, Iain, William and Savin were the seven leaders of The Enforcers. Spread out in charge of different parts of the world, they were the strongest and most experienced in battle which is what awarded them such a coveted leadership position. The group followed up on the toughest vampire cases and dispatched other Enforcers when needed.

Gabriel's green eyes seemed to come alive at the question and he furled his brow in thought, "It's been a while. . .I was surprised you came. Last time we had to meet you in Paris."

"We heard that you found a lifemate, my friend. I'm happy for you." Savin said in a Russian accent that had watered down through time. He was the youngest of the group, born in Moscow in the late 1500s during the reign of Tsar Ivan IV who was commonly referred to as Ivan the Terrible. "There are some pressing matters to attend to." His scowl deepened and he reached for the glass of vodka that was on the table next to him.

The room looked much the same as Seth's office, similar rich colors but while the office was a place of reflection, work and study, this room was created as a situation and war room. The floors were entirely made of marble with a 25ft x 25ft map of the world intricately painted right into the center of the floor. Small tables and chairs were spread out along the expanse of the room and, to the side, where the men all sat, was a small area with seven overstuffed chairs set in a circle, each with a small table next to it. In that room was a large saloon style bar that stretched across the rear wall. Alcohols of all types were available along with cigars, cigarettes and refrigerators stocked with blood.

Iain stood and made his way to the corner where his laptop sat in his bag. He pulled it out and waited for the file to be brought up before presenting it to Harm. "Do you know him?"

A picture of a teenager, pimple faced and wearing a backwards baseball cap stared back at Harm. Did he know him? Of course he did, the boy had been one of the most high profile marks of his career. "Ridley Matthews. I know him."

An orphan, Ridley was dropped off at the steps of a monastery in New York when he was only three months old. No note, no information as to why his mother had done that, priests had made it their mission to raise the child. Through the years, the priests noted that Ridley had accelerated mental abilities, the boy was a genius. However, like many geniuses, his mind was flawed and filled with a penchant for violence that the priests fought hard to help him battle. It didn't help that Ridley had the rare ability to manipulate minds, just like immortals did.

His gifted mind allowed for Ridley to skip high school entirely and was accepted to a local university at age fourteen where he met Professor Theodore "Teddy" Chikola, an economics teacher whose want to educate stemmed beyond molding young minds. Teddy was fourth generation vampire hunter and like his father and grandfathers before him, searched for impressionable young adults to aid in their mission. Almost instantly, he'd set his eyes on Ridley.

The boy was resilient at first, unwilling to bend until Chikola showed him the proof of a vampires existence In his basement was a special room made entirely of metal. Its door had been welded shut and inside its bowels was a male vampire kept alive by small quantities of blood and the belief that, one day, he'd be released. Catching the vampire had been relatively easy, the man was newly turned and, like most young men, though that he was king of the World.

Ridley found the vampire to be nothing more than a caged animal, a play thing for his wicked thoughts. And play with him he did, often forcing the vampire to comply by way of his astute mental abilities. Once bored with the immortal, he forced the man to slash his wrist and bleed to death. His powers were fascinating and Chikola had found a new soldier for the cause.

Harm was first notified a year and a half ago, when Seth had taken him off of several cases in order to turn his full attention towards Ridley. He was finally located in Pennsylvania and, with great effort that nearly cost him his life, Harm managed to put the boy under his control, making him his prisoner. It had been difficult, the boy was only sixteen and Harm battled with the demons surrounding the death of his own children. Ridley had to die, it was essential if it meant keeping everyone in The Collective safe.

In his possession, Harm had found several documents, including the location of various Immortal homes and a partial copy of a list that had information about everyone in The Collective. The information had still been in their special written language, but Harm was sure that a mind like Ridley's would likely decode the information no matter how long it took. He wanted to kill the boy onsite, but was ordered to escort him to a secret holding facility located in the depths of the Arctic Circle.

The facility was a prison of sorts, used to hold immortals whose crimes warranted a punishment other than death. It had been Seth's idea to keep Ridley alive in hopes that the boy would disclose information on The Order that could be of use to The Collective. "Why wasn't he killed?"

Octavian snapped his head up and stared at Harm in disbelief. "He's just a boy." It was difficult to voice out what he thought of the whole situation, having had children himself; he was surprised at how heartless Harm seemed. "A boy."  
"Yes, he is a boy. . . with an extraordinary mind. . .I've seen him do things to other immortals that we thought was impossible. . .He's also been completely brainwashed by The Order." All of his hard work in capturing the kid was all for naught. "How did he escape?"

"After you caught him, Seth went to meet with him and was intrigued after spending several hours with the boy. He decided to spare him in hopes that he could gather information on The Order." Gabriel flinched at his words knowing that it wasn't something that anyone wanted to hear their leader was doing. Normally Seth was a level headed individual and defensive of the vampires to a fault. Visiting inmates was simply unheard of, that was part of their penance. William spoke up then "From what he told me, he did help us out. Gave us the names and addresses of a few people . . .I guess he was just biding time."

"_How_ did he escape?" Harm asked, suddenly concerned that one of their own had been hurt in the process. The guards watching over vampire prisons were usually the youngest from the Enforcers and were given grunt work as a result.

"He manipulated one of my boys." Beck said with disgust and took a long puff from the cigar that he was smoking. "I had to terminate the lad. . .The fucking council wouldn't let him off with a warning."

Harm's fear was almost palpable. He was probably the only one that understood that this was not just a routine job. The boy had eluded him for months and the only reason why he'd caught Ridley was because he caught up to him while he was asleep and suffering from the flu. Curiously, he skimmed the men in the room, while they weren't the closest of friends, they were like brothers. The battling between The Collective and the rogues had forced them to form an alliance that would only be broken through death. The strange part of it all was that Harm had never been in the same room with the other six men. If there were meetings it was only one or two, maybe three of them that would meet up. Yes, the situation room had seven seats but that was reserved for emergencies only. While Ridley was somewhat of an emergency, it didn't warrant for all seven of them to come together. Unless the most catastrophic of things occurred.

"He has the list doesn't he?"

"Yes," Iain confirmed with a nod. "We don't know how much he was able to get, but we know it was accessed the same day that he escaped."

The list was the absolute most guarded thing in the vampire world and, Harm decided, the worst thing ever created. One of the top members of the council had suggested that a list be generated with the names and personal information of all members of The Collective. It would be a vampire census of sorts but only displayed immortals that directly worked in or for the collective. Seth and two others had opposed the creation of the list stating that it would be dangerous in the wrong hands, but the elder vampires ignored their concerns and pushed its creation along. It was to be locked in a special computer that could only be accessed after passing no less than four different security checks. Ridley had stolen part of that list once before and if he could piece the two together, The Collective was doomed. "How long ago did he escape?"

"We found out a few days ago, but figure he's been out for a days."

"Days? He could be anywhere by now." Harm trailed off on a sigh and began to rub his temples against a headache that he felt looming over him. "Let's get the hunters together, have them drop their current cases and search for Ridley."

Beck had made sure of that from the moment they realized the boy was missing. "We've done that. The only problem is that he's been sighted in France, New York and Australia almost simultaneously."

"He's coming here." Harm said with certainty realizing that, with the seven of them together, they were sitting ducks for any attack that The Order may launch on The Chateau. "The seven of us are here, together . . .That never happens and if his intention is to rage a war against us, getting rid of us seven is the perfect way to start. . . For now, I think we're safe. He needs to find some followers, even a few crack pots who were taken in by The Order and trained . . .That gives us some time but I wouldn't press our luck past a few days."

Interested, Octavian leaned forward. "What do you propose?"

"We need to get moving as quickly as possible, bring some of our boys to France, have them stay in the outskirts but not come to The Chateau . . . as for us, we need to make Ridley believe we are all here . . .Only Gabriel and I will stay, the rest of you need to leave but do so inconspicuously. . .I'll give you all 48 hours. . .it will give us time to plan and put an army together."


	20. Close To The Flame

Yes, me dears, the end is in sight. ;-) 3 chapters more and we're done.

No sequel, I have a few things in the books to do next. Besides, I wouldn't know where to go with this after the end.

So onward!

Enjoy!  
Jackie.

**Chapter 20 – Close To The Flame**

**2030 Local**  
**The Chateau  
****Loir-et-Cher  
France**

Harm was exhausted after meeting the Enforcers but was satisfied at the plan which went into play almost immediately. Beneath the stone floors of The Chateau was a maze of tunnels that led to storage rooms. The longest tunnel stretched past the perimeter of Seth's land and ended under a barn of an opulent farm house owned by a mortal in the French government, an associate of Seth's. The tunnels were used to move the enforcers out of the Cheateu without letting prying eyes in on the operation. Only Harm and Gabriel stayed behind.

The first time that Harm dealt with Ridley he was shocked at how strong the boy really was. It took an almost supernatural force for Harm to guard his mind and even still, there was a brief moment when he feared he'd lose the battle. Thankfully, nature had intervened and caused a fluctuation to his powers during which Harm launched at him and injected an anesthetic that knocked him out instantly. This time, he wouldn't be brought in alive and rather than using ChemTek ammo, which was useless against mortals, their pistols would be loaded with regular bullets.

Walking across the rocky driveway, Harm could see a figure sitting on the steps outside of the manor house. He didn't expect to find Michael sitting outside but was sure that it meant something was wrong with Mac. "What happened to her?"

Michael stood up, followed Harm in and pointed towards the sofa where Mac lay. Her appearance was different, shaded with lines of exhaustion. She was shaking from the drugs still running in her veins, a concontion which was too strong for her to handle. Had she still been mortal, the medication would have killed her in less than half an hour. "I don't know what father gave her, but she's been like this for at least an hour." He made a face and sighed deeply, disgusted with the efforts of his father and older brother. "I tried to feed her but she still didn't wake up."

Harm ran his hand softly over Mac's cheek, distressed at how tired she looked. Not even the Turn had taken so much out of her. "Stay here and watch her." He commanded. "I'm gonna go have a chat with Seth."

Once outside of Seth's office Harm didn't bother knocking, merely stepped in not surprised to find both Seth and Peri at the seating area. "Sir, I need to speak with you."

"Harmon, time and time again I've asked you _not_ to call me 'sir.'" Seth scowled as he made notes on a legal pad he'd used when questioning Mac. "That word makes me feel old."

Harm raised a brow in disbelief and resisted the urge to laugh out loud. "You _are_ old."

"Yes, well, I don't need to be reminded _how_ old, thank you."

"As long as you're the one telling me what to do, I'll call you 'sir."

Annoyed, Seth chucked the pen onto the coffee table and stood up. "Harmon, I think you've spent too much time with your military folk."

Sometimes he shared the same sentiment but there was an order and routine which fitted nicely with his personality. "I like the military folk. Everything has a procedure and a purpose."

"You mean to say that we don't?" Peri asked, now equally annoyed as his father.

"I'm saying we can take a page from mortals. That's all." He watched the two men intently, realizing from their posture that the conversation with Mac didn't give them the result they were after. "I came to talk to you about Mac. . .Whatever you did has left her exhausted and I am not going to stand by and let you hurt her while you search for answers that are not there."

Peri snorted and his dislike of Harm hiked up another notch. He'd never quite liked the man, finding him too puny and weak to match with his powerful sister. Her death had cemented this belief and his dislike multiplied. It also did not help that Seth seemed to have a soft side for Harm. "Her name is _Katherine._ I would really prefer if you call my sister by her _real_ name."

_This_ is what Harm had feared all along, the general feeling that Katherine had, somehow, come back. While he had once hoped it was the case, now Harm only had eyes for Mac. "Until you find out otherwise, Sarah MacKenzie _is_ her real name. As much as you want to believe it, she's _not _Katherine."

"I know you think you know her better, but I'm her father." Seth said, then picked up his tablet which he took to his desk and stuffed into a drawer. "I want to be sure."

"I'm sure! Katherine died. . I saw with my own eyes, she died. . . I would like to bring her back, that won't happen." In some ways, he did want her back, if anything to beg her forgiveness for not taking care of her better. "What happened with Mac? What did you do to her?"

"Our exercises this afternoon were difficult on her. . .She likes to resist." Seth said with a grimace only to find Harm chuckling at his admission.

"She's a Marine. She's trained to resist. I'm just afraid that you'll push her too hard and wind up killing her."

"She's stronger than that."

"Yes, she's strong. She's the strongest person I've ever known. . .Stronger than Katherine was. But what you're looking for, you're going about it the wrong way."

"I've heard enough of this. Goodnight, father." Peri said, and quickly moved out of the room, bumping into Harm on the way out. "Goodnight Harm."

Seth watched the interaction, not amused with his son's actions. "I really wish you two would get along." He sighed deeply. "Let me ask you something: do you want it to be her?"

Harm scrubbed a hand over his face, knowing that if he lied, Seth would surely catch it. As strong and powerful as he was, Harm was no match for an elder vampire. "At first I did. . . I used to pray to God that one day she'd remember me. . .Now, I just want her to be Mac." What truly shook him from within was the knowledge that her loss would bring back the evil monster with a vengeance. "Seth, I'm not prepared to lose someone again. . . I can't. . .If I lose her this time, it's over. .. You're going to have to kill me because I will _really_ lose myself. . .There's no turning back this time. There's no saving me."

Losing Kiya, Seth understood what Harm was feeling in terms of losing a life mate. While Kiya had died during childbirth, Katherine's violent death caused a psychological damage that was nearly impossible to recuperate from. "I'm not trying to kill her, if that's what you think. I'm trying to find the truth."

"Find another way."

There wasn't another way and what Seth was trying to unravel affected both men. He just couldn't explain without betraying his daughter and the secret she begged him to keep. "I'll try to wrap it up with the next meeting . . .It's important, Harm, more than I can tell you."

Reluctantly, Harm gave in. It wasn't like he had much of a chance of changing Seth's mind anyway. "Fine. . . One more meeting. . .Good night." With that, he stepped out of the office and headed back to the manor house to find Michael sitting outside again. He chuckled at the younger vampire's expression and patted him on the back as he sat next to him. "What's wrong, Mike?"

"She's not my sister, is she?"

"No."

Michael didn't like the answer, but unlike his father and brothers, believed Harm. He had held out hope at finding her again but realized how difficult that now was. "Did you ever believe that she was?"

Did he? Of course, but hope dwindled with each passing day as Mac's mannerisms were so much different from Katherine's. "For a while I hoped that she was. . .That she would remember me. . .That she would remember us. .As time went by, I knew it wasn't her."

"You sound okay with that."

Harm looked at the younger man and sighed. By the sound of the other man's tone, he didn't seem too pleased. "Mike, it's not that I didn't love your sister. I did and I probably always will. . .If I could go back and change things, stop those men from killing her, I would."

"Even if you knew that you'd meet Sarah?"

Harm thought about that for a moment. If Katherine would have lived and he'd then met Mac, it would have been terrible to decipher his feelings. However, if he had to chose between the two, Sarah would have won his heart. "Yes. I've always felt like a failure because I couldn't protect your sister. I would do anything to keep her safe. But, if Katherine were still alive when I met Mac. . ." He stopped for a moment surprised at what he was about to admit out loud, "I would choose Sarah over Katherine."

Michael couldn't understand how someone could choose the love of one over another. It seemed rather heartless. "If they are both meant to be with you, how could you love one more than the other?"

Harm had asked himself the same question over and over. Having a soulmate wasn't something of varying degrees. It was cut and dry. You loved your soulmate, honored and cherished them and no other. But he knew with certainty that if he'd met Mac while he was with Katherine, the connection would have been strong enough to lure him away. "I don't know. . .I mean, I know that some of our kind have lost a lifemate and then found another but. . .I don't know how it works." He just knew that _something_ was different and the differences were expanding day by day. "But I love Sarah with all my heart."

Inside, hidden by the shadows, Mac stood not wanting to eavesdrop on the private conversation but unable to turn away. They were talking about her, after all. She was surprised to hear Harm's words, spoken with such conviction. He loved her; really loved her. Mac knew that, of course, but not to the degree that he would have chosen her over Katherine. That confession was absolutely shocking to hear. She didn't believe that the depths of his love for her ran so deep. Now she felt like a fool for not believing him.

Quietly, she removed two bags of blood from the refrigerator and drained each before heading up the steps to their bedroom. Remorse gripped her heart, squeezing it tightly so that she could barely breathe. Mac sat on the edge of the bed and bent over, deep, sorrowful sobs shaking her body. God, what was wrong with her? Why did she have to second guess everything? Her doubts and insecurities weren't fair to Harm who did the only thing he could in order to keep her alive.

She didn't hear him enter the room, only felt it when his hand dipped under her chin to raise her head up. "Mac? What's wrong?" He asked in a concerned voice as the flames of anger danced in his eyes. If Seth hurt her, he would move Heaven and Earth in order to dispense his brand of justice. "Mac, talk to me." He probed; dread seeping its way into his heart.

Mac opened her eyes and looked at him – _really_ – looked at him. She saw the love shining in his eyes along with anger and worry. How could he ever consider himself a monster? The man before her, while he had, indeed, committed evil atrocities, just didn't have it in him to hurt her. She knew that and it was that knowledge which allowed Mac to seduce him so many months ago. Yet, part of her feared that his attraction to her stemmed from Katherine. It was a weight off of her shoulders to know it was not true. He had fallen in love with her.

_Completely. _

_Forever._

Mac brought her hands up to cup his face. Her thumbs stroked his cheeks gently and she saw the fires of anger hadn't subsided. Whatever was going on in the turmoil of Harm's mind was not directed at her, Mac knew. She wondered what had happened to make him so upset. Were they in danger again? Leaning forward, she captured Harm's lips with hers, tasting a sweetness of wine. She savored the sweetness knowing that, as a vampire, she could partake in spirits if she wished without much consequence. Mac didn't and wouldn't betray all her years of sobriety.

Her hands moved from his face, sliding downwards and settling over the expanse of his chest. "I want you." She whispered, not wanting to destroy the spell that had woven itself around them. According to Harm, it was like this with all lifemates – the need, so strong, that it would never be sated. Not that she minded, making love with him was like collaborating with the elements around them. Each and every time it was as if an explosion had brought the Earth to nothing but dust. It was as if they'd been lovers since before the dawn of time.

"Mac, a moment ago you were passed out from exhaustion." His argument was holding little water, Harm noticed. Her hands were dipping lower, touching him through the fabric of his jeans. He pressed his lips against hers, kissing deeply as she opened her mouth to him.

Mac smiled against his lips. He wasn't about to win this battle. "I fed a little and feel much, much better." She said between kisses to his lips, cheek and collarbone. Her fingers nimbly worked on the buttons of his shirt until she was able to push it from his shoulders. She caressed his chest, aching to feel his flesh against her.

Even as his own need began to grow, Harm pushed her hands away and sat back on his haunches. "I need to know that you're alright. . .What Seth did. . ."

"I'm fine." She cut him off, annoyed at his lack of compliance. "And I'm going back tomorrow so he can finish poking and prodding. Or whatever the hell it is he did."

Harm looked as if she'd lost her mind. Despite his earlier conversation with Seth, he wasn't about to submit her to another round of 'poking and prodding', as she'd put it. "You aren't going back. . .I can't leave here, not yet. . .Something came up." He said suspiciously and then turned away so that she could not read the distress in his eyes. "But, I can get you out of here. . .Get you back to the cottage. You're safer there."

Mac crossed her arms definitely and raised a brow in irritation. That patented look often worked on him. "You are not going to hide me away like a damsel in distress, Harmon." When he made to argue, Mac stood up and began pacing wildly, a complete 180 to the fragile woman he had found moments earlier. "I'm _not_ her. . .And I'm going to do whatever it takes to prove that to Seth _and you_."

Harm sat on the carpet, leaning his back against the foot of the bed and looked up at her as she paced. "Don't get all defensive on me, damnit! I'm only trying to keep you safe."

She pinned him with an angry stare and shook her head in disbelief. "Can't you tell I'm doing this for you? For us?" Mac stopped in front of Harm and then kneeled next to him. "You're never going to be free of her ghost unless you know for sure."

"Mac. . ."

"No. Part of you _needs_ to know what's happening." Sighing, she sat next to him. "Hell, _I_ need to know."

Harm didn't like the idea of Seth poking around her mind or what the outcome would be. He was vowing to put Katherine in the past but, somehow, she always come back to haunt him. "Fine." He gave in, knowing that Mac was right – they all needed to know. "But, if he can't find what he's looking for after this session, that's it. . .No more."

"You always have to sneak something in, don't you? Have the last word?" She said with a smile. "Sometimes it's infuriating, other times it's amusing."

Harm stood up and offered Mac a hand, bringing her to her feet. "Let's just go to bed, we can talk about how infuriating I am tomorrow." He moved forward, his larger frame towering over Mac as he backed her towards the bed which made her chuckle. "You _did_ say you wanted me."

"Always." Mac said as she fell into bed, sighing happily when his body covered hers.

**  
1735 Local**  
**The Chateau  
****Loir-et-Cher  
France**

Seth sat across from Mac who had, wisely, opted not to partake in any drinks that he'd offered. She sat there with a cocky smile, pleased that she'd managed to beat his system. Mac had noticed the drugs before, but was too far under to do anything about it after consuming the tea. "So, what did you put in the tea this time?"

Despite himself, Seth laughed wholeheartedly at the question. "Same concoction, different mixture . . .It's only herbs but in a special, high concentration." She continued to stare him down, a small smile curling the edges of her mouth. "I know you are curious as to why I used such a potion on you." At her nod, Seth continued. "You are defiant by nature. Strong. Stronger than most. You would have resisted hypnosis every step of the way. I can't afford to deal with such a setback."

_Hypnosis?_ Is that what he had done to her? When Mac awoke last evening she had felt as if her brain was mush. There was an ache all over her body and a dehydration that was appeased only after drinking two bags of blood. In her limited experience, it felt almost as if she had been turned again. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"A few things. . .You have a hard mind to crack. You always did."

Mac crossed her arms in a show of defiance, but to a trained eye like Seth's she was shielding herself against the truth that he was seeking; a truth that she had begun to seek for herself and Harm's sake. "Look, I need to know because it's driving me crazy - am I Katherine?" She asked, her voice edgy.

"Yes." Seth's simple answer wasn't what she was hoping to hear, though Mac shouldn't have expected otherwise. All of the men seemed convinced, only Harm seemed to be on the outside looking in. "Though not in the way you think."

"Reincarnation?" He was Egyptian, it made sense that he would believe in a life after death. Being vampires, they defied death. Reincarnation wasn't too far of a stretch. It was the thought of being someone else which was devastating, unbelievable. She didn't want to be someone else and still, Mac had to wonder why she couldn't remember her past with Harm or this family. "So? What? All of _this_ life has been a lie? I'm a sham?"

"No. . .You are you. You are Sarah MacKenzie, but somewhere in the deep subconscious of your mind is my daughter." There was sadness in his eyes, something that Seth normally masked from his family. He let Mac see it now to make her understand that she wasn't alone in this confusing time.

"What do you want from me?" Mac asked desperately. All she wanted was to be at peace with the person she saw in the mirror every day. She didn't want to be someone else, didn't want to be the clone of someone who had meant everything to the man she loved. "What do I have that you need?"

Seth remained silent, a far off look in his eyes as he stared at a portrait which hung to his left. It was a beautiful piece, commissioned eight centuries ago, when his wife was still alive. He understood Harm's ravenous anger at losing his lifemate. Seth had dealt with the same emotions, but while he had an outlet for his anger, Harm had chosen to turn rogue. "I am sure that Harmon spoke of my wife, Kiya. We were together for thousands of years until Michael was born. She died giving birth to him."

Despite herself, Mac felt a pain deep inside, an ache which she figured Seth was sharing with her. No doubt to make her understand just how painful losing a lifemate really was. "Harm says it's a terrible feeling when you lose a lifemate."

"It's not just grief. . .You _ache _over their death. It's a painful emptiness that strangles you. Some of us can handle it better than others. . .I had my sons and my daughter, they were my reason for living. . .Harmon chose to have no one." He had tried to help the younger immortal but was met with such hatred that any attempts at keeping Harm with the protection of his family were destroyed. "I have ached over Kiya's death and became a miserable old bastard because of it. . .I find little joy in anything and have thrust myself into business. . .Now, I am even more of a mess. . .Last year, I was in London working on a lead for a friend of mine when I saw Kiya."

"Your wife?"

"Just like Harm saw you five years ago."

Mac sat silently for a moment. "I don't understand."

"I was in a pub and she sensed me, turned and our eyes locked for what seemed like hours but it was only seconds. . .It was like neither of us could look away until her husband called her attention. . .She calls herself Elizabeth now but, it was Kiya, I know it. . .I know her. . . Because I love her, I can't and won't force her to leave her husband for me. . .He's a good man and a sick man. . .I will let nature take its course before trying to pursue her. . .Harm once told me that Katherine asked him to wait for her. I never understood what that meant or why she had asked him to wait . .So, after running into Elizabeth, I ventured to Washington in hopes of discussing that with him. I knew that he had a friend in the Navy who had a similar appearance to Katherine but had died several years earlier. . .Then I saw you. He didn't tell me a thing about you, I guess he was afraid that I would intervene. . ."

"At first, I thought he had turned you but, when I noticed that you were with another man, I realized I _had_ to intervene.. . . Katherine _had_ returned . . .Not as herself, but she had returned. . . I understood what he felt. . .and I also knew the pain he was living with so I worked it so that Sturgis would serve with the two of you in hopes of making him realize that you were made for him. . . I'd hoped that Harm would turn you. . .And he did and I made him bring you here so that Peri could run a test on your immortal blood."

Mac was intrigued by the story which, as crazy as it sounded, had something authentic sounding. "Test for what?"

"In the last year, I discovered that there were six of us with the same occurrence. . .Six of us who have lost a lifemate and then found him or her centuries later. All without memory of the past. . . same face, and same connection, but a completely different person."

"So it's more than just a coincidence? There's a reason for all of this?" Mac was interested now and a little shocked that the power between lifemates could be so strong.

Seth stood and walked around the coffee table in order to sit by her side. "I think that the pull between lifemates is so damned strong that not even God can separate us. . .Eventually, you have to meet again." He saw her shoulders slump and didn't have to read her mind to know that she didn't want to be someone else. Mac just didn't want to be changed, even if she held part of someone else within her. "Sarah, I am not looking to change you. . .I don't want to. . .Harm loves you." He sighed, shifting slightly under the weight of her gaze. His eyes had teared up, emotions running lose that he could find someone who would even slightly measure up to his long lost wife. "It's clear to me that Immortals, if linked to a lifemate when they die, will come back. We're meant to be with the same person, no matter how many lifetimes pass us by."

"Meaning what? I am a part of Katherine but I am not her?"

He smiled at how smart she was and understood, for the first time, that Harm had been right, Katherine couldn't hold a candle to Mac. While his daughter was a strong force, she wasn't quite as astute as the woman sitting next to him. "Correct. . .I just need to make sure of something really important before I leave you be."

Mac studied him cautiously wondering if this important thing would be more trouble than it was worth. She didn't see the same look from yesterday, that of a mad scientist. This time he seemed sincere although she realized that he could simply be tricking her with mind control. "You aren't going to tell me what it is, are you?" She felt him touch her mind, easing the fears that she held within. He the answer without speaking and the knowledge that she acquired was horrible and frightening. It was all of the convincing that she needed. "Do what you have to do." She said and gave herself up to the cause.


	21. Poison Girl

**I'm struggling with the ending of this story. I have some ideas but then get ticked with them and wind up deleting and starting over.**

**Anyway, loved this chapter when I thought of it. It's one of those "How could she!" type of things. LOL!!**

**So, enjoy and have a good weekend everyone!**

**Jackie******

Chapter 21 – Poison Girl  
0115 Local  
**The Chateau  
****Loir-et-Cher  
France**

The meetings with the Enforcers had continued that evening with the help of computers and cameras which broadcasted information through secured channels. Gabriel had opted to try misdirection in order to move Ridley and any member of The Order away from The Chateau's grounds. Though Harm was fairly certain that they would be detected if they even made it to the gates, it was better to err on the side of caution.

Hunters in London and Stockholm had each contacted The Collective, stating that Ridley had been sighted at both locations only days apart. While it was possible that it was nothing more than a rouse, Harm had secret knowledge of two vampire elders, high ranking members of The Collective, which lived in either city. "We need to put this place on lockdown. No communiqué, of any form, is to leave these walls. . .If Ridley has somehow managed to locate the elders, he could use them as a means to tracking down Seth."

"You don't believe that he already knows where we are?" Gabriel asked, unsure himself from the confusing messages he'd been receiving. Being Seth's son had often brought him to arguments with other hunters and members of his own family. He dealt with Harm only as a necessity. They were both hunters and protectors of their race. It was difficult for him to admit that Harm had some wonderful ideas when it came to tracking down evil-doers, the love for his sister had clouded his judgement, just like Peri's and Alexander's. "Let me remind you, we're doing this behind father's back and if we're wrong, I won't be the one to pay for your mistakes."

Ignoring the warning in Gabriel's voice, Harm continued. "If you were out to destroy all immortals wouldn't you strike here first, if you knew where it was located?" Harm's theory made sense. As a war tactic, you wanted to strike at the heart of the enemy, especially when you knew exactly where to find him. "The Order lives under the beliefs that Immortals act and live like movie vampires . . . This area of France is usually quite sunny, with vast fields and little by way of protection and shade . . . For all intents and purposes, if we are the vampires that they believe us to be, the ones that die in direct sunlight, this would be on the list of places we would never live."

Laughter from a deep, rich, male voice made Harm turn around to find Peri leaning against one of the walls. "How father ever decided to make you an Enforcer is beyond me." He raised a brow in challenge and stepped up to Harm. "Do you always go around just _assuming_ things? That's very arrogant of you. Let me remind you, Harmon, lives depend on your assumptions." He motioned over to Gabriel and waved him over and then took the maps he was using to dot Ridley's sightings. "I'm ashamed to call you brother, what with you going along with suicidal schemes." Peri glanced at the sheets and then tore them up, tossing the pieces in the air so that they fell around them like confetti. "All this because Harmon _couldn't_ kill a mortal brat. Tell me, what good are you then?"

"Now, wait a damned minute." Harm said grabbing Peri by the lapels and holding him tightly. "Your father asked me to capture and not kill him, if you have a bone to pick, pick it with him. I was only following orders."

Peri chuckled at Harm's tough guy routine and pulled his hands away. "You couldn't kill the boy just like you couldn't kill the men who attacked my sister . . . You don't have it in you to kill until your enemies turn their backs at you. . .That's why you waited so long to avenge her. . .You're a worthless coward and don't deserve to have _my_ ancestral blood running through your veins." He shoved Harm back causing him to careen into the coffee table, shattering it. Satisfied that he'd done enough damage, Peri straightened his clothing and headed out of the room.

In other times, Harm might have let the whole ordeal slide; Peri was born to be an insufferable ass. This time something inside of him snapped and as he came to his feet, the only thought in him was to teach the older vampire just how strong his powers had grown. "Harm, don't!" Gabriel warned, a little too late as his comrade was already rushing out the door.

Harm slammed into Peri from behind and they both tumbled to the ground. He turned the man over and rained down a series of hard punches, intending to break bone. They rolled together, each man getting the upper hand for only the briefest of moments and then turning control back over again. "Stop! Stop this instant!" Seth yelled at the two men and ordered both Gabriel and Alexander to pull the two apart.

Peri managed to get another shot in, one that had Harm stumbling for composure. "Learn to fight like a man, Harmon!" The taunt sent Harm over the edge and, despite being held back, he managed to break free and lunge himself at Peri once again. "If you would have shown this force, maybe you could have saved my sister!" His hands circled Harm's neck, squeezing tightly although strangulation would not kill a vampire. The act was satisfying until Harm managed to pull a knee between them. He extended his leg and sent Peri crashing against the opposite wall.

"This has gone on long enough." Seth said suddenly and then motioned towards Alexander. "Find Michael. I want all of you to join me in my office. _All_ of you." He circled his gaze around the four men so that each knew who he was referring to. "It's time you know the truth about Katherine's death."

Not long after, the six men sat at the sitting area of Seth's office. Harm had chosen an arm chair, hoping not to have to sit between any of the brothers. There was a pleasant sent in the air, familiar, womanly. He knew he was sitting close to where Mac had been just a few hours earlier. "How did the session go?"

Seth had been hoping to speak privately to him and begin with offering an apology and then an explanation. "They went well. I found what I was looking for." He kept his answer brief and generic. None of his sons knew about the new woman that he hoped would one day be part of his life. He didn't want to give them hope that their mother, or at least, part of her, was still alive. "You and I, we used to be friends."

Harm instantly felt the weight of jealousy slamming at him from the other men in the room. They had always seen Seth's relationship with Harm as something inappropriate. He had been treated like a son while his real sons were met with disdain and disapproval. Harm couldn't exactly blame them for hating him. "We were _friendly_ but never friends."

"That's not true. . .We used to talk. . .I remember the two of us and some of the other men spending evenings playing cards and talking. . .What happened to that?"

A mirthless chuckle escaped Harm and he had the nerve to look surprised. "You actually have the balls to ask me what happened." He chuckled again, only this time it sounded purely evil and laced with the hatred he still had inside. "You had your daughter, _my lifemate_, killed . . .I think that's enough for me to hold a grudge that will last a lifetime. . .I have to tolerate you but I don't have to like you."

Alexander was usually the quiet one of the bunch, the only man who never verbally stated his displeasure with Katherine's choice of a life mate. However, something that Harm said still rang in his ears and it bothered him greatly, enough to question his father whom he trusted with his life. "You had her killed?"

Seth was no longer able to hide behind the masquerade that he had created in order to keep elements of her death a secret. Kale's family sought revenge for the damages they'd incurred at Katherine's hands and though Seth wasn't willing to allow them to kill her, he washed his hands of the whole situation. He never actually told them not to and that there would be consequences to their actions. After all, they were putting her to rest, something that he should have done himself but couldn't. "I didn't have her killed, but I allowed it to happen."

"I knew it." Harm said, his voice cracking slightly from the tension in his body. At this very moment he felt a mixture of victory, hatred and remorse. How could a father know that his daughter was to be murdered and not do a thing about it? "I know that turning Garron was wrong and saving me without asking for permission is against our laws. . .But, what did she do that was so evil that you couldn't, at least, warn her?"

Having a lifemate often clouded your judgement on certain issues. Harm's deep infatuation and naiveté had him seeing through rose colored glasses when it came to Katherine. "Murder. . . I loved my daughter, but let's not forget that she was no angel."

Katherine _did_ have a shady past, all attributed to the millennium that she'd spend trying to find a lifemate. Each year the anguish and pain grew until it manifested itself to something evil. She had succumbed to that evil and, as far as Harm knew, she had also been punished for her wrong doings. "She was punished for her past crimes and, while she was with me, Katherine did nothing wrong to warrant you turning the other way while others sought to murder her. She may have turned Kale's father without him being hers to turn, but she didn't force him to murder his family. He did that all on his own."

The weight of the secret he'd been holding never felt greater as it did at that very moment. Seth was a patient man and with that patience came the ability to guard all sorts of secrets, never feeling the desire to divulge them. This once, he was going to break his own moral compass and betray his daughter's wish. "Her death had nothing to do with Garron or Kale. . .Katherine asked me never to tell you this. I know you aren't going to want to hear it but you need to."

Seth stood and made his way around the sofa he was sitting at while scrubbing his hands together. There was no way to blurt it out or gently rip the band-aid off. "The two of you tried several times to have a child."

"And she miscarried each and every time." Harm's face twisted into anguish from memories he'd hoped never to remember again. They had been so happy once and then it began to fall to pieces. "Katherine went through several years of depression because of it. . .Twenty one years, to be exact." A time when he'd lived at the château in hopes of using her family to weather the storm. Nothing seemed to work and she took it out on him. The love was still there, but the relationship was strained. When things were finally back to normal, she was murdered.

"Although she tried, Katherine never recovered from losing your children. I know because we spent many evenings discussing it at length." He said sadly, still surprised that a woman who never wanted children could feel so ashamed at not being able to carry full term. "Did you know that Katherine never wanted children? That the only reason she tried was because she felt so guilty at taking you away from your son?"

Harm hadn't known this and was surprised by Seth's admission. It had been Katherine who nearly forced the issue of children. Perhaps it had been his fault – after Aiden's death, Harm spent centuries honoring his memory on his birthday. He tried to shield his mourning away from Katherine but was stupid if he believed she didn't know.

"Katherine thought herself a failure as a wife when she couldn't conceive a second time. Do you know how much it hurt her?"

Harm sighed, "As much as it hurt me. . .I though she'd made a mistake, that maybe we weren't supposed to be together. I was willing to leave her to find another lifemate."

Peri scoffed at such a notion, he'd often believed that Harm wasn't the man for his sister. "Maybe you should have left her."

Ignoring his son, Seth grasped the back of the sofa and squeezed as hard as he could. Some of the wood trim cracked beneath his palms and he shot a warning glance towards his indignant son. "I asked you to be here so that you can understand. You're not to meddle; this conversation is strictly between Harmon and me." He clarified and then began to pace around the seating area. "My daughter was a damaged woman. Wonderful, intriguing, but damaged all the same."

Many vampires had an inferiority complex when it came to mortals, but in truth they were just as flawed, if not more so. "I had hopes that she would overcome the miscarriages, she'd already overcome so much more." Seth trailed off and sighed deeply before stopping just to the side of Harm. He placed his hand on the younger vampire's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I never wanted to tell you this. . .One night, she came to me while you were asleep and asked my permission to turn a human child. I denied her, of course, and thought it would end there. . But when the two of you moved away from the Château she went against our laws."

Harm's breathing stopped and he felt as if someone was squeezing the life out of him. If ever there was a true sin in the vampire world it was turning children. Vampires needed to be over the age of 25 without exceptions. That was even a rule that the rogue vampires didn't break. Some children couldn't survive the Turn and suffered horrific deaths because of it. "Oh God. Oh God." His eyes began to water, his heart hammered against his chest. Harm felt like he was going to be sick.

"She took your maid's child and tried to turn him . . . The baby couldn't take the virus and died overnight. When that happened she tried again and again and again, eventually moving to older children, hoping that the turn would take root, but it never did."

Harm felt the room spinning out of control, his emotions scattering to a zillion pieces. He'd always sensed that her sin had to have been horrible for Katherine's own father to condemn her. Now he knew the truth and the pain that he'd managed to shove deep down was resurfacing. "All of those children died?"

"Of course. . .Even if they didn't, they would have been put to death."

As heinous as that sounded, Harm knew that would be a better alternative to spending eternity as a child. The few that survived never developed, neither mentally, emotionally or physically. The end result was nothing more than a security risk that constantly needed to be cared for, something that no immortal could afford. The burden was heavier than death itself.

The other men at the room stared at their father in disbelief. Even Peri had to reexamine his hatred for Harm and was grateful not being in Seth's shoes. "Could we have done something to help her?"

"I don't know. . .The first time, I decided to turn away after she'd promised to never attempt it again. . .When we found out about the rest. . .I couldn't protect her anymore." It was a member of the council who had informed Seth of the atrocities after finding three small children's graves in the woods outside of Katherine and Harm's property in Italy. He squeezed Harm's shoulder again, hoping to finally bury the hatchet that had been chopping them both to pieces.

He never wanted Harm to have a marred memory of Katherine but the truth was inevitable. He hoped it would now free him from the vestiges of the path, the man needed to learn to be happy with Mac. "I know you hate me and you have every right to. . .I turned the other way when I should have warned you. . . Maybe I could have helped her. . .Maybe I should have punished her the first time it occurred."

"Why didn't I know any of this?"

"She did a good job at keeping it secret from you." Sighing, he released Harm's shoulder and turned to Peri with an accusing eye. "She would ask Peri for a sleeping tonic, claiming that she was having difficulties going into dead sleep. . .She would use that tonic on you to make sure you'd remain asleep."

Peri glared at his father with disbelief, anguished that his own sister had used his gifts at creating special tonics with herbs in order to subdue her lifemate. That was simply unheard of and something a vampire would only resort to in order to incapacitate a mortal or rouge. "I'm sorry, Harm. . .I didn't know what she was using it for, I swear."

Seth had gone back to the sofa and taken a seat with a deep sigh. He wasn't ready to divulge information to his sons about his recent findings, but he was willing to share something of his last session with Mac. "I knew about Sarah for a long while. It's why I removed Sturgis from submarine duty in hopes that he would push the two of you together. . .I needed her to be one of us before you brought her here."

"What about Kale's interference?"

"A coincidence - he was not part of the plan. When I ordered him to stay away from you, I'd hoped he'd listen." Leaning forward, Seth threaded his fingers together. "There is a belief that was written into one of our great books. It states that for every lifemate that dies, someone is born to replace them, we just need to find them. . .You aren't the first vampire to find a second lifemate that looks so much like someone from the past. I believe that the likeness occurs to make it easier for us to find our missing loved ones."

While that seemed to be all fine and dandy, Harm's emotions were a wreaking havoc within him. Did this mean that Mac _was_ Katherine or was their likeness some sort of vampire mystery, like the virus and so many other things? "She is not Katherine per se, but part of Katherine's soul has found its way to Sarah from the moment of conception and altered her chemistry to match with yours. . .Sarah was created for you, Harm." He hoped he could make sense of something that he didn't understand himself. The sessions with Mac had given him a better understanding but there were still more tests that he wanted to try in order to scientifically prove that even death couldn't destroy a lifemate's chemistry. "The reason why I wanted to have certain sessions with her was to understand it better . . .I also wanted to make sure that none of the evil vestiges of Katherine had taken hold in Sarah."

All of this new information was too much for Harm who was already overwhelmed with capturing Ridley and keeping Mac safe. He stood up and walked to the bar, grabbing a bottle of single malt scotch. He was surprised that no one ordered him to stay and, rather than explaining, he glanced at the five men before leaving the room.

He hurried through the halls and corridors, almost running out of the building. He needed to be alone in one of the few places that he'd felt peace in. As he stumbled into the gardens, Harm found himself assaulted with memories that were long put to rest. He recalled chasing Katherine through the flowers and along the different mazes. Eyes closed, he wove his way through a massive hedge maze, going on memory alone until he found a spot at the very end which no one but the gardeners knew existed.

The area was lit up, as was the entire maze, with a bright white light. It shone on a wedding arch carved out of cedar and wrapped with vines of red roses – Katherine's favorites. Under the arch was an iron and wood bench, their secret hiding place. He crashed onto the bench and doubled over as the emotions poured out of him in the form of tears. "Why? Why?"

Harm stared up at the Heavens, anguished that, once again, God had failed to hear his prayers. While Katherine's death had been his greatest tragedy, news of her sins against children only added another layer of pain. He opened up the bottle of scotch, tossing the cap to the ground before taking a long drink. The amber liquid raced down his throat, burning as it made its way to his stomach. The effects were immediate but would only last a maximum of ten to twenty minutes. He welcomed each ride of drunken stupor and downed some more when the effects began to wear off.

He didn't want to care about anything anymore, didn't want to feel or remember. Everything that had happened was his entire fault. Katherine had suggested, repeatedly, that he let the memories of his mortal family go. It wasn't wise to dwell on things that he no longer had a right to control. But, to appease him, she followed him to Ireland each year, watching as Aiden grew and eventually died. If he hadn't subjected her to such a thing, Katherine would have never taken it upon herself to find a replacement child for him.

_For him._ She'd done it all for him and wound up losing herself as a result.

So many years wasted, grieving over her death when it was exactly what she deserved.

Harm couldn't help but think about Mac and that stupid baby deal they'd made three years prior. If Katherine was in her, even in the most miniscule of forms, what hope did he have that she wouldn't find a similar obsession? Was he doomed to spend eternity alone or would he eventually be hunted after and killed?

"Harm?" He heard his name called from beyond the walls of the hedge maze. "Harm? Where are you?" It was Mac, likely summoned by Seth or one of the boys to make sure he was alright. Harm hoped that remaining silent would turn her away from the gardens but, instead, she managed to find her way through the maze and right to him. "Harm? Oh, wow."

Mac stared at the elegance that was the wedding arch, with its four beautifully etched columns and a rounded top. The rose bushes around the arch were beautiful and full of flowers that then ran up the columns, encircling the arch but not hiding it. This was obviously the place that Seth wanted her and Harm to seek out together. "What are you doing here?" Harm asked gruffly.

There was a strange feeling that had struck her almost half an hour earlier. Mac felt compelled to leave the manor house and follow an invisible energy that had led her into the gardens and through the hedge maze. She didn't understand the compulsion but now, as she saw Harm guzzling down the scotch, she understood. "Seth told you about the children, didn't he?. . . Of course he did. He wasn't sure how to tell you."

"Why do _you_ know?" Harm asked in an accusatory tone.

Mac sighed and took a seat next to him. She managed to reach for the scotch and rip it out of his grasp. "I thought these things don't work on us."

"They don't, not really." Harm slurred, laughing at the waste of alcohol. "It only lasts for fifteen minutes and then wears off. . .Then I drink again."

His words hurt something awful, reminding Mac of her own drunken past. She didn't like seeing him this way. "Seth told me. . .He wasn't going to, but he felt he had to so that I would understand what he was looking for in me." Mac didn't bother explaining about Kiya, in Harm's foul mood the concept was likely not to be received well. "I only found out tonight." She touched his hand, a soft caress that sent little shocks running through him. The feeling only increased as Mac's hand moved up his arm and then to his shoulder where she massaged softly. "Talk to me. . . Let me help you."

"You can't help." Harm was sobering up now, the drunkenness slipping away from his as Mac's fingers set his body on fire. He moved away from her, as much as he could within the tiny space of the bench. Snatching back the bottle, he chugged down more of its contents and grunted as the bitter liquid burned at his insides. "I can't look at you right now, Mac. . . I don't want to be around you."

His words were like a dagger being twisted into her heart. Mac's hand slipped away from him as she stood up. They had said awful things to each other in the past - hurtful words that had the same effect as a torpedo slamming into a warship, but she was sure that she'd never felt as hurt and angry as she did now. "Fine." She stood up and stared him down. "Just like me, you're a _mean_ drunk." Stoically Mac walked away, leaving him alone to face the demons.

Back at the manor house, she collapsed into bed, curling around his pillow and breathing in his scent in hopes that it would keep her anchored to sanity. There was a time where all she thought about was being with him. Now, despite the pull that seemed to bring them together, all Mac wanted was to stay away.


	22. Don’t Fear The Reaper

Wooooh, this took a while to post. Witchy V, our loverly beta, was a bit busy and I did drop her a few too many pages. This is a longer chapter as I couldn't justify breaking it apart.

So, after this, we should have one more chapter and the story is other and I can concentrate on a story based on "The Stalker" which starts off with Mac getting kidnapped and Harm trying to figure out how to keep her safe. It's a story that has been driving me nuts for months so it has to be written! (It also helps that I am around 4 chapters into that one. Hehehe!)

Anyway, another Author's note at the bottom of this one.

For now, enjoy!

Jackie

**Chapter 22 – Don't Fear The Reaper**

**1145 Local  
****The Chateau  
Loir-et-Cher  
France**

Mac wasn't surprised to wake up and find Harm's side of the bed empty. She was surprised, however, to find him in the kitchen using an electric griddle to make pancakes. Obviously vampires didn't suffer from hangovers. Turning slowly, she tried to make her way back up the steps but a slight creak alerted Harm to her whereabouts.

"Listen, we need to talk." Harm began, his words made her jump. He found himself smiling, did she really believe he didn't know she was up? He looked over his shoulder and found Mac on the third step contemplating her next move. "I know, no serious talk before coffee." He flipped a flapjack and then took a mug, pouring piping hot coffee from a French press. "I just pressed it." He handed her the mug and bit back a grin when her shoulders slumped, the decision to join him had been made, whether she liked it or not. Despite resenting Mac for who she looked like, Harm couldn't stay away, he realized that when his foggy mind began to clear up. She was his lifemate and their genetic makeup prevented the two from staying really angry with one another. It was a bit unfair but, Harm supposed, necessary to prevent vampires from turning rogue.

Neither mortals nor immortals were made to walk around the world alone. They both needed companionship whether some people chose to acknowledge it or not.

Dejectedly, Mac leaned her hip against one of the kitchen counters and watched as he plated two pancakes and then poured more batter onto the griddle. Neither of them spoke for a moment and Mac tried to think of ways to run out of the room before they headed for disaster. She wished that with age her fear of being rejected would lessen, but it was always prevalent and frightening to think that she could spend eternity alone. "I didn't mean the things I said last night." She was so lost in thought that she barely heard him. "I needed some time alone, but I didn't mean what I said. I need to . ."

"Harm." Mac interrupted, waving his explanation off. If she knew anything about him, Harm often unleashed his hidden feelings when he was upset, most people did. "You meant everything you said last night. . . I reminded you of her; I look like her and after everything that Seth told you it was pretty raw in your mind. . .I just can't do this anymore - the ups and downs. . .One moment you say you love me and the other . . .I just can't. . .I'm insecure enough as it is." She confessed and turned her head so that he wouldn't see the depths of her statement.

"You're right." He admitted and finally turned to look at her whilst their meal cooked. His eyes held a sadness that Mac had grown accustomed to whenever he spoke of Katherine. She wondered if that would ever go away. "I could have been more tactful."

"I guess I shouldn't have gone looking for you." But she was worried, afraid that he would do something stupid.

"I wasn't prepared to find out the truth." He folded his arms over his chest. Harm knew that Seth had been hiding something in regards to Katherine's death. It was always too convenient that there never was a full explanation, but he couldn't fathom that Seth had been covering for his daughter's indiscretions. While Seth hadn't directly sent someone to kill her, he made sure she was put to death by not warning them of the impending doom "All of this time I thought that she was hurting because she couldn't have kids. . .To think that she never wanted any but kept trying for me. . ." He sighed and turned away from Mac again, then plated the rest of their meal. "She killed children _for me_. . .Because _of me_." It scared him to know that a lifemate would go as far as breaking sacred rules in order to appease the other. Then again, he shouldn't have been surprised considering the monster that he became after Katherine's death.

Mac placed her mug on the kitchen table and then walked up behind Harm. "As morbid as it all was, she did it because she loved you. . . She wanted to give you something that she believed she took away." Gently, Mac placed a hand on his shoulder and slid it down to rub his back soothingly. As always, she felt the tension and the spark, the amazing connection that didn't seem to wane.

"She didn't take anything away from me. We were meant to be together and the fates just threw a wrench in my mortal life to make sure that I wound up with Katherine sooner than anticipated." He missed his son, Aiden, and chose to light a candle in his memory every time that his birthday came around. Harm hadn't noticed until the very moment that the ritual had stopped and been replaced with finding Harm senior. "I guess I'm still hanging on to lifelines."

Mac placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled back so that he would face her. "You're not the only one." She sighed and shook her head, disgusted with her earlier thoughts of running from him. "I keep wanting to run away from you. I keep thinking that I'm going to say or do something so bad that you'd regret turning me. . .What am I going to do? What would I become if I have to spend the rest of my life alone?"

"Mac. . .I can't promise you that something isn't going to happen. Forever is a very long time and a lot of things can and will go wrong." He didn't want to make a promise that he couldn't keep. As much as Harm wanted to stay with Mac forever, too many obstacles could easily derail their relationship. At the very least, he would try to forget Katherine and pledge himself to the very thing that mattered the most to him now. "As unromantic as it sounds, our genetic makeup is made to compliment eachother. . .There is no breaking it. . .It just doesn't work like that. We're meant to be together, Sarah."

His words soothed her aching heart and managed to quell some of her insecurities. But, when he reached out to touch her, the only thing that Mac could think of was his lips and how good they tasted. When he leaned down to kiss her, Mac pulled back slightly, alarmed at the whirlwind of sensations. She felt so out of control around him. "Tell me you aren't controlling me."

"Controlling?" He was affronted by the very thought that she didn't believe him. Hadn't they gone through this once before? "I can't believe that you _still_ think that."

While she didn't want to believe that he would do such a thing, Mac just didn't understand why it was so easy to just give in when she was madder than hell over his poor choice of words and his drinking the night prior. "I really don't want to believe that you are but. . .you know. . ." She didn't want to admit, out loud, that her feelings and emotions were on a rollercoaster ride around him. "I'm pissed off at you. _Very_ pissed off at you." She amended on a sigh. "And still, when you touch me. . ."

Her lack of formulating a complete thought was very amusing. Harm understood her worries, they were the same ones that he'd been concerned with when dealing with Katherine and her pull on him. "I'm not putting some spell on you, Mac. I'm not controlling you to feel something for me. . .Our connection kind of prevents us from really staying pissed off at eachother."

"What if you wanted some other woman? Would I still pine after you instead of wanting to skin you alive?"

Harm chuckled at her thought process. "See, there's where you misunderstand. .. I _can't_ want another woman, especially not after I turned you. . .We've tasted each other's blood. We're bound to eachother."

"I still don't understand how it all works, you know? I _need_ to understand it."

He didn't either. Truthfully, everything that he knew was just knowledge passed on to him, Harm never bothered to understand the science behind it. "Can't you just believe me? Believe that I'm not making you do anything that you don't want to do."

Mac stared up at him with her big, brown, curious eyes. With so many men that had hurt her, she had almost begun to fear the best and pray for the worst. It was easier to be in a relationship when you _expected_ to be let down, it wasn't so much of a shock when it actually happened. With Harm, though, it was so different. Apart from his pushing her away for several years, he'd done his best to make her understand this side of him. As mysterious as it all was, she _did_ want to be part of it, no matter where it led. "I'll try because I don't think you have it in you to hurt me."

"I'm going to make this up to you. . .all of it." Including all of the foolish things he'd done in the past in hopes of saving her from the monster that he was. "I love you, Mac." He dipped his head down again, hoping to capture her lips this time. Harm was pleased that she didn't pull away and smiled against her lips as he heard a soft moan before he pulled her more firmly against him.

Mac was lost almost instantly and managed to pull away as his hand had found its way under her shirt. "Oh no!" She scolded, slapping his hand away and lowering her shirt back down. "No. You can't just kiss me and make it all better. . .You hurt me, a lot. . .For a moment there I thought that we were through." She confessed, suddenly realizing how stupid that sounded.

"Not likely; it's not like we can stay away from eachother."

Mac was starting to notice and found that it amused more than annoyed her. "Yeah, well, I'm going to _try_ and stay upset with you for a while."

"How long of a while?" He wondered if a cold shower would be in order.

She hated how weak she'd become, especially since the turn, but the truth was, she could rarely stay angry with him for long. If it wasn't because her stomach was screaming in protest, Mac would have let him have his way with her. Besides, teasing him would have been one hell of a punishment. "Fifteen minutes or so? Breakfast smells nice and I'm starving."

Harm laughed out loud and took her back into his arms in a tight hug. "You are the only girl I've known that would rather eat that have some hot, sweaty sex."

Mac pulled away again and picked up her mug of coffee from the table. "Yeah, well, no nourishment, no strength for hot, sweaty sex." She settled into a chair and motioned for her food. "You better eat up, flyboy; you'll need your strength after I get done with you." She said cheekily and glanced at him over the brim of the mug.

A knock on the door prevented Harm from answering. Curiously, he glanced out the window and found Gabriel standing on the other side, a concerned look on his face. "What the hell is he doing up so early?" Few of the other vampires, if any, rose before the late afternoon. They were not accustomed to keeping mortal hours and preferred not to mingle with sunlight nor the need to ingest more blood. He opened the door and stepped aside for the older immortal to enter. "What is it?"

"It's Ridley. Beck and Octavian have both confirmed that he is in Southampton, guarded with heavy security and at least two upper level members of The Order." Gabriel said and while the boy's confirmed whereabouts was good news, there was something more troubling. "They've captured Iian."

"_What?_" Harm was floored by the news. While finding Ridley was top priority, knowing that one of their own had been captured tended to change the parameters a bit. Normally, they would study mortals for days, weeks even, in order to get a feel for the person and their habits. It allowed the Enforcers to strike with precision, at the best possible time. Rogues were a bit different and Harm had become the 'go-to' guy when it came to unorthodox methods of capturing wrong doers. "How the hell did that happen?"

Gabriel hadn't been sure, neither had Beck or Octavian. "Octavian received word from Iian that he and Beck had located Ridley . . . According to Beck, Iian just walked into a trap and willingly did anything that The Order asked. Seems like you were dead on about his power of mind control."

"I should have just killed Ridley." Honor bound as he was, Harm couldn't go against Seth's wishes and part of him couldn't assassinate a kid. "Do we have a plan?"

"Father wants you to go alone and for the rest of us to stay in the outskirts, away from detection, in case you get into trouble." While Gabriel didn't like the idea, he knew that Harm would be the best hunter for the job. "You've had contact with Ridley. . .You were the only one that could bring him in and you're the one that _we_ trust enough."

Mac watched the interaction between both men with great curiosity. While she had learned quite a lot about vampire life from both Harm and Seth, the conversation between Harm and Gabriel was starting to make her nervous. "Who's Ridley?"

"Ridley Matthews is a seventeen year old kid with special abilities. He's also a vampire hunter." Harm told her and was glad that she didn't ask for more of an explanation. The worry in his voice seemed enough to convince her that a kid could be that lethal. "I captured him last year and rather than terminate him, like we usually, Seth wanted him kept alive."

"He escaped from his prison and has managed to obtain information on The Collective, including our homes, possessions and even this very Chateau." Gabriel finished for him. "We need to get going soon and hopefully neutralize this threat _tonight_."

"Forget I asked." She said waving off any further explanation. "So, what's the plan?" Mac asked and glanced at Harm with an expectant look on her face.

Harm knew that look; she didn't really expect to go did she? "You can stay here with Seth. There are these secret underground tunnels, it's safer here."

Amused, Mac stood up and walked the few feet separating her and Harm. "Actually, I'd like to go with you boys." She wasn't too surprised to see Gabriel's eyes go as wide as saucers and turn to Harm in shock. "What? There aren't any female enforcers?"

Gabriel cleared his throat and shook his head, "Not many and certainly not a newly turned immortal _with a lifemate_."

"So you're saying that a female vampire can't go hunting if she's got a boyfriend?" Her amusement was certainly notching up a few levels. Immortals weren't as sexist as mortals were they? It was bad enough that she had to deal with double standards in the mortal world. "I'm a Marine, Gabriel."

"Mac, it's dangerous." Harm needlessly pointed out. While they had been in some dire situations, Ridley posed a threat that had no equal.

She was certain of the danger, but being in the military, Mac was taught to prepare for the worst. "And we've been in plenty of dangerous situations, Harm. The mountains, the desert, hell, even at the embassy when Webb's little scheme backfired." She pointed out. "I've seen death, I've been in a war zone . . . And I saved your six when you were freezing to death in the Atlantic, not to mention in Panama when that drug dealer took a shot at you."

Gabriel watched the interaction between the two with great interest. The first time he'd seen Mac in the halls of The Château had been almost too much to bear. While he'd been able to get over the death of his sister, seeing someone with her face was strange. Now, watching the tête-à-tête, he was beginning to really see that Mac was, indeed, someone else, someone that he could definitely get along with. "You aren't trained to fight with our weapons."

Mac chuckled; clearly these vampire men had no clue what a pissed off, female Marine could do. "Let's see - you use a gun and a sword. . .I shoot expert in both pistols and rifles. I've never had to use a sword but I'm pretty good at knife and hatchet throwing." All of them skills that she picked up while spending time in the desert with her uncle Matt.

"You could die." Gabriel kept on, now trying to help Harm as all of his suggestions were shot down almost methodically.

Less than impressed, Mac raised a brow in annoyance. "I could have died before as well, at least this time I have more of a chance to survive."

Harm was starting to run out of arguments. "This isn't like the Marines, Mac. . . These people are very dangerous."

"Oh, for God's sake, Harm! Stop arguing with me! You_ know_ that we make a good team."

She was right and though he would have happily taken her along in any other instance, Ridley and The Order was a combination whose joint efforts could mean disaster. "Mac, this isn't a routine kind of thing."

"Nothing here is routine. . . I can't just stay behind and worry, because that's all I'll be doing." And possibly drive every one else nuts in the process. Somehow, in the five years that they'd known each other, she and Harm had made an unwritten pact to look after one another. She wasn't going to let his stubbornness stop her from protecting him. "We're partners, a team. You've gotta admit that we've done a good job of taking care of one another. . .Besides, if you go without me, you know I'll just wind up following anyway."

"Mac, stop being so stubborn."

"Me? Stubborn? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

"You're not going to back down, are you?"

"No. Neither would you." They stood just inches away from one another both with a determined look on their faces. It was Harm that finally gave up with a heavy sigh.

For all of Harm's bickering, Gabriel really couldn't find any more flaws in Mac's argument. So he took her side, "I like her. God knows you need someone to boss you around from time to time. Anyway, suit up and we'll meet at the mouth of the tunnels in an hour. We have a chopper standing by at a private airfield about a forty-five minute drive away from here." He made it to the door and then turned back to face Mac, "Welcome aboard."

Several hours later, Gabriel, Mac and Harm were comfortably seated inside a substantially sized private jet. There were several high back, leather chairs in the front and the rear of the plane. The middle had matching sofas affixed to the wall of the plane which Harm said could be unfolded and turned into beds. There was a galley somewhere up front and normally, a crew of four to care to any of their needs. For this mission only the pilot and co-pilot were needed. "We normally have another, less fancier jet for missions." He explained to her as he placed three bags of blood in her hands. "Drink them all, it might be a good idea to gorge ourselves, just in case." He looked her up and down and then immediately turned away as he was caught eyeing her in an outfit that was entirely too tight and perfectly accentuated all of the finer points of her body.

Mac had been embarrassed putting on the black body suit which belonged to Gabriel's wife, a woman who was a bit less curvy than herself. Thankfully, she was also able to borrow a long trench coat which would cover her more modestly. She would have much preferred the comfort of BDUs, as unflattering as they were. As with the boys, Mac had a webbed belt around her waist to which a leg holster was attached. ChemTek pistols would be useless for Ridley so normal 45s were required.

Just in case, she, Gabriel and Harm carried a ChemTek pistol at a holster in the smalls of their backs. Wrapped around Mac's ankle was yet another holster which held a knife. Reluctantly, as she wasn't hungry, Mac drank down all three bags and then reviewed the notes that Gabriel had given her and Harm.

The whole plan was very straight forward. She, Gabriel and the other Enforcers were to lay low half a mile around the perimeter of the abandoned home which Ridley and The Order were using. Harm would go in alone and hopefully not be detected as he rescued Iian and killed the hunters. Mac had a funny feeling that it would not be so easy. She could sense Harm's fear and wondered just how difficult it had been to capture Ridley in the first place. Surely capturing a teenager couldn't be _that_ difficult? "Harm? Why is this so difficult? Why can't we all go in, guns-a-blazin' and just get it over with?"

Harm finished off a bag of blood and tossed the empty one in a bin by the sofas. He took a seat next to Mac and breathed out deeply. "Ridley is a sensitive. He's more than proficient at telekinesis, telepathy and probably a hundred different mind control techniques. . .He's a genius and went to college when he was just a kid where one of his professors basically brainwashed him and turned him onto The Order. He has the ability to control vampires and resist our mind controls."

"But you captured him once?"

In the end he had but there was a moment there where Harm thought he was a goner. "He captured me first and as he was forcing me to walk into a massive pyre that he'd built on a skiff, Ridley was bitten by a water moccasin." He couldn't believe his luck when the boy fell to his knees screaming in agony as the snake's toxin raced through his veins. "I guess he's severely allergic to the venom and it was all I needed to inject him with a tranquilizer and get us the hell out of there." He'd then stopped at a hospital to get the boy some anti venom before making the trek to the prisons.

Mac didn't like the idea of Harm being controlled by someone hell bent on killing him. Human nature assured her that Ridley certainly held a grudge and would likely do anything and everything possible to make sure Harm was terminated. She was quickly seeing that having the other Enforcers remain out of sight could turn into a sticky situation. "Gabriel told me that Seth wasn't pleased with me going."

"Oh yeah, he gave me an earful before we left." Harm was still amused by the conversation with their leader and how over protective he was of Mac.

"_Why isn't she staying here?" _He'd asked, upset that Harm could let such a thing happen. _"She shouldn't be going._"

"_You try stopping her. Mac's as stubborn as a brick wall. But she's a Marine and has been in a warzone countless times. She knows how to fight and how to take care of herself." _

Seth gave him a pointed glare, _"Are you afraid of her?"_

"_Yes I am."_ Harm confessed with a sheepish grin. _"Just as afraid as you were of Kiya and her ire."_ That was something that Seth could not argue against. Kiya was a force to be reckoned with. _"If something happens to me, I want you to take her in and make sure she doesn't turn into what I was."_

"_I promise."_ There were no arguments but Harm knew enough about Seth and was pretty sure he'd given instructions to Gabriel in regards of Mac's safety.

1820 Local  
Hampshire, England

Before they knew it the plane made its landing at Southampton Airport and taxied to a large hanger in the rear where private planes were stored. Gabriel instructed the crew to refuel and maintain the plane at the ready. He, Mac and Harm met up Octavian and Beck on a side road near the town of Beaulieu.

Neither Beck nor Octavian approved of Mac joining the hunt but, out of respect for Harm, opted not to say a thing. "We have some of our men already surrounding the property; it's a one story manor house about five miles away from here." Beck pointed to an area blanketed by the trees over head. Only a small piece of the home could be seen along with a curving river that disappeared through the foliage. "The river is our best bet to get in and out without detection."

"Do we have a boat?"

"Yes, we'll have to row but it's much quieter than using something with an engine." Octavian said and pointed at the map. "Each of us can hop out at different areas and spread out. The rest of our boys will be here and here, just in case."

Harm scrutinized the aerial map frowning at the farmlands around the area that offered little areas for them to hide. He saw the road that led to the house which was laid in such a way that it created a virtual gauntlet. With trees to either side, it would be impossible to run a vehicle through in hopes of escape. "I think the best bet is for me to drive the car right on up."

While Octavian and Beck glared at him as if he'd lost his mind, Gabriel understood the reasoning. "You're figuring that if you walk straight into the lion's den, they won't see us coming?"

"Yeah. If anyone would go after Ridley, they know it would be me." Harm took a breath and held it. He wasn't ready for Ridley's mind tricks and certainly wasn't ready for Mac to join him in something like this. The last thing he wanted was for something terrible to happen and wind up leaving her in the same predicament that he was in during Katherine's death. "Let's get going." He pulled Mac to him and waited until Octavian and Beck were headed away from them before pulling her flush against him and kissing her as if his life depended on it. "Be careful."

"You too." Mac pressed her hand to his face and gave him a quick kiss before running after Octavian and Beck.

He watched her leave and then turned away, unsure of his fate. While he wasn't afraid of dying, Harm was afraid of what his death would do to others, especially Mac. Sighing, he climbed into the car and headed towards the home.

Just as he'd noted on the map, the drive to the house was through a gauntlet of thick trees without a route for escape. The road was made out of a rare dark stone which made driving over it rather tricky. The car was swerving violently, forcing Harm to reduce the speed as the road began to wind down. He finally came to a stop at an iron fence with no gate but an opening where a car could go through. "Ooookay. I don't like the look of this." He said out loud and proceeded forward anyway.

The drive to the house itself was similar to the road outside, with trees on either side, canvassing almost all of the land. The house was not as large as most of the estates in the area, but a modest looking place with a two car garage and a few smaller shacks adjacent. There were no vehicles on the outside and, as Harm came to a stop, heard no commotion from within. Not that he expected to, but his preternatural hearing had a habit of picking up things that others didn't want you to hear.

He stepped out of the vehicle, which he'd left in the middle of the driveway, blocking any other vehicle from entering, and then took a few steps away from the car. He glared at the house, honing his hearing in order to pick up even the slightest of sounds. From within, he could pick up on shuffling feet on bare, wooden floors and the distinct sound of someone cocking a firearm. "I know you're in there, I can hear you moving around." He yelled and didn't have to wait too long before he was greeted by a man which The Order called 'Maestro.' The man was a former CIA agent, trained at interrogation techniques and torture. He was a variable master at causing pain and did so at will. Truthfully, Maestro liked the pain and the suffering, it was the reason why he'd been let go and jailed at a maximum security facility for over fifteen years.

The Order had scooped him up much the same way that they had scooped up other members, through brainwashing and promises of money. For Maestro, what they promised him was the one thing that he craved, inflicting pain. Just the fact that vampires could take so much trauma before dying was a total thrill for him. He loved turning strong creatures into nothing but Jello. "Ridley said you would come, but I didn't believe the little shit." Clearly he didn't think much of their puny 'leader.'

"I don't want trouble, I just came to get my man back." Harm said, knowing that it wouldn't be that easy. Why would The Order let him go now that he practically served himself to them on a plate.

Maestro seemed less than impressed. "That's nice." He said sarcastically and snapped his fingers, bringing forth two burly men. "He's the one the kid said was coming."

Harm didn't like the fact that they seemed to be waiting for him. He watched the men's interaction, or lack there of until a certain feeling came over him. His body became lethargic, heavy and wouldn't cooperate when he tried to move forward. Instead, he found himself coming to his knees and placing his hands behind his head execution style.

Now that seemed to be something that Maestro approved of. "Kid, you do have a way with them." He walked up to Harm and squatted next to him. "You should have seen your buddy who peed his pants when we started to dissect him."

"_No!"_ Harm tried to scream but the thrall in which Ridley had him in kept his face passive and his body compliant to someone else's wishes. He could feel a tear sliding out from the corner of his eye, the only show of emotion in this restrictive storm.

"See, you aren't better than me!" Ridley yelled with the kind of defiance only a teenager would muster. He stepped out of the shadows and moved away from the home, glancing at Harm with a look of victory. "The only reason he caught me in the first place was because of that stupid snake."

Harm was surprised when Ridley suddenly let him go and couldn't help but laugh at the teenager's petulant behavior. _This_ was the person whom The Order was trusting with their affairs? "Tell me something, how exactly did you escape?" He was trying to buy some time and hope that keeping Ridley engaged on him would prevent the team from picking up on the others nearby. He hoped that Iian wasn't dead but the likelihood was that Maestro was telling the truth. The Order just didn't let vampires live - ever. "There were strict orders to keep you under special isolation where you couldn't use your _gifts_."

Ridley chuckled and pushed at his glasses which slid down to the tip of his nose. "One of your guards, if you could call them that, didn't like that you brought a kid into that stupid prison."

"So, he let you out and you killed him?"

"No." Ridley shook his head vigorously and his glasses slid down again. "I didn't kill him, he killed himself." From what Harm knew, all of the vampires that had died because of Ridley had done so because the boy had set up a method for them to kill themselves.

"Right, just like I wanted to kill myself when you walked me to the pyre?"

Ridley grinned almost evilly, "It was you walking, not me. Maybe you vampire creeps are just suicidal, ever think about that?" He merely glanced at Harm and it was enough to have him doubling over in pain, something that Ridley found terribly humorous. "Hurts, don't it?" He motioned for Maestro to search Harm while keeping him in the thrall. "Make sure he's not carrying anything funny."

Maestro rolled his eyes as he approached Harm and searched him quickly, removing the knife, ChemTek pistol and the 45. "Came prepared, did ya? Maybe not enough." He kicked Harm's ribs, finding pleasure in the flash of pain which glazed over his eyes. "You're nothing but an animal that needs to be put down."

Harm was barely able to look up at the man. Hatred raced through his veins both for Iian's death and for the ignorance which The Order operated. It was true, vampires were part animals of prey, but not all in the immortal society were killers. Each time that Harm tried to move, the pain only manifested itself, making it feel as if his bones were about to snap in two. His body shivered from the strain of fighting Ridley and soon blood was dripping from his nose. He started to feel a severe pressure building in his head, choking his brain to the point that he lost consciousness.

When Harm came to, he found himself beneath some stone bridge where only a bit of water trickled by. He was slumped up against the wall, hands tied behind his back. His body ached and the distinct smell of blood made him aware of several cuts all over his torso that was turning the water beneath him crimson. Shaking his head, Harm tried to get his bearings back and orientate himself as to his current location.

In the distance, he could hear gunshots and men screaming, obviously the Enforcers had managed to infiltrate the small compound. He wanted to alert them as to his location but soon found a gun shoved roughly against his temple. "One word, one thought and I shoot." He heard Maestro say and then found his body moving out of its own accord.

He tried to pick up on Ridley but found, to his surprise, that the boy was not with them. "Do you think that little shit was the only one with _gifts_?" He said with a chuckle and shoved his pistol into Harm's back as he urged him to move forward. "He was relatively weak when I first got a hold of him. I knew he wasn't ready for any of this but it was so amusing to see him handle you like he did that I just had to let him _think_ he was leading the charge." Maestro led him down the path of the creek, using the old philosophy that vampires were powerless near water. Harm wouldn't be surprised to find silver bullets in the pistol or garlic. The Order's willingness to hold onto old clichés was terribly pathetic. "I didn't realize that you lot let women do a man's job."

Maestro spotted the recognition in Harm's eyes which allowed him to deduce that he and the female vampire were lovers. "Ah, she's yours? Well, I bet you that bitch will squeal when my boys have their way with her."

His words angered Harm even more and a sudden rush of adrenaline had him fighting the thrall again, this time a bit more successfully as he managed to hit the man with a back kick. "If you touch her. . ."

"What? You'll kill me? You were gonna do that anyway. I'd like to see you try." He glared at Harm and was back in control again, forcing him to walk farther away from the home. "_You_ are the ones who are going to die tonight. . .Did you really think we didn't know you were coming?"

Harm didn't know what to believe anymore, only that serious studies would have to be conducted in order to protect him and the others from the threats of mortals with greater powers. He needed to break out of Maestro's commands and try to incapacitate the man long enough to kill him. The body he would take to Peri in hopes of finding some sort of agent that would aid them in battling against The Order.

A strange sensation hit him like a car slamming into a wall of bricks. He hadn't felt such a thing in centuries and realized, to his dismay, that Mac was hurt. His connection was enough to tell him that her injury, while not extensive, was very painful and located around her right side. He tried to communicate with her through their special connection but his attempts failed greatly. "Don't bother; you'll be dead in a few minutes anyway. I would love for you to watch while I finish her off but that's something I can't afford. You're too dangerous."

Maestro finally made Harm stop where the creek snaked into a river. A loud bang of a firearm exploded across the area and Harm soon realized that he'd been shot through the back. The pain was agonizing and forced him down to his knees. He could feel the blood against his shirt and dripping down his spine. The smell was intoxicating. "I know you can heal quickly but I also know you won't come back if I lob off your head." At that, he felt Maestro's knife pressed against his throat, hard enough to cut a small patch right over his Adam's apple.

Harm felt the knife dig in deeper as he tried to fight the mind control. He felt his arm twitch, a movement that generated a bigger wave but it wasn't enough to break the spell. _"Mac, if you can hear me. . .I'm sorry to put you through this." _He tried to send his message with the wind, hoping it would carry through to her, wherever she was. He only prayed that Maestro's promise in her regard was an empty one.

His answer came back seconds later when he heard her voice clearly from behind. "Did you honestly think I was gonna let you die, flyboy?"

Maestro snapped up and turned around, leveling his gaze on the woman standing a mere ten feet away pointing a gun at him. "What? How?"

"Men often underestimate women." She didn't wait for more questions and squeezed the trigger twice in a quick succession. Mac smiled with satisfaction when Maestro hit the floor, clutching his chest where the two bullets had entered. She made sure that he was dead before tending to Harm who was holding onto a tree in order to remain upright.

"How the hell did you find me?" He asked, wincing as his body rejected the bullet in his back, popping it out of his skin.

Mac shrugged. "Dunno, really. . .I just had this gut feeling so I followed it. Guess the connection thing really does work."

"You're hurt." He motioned at the gash on her right side that appeared to have healed.

"I'm fine. . .One of them son of a bitches had a cane, the ones with a sword hidden inside. I figured, since he was an older man, he wouldn't put up much of a fight. That's the last time I let my guard down." Mac wrapped her arms around him and slid a hand under his shirt to find his wound closing. The bullet fell out of his shirt and hit the ground. "We found Iian, he's a mess, but according to Gabriel, he'll live."

Harm was happy to hear that his comrade was not as far gone as Maestro had believed. They really were resilient creatures. "What about the rest of them? Ridley?"

"Dead. I made sure of that myself." She didn't like the idea of having shot a child, but had noticed a hesitation with the men. None of them were willing to be the one to do the deed. So, she'd taken it upon herself and squeezed off two rounds, each to his head. It was methodical and when she sensed that there was no more breath left in him, Mac turned away. She hated killing, even if it was a necessity.

A noise from behind had both of them whirling around, Mac's pistol at the ready. A lone figure came out of the shadows and Mac lowered her weapon when she saw that it was Gabriel. "Octavian! Beck! I found them. Bring another body bag!" He yelled into a radio attached inside of his trench coat. "You, my dear, are going to give this poor man a heart attack. Has she always been so willful?" He asked Harm.

"Willful? You mean pigheaded don't you?" He winked at Mac and then motioned down at Maestro. "He was Ridley's trainer. Also had the gift so we need to get him and Ridley to Peri and see if he can find some sort of link."

Gabriel agreed. "Already have Ridley in a body bag. So, Mac, you sure you don't want to be an Enforcer?"

Mac grinned, their approval weighed heavily on her as the men did everything possible to force her out of the way. In the end, her gallant method of attacking Ridley had won their trust. "I already have a day job but if you boys ever need help, give me a call."

She was going to be a handful, alright, but Harm couldn't imagine a world without her.

(AN: Okay, I know, it was resolved a little too easily considering the spat that our DD had at the end of last chapter. However, it's part of what they have and part of what keeps Vampire lifemates together, forever. You litteraly do not have eyes for anyone else and staying angry with your lifemate is almost impossible. Kinda keeps the divorce rates in the vampire world at bay, don't it? ;))


	23. Kiss Of Dawn

**Chapter 23 – Kiss Of Dawn**

**Two Weeks Later.  
0730 Local  
****JAG Headquarters  
****Falls Church, Virginia**

Mac pushed through the double glass doors and walked into the bullpen. As expected the floor was dark and empty, just the way she'd usually found it. She looked left and right trying to get a feel for the place that was like a second home to her. It felt strange to be back after so long, but she needed to get back into the game; she had a rapist to prosecute.

Stepping into her office, Mac placed her cover, briefcase and purse on top of her desk, then retreated to the kitchen. Coffee was the most important part of her mornings. After having a cup at home, a second at work would follow. It was somewhat of a ritual that she rarely missed. Passing through the bullpen, she cast a glance at Harm's office. The man had a penchant for being late while she was always early. It seemed like Harm was right when he explained that they would cover each other's short comings.

Spending time in France made her see a totally different side of him. The sadness and the pain seemed to have left and the ghost of what was could no longer haunt him. She always knew that a piece of his heart belonged to someone else but she was fine with that. Harm loved her and Mac was starting to learn that it was enough.

The past two weeks had seemed so long ago, but in reality, they'd only returned to Washington just two short days earlier. They had remained at the Château, with a new found affection for Seth and his family now that they understood the reality of Katherine's death. Peri still hadn't fully warmed up to Harm and it was doubted that the man ever would. There was too much animosity that began the instant the two met centuries earlier. For Seth's sake, the two agreed to be cordial and no more than five minutes later were already arguing.

Seth had taken Mac under his wing and vowed to teach her the finer points of vampire life. He'd helped her control the hunger and hone the new gifts that she'd been given. While Harm had been a good teacher, she found that he was often soft with her whereas Seth was more aggressive. All of the men, including Peri, had gone with her during evening hunts where she was to drink from mortal patrons in Paris. They helped refine her ability to read mortals and access if they had any substances or diseases in their blood.

Mac was going to miss the family and hoped that the next time they visited Seth was able to secure his lifemate – again.. She sat down and took a breath before picking up the files that Sturgis had left on her desk. Her hand brushed over the JAG emblem and then opened the file to familiarize herself with the new information that the defense had provided. She was surprised that the man had done so much damage and that no one had come forth. Such were most rape cases. No one wanted to be labeled a victim.

She pulled a legal pad out of her desk drawer, took a pen and scribbled down a few notes that were pertinent. The information presented from the defense, while not absolutely damaging, provided somewhat of an alibi for the defendant. What she needed most was a witness or another victim but no one wanted to speak up.

"Good morning, Colonel." She looked up to find Harm standing at the doorway, coffee cup in one hand and a bag from Einstein Brothers in the other. Mac was surprised to find that she was no longer alone in the office. In fact, the bullpen was bouncing with life. Had she really been looking over her files with such concentration? "Earth to Mac?" Harm stepped up to her desk and placed the bag next to the computer monitor. "You okay?"

Mac sighed and shook her head. This case had been bothering her for so long now that it was making her weary. "Not really. I think we should have taken a few more days before coming back. It may have given me some time to go over the new evidence." She tapped her pen against the files, her irritation growing by the minute. There was a very simple solution, something that would damn the defense and give her client the win that they need. It would be so easy to force Kudrow to spill his guts but it broke both her moral and ethical codes. It was almost like walking a tightrope. "How do you do it?"

"Do what exactly?" He slid into one of her guest chairs, figuring, by the look in her eyes, that this was one of those occasions that required his full and undivided attention.

"I've tried so hard not to even think about this." She tapped her pen against the files more frantically now. The answers were there, waiting to be discovered, and it really wouldn't be cheating if it meant getting a sleaze ball off of the streets. "How do you stop yourself from using mind control to sway a case? We've had some _really_ guilty people and you had to know that they deserved to spend their lives either rotting in Leavenworth or in a cheap pine box. How do you let the law have a fair shot knowing they were guilty?"

If she'd had asked him several years earlier, Harm wouldn't have had an answer. In his first years as a lawyer and even during mock trials at law school, he had fought with the want to change the outcome of a case. He had faltered twice, the second time going as far as ending the life of a murderer with desires to kill again. He had done his job well and the man was acquitted, only Harm knew the truth and couldn't let justice have its fair turn. So, he'd killed the man and made it look like a suicide. It was the last time that he bothered to read his clients, finding that it was better to leave the truth a mystery.

"At first it was hard. Regardless that our rules supercede theirs, you can't be an officer of the court and just _pretend_ to believe in the law. The system works and if there are mortal attorneys that can do this job successfully _without_ mental powers, then so can we." It helps that the mortal world wasn't the one he enforced. He was merely playing along.

"I understand that but how do you prevent the temptation? I know this guy is slime but all attempts to find a witness that could corroborate the victim's story lead to dead ends. . . His girlfriend _knows_ something but she's too afraid to speak." That would be her ticket right there, the missing link which would secure her a victory. "It would be easier to _make_ him confess."

Harm agreed but the ball was in Mac's court. "It's your choice, Mac. I can't tell you what to do. When I first started out at law, I made the mistake of reading my clients and found that it affected my performance. One time I even went after someone." He didn't elaborate more on the man he'd killed but was sure that Mac understood that it didn't end well. He was happy that she didn't ask for an explanation. "Using our powers is almost like a drug. We can become dependant to it and once you get used to reading everybody you will find yourself hating the mortals It's why so many of us stay away." He stood up and headed out of the office, letting her ponder the bits of knowledge he'd passed along.

Mac knew what she was up against and wondered if, this time, it would be in line with her moral and ethical standards if she went after Kudrow. The ball was certainly in her court.

**1845 Local  
****Mac's Apartment  
****Georgetown.**

Harm's caseload seemed to shrink rapidly throughout the day. He'd surmounted the massive pile of paperwork before noon and two of his cases were issued a continuance because the prosecution had requested it. All in all, his load had lightened so much that he was able to escape from the office a good three hours before quitting time. Past their brief discussion in Mac's office, Harm hadn't seen nor hide nor hair of her. He'd tried to get information on her case but details were constantly changing. In the end, he figured that what she needed was to step into a clean apartment and enjoy the hot meal which was waiting for her.

Since their arrival, Mac had stayed over at his place and left early that morning in order to pick up a uniform and head to work. He'd missed her from the very moment she left his bed and getting an extra hour or two of sleep had become impossible until he snuggled up with her pillow and the glorious scent that was on it. Harm wasn't sure what their living arrangements would be now that they were home, but he was reluctant to spend his nights alone. Though they didn't have any serious discussions about their current situation, decisions needed to be made.

Opting for comfort foods, Harm had made a rich and creamy mac and cheese along with oven roasted chicken breasts. He was pretty sure that she hadn't eaten although she'd been advised; on numerous occasions eating normal food could help her require less blood during the day. Mac had become a two bag per day type of vampire, requiring only another bag if spending time out with full sun. Seth had said that it was her disposition along with good genes that kept her from being too allergic to the UV rays.

Nevertheless, she needed to take care of herself or risk the ravenous hunger that could turn you into a full predator without being able to stop. He'd experienced that too many times in his life to subject her to such a thing.

The sound of the front door alerted him that Mac was home. Smiling, he headed to the living room to find her stepping out of her heels. He wasn't quite sure why, but seeing her walk around barefoot was a bit of a turn on. "You didn't have lunch, did you?" The weariness on her face and her pallor were a dead giveaway. This morning she'd looked good, healthy, it was always amazing how quickly that could turn without feeding properly.

Mac looked up at him and shrugged. "I didn't do it on purpose, the day just got away from me."

Though he wanted to reprimand her for not eating, Harm didn't want to sound like a broken record. Instead, he walked over and gave her a soft kiss. "How did everything go?"

That question made her light up and he found that smile, confident and so attractive. Mac had such gorgeous, kissable lips. "His girlfriend contacted me before we headed in and after a quick pow-wow with the defense, she testified. . . Apparently Lieutenant Kudrow _had_ raped Petty Officer Herrlin, forced his girlfriend to watch and then threatened her so she wouldn't say anything." He had almost held up his side of the bargain. The moment in which the woman finished testifying, Kudrow jumped over the defense table and if it wasn't for Mac's sharper reflexes and superior strength he would have attacked the woman. "The final ruling is tomorrow and I am more than confident that he will be severely punished at sentencing. . .And no, I didn't put the whammy on any of them."

Harm's eyebrows rose towards his hairline. "The whammy?" He laughed at her choice of words and her coy look.

"Well, what would you call it?" She said with a shrug.

"The whammy?" What was he going to do with her? Harm turned her away from the kitchen and motioned towards her bedroom."Go take a shower, dinner is almost ready."

The mention of food always seemed to perk her up, even when having a rough day. "It smells incredible."

So did she, he noted, still able to pick up the scent of her perfume and the way it mixed with her skin. Sarah MacKenzie was truly making him insatiable. Harm watched her walk into her bedroom and resisted the urge to follow. She needed food and he wasn't about to deprive her of it.

Ten minutes later Mac was sitting at the dinner table, wrapped up in a silk kimono, her hair slicked back. "We still need to talk about living arrangements." Harm said, plating a healthy portion of macaroni on her plate. He eyed her reaction and noticed that she didn't seem worried. No, she was most certainly relieved. "I don't know about you but the second you left my bed this morning, I was missing you."

Mac smiled at his admission, happy to note that he was verbalizing thoughts and feelings that he once hid away. "To be honest, I was too preoccupied with the case to miss you." She said, grinning mischievously when he snapped his head up to look at her. She laughed at the concern on his face and then shook her head. "I missed you even when we were sitting together on the plane ride over. . .You looked so cute, I wanted to jump you." She confessed, still coming to grips with the overwhelming desire that she felt for him.

"I wanted to jump you this morning, when you were taking a shower, and at work. _Especially _at work. You do this cute little pout when you're concentrating. It makes me want to kiss you." He said and restrained himself before things got away from them and dinner got cold. "Anyway, we do need to figure out living arrangements."

Mac took a bite of macaroni, closing her eyes to savor the burst of flavor. She opened her eyes to find him staring expectantly. "I don't mind moving into your place. You do have the nicer kitchen." She really didn't care if they lived out of a cardboard box in some alley, as long as he was with her.

"Yeah, but this place has triple the closet space and that huge bedroom." He pointed out, pouring water into their glasses as Mac placed a piece of chicken on each of their plates. "And it's in a better neighborhood."

"But, you spent all of that time and money fixing it up." She didn't want him to leave the apartment that he had spent so much on. It was a gorgeous place, big, open and with plenty of space. She could do without the louvered windows in the bedroom, that was a bit freaky. And storage was somewhat lax. "I just don't want to be selfish and force you to move in here." She'd gone down that road with Mic once already and it hadn't exactly ended up well. He resented her for forcing him to move in. Mac realized that the man probably never felt at home.

"My neighbor is moving out." Harm said suddenly. "Again." His downstairs neighbors had all posed problems. The first one turned out to be some radical psycho. The second and third were college students who constantly threw parties. And the last one, though the least problematic, had an ex husband who liked to show up and argue - loudly. The current absence of a neighbor had gotten him thinking of certain possibilities. "If you're willing to use up a little elbow grease, I have a few ideas."

After dinner they sat together on Mac's sofa outlining a rough sketch that Harm had come up with. "My apartment we can leave as is and just use my bedroom as an office."

She looked at the scribbles and raised a brow in question. The man was definitely lousy at drawings. "What's this circular blob?"

Indignantly, he poked at the blob and then ran his finger down. "Circular steps leading downstairs. We can add a large master bedroom and master bath. A guestroom, just in case." He pointed at a rectangle towards the end. "Storage back here and that area there can be opened up and adjoined to make a garage."

He'd given it a lot of thought; she'd noticed and found it sweet that he was even considering such a large undertaking. "We could stay here during the construction." Mac offered but noted a look of hesitation in his eyes. "What is it?"

There was one thing that he hadn't considered, an important aspect of his life that lived on change. "There's one major problem – Seth gave me the okay to stick around for a couple of years. After that, I'll have to leave Washington, for a _while_." It was common practice for a vampire to move every 10-15 years in order to prevent discovery. Someone would notice his lack of aging.

"How long is a _while_?"

Harm sighed deeply. He didn't want to leave, not yet, not when he'd bumped into the first life he actually enjoyed. "Fifty plus years or so. . .I'm not saying it will happen over night but, we might be fixing my place up for nothing."

"Not for nothing." Mac said with a smile then stood and sat on his lap. Her arms encircled his neck as his wrapped around her waist. "Most of us have homes all over the globe, right?"

"Yes." He nodded; some immortals had over half a dozen homes. Harm was never quite that eccentric. Besides the cottage in Ireland and the apartment in Washington, there really weren't other houses.

"Then your apartment will just be an extra one." She reasoned, happy to see a sparkle in his eyes at her suggestion. Mac didn't care where they lived but wasn't quite ready to leave Washington yet, either. "Whatever time we have left here we'll make the best of."

"You're sure?"

The concern in his eyes was so heartwarming. "Harm, my father was a Marine. . .I'm used to going from base to base. . .Hell, this is the first time I've actually stayed put for longer than a year or two." She knew that her words weren't getting through. Harm, like herself, needed reassurance. "I'm not going to resent your choice to turn me just because we have to leave Washington."

Maybe not the place itself but it was the people he was concerned with. After a time, they wouldn't be able to contact Bud, Harriet, Tiner or the Admiral ever again. They were godparents to little AJ and it was expected that they would be there for him. At some point that couldn't continue to happen. "You'd be leaving the people too, Mac. . .We can stay in touch for a while, but after a few years. . .Little AJ. . .Harriet, Bud."

Mac understood and it wasn't something that she wanted to think of until it happened. "I won't lie; it _will_ hurt to leave our friends behind. This is the _first_ time in my life that I have friends I can really rely on. But this," She pointed between the two of them and smiled. "it's bigger than us. To live this life we have to make sacrifices and it's not supposed to be easy."

Something about her words reminded him of a past long left behind and a conversation he had with a certain individual. "Was Seth giving you his pep talk?"

"It put things in perspective. .It also made me realize how much you love me."

She leaned in and kissed him slowly. When they broke apart, Harm was grinning. Every time she kissed him his heart threatened to jump out of his chest. It was as exhilarating as jumping out of an airplane. "You know, technically, we're married." As random as it sounded, there was a purpose to his comments.

"Technically?" Mac raised her hand up and wiggled her ring finger. "Hmm, no ring there."

"Oh, c'mon Mac, you don't need the little piece of paper and a ring, do you?" He always thought that they were bigger than those mortal, trivial things. Besides, many mortals had the paper and the ring which got them nowhere.

"The piece of paper no, the ring, hell yes." She got up from his lap suddenly and then took their empty plates to the kitchen.

Harm took the mugs from the coffee table and headed after Mac. "I'm not going to love you any less if you don't have my ring, you know? I'm not _that_ guy." He placed the glasses in the sink and then searched her cabinets for the coffee and two mugs.

"I'm not _that_ girl, either. . .but, you're good looking. . .." She said and then stopped suddenly, deciding that there was a better way to phrase his physical appearance, "Actually, you're hot. . ._very_ hot and completely oblivious when women are hitting on you. . .So, I figure, a ring might keep them away."

"Didn't peg you as the jealous type."

Mac sighed. "I've never been the jealous type until I met you." The whole jealousy card was an extremely unfamiliar territory and something else for Mac to get used to. She'd been jealous of the women that Harm went out with – women that weren't anything like her. Now, she found that any woman who looked at him posed a threat. It was ludicrous, really – he only had eyes for her, and yet, she couldn't help herself.

Harm felt the same way, that growing jealousy anytime a man became a little interested. With Mic he had to control himself before something stupid happened. It wasn't as if the guy was bad for her, Harm was sure that Brumby would have given Mac everything in his power to make her happy. But Harm wanted to be the one to make her smile so brightly. He wanted to be the one to hold her at night and wake up by her side. Harm wasn't sure what would have happened if the wedding would have gone through. For sure, he would have had to leave Washington much earlier than intended; he couldn't take seeing her married to someone else. "I'd gotten over the whole jealousy thing. All of those centuries I spent alone, they made me cold . . .I actually forgot what it felt like to be jealous until I met you."

Harm took her hand and pulled Mac to him, pressing her body flush against his own. He craved her so badly, just being a few hours apart actually caused him to ache. He'd already bound her to him forever, but if she needed the silly little ring Harm was willing to oblige. Hell, he would throw her a wedding if she wanted – the biggest thing in all of Washington – or the smallest. Harm knew Mac well enough to know that she didn't need grandeur. A small ceremony would be enough. "You know, we don't have to abide by military rules and regulations." That are stupid and mundane, Harm thought, especially considering fraternization rules.

While he agreed that a senior service person should not have an intimate relationship with a junior service member, he didn't see the problem with those of the same rank dating or marrying. He felt it was worse if that relationship was never explored – like his and Mac's was. All it did was sway the good order and discipline at JAG.

Mac wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed tightly. She didn't want to spend another minute without him. They'd managed to get along at work, even with their unusual chemistry and tension. It had all worked out for the best – Harm had been the best working partner she'd ever have and the best opponent. "Seth ordered you to stay. He needs you here and I'm not going anywhere without you."

There were already plans in place to put a 'notion' in the SECNAV's mind about beginning a trial program where married couples would be allowed to work under the same commanding officer. Technically, Harriet and Bud were a testament that such relationships _could_ be pulled off if handled correctly.

"In that case. . ." He fished around inside of his jeans pocket and pulled out a Claddagh ring made of white gold. Harm wished it could have been a family heirloom, but his family could never afford such things. He'd purchased it in Ireland and kept it close to him at all times. He'd nearly lost the ring during his drunken stupor in France. It seemed Mac wasn't the only one thinking about silly little rings. "With my two hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my love." He slid the ring onto the ring finger of her left hand with the crown pointed inward – a symbol that they were, now, married.

Mac wiped away a tear that had escaped and watched, intently, as he slid the ring home. "Harm." She didn't expect him to have a ring waiting for her. Like Harm, the binding ritual of exchanging each other's blood had brough them together for life and there was nothing stronger. Still, they lived in the real world and branding him with some sort of symbol seemed the logical thing to do. Although, she realized, women would probably find him even more attractive then. It was something she'd learn to live with. "I love you." She pressed a hand to his face, caressing his cheek as she thought of the lengths he'd go just to make her happy. Mac was humbled.

Harm reached into his pocket again and produced a similar ring, this one big enough for his finger. Mac grinned as she took the small circle and slipped it onto his left ring finger. "With my two hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my love." She barely waited for him to admire how it looked before pulling him down and kissing him deeply.

Neither of them dwelled on the fact that they'd just shared such an important ceremony in her kitchen, of all places. They simply didn't care.

Dishes forgotten, Mac broke the kiss, took Harm's hand and yanked him through her apartment and to the bedroom. "I don't mind skipping the ceremony but I want a honeymoon." She said, as she worked on the button of his jeans.

"Where. Did. You. Want. To go?" Harm punctuated between kisses to her neck and collar. His fingers wrapped around the hem of her shirt and he waited for Mac to raise her arms before freeing her from it.

"Back to the cottage." Mac didn't have to think about it. The place had been so perfect, all she could think about was spending a few days with him at his ancestral home. "It's quanit, quiet and I have you all to myself." She managed to free all of the buttons of his shirt and ran her hands over the smooth muscles of his abdomen. Mac grinned when his body tensed. There was a certain spot, just under the bellybutton that made him shiver even with the slightest touch.

"You really liked Ireland?" Harm asked as he backed Mac into bed so that he could get to work on removing her sweatpants and underwear.

"Yes." She said breathlessly when his hands ran over her bare legs. In such a relatively short time, they'd come to know eachother so well that making love was a never-ending roller coaster ride. "The country is beatuiful and you were a little preoccupied with what Seth wanted that we had a lot of missed moments."

Harm felt the same way, their first time at the cottage had nothing to do with romance, only preservation. He needed to know that she would survive and once Sturgis was in contact with them, he went into full protective mode. It wasn't the most ideal wrench to throw into a new relationship, but Harm wasn't going to let her get hurt in order to sate his all-consuming desires. "I have a lot of things to make up to you, Mac." .

The seriousness of his tone touched her deeply. Mac sat up and took his face in her hands. "I love you and I don't need you to make anything up to me."

She was so amazing, it made Harm angry to think that he'd almost blown his last shot at happiness. "I love you, Mac." And he would spend eternity proving to her how much he loved her.


	24. Epilogue

**Chapter 24 - Epilogue **

**December 24, 2069  
1940 Local  
****Vietnam War Memorial  
"****Washington, DC.**

"Sometimes, I don't know why I keep coming." Harm pulled the glove off of his right hand and pressed his fingers to the cool marble before him.

Ever since leaving Washington in the spring of 2005, his trips to the Wall had been few and far between. It was just too much of a hassle to book flights and return home – wherever that was – in order to celebrate Christmas. Eventually, he decided on making trips every five years and had stuck to that routine until Mac reminded him that the centenial of Harmon Rabb Senior's disappearance would be that year.

"Because he's a part of you." Mac suggested and took her husband's other hand, threading her fingers through his. "He's the link to where your life started."

"All it does is bring up bad memories of my past." He lamented, wondering why he needed to torture himself this way. Christmas was about spending time with his family, not dredging up a past that was extremely burried. His family deserved any peace that they got. Things just seemed to go haywire ever since they'd left. . .

In 2005, Seth had decided to pull him and Mac out of Washington and the military. His thoughts of using a special serum that Pery had created that would force Harm to age fell to the wayside when members of The Order had cropped up again. This time, their forces were better organized and their new leader, Grant Channing, a former member of the Britsh Secret Service, had found a new method of desctruction. While torturing a rogue vampire Channing had realized the potentials of creating his own rogue army.

When he tried to persuade high ranking leaders that funded The Order, he was mocked and made to look like a fool. But there was one man, a US Senator who had the funding and the desire. The man's daughter had been attacked by a vampire and died as a result of blood loss. He had funded The Order so that justice would be served and, in the end, found nothing but sick indivisuals who only wanted to torture the creatures. With Channing, he found a man with a vision to eredicate the whole race.

Rumors of such a plan began bombarding The Collective in 2002 but the concept seemed ludicrious. Rogues were much too blood thirsty to forge any alliance with a mortal, and yet that was exactly the ocurrence. It forced the urgency for more Enforcers and the Cheateu was used as the training grounds with Harm and Gabriel leading the charge.

The war had been bloody and, at one point, Mac had been caught in the cross hairs. Channing had used The Order's past files to find that information had been documented by Harm, Mac and several other members. Catching her proved to be a difficult feat so he simply ordered a rogue to hunt her down. She had been attacked in Paris, left bleeding and with the horrible thoughts of what her death would surely do to Harm.

She had survived due to the kindness of a good samaritan and the mind control trickery that Seth had armed her with. However, a drug that the samaritan, a nurse, had injected her with had caused a comatose of sorts. It had taken her nearly a week to return to the Chateau and she almost arrived too late. Their connection assured Harm that she was alive, but with the drug in her system he was unable to find her. It took her several more days, with the help of Seth, to calm his rage.

Two weeks after that, the war had ended with only six casualities to The Collective. Most of the rogues had been killed and Channing was being held prisoner in order to extract information. Not wanting to make a mistake again, Seth ordered Channing killed once he gave up priceless information.

During the winter of 2004, before the war had started, Seth had finally managed to face his lifemate. The woman - now named Elizabeth Stanwood - had grieved the loss of her sick husband, who had passed a year prior, and was ready to begin life again. It was a chance meeting, Seth happened to be in London on business when he bumped into her. The touch was mystical and he could feel a pull that was irresistible and tempting. "I was wondering when you would come back for me." She remembered him and many parts of their life together.

While some memories were hazy, Elizabeth Standwood_ knew_ that she was someone else and that the life that had been given to her was not her own. She'd loved her husband and cared for him up until his death but seeing Seth across the room, some years back, had triggered odd dreams that kept her up at night. Somehow, she knew that she had a family somewhere else with a man that she loved more than life itself. All she had to do was be patient.

Elizabeth, or Ellie as she liked to be called, never really pieced together the parts of the past. It had been far too long. But, she embraced her new life and found a kindred spirit with Mac. The two helped eachother out as they made their full transmission from the mortal to the immortal world. Seth and Ellie were married four months later and opted to travel the world for several years before settling down at the Chateau.

Bud and Harriet remained at JAG Headquarters for a year after Harm and Mac left. In July of 2006 a promotion sent the Roberts' clan to San Diego where Bud became Chief Of Staff under Commander Meg Austin. His success in the courtroom and investigative procedures during one landmark case had skyrocketed his career.

Harm and Mac had kept in touch with the Roberts up until 2010 when AJ Roberts became curious as to why neither his godfather or godmother seemed to age. Harm had been holding off breaking ties with the Roberts until something monumental occurred. AJ's questions had been it. Up until that point, Bud and Harriet were under the impression that Harm had retired when his 20 years were up and that Mac's new billet had sent her to the US Embassy in France.

It was a charade that they couldn't continue any longer. Harm sat down with Bud and Harriet and explained to them what he and Mac were. As expected, Bud was thrilled and Harriet was bewildered that such beings could exist. Perhaps the happiest person was Mac who was glad to have her friends back in her life without secrets between them. Her happiness was short-lived, however, no more than three minutes later Harm blanked their existence from their minds. He then proceeded to do the same with the children, leaving only a small memory of a Commander and a Colonel that Bud once worked with. He _pushed_ into their minds that they were never to search for them at any cost.

That night, Harm watched Mac cry herself to sleep, mourning the loss of two of the best friends she'd ever had. Having lived so many lives, Harm knew that this was the better method. He just couldn't live through a friend's death again and preferred to just erase himself fully out of Bud and Harriet's lives. It would be best for them, safer. To make sure that they would always be cared for, he anonymously created a trust fund for all four of the Roberts' kids. To insure that neither he nor Mac could be found, Harm, once again, changed his family name; this time from Rabb to Raber.

Several years later, Bud J. Roberts was selected as Judge Advocate General. After his commission, Harriet officially retired from the NAVY and set to work on foundations that benefited the families of military service members.

Along with Harm and Mac, AJ Chegwidden left the Navy in 2005 and moved to Italy in order to help Francesca raise her daughter. During his time there, he reconciled with his ex-wife, Marcella and, though the two never re-married, they lived a long and fruitful life together until his death at the age of 91 years old.

Like Harm and Mac, Sturgis was forced to leave the Navy and even the submariner life that he loved so much. During the battle against The Order, his gifts of healing were needed in order to patch up their troops and send them back in to battle. The healers were working in partners, an idea that Seth had in so that each one had someone to watch their backs. For Sturgis, his partner wound up being his lifemate – an African-American woman named Nadia. She was stunning and absolutely complimented him in ways no one ever could. While he had enjoyed Congresswoman Bobbi Latham's company – they each knew they were not meant to be together. It was all for the moment and that moment was long gone. Once the battle was over, Sturgis and Nadia settled into Toronto where she could work as an artist and he as a social worker.

Sighing deeply, Harm looked up at the skies and the light snow that began falling. "Not all memories are bad." He said softly, recalling that his more memorable life had been lived in that very city. Harm had found the truth about his great grandson, learned to fly a supersonic jet and met the love of his life in that very city. Now that they'd returned, all Harm needed to do was create new memories. That began with stopping his trips to The Wall – after one hundred years, it was time to let go.

"Daddy, I'm cold, can we go yet?" Harm felt a tug at his black trenchcoat and looked down to find Abigail, their 4 year old daughter standing next to him. "Mommy said you'd make hot choccie." Her brown eyes lit up at the prospect of the sugary drink and Harm couldn't help but chuckle. The girl was a miniature version of Mac right down to her love of junk food cuisine – a habit that Mac hadn't been able to shake.

He picked up his daughter and stood next to Mac, still in awe of the magic of their relationship. Their attraction for one another hadn't dwindled. They still couldn't keep their hands off eachother. "Abby says that I have to make her _'choccie'_? I assume that means that we'd need to stop and get a box of donuts too, right?"

Mac grinned, the man knew her too well. "Yup and I want the ones with colored sprinkles on top."

Abigail's conception had been much of a surprise. Neither Mac nor Harm had given much thought to children, they were too busy enjoying eachother and the world travel that they engaged in when the battle with The Order had finished. When they least expected it, Mac began to feel pains – something that Immortals didn't feel unless they were injured. She was taken to an Immortal hospital in Alaska and discovered that she was two months pregnant.

Like every Immortal woman before her, Mac spent nearly most of her pregnancy in bed rest. The virus in their blood had a habit of kicking into overdrive during pregnancy and it was common to miscarry. She never complained although Harm could tell that lying around was driving her crazy. He'd been excellent with her; attentive, sensitive and scared to death at facing the loss of another child – a fear that he'd kept to himself in order not to frighten Mac. Then, the night of November 1st, 2065, Abigail Raber was born in Northern Alaska.

The little girl was a spitting image of Mac and Harm was already dreading her teenage years. As the time went by, Abigail would start to show more and more of her vampire traits and, eventually, stop aging as a result. Until then, things were almost the same as raising a mortal child. Schooling was always done at home and most immortal parents allowed their children to attend mortal high school, usually a boarding school, in order for the fledglings to understand mortals better. By that time, the children knew enough about their parents that family secrets were not discussed.

"Colored sprinkles it is. You okay with that, kiddo?" Harm asked his daughter who wrapped her little arms around his neck and squeezed tightly. "I love you, daddy!" He heard her say into the crook of his neck, the sounds of such words filling him with more happiness than he should be allowed. "Love you too, sweetie."

Arm in arm, Harm and Mac walked out of the memorial with their daughter and to their new life in Washington. It would likely be just as interesting as their first lives here. Especially considering that both Harm and Mac were working as agents for NCIS.

THE END.


End file.
